Electroconvulsive Therapy
In this moment I feel as if I am falling,
Into a prison from nowhere,
I see my shadow arabesque as
I watch my reflection appear
In a river of never abating madness-
Hiding from all that is real,
Moments have passed since I lay upon
A cold metal table,
Drifting off to sleep, and
Upon awakening-
I remember nothing, except for
The sensation of falling
From nowhere into nothingness-
As I watch the sun rising,
Outside of a picture window,
I find myself alive in some different place in time.
I feel my heart pounding
As is it were trying to escape
From a prison of iron bars inside of my chest, as
My brain spins about
As it were riding a horse on a merry-go –round,
It’s motor somehow
Rapidly accelerating
As that horse bobs up and down
Exacerbating my fear-
I hear myself screaming
In the midst of deadly silence-
The sun has now risen high over the mountains outside.
Within my utmost fantasies,
I am climbing my own mountain,
Hoping to reach the sky although
I cannot escape that merry-go-round of terror-
Except that I know now
I cannot hide from all that is real,
I shall never touch the sky and as
I find myself falling off of this make believe mountain-
I can see my shadow more clearly and
As I fall into a river of my fantasies,
I swim to the bank of this river from nowhere,
Leaving the madness behind-
poem by Claudia Krizay

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Innerspace
The moon was full last night
Enlightening the midnight sky-
My inner demons were dancing
Fighting ghosts from hell-
I tell myself
“Someday you will find peace of mind and
Someday you shall find yourself-“
I cannot recall the day
I had fallen off that mountain
I was climbing trying to gain control-
I found myself falling, falling and falling-
Into a prison where the floors were tiled,
Walls were white but stained-
I can still hear sirens screaming and the
Pounding upon the walls-
I remember that room
Inside which I was locked and blinded by
The darkness overshadowing-
I begged for help with my heart wide open-
Figuratively bleeding tears of despair- as I heard
Voices threatening to kill me-
Echoing about the chamber of madness
Inside of which I was trapped-
Miles from reality-this place where
Whereas a prisoner inside of my mind, I was climbing that stairway from hell-
With no destination,
Falling, falling and falling-
Into bedlam-
I can only recall
Lying upon a mattress sadly torn,
Springs jutting outward into my back as
My body rocked
Backward and forward
Backward and forward
With monotonous regularity-
The moon was full last night-
It has often been said allegorically that
People lose their sanity dancing beneath
The light of the moon-
Following the path of a comet in some
Figment of my imagination as
My search continues to find out who I am-
As the moon disappears on the horizon
The sun rises over the mountains-
I see the light-
I hear a voice-
All I can do is to keep on dancing-
Dancing as I hope that
My Dionysian spirit
Shall set me free someday…
poem by Claudia Krizay

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Merry-Go-Round
Merry-go-round, merry-go-round,
Up in the sky.
Merry-go-round, merry-go-round,
Soars me high!
Breeze rustles,
cloud's castles,
Roam round and round!
I shriek in false fear,
Seeing the thing near,
which I never have found.
Merry-go-round, merry-go-round,
Brings the fun to me,
Merry-go-round, merry-go-round,
Fills mind with glee!
Moving round, round,
Touching the ground,
Almost kisses the sky.
Merry-go-round, merry-go-round,
Takes me up in the high!
poem by Nilakshi Das

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One summer when the wind was strong
This is the place, now we are here again
I remember that summer when the wind was strong
And everything around us was dry,
The acacia trees towered and showered us with
Round leaves falling and falling and falling
Some birds were there and they flew away
Some cars were there and they speeded away
It was getting dark and it was a dry summer
We stayed there for a while when the leaves fell
Then we went under the trees not seeking shelter
But to catch those leaves falling and falling and falling
We are trying to feel again what falling was
We are here on this summer, we see the leaves
Falling and falling again to the dry wind,
We try to recall about us, but there is simply
Nothing about us anymore, but just the same
The leaves fall and fall and fall, we see them reenacting
There is that meaning; there it is in the falling
But we have outgrown it, we look for more, we hope
We can find some more, something beyond us.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa

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Gemini
(lead vocal - chris rainbow)
Watching waiting rising falling
Listening calling drifting
Touching feeling seeing believing
Hoping sending leaving
I couldnt say why you and I are gemini
If I tried to write a million words a day
I see your shadow coming closer
Then watch you drifting away
Watching waiting rising falling
Listening calling drifting
Touching feeling seeing believing
Hoping sending leving
I couldnt say why you and I are gemini
We are travelling a million worlds away
I see your shadow coming closer
Then watch you drifting away
song performed by by Alan Parsons Project

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fugue For The Fox
Call happy calling children are falling
In line to ride on the merry-go-round
People are passing children are laughing
They want to ride on the merry-go-round
Doesn't matter when you came
Every ride is just the same
Do not worry how it's done
There is room for everyone
Carousel turning children are yearning
To ride it forever and never come down
Little one's singing older one's clinging
Everyone riding the merry-go-round
Go round and round and up and down
Round and round they go always reaching for the ring of gold
Never knowing when the music's over they will be old
Call happy calling children are falling
In line to ride on the merry-go-round
People are passing children are laughing
They want to ride on the merry-go-round
Sometimes up and sometimes down
Don't let your feet ever touch the ground
Sometimes right and sometimes wrong
You'll end up where you belong
Sound of their laughter makes the ride faster
Soon the circus stand must come down
Music grows nowhere the ride is over
Say goodbye to the merry-go-round
song performed by by Emmylou Harris

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Searching
The sky is raining teardrops-
Although the sky is a deep shade of cerulean blue-
The mountains reflect the color of the sky, and as
The sun is trying to rise above mountains of uncertainty-
I walk a never ending pathway leading to nowhere,
I fear the world that the sky rains upon and
These teardrops falling from the sky
Intermesh with the tears emanating from my heart that bleeds
Pain, confusion and terrifying madness
I feel as someone's hand is reaching out from the sky to taunt me, as
Eyes are seemingly staring from the creek that runs beside me-
Although dread is tearing my body and mind apart,
Robbing me of my flagging grasp on reality, -
I keep walking steadily upon that pathway, though seemingly void of direction.
The sky is raining teardrops-
Teardrops that could be falling from the depths of my soul-
I fear the world, inside which I could soon be drowning in a river of tears,
But I keep walking that pathway that I fear could be leading to nowhere.
I can see people walking before me-
People nobody else can see, and
I listen to voices calling my name-
Voices that only I can hear, and
That hand that reaches from the sky that taunts me,
Most likely, only I can feel.
As frightening as these intruding contacts can be-
They are my close and familiar friends, especially
When this world is spinning out of control,
The sun has risen above mountains of madness and
Is burning my spirit, inside and outside-
The path I walk is blocked by fallen branches of barren trees and while
I stumble over rocks- I shall keep walking this pathway,
Although I do not know where it leads to-
Teardrops fall from my eyes and from the cotton-like clouds that decorate the sky,
My life is a struggle day in and day out-In this life I have yet to find my destination-
I could end my life drowning in a river of abyss, however
I shall keep on walking this mysterious pathway until
I find my place in this world- this world of vast and endless possibilities-
The sun beats down upon me searing my flesh and my spirit, as
I weep tears of frustration and anger-
Somewhere though I believe there is a place for me and
I shall continue walking this pathway-even though I foresee no end or direction
I shall keep walking as I look upward toward the sky of cobalt blue and
Those magnificent cotton-like clouds, giving me hope and direction
Until I discover my own dream, as far away as it may be.
poem by Claudia Krizay

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Imprisoned
Falling:
Imprisoned, while
Hiding-
Eyes, fixed upon
Mountains of madness-
Chained to the sky,
Yellow hued-
Venus, rising:
Looking;
Shadows,
Reflecting pond-
Angry?
Can you
Believe in
Starlight?
Only when I am
Falling from
Mountains of
Madness
Wishing upon a
Star….
poem by Claudia Krizay

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It's a river
When the time keeps passing and the world goes round
and the sea is crashing at the cliffs and the sounds
erupting as the seabirds cry, you can watch the river
as the time goes by
And it's like it's holy and it can be hell
and you feel so lonely and you fear the smell
of the guns that fire then you see the light
of a rainbow dawning and you realise
that the river's flowing as the time goes by
And you met the people and you knew them well
and you said you loved them and you rang the bell
in the tree of life you watched them grow
and the world is turning as the river flows
The earth smells good and the sky turns gold
when the birds are singing and you bless the old
you can kiss your woman and it feels so right
as you touch the river as the time goes by
As you stand barefoot upon the morning shore
and you feel the centuries of death and war
and the wind is biting and it tears your skin
and the river's flowing where its always been
And the river washes and the river's clean
and the soul remembers where the river's been
as you watch it tumble and you watch it flow
your life's a river now you know, now you know
your life's a river now you know.
poem by Charles M. Moore

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The Real World
Excuse me sir,
Could you tell me how to get to the real world?
Oh o oh wow!
Uh huh, the world is a funny place
And its calling you names
Hey hey, the world is a funny place, heeeey
Oh o wow!
Oh wow in the real world walking around
I think Im falling in love again
Hey guardian angel - more light for falling in love
Oh wow!, hey hey
Ho ho the world is a funny place
And its calling you names
Hey hey, the world is a funny place heeeey
Oh wow!
Oh wow in the real world look at the sky
Hear the calling above again
Look mom an angel - all right for falling in love
Deep down in the sea of her
Life is surrounding
You can feel like a dove and then
Like a million rainbows
Here they come again, here they come again
They call it falling in love
They call it falling
Oh wow!
In the real world lookin around
I think Im falling in love with them
In the garden of angels
Ho ho were falling in love (oh wow!)
Hey hey its a real world
Look at the ground
Can you see your reflection there
Everything is single
Here we come again
Here we come again
Hey guardian angel
Open your eyes
And all the love will make you fly -- high
Real world, real world
Were in the real world
Falling in love again
Were in the real world (oh wow!)
Oh wow in the real world walking around
I think Im falling in love again
Hey guardian angel, more light for falling in love
Hey hey its a real world walking around
I think Im falling in love again
Hey guardian angel,
Here we come again, here we come again
They call it falling in love (hey)
They call it falling in love (hey)
They call it falling in love (hey)
They call it falling in love (hey)
They call it falling in love (hey)
They call it falling in love (hey)
They call it falling in love (hey)
They call it falling in love (hey)
Oh wow! hey!
Oh wow!
song performed by by Men Without Hats

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Washing Of The Water
River, river carry me on
Living river carry me on
River, river carry me on
To the place where I come from
So deep, so wide, will you take me on your back for a ride
If I should fall, would you swallow me deep inside
River, show me how to float
I feel like Im sinking down
Thought that I could get along
But here in this water
My feet wont touch the ground
I need something to turn myself around
Going away, away towards the sea
River deep, can you lift up and carry me
Oh roll on though the heartland
til the sun has left the sky
River, river carry me high
til the washing of the water make it all alright
Let your waters reach me like she reached me tonight
Letting go, its so hard
The way its hurting now
To get this love untied
So tough to stay with thing
cause if I follow through
I face what I denied
I get those hooks out of me
And I take out the hooks that I sunk deep in your side
Kill that fear of emptiness, loneliness I hide
River, oh river, river running deep
Bring me something that will let me get to sleep
In the washing of the water will you take it all away
Bring me something to take this pain away
song performed by by Peter Gabriel

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When The Night Comes Falling From The Sky
Look out across the fields, see me returning.
Smoke is in your eyes, you draw a smile.
From the fireplace where my letters to you are burning,
Youve had time to think about it for a while.
Well, Ive walked two hundred miles, look me over.
Its the end of the chase and the moon is high.
It wont matter who loves who.
Youll love me or Ill love you
When the night comes falling,
When the night comes falling,
When the night comes falling from the sky.
I can see through your walls and I know youre hurting.
Sorrow covers you up like a cape.
Only yesterday I know that youve been flirting
With disaster you somehow managed to escape.
Well, I cant provide for you no easy answers.
Who are you that I should have to lie?
Youll know all about it, love.
Itll fit you like a glove
When the night comes falling,
When the night comes falling,
When the night comes falling from the sky.
I can hear your trembling heart beat like a river.
You must have been protecting someone last time I called.
Ive never asked you for nothing that you couldnt deliver.
Ive never asked to set yourself up for a fall.
I saw thousands who could have overcome the darkness,
For the love of a lousy buck, Ive watched them die.
Stick around, baby, were not through,
Dont look for me, Ill see you.
When the night comes falling,
When the night comes falling,
When the night comes falling from the sky.
In your teardrops, I can see my own reflection.
It was on the northern border of texas where I crossed the line.
I dont want to be a fool starving for affection.
I dont want to drown in someone elses wine.
For all eternity I think I will remember
That icy wind thats howling in your eye.
You will seek me and youll find
Me in the wasteland of your mind.
When the night comes falling,
When the night comes falling,
When the night comes falling from the sky.
Well, I sent you my feelings in a letter
But you were gambling for support.
This time tomorrow Ill know you better.
Where my memory is not so short.
This time Im asking for freedom,
Freedom from a world which you deny.
And youll give it to me now,
Ill take it anyhow.
When the night comes falling,
When the night comes falling,
When the night comes falling from the sky.
song performed by by Bob Dylan

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Reoccurring Dream
I am running.
Faster and faster,
from what or
who, I don't know.
The adrenaline pulsing
through my veins,
pushing me to
keep going forward
even though my body
wants to collapse.
I am screaming.
Screaming his name.
I don't know where
he has gone!
I have lost him!
But still I move
forward with hope
that I can
find him!
I see a clearing.
And I see something
in the distance.
Someone hovering over
a shadow on the ground.
Before I do
anything, the person
disappears in the
darkness beyond.
Leaving the shadow.
My heart starts pounding
as I slowly move
toward the shadow
to take a look.
One thought keeps
raising in my head,
but I push it back.
I get closer and closer,
but I still can't see.
When I finally do
my heart stops
and everything spins
all around me.
I fall forward
on my knees.
The tears come
in a rush,
making me loose
my breath.
This has to
be a dream.
This can't be real!
He can't die!
I love him too much!
I pick up
his head gently
and place it on
my lap and
just rock back
and forth
trying to keep calm!
My tears falling
onto his face,
but he doesn't move!
He doesn't even
make a sound.
My love has
been taken from me!
It has been
destroyed forever!
How can I
possibly love now?
How can I do anything
without him?
Why would the
world take him
away from me?
What did I
do to them?
All I did was
love him with
all of my heart and soul!
The tears are
coming so fast,
I can hardly breathe.
It comes out
in gasps making
me very light-headed.
My vision is
blurred by my
constantly falling tears!
But I can
clearly see his
pale, dead face.
So I close my
eyes to try to
make the image
of it go away,
but I still
can see it!
Just like it
was right in
front of me!
I open my eyes
and he is not there!
Like he has
never been there,
Just like he had
walked away.
Leaving me alone
in this cruel world!
But he wanted
to be with me.
He loved me
and does love me still!
I wake up,
drenched in sweat.
Realizing that it
was just a dream.
That is wasn't real.
It wont happen.
Or will it? ...
poem by Jaana Coon

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A River For Him
(emmylou harris)
I crossed on the river
Therell be no returning
I crossed all the bridges
I watched them all burning
And now Im a stranger
To a strange land Im driven
Where all is forgotten
And nothings forgiven
But I cried a river
A river for him
Thats deeper and wider
Than Ill ever swim
The heart it will harden
The sorrow will dim
But I cried a river
A river for him
I think of him now
On the road I am taking
And wonder how long
His heart will be breaking
But hell never hear when
The teardrops are falling
Or the sound of my voice
And the name Im calling
But I cried a river
A river for him
Thats deeper and wider
Than Ill ever swim
The heart it will harden
The sorrow will dim
But I cried a river
A river for him
So sweep for the sons
And the dear darling daughters
For the passing of time
And the parting of waters
For all who have passed through
This world long before me
To a far distant shore line
Where no one waits for me
But I cried a river
A river for him
Thats deeper and wider
Than Ill ever swim
The heart it will harden
The sorrow will dim
But I cried a river
A river for him
song performed by by Emmylou Harris

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Falling Off
I was a young man
Whose intentions were good
Kept my hands in my pockets
The way that I should
I soon found out
They got a mind of their own
Beginning to think
I had a heart
Made of stone
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
I try to remember
I try to forget
I┬┤ll keep my promise
Is that what I said
I had your number
But I didn┬┤t call
I got no excuse
I got my back to the wall
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
My eyes don┬┤t want to see
My ears don┬┤t want to hear
The things that make me feel
That keep me so endeared to you
It makes me think
Is that the best I can do
It doesn┬┤t matter
The time that I fall
I'm up for the next one
Like I'm ten feet tall
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
I keep falling off
song performed by by Aerosmith

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Magic
Fear, anger, mistrust and nearly
Half a century of
Living in a world unfamiliar
To all but myself-
Has left me in dismay and in solitude-
Tomorrow is another day where
My morning shall be
Walking in the darkness, although
Moments away from sunrise and
Knowing that within a few hours
As I sleep- my mind shall become aware-
As if lightening has struck in some
Magical way-Fear, anger and
Mistrust shall disappear in a moment’s notice-
A different sort of sun shall rise
For me alone, shining light upon my kaleidoscopic world-
Black skies transform to cobalt blue as
A hurricane of sorts shall blow the sinister clouds away-
I shall see a rainbow rise from
Behind mountains of madness and
As the moon in its fullness disappears behind
Blossoming trees and I regain my sanity and hope,
Those alien voices shall be silenced-
Fear, anger and mistrust are hiding deep inside of a phantasmal river,
Rapidly receding and it shall only be days before
That river overflows and washes over me,
I can see those dismal clouds returning-
And all I can do is to remember words of wisdom telling me to
Grasp firmly onto those fleeting feelings of peace, hope and
Focus on the clarity of the skies above-
Feelings are so like thunderclouds- and
Finding one’s rainbow is a rarity- when lightening has struck your mind-
When feelings of fear and rage are inborn-
One never knows when the rain shall begin to fall again-
Voices that I hear are not real, and all I can do is dream
While the rain is falling until lightening strikes again-
Skies clear and although skies of cobalt blue so magnificent
Are in passing as is that phantasmal river before it overflows-
Perhaps in a different light it shall wash my tears away and hope shall remain, that
That magical sun shall someday rise for me alone and never set…
poem by Claudia Krizay

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Red, Blue, Green and Gold
Silence somehow has entered this room where
This morning laughter had filled, I hardly know what to say but
I can hear my own tears screaming aloud- even though
I cannot see them falling- Red, blue, green and gold- Just about any color I can
See decorating the four walls that enclose me- All I can do is look and
All I can do is to try and remember yesterday as being close to God-
Now the doors have been locked- the doors to those dreams that kept my spirit alive-
That window into a once vivid imagination- and now a curtain has fallen and
I have lost the key to that door that has become a wall that separates-
I have been in love with silence- Devoured solitude as if
It was the food that kept me alive-
I danced amongst carnations and yellow peace roses
Every moment I looked into the world of my hallucinations?
Yesterday was another day as will be tomorrow-
I am trying to live one day at a time- I once rode a bus towards eternity-
That has come to a roadblock I cannot bypass-
Red, blue, green and gold- only colors but all I have left-
Decorating the walls inside which I find myself imprisoned-
Listening to the music of my spirit, then collapsing as I
Once again fall into that cesspool of insanity that had once before contained me?
Fighting the memories of lying upon a urine stained carpet inside
A room so rudely called “seclusion? ”
Or walking about some nowhere land as I have wept tears and
Have abandoned faith, hope and a will to stay alive?
Locked doors and broken windows, clouds obstructing the sun-
I cannot find the right words to say- my heart has been buried and
I find myself lying still- drifting away into another world-
Trying to escape from such a place that has been deemed by others as reality?
No hope, but a prayer, moments lost have turned to years of
Never ending frustration and truth to me as I lose myself into
That world everyone identifies as delusive?
Voices that tell me they want me to die and now rain turns to ice as I
Slip and fall into never abating madness?
Red, blue, green and gold- vibrant colors that kept my soul alive?
Red, blue, green, and gold- have become none but futile and
Colors of that rainbow that is part of somebody else’s world-
Yesterday is another day as is tomorrow- and today-
Today I ride a bus that is speeding down a highway to nowhere-
Has just crashed and here I lie- staring at the ceiling
Breathing oxygen from a rubber mask counting from one to ten and -
Red, blue, green and gold – have become none but elements of my dreams-
As I lose myself in some other place and time has become none but an illusion?
poem by Claudia Krizay

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Rivers Of Ice
Dont need the money nothing can buy
All that I feel under the skies
Shadows were falling my heart beat inside
We walk through the fields to the rivers of ice
Days turn to colour and darkness to light
She said I want you I need you I want you in my life
Love in the shadows the blood rushed inside
Carry on little saviour to the end of the line
I get high for ever
Till the river runs dry for every
Ooh for ever
Its been so many years now I still cant forget
Love flew like an eagle in gods wilderness
Shadows were falling oh my heart beat inside
We kissed on the bridge above the river of ice
I get high for ever
The river runs dry for ever
I get high for ever
The river runs dry for ever
Ooh she tells me
Ooh she tells me
Tell the end of the line
Shadows were falling
On rivers of ice
Music : maclachlan lyrics and arrangement by : kerr/burchill reproduced without permission
song performed by by Simple Minds

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One Chain
D. lambert/b.potter
Just because in a moment of madness
I took advantage of your sweet love
Don't just hand me a lifetime of sadness
When there's so little i'm guilty of
One chain don't make no prison
Two wrongs don't make no right
One rain don't make no river
One punch don't make no fight
Can you spare me a little affection
Would that be askin' too much of you
Don't point love in another direction
I swear i'll make it up to you
One chain don't make no prison
Two wrongs don't make no right
One rain don't make no river
One punch don't make no fight
There's a bed i'm keepin' empty for you
There's a lot i know i've got to prove
Don't let a simple misunderstanding
Be a mountain that we can't move
song performed by by Doobie Brothers

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In Time
Faces of terror, and
Mountains of madness,
Climbing upward towards oblivion,
I could envision
Saturn dancing in a slate gray sky above me-
I was alone within
My own Garden of Eden, running from
A sky that rained tears that had fallen in time-
Days of peace and coherence,
Moments of harmonious thoughts and
Memories of a life replete with bliss never-ending had
Vanished in the wind and had been carried away-
Climbing that phantasmal ladder,
Hoping to touch the sky-
The sky where some believe angels await-
In these primordial beings,
I am not a believer.
Surrounded by mountains of madness-
Stepping over stones while all eyes are upon me-
Drifting away into some other universe
I would awaken in my own Garden of Eden-
Mountains of madness are cloud covered and
Rain has cleansed these faces of terror-
I have in my own way touched the sky and
Can see the miracle of Saturn’s dancing and
Venus rising while the full moon shines light
Brightening my once darkened world-
I had wished upon a star and my dreams have come true-
I am alive and in my solitude, calm and in this moment-
I am a believer…
I am surrounded by trees of oblivion- and we all know
What we do NOT know
Will not harm us and that
Rain has fallen in the stillness of time-
poem by Claudia Krizay

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That Quick Little Brown Dog
that quick little brown dog
jumps over the fence
near the bank of the river,
it is not your dog,
but you happen to be there when it
jumped,
over the fence near the bank of the river
into the river
that deep river with a overrunning
of the water
the dog was struggling to swim back
to the safety of the bank
but it failed and the dog was taken away
by the river and
it was gone,
you wonder why until now you think about that
dead dog
it is not yours but it sticks to your mind
as though it is yours
somehow you think as though you own it
and that you feel so painful about such loss
and you cannot sleep
and then you dream about that quick little brown dog
that drowned
it is barking so hard trying to be alive again
you wake up
with lots of cold sweat
somehow you think again
inside that dream
the face of the quick little brown dog
that jumped over the fence
into the deep river
is yours.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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