The Logic Of Anti-Sosh
Mister Chairman; - er - ah - when
We right-thinking business men
Are treated with much scant - um - er - civility,
I say the time has come
For us to - er - ah - um -
To defend our rights and - er - respectability.
We are right, sir, to defend
Our interests. And the trend
Of present legislation is - fantastic, sir.
That is - er - the only word
To describe it. It's absurd!
And calls for opposition - um - er - drastic, sir!
And - ah - sir. I think I can
Say this meeting to a man
Is distinctly Anti-Sosh and - er - and sensible;
And holds that Labor aims
And Socialistic claims
Are visionary and - um - reprehensible.
We are ready to resist
The - ah - rabid Socialist,
Who's as great an anarchist as any Russian, sir!
And the Labor party's laws
Are tyrannical! (Applause.)
Which - er - brings me to the subject of discussion, sir.
Regarding telephones:
The Labor Party (Groans)
Seems to think it can oppress us with impunity.
But I hold, sir, it is plain
That the benefits we gain
Should be paid for by - that is - the whole community!
As an Anti-Socialist,
Mister Chairman, I insist
(If that gentleman who interjected recently
Will endeavour to restrain
His impatience, I'll explain.
I'd remind him we conduct these meetings decently).
Mister Chairman, to resume.
When I look around this room
On the members of this - er - great society,
And consider we've to pay
For these benefits, I say
It's - er - bordering on - um - on impropriety!
The - er - people, sir, should bear
(What's that? ... I protest, sir! Chair!
This - er - person who seems bent upon confusing me
With his most unseemly din
I don't know how he got in
Cannot shake my argument, sir, by abusing me.)
And I answer him, sir, Bosh!
Bosh! How dare he call me Sosh!
Our position is invinc - er - ah - invincible!
His remarks, sir, I resent,
And I hold my argument
Is a basic principle of - um - of principle!
As my worthy friend, Bruce Smith
(Bosh sir! ... Petriana myth! ...
Six hitters! ... Marriage tie! ... er - Confiscation, sir!
Um - er - break up fam'ly ties! ...
Lies, sir! Socialistic lies!
Alarming capital and immigration, sir!)
Now - (Eh! ... Order! Sir, I claim
Your protection! What's his name?
Is this man a member? Sir, show your authority!
An imposter, I've no doubt.
Ha, I thought so! Put him out!)
Now the motion ... Carried! by a large majority.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
The Anti-Socialist
'Tis morn.
An individualistic cock
Proclaims the fact.
The dissipated cat sneaks home forlorn.
'Tis time to get up and act!
'Tis eight o'clock!
The stern and stalwart anti-Socialist,
Freeborn
And independent citizen, whose fist
Is raised against all Socialistic schemes,
Wakes from the land o' dreams;
(Nightmares of Sosh)
Gets up, and has a wash
In water from the Socialistic main;
Empties it down the Socialistic drain,
And, giving his moustache the proper twist,
He then
Breakfasts upon an egg,
Laid by some anti-Socialistic
Hen;
And, as he chews,
Endeavours to peruse
The news
In some wise publication, printing views
That no right-thinking man could grumble at;
And, having scoffed the egg,
His hat
He reaches from its peg;
Perambulates the Socialistic path
But that
Annoys him just as little as the bath.
Tho' both essentially are Sosh's works,
He never shirks
Their use;
But much abuse
Of Socialistic ideas, without excuse,
Flavors his conversation in the train
The Socialistic train.
But, here again,
He is not heard to murmur or complain
Against the train.
At length the hour
Of ten
Strikes the Socialistic tower;
And then
He gains
His office and enquires
For letters and for wires.
Nor e'en complains
They reach him thro' a Socialistic post.
There are a host
Of letters - quite a pile
Some from his friends
(Ah! See him smile),
Cursing the Labor party's aims and ends.
Here is a note
Bidding him be content and of good cheer,
For, in the House last night, the Fusion vote
Defeated Labor on the Telephone
Discussion. Wherefore charges won't be near
As dear
As he has cause to fear.
And that reminds him. He rings on the 'phone,
And tells a friend
At t'other end
That Socialism's better left alone.
Says it emphatically thro' the 'phone
The Socialistic 'phone
That instrument
The Government is running at a loss
Of very much per cent.
He knows that it is so.
But is he cross?
No!
He's quite content...
So, through the day
He goes his anti-Socialistic way.
Round and about
The town,
Wearing the Socialistic pavement out;
Riding in Socialistic trams
And damning damns
When Socialism's mentioned - with a frown...
As night comes down,
He scorns the Socialistic atmosphere
Of a plain pub
And beer,
And seeks his club.
While here
He drinks
And tells his fellow members what he thinks
About the 'Labah pawty' and its claims
And visionary aims.
They languidly remark 'Hear, hear.'...
Then out once more
And, in a Socialistic tram and train,
On to suburbia, and home again
To his own door.
Then to his bed;
Laying his wise and proper-thinking head
In downy pillow-deep.
He is about to dropp
To sleep
When - 'Flop... Flop...
Flop' ...
What's that?
The cat,
Chasing an individualistic rat?
Nay, 'tis the footfall of the midnight cop,
Echoing through
The stilly night,
Telling that I and you
Are guarded in our right;
He guards the persons and the propertee
Of you and me.
He's a Socialistic institution too
The man in blue.
No wonder WILLIAM SIKES
Dislikes
The whole blue Socialistic crew....
I wish he'd keep
Still, that cop,
I want to go to sleep...
Why does he keep
Flop, flop, flop!
With his big feet
Along the street?
Why can't he stop?...
His Socialistic feet....
Why don't he change his beat?...
Of all the rows I ever heard
Upon my word!
When you stop to think of it
A bit,
This Socialistic business is absurd!
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Democratic chairman doesn't need to be a household name. Most people didn't know who Ron Brown was when he was chairman of the Democratic Party, but he put the party in a position where Bill Clinton could come in and he had a solid base to run from.
quote by Susan Estrich
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Premier and the Socialist
The Premier and the Socialist
Were walking through the State:
They wept to see the Savings Bank
Such funds accumulate.
"If these were only cleared away,"
They said, "it would be great."
"If three financial amateurs
Controlled them for a year,
Do you suppose," the Premier said,
"That they would get them clear?"
"I think so," said the Socialist;
"They would -- or very near!"
"If we should try to raise some cash
On assets of our own,
Do you suppose," the Premier said,
"That we could float a loan?"
"I doubt it," said the Socialist,
And groaned a doleful groan.
"Oh, Savings, come and walk with us!"
The Premier did entreat;
"A little walk, a little talk,
Away from Barrack Street;
My Socialistic friend will guide
Your inexperienced feet."
"We do not think," the Savings said,
"A socialistic crank,
Although he chance just now to hold
A legislative rank,
Can teach experienced Banking men
The way to run a Bank."
The Premier and the Socialist
They passed an Act or so
To take the little Savings out
And let them have a blow.
"We'll teach the Banks," the Premier said,
"The way to run the show.
"There's Tom Waddell -- in Bank finance
Can show them what is what.
I used to prove not long ago
His Estimates were rot.
But that -- like many other things --
I've recently forgot.
"Advances on a dried-out farm
Are what we chiefly need,
And loaned to friends of Ms.L.A.
Are very good, indeed,
See how the back-block Cockatoos
Are rolling up to feed."
"But not on us," the Savings cried,
Falling a little flat,
"We didn't think a man like you
Would do a thing like that;
For most of us are very small,
And none of us are fat."
"This haughty tone," the Premier said,
"Is not the proper line;
Before I'd be dictated to
My billet I'd resign!"
"How brightly," said the Socialist,
"Those little sovereigns shine."
The Premier and the Socialist
They had their bit of fun;
They tried to call the Savings back
But answer came there none,
Because the back-block Cockatoos
Had eaten every one.
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
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Sestina Otiosa
Our great work, the Otia Merseiana,
Edited by learned Mister Sampson,
And supported by Professor Woodward,
Is financed by numerous Bogus Meetings
Hastily convened by Kuno Meyer
To impose upon the Man of Business.
All in vain! The accomplished Man of Business
Disapproves of Otia Merseiana,
Turns his back on Doctor Kuno Meyer;
Cannot be enticed by Mister Sampson,
To be present at the Bogus Meetings,
Though attended by Professor Woodward.
Little cares the staid Professor Woodward:
He, being something of a man of business,
Knows that not a hundred Bogus Meetings
To discuss the Otia Merseiana
Can involve himself and Mister Sampson
In the debts of Doctor Kuno Meyer.
So the poor deluded Kuno Meyer,
Unenlightened by Professor Woodward --
Whom, upon the word of Mister Sampson,
He believes to be a man of business
Fit to run the Otia Merseiana --
Keeps on calling endless Bogus Meetings.
Every week has now its Bogus Meetings,
Punctually convened by Kuno Meyer
In the name of Otia Merseiana:
Every other week Professor Woodward
Takes his place, and, as a man of business,
Audits the accounts with Mister Sampson.
He and impecunious Mister Sampson
Are the mainstay of the Bogus Meetings;
But the alienated Man of Business
Cannot be allured by Kuno Meyer
To attend and meet Professor Woodward,
Glory of the Otia Merseiana.
Kuno Meyer! Great Professor Woodward!
Bogus Meetings damn, for men of business,
Mister Sampson's Otia Merseiana.
poem by Sir Walter Raleigh
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No More Mr. Nice Guy
I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
'Til they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I got no friends 'cause they read the papers
They can't be seen with me
And I'm gettin' shot down
And I'm feeling mean
No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene
My dog bit me on the leg today
My cat clawed my eye
My mom's been thrown out of the society circle
My dad's had to hide
I went to church incognito
And everybody rose, the reverend Smith
He recognized me
Punched me in the nose
No more Mister nice guy
No more Mister clean
No more Mister nice guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene
song performed by by Megadeth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Especially for my father it was a great change. He used to be a socialist and even a member of the socialist party. But then he became an orthodox Jew.
quote by Leon Askin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. Me
Once a boy named mister me bemoaned a great regret
I've floundered in the misty sea, but can't abide its mystery
I wound up sad, you bet
So onward go and edward ho into the bounding main
Enjoy the show look out below but mind the misty sea
Or end up sad like mister me
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
So take the hand of mister me and mister, make him glad
To swim the mister misty sea and cease the mister mystery
That mister, made him sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
He ended up sad
He ended up sad
He ended up really, really, really sad
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mister Moon And Mister Sun
Time goes so fast today. Don't blink she'll go away. Don't
close your eyes. Not for one moment. You feel so good right
now. You have to stay somehow. Don't let it slip. Let time
stay frozen.
She needs you. You need her. Just like the sun. Don't think
that it's over. It's just begun.
Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our song has only just
begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon. Don't let these
minutes go too soon.
If wishes were for free. My only hope would be. To stop the
clock. Let's keep this moment. I guess that's just a dream.
As hollow as your own moon beam. So let us revel in our
time.
She needs you. You need her. Just like the sun. It never is
over. Once it's begun.
Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our life has only just
begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon. Don't let this
moment go too soon.
Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our life has only just
begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon. Don't let this
moment go too soon. Oh Mister Moon and Mister Sun. Our
song has only just begun. Oh Mister Sun and Mister Moon.
Don't let these minutes go too soon
song performed by by Human League
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Capital is a result of labor, and is used by labor to assist it in further production. Labor is the active and initial force, and labor is therefore the employer of capital.
quote by Henry George
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mister Moon & Mister Sun
Time goes so fast today. dont blink shell go away. dont
Close your eyes. not for one moment. you feel so good right
Now. you have to stay somehow. dont let it slip. let time
Stay frozen.
She needs you. you need her. just like the sun. dont think
That its over. its just begun.
Oh mister moon and mister sun. our song has only just
Begun. oh mister sun and mister moon. dont let these
Minutes go too soon.
If wishes were for free. my only hope would be. to stop the
Clock. lets keep this moment. I guess thats just a dream.
As hollow as your own moon beam. so let us revel in our
Time.
She needs you. you need her. just like the sun. it never is
Over. once its begun.
Oh mister moon and mister sun. our life has only just
Begun. oh mister sun and mister moon. dont let this
Moment go too soon.
Oh mister moon and mister sun. our life has only just
Begun. oh mister sun and mister moon. dont let this
Moment go too soon. oh mister moon and mister sun. our
Song has only just begun. oh mister sun and mister moon.
Dont let these minutes go too soon.
song performed by by Human League
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Labor is prior to, and independent of, capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration.
quote by Abraham Lincoln
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One of the great joys this year and the year before has been how all of the people in this body, men and women, Republicans and Democrats, have worked together so well with our chairman and the chairman of the full committee to address the issues of housing for our soldiers.
quote by Robin Hayes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mr. Banker
(ronnie vanzant -- gary rossington)
Mister banker
Mister please, how much does money mean
Won't you reconsider mister
Won't you do this thing for me
Ain't got no house
Ain't got no car
All i got, lord, is my guitar
But you can have that mister banker
Won't you bury my papa for me
Oh mister banker please
Listen to how that sound
I would not be here on my knees
But hey mister banker
It means so much to me
Oh won't you reconsider mister
Won't you do this thing for me
I told you mister
I ain't got no house
Ain't got no car
I got me a 1950 les paul guitar
Won't you take it mister banker
Won't you bury my papa for me
Oh mister banker please
song performed by by Lynyrd Skynyrd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Hymn
Lord, Who, from Thy high position,
See'th the humble politician,
Knoweth all his secret schemes,
Readeth all his inmost dreams,
Hearken, Lord, unto our pleading;
Mark Thou how our hearts are bleeding,
Bleeding for our country's woes,
Caused by our unrighteous foes.
Lord, behold Thy chosen pleading!
Lend Thine aid to frame our laws.
Turn Thou not away unheeding,
Lord, assist the
[Labor]
[Lib'ral]
[Tory]
[Freetra de]
[Dead-fish]
cause.
See our enemies around us,
Seeking ever to confound us,
Seeking in their wickedness
E'er to compass our distress.
With the powers of darkness scheming,
And our Sacred Cause blaspheming.
Lord, let not their works abide.
For we know Thou'rt on our side.
We, the saviours of our nation,
Supplicate on bended knee.
Lord, our trust and consolation
Are in
[Deakin]
[Fisher,]
[Jokook,]
[Forr est,]
[Bill Lyne]
and in Thee.
Lo, as righteous men, we've striven;
But our works are rent and riven
Through our foes' iniquities.
Lord, rebuke our enemies.
Let them be ashamed who doubt us
That they speak vain things about us.
Harken, Lord: bind fast their jaws!
That they may not plead their cause.
Lord, give ear unto our wailing!
Hearken to our prayer devout,
That, our policy prevailing,
We may throw
[the Land-tax]
[Defence bills]
[The Dreadnought]
[Dalgety]
[Protection out.
Lord, who knoweth politicians,
All their longings and ambitions,
All the secrets of their souls,
O, assist us at the polls.
When we strive in the elections
Hide our many imperfections;
But let searching light expose
All the errors of our foes.
Lord, we work by Thy direction,
And we know Thou will assist
The Holy Cause, at next election,
Of the
[Anti-Socialist,]
[Anti-Protectioni st],
[Lib'ral-Fusionist],
[Labor-socialist] ,
[Land Monopolist.]
As it was in the beginning
It is now
And ever shall be (until we have Elective Ministries)
Dissension, bickering, and waste of time without end.
A-hmen.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mr. Big Man
I remember when you started out,
You were the best friend i ever knew.
I tried to meet you when you had your success,
But you had better things to do.
Now i bet that you're losin' count
Of the people that you used.
But now we're gonna see the vicious side of you,
Mister big.
You've got the say and the power.
Your minions grovel and cower.
But i see you, and i see me.
But you're the big man now.
You got it, mister big.
Your followers kiss your hand,
And your slaves all at your feet.
Your minions serve your beck and call,
But they don't compensate at all,
'cause inside, mister big's very small.
When you were poor and knockin' at the door,
You were really lots of fun.
But now you're hot and you're sittin' on the top;
You've got no time for anyone.
You schemed and connived.
You pushed and you lied,
Till you at last became a star.
But now we're gonna see the way you really are,
Mister big.
Now your vict'ry is complete
And your battles are all won.
Your enemies and foes are all stacked up in rows,
Eliminated one by one.
You got it, mister big.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Sister And A Tall Mister
I once had a little sister
Who went about with a tall mister
She won't listen to mother and I
Just because she wasn't nine
My little sister's name was Ruth
And she feels I'm such a brute
Just because I said No
To a mam she feels she knows
The tall mister wasn't so bad
But in fits of anger he could be mad
And that my little sister don't want to hear
Feeling all that she could bear
So my mother and I took a decision
To allow my sister to take an action
Afterall she is a lady
And old enough to have a baby
After about a year of marriage
I had a call from my brother-in-law
He's been a bloody savage
And has since been caught up by law
When you are late
Then its finally late
Cos by then she was gone
After she was killed with a gun
when I think about my little sister
And the brute tall mister
I always feel pain
Of which there is no gain
(To all those who lost there close relatives to in-Laws)
poem by Tobi Awodunmila
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Most people don't know who Ken Mehlman is. He's the chairman of the Republican Party, obviously, but what he's doing that Howard Dean isn't doing is spending a lot of time on the nuts and bolts of putting the party together.
quote by Susan Estrich
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ditty Wah Ditty
(arthur blake)
Theres a great big mistery
And it sure is worrying me
Its a ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
I went out and walked around
Somebody yelled, now whos in town ?
Mister ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
Some little girl bout four-feet-four
Said, come on, papa, and gimme some mo
Your ditty wah ditty
Your ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
I went to church, put my hat on the seat
A lady sat on it and said, daddy you sho is sweet
Mister ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
I said, sister, Ill soon be gone
Just give me that thing that youre sitting on
My ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
Then I got put outta the church
cause I talked about ditty wah ditty too much
Mister ditty wah ditty
Mister ditty wah ditty
I wished somebody would tell me what ditty wah ditty means
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Big Meeting at the Corporate Office
When a young woman like that
sails into the conference room,
all masts billowing,
there's nothing the men
around the table can do
except take a breath
and wait for her
to settle in her chair,
open her laptop
and fuss for a moment
with some errant hair
before she fixes her stare
on the podium to wait
for the chairman to arrive
and take it from there
if he possibly can.
The chairman won't know
the young woman has said
everything his men
will remember tomorrow
without saying a word.
poem by Donal Mahoney
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Kidding
A figure dressed in the finest attire
That money can buy
Laiden with assets to make an impression
On a strangers eye
And he lives in a palace
Surrounded by roses in a perfect picture
Hes in deep with the shallow
Hes fading cause he cant see the sky
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing, yeah
Nobody, youre kidding nobody
Nobody but you
A dinner with twenty people you hate
And theyre hating you more
Talking politely, its all a show
Tell me what is it for?
And your laugh is tale-telling
They follow but you know youre not a funny man
The truth is the meaning
And your life is that you wouldnt have one
If you were poor
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing, yeah
Nobody, youre kidding nobody
Nobody but you
Yeah. . .
Such a shame, sir
Such a shame
Such a shame
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything, yeah
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing, yeah
Nobody, nobody, nobody, nobody
Nobody but yourself x5
Nobody. . .
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you everything
Who are you kidding mister?
I can give you anything
Who are you kidding mister?
Im so happy that I could sing
Nobody, kidding nobody
Nobody but you
Nobody, kidding nobody
Nobody but you
Nobody, youre kidding nobody
Nobody but you
song performed by by Imogen Heap
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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