The Liberal Constitution
Jack Sprat would eat no fat,
His wife would eat no lean,
And so, betwixt them both, you see,
They licked the platter clean.
Old nursery rhyme
Gentlemen, I'd like to mention, with your very kind attention,
One important point I wish you all to know;
We've a policy extensive and extremely comprehensive -
Me an' Joe.
As a fact, 'tis all-embracing, just to put the matter flat;
Therefore, where's the need to mention that we favor 'this' or 'that'?
Quite unlike the other party, we're so vigorous and hearty,
We can thrive on any diet, high or low.
And, if you decide to follow us, just notice what we swallow
Me an' Joe.
It is hardly worth while mentioning what Joseph can't digest,
And, when he has picked his dishes, I, with ease, absorb the rest.
While other folks are musing o'er the menu, picking, choosing,
In a fashion most fastidious and slow,
At embracing or surrounding - all the meal we are astounding
Me an' Joe.
As an economic method it admits no ifs or buts;
For we clean up all the courses from the oysters to the nuts.
Legislative indigestion in regard to any question
Marks the party whose vitality is low;
Weaklings in the estimation of that sturdy combination,
Me an' Joe.
For the food that is politically poisonous to me
Joe takes with relish, while - well, vice versa don't you see.
I can take, with little trouble, foods political that double
Joseph up, upon the floor, in direst woe;
But they all declare, who've seen us, we're omnivorous between us
Me an' Joe.
Joseph's fond of food imported with a dash of Tory sauce;
I love fare more democratic and Australian grown, of course.
Thus, observe, in fiscal matters we contrive to clean the platters.
'Tis surprising how we make the viands go!
With our dual constitution we can do great execution
Me an' Joe.
And the others of our party have such varied appetites
That there's really very little left to feed the cat o' nights.
For, the others at the table, watching us, are quickly able
To elect the food they fancy most - although
Some they find it hard to swallow in their brave attempts to follow
Me an' Joe.
Then a little Argus Syrup or some 'Mother 'Eralds Pills'
Are most useful in averting any gastronomic ills.
Gentlemen, 'twould only weary you to state in manner dreary,
That we favor 'this,' or 'that,' or 'so-and-so,'
When, as you well know who've seen us, we can scoff the lot between us
Me an' Joe.
And I warn you to be careful of that legislative group
Which has appetite for nothing but mere Democratic soup.
Such dyspeptic politicians are not fit for their positions;
They are weak and puny creatures: let them go;
And, whatever you adhere to, you can bet your cause is dear to
Me - or Joe.
For our iron constitution is a thing to marvel at,
And, when we 'ave dined, as I have said, there's little for the cat.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
It is work and personal worth which make a State great both politically and industrially, and in my estimation they are to be found in largest proportions in the Democratic party.
quote by Franklin Knight Lane
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jack Sprat
Jack Sprat
Could eat no fat,
His wife could eat no lean;
And so betwixt them both,
They lick'd the platter clean.
poem by Anonymous English
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Syrup Sponge
Pour a pint of cream
Upon my spongy bulge!
Scoop me with a
Hefty spoon;
Taste my essence -
Do you swoon?
Feed your self-esteem; indulge
In me until you burst -
Death by syrup sponge - you're cursed!
And as the count in inches gain
Upon your weary waist, the strain
Will tell, but you'll not care -
Steeped in sponge, you're unaware!
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food
food food food food food food
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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People don't realize that they're being played by the Democratic Party and the Republican Party, but more so by the Democratic Party because the Democratic Party does not want another party in there.
quote by Glenn Danzig
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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And...Your Point Is, What?
The party is over, folks!
Now I seek volunteers,
To help me clean.
Excuse me.
Before everyone decides to leave...
I am desperately in need of volunteers,
To help me clean.
Is this microphone on?
People are leaving as if they don't hear me.
'It's not that you are not being heard.
The people invited came to party.
To eat, drink and be pleasantly obnoxious.
Not to roll up their sleeves to work.
Did you expect that kind of respect?
They came to trash not to flirt with work.
Those people are 'beyond' that.
Didn't you see many of them giving you smirks? '
But I threw the party!
'And...
Your point is,
What? '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Overweight with Food
Are you just a tub of lard and
Vastly overweight?
Do you think that when you die you'll
Need a piano crate
To act as coffin for your frame? -
Chosen as you die in shame, with
Only you to take the blame
For years of eating much the same:
A daily calorific fest
Gourmands of your ilk digest!
Is your heart in final fling and
Nearly set to burst?
Are your arteries bunged and clogged and
Feeling now the worst
For wear? - your aneurysm fit to blow
While blood as thick as rising dough
Cries 'Halt! ' to any hope of flow:
A dreadful state to put on show
In front of any nurse!
Best you hail a hearse.
Copyright Mark R Slaughter 2009
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
Oh! Food food food food food food food foooooood!
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Salad is Incompatible with Life
Yes, my waist is fifty inches -
Big for me because I'm short.
And yes, I like my cheddar cheese
When partnered with a vintage port.
Okay, okay, that double cream
Is always served with pud,
And cake and biscuits with my tea
Are just no bloody good
For my poor hardened arteries,
But see my point of view,
Please dear wifey if you please,
A Salad makes me spew!
I'd rather eat a bowl of air
Than crunch away on greens;
Drink water from the toilet bowl
Or nibble on my jeans!
But salad! Are you there?
You know it makes me snappy -
So let me fill my face with grub,
Stay fat, and die young happy!
Copyright Mark R Slaughter 2009
food food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food food
food food food food food food food food food
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Where's The Party
Where's the party (party, party)
Where's the party (party, party)
Show me the way, show me the way
It's like a holiday
That happens everyday
I get to celebrate
No matter what you say
When I get real bored
I want something more
I never lose my head
Cause I know the score
Show me the way
Show me the way
C'mon, show me the way
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Party all night 'til I can't go on
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Show me the way, show me the way
One thing I know
Is when I feel low
I never have to worry
Got a place to party
no one's getting mean
It's so obscene
No matter what goes down
I just get what I need
Show me the way
Show me the way
C'mon, show me the way
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Party all night 'til I can't go on
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Show me the way, show me the way
Where's the party, where's the party
party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party
p-p-p-party
Show me the way
Show me the way
C'mon, show me the way
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Party all night 'til I can't go on
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Show me the way, show me the way
Show me the way, if you show me the way
C'mon show me the way
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Party all night 'til I can't go on
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Show me the way, show me the way
Where's the party, where's the party
Where's the party, where's the party
Show me the way
Show me the way
song performed by by Vitamin C
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Democracy is a political method, that is to say, a certain type of institutional arrangement for arriving at political - legislative and administrative - decisions and hence incapable of being an end in itself.
quote by Joseph A. Schumpeter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My life right now is, I wouldn't say reduced to food, but my duties in life are that I wake up, cook breakfast, clean the dishes, prepare lunch, clean those dishes, go to the market, get fresh produce, cook dinner, clean those dishes and then sleep if I can. And I love it. I actually adore it.
quote by Heath Ledger
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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The Apologist
Dear friends, I'm Deakin....
No; no mistake,
You're wide awake.
It's ALF that's speakin'...
I wish to make
A few remarks about - Eh? What,
O, no; I'm not
The least bit changed.
It's been arranged -
You understand?
Between these gentlemen and me.
We fused, you see,
For the - er - welfare of the land....
Come, gentlemen! I do insist
I am the same!
I'm DEAKIN, the Protectionist.
And I declare I'm not to blame.
There never has been any change in me.
It's all arranged.... We fused, you see.
No harm to fuse.
And I am certain you'll excuse
Us all, when once you fairly grasp the fact
That this arrangement is a patriot's act.
'Twas neither somersault nor slip;
'Twas statesmanship....
Yes, yes. Joe Cook
And others took
A pledge.
As I allege,
Henceforth to vote Protection to a man....
Well, yes; they ran
Freetrade - some years ago;
But they won't advocate it now. Oh, no!...
I say again I've not changed in the least.
I leave that all to them.
Their love for the - er - tariff has increased.
Ahem!....
What? Wobblers? Nay!
Ah, do not blame them, pray!
These gentlemen are neither false nor weak;
But my good friends.
And they will make amends.
A light has broken on them, so to speak.
They're all - er - fiscal converts as it were....
Now, my dear sir!
If you will interject
Time and again,
How can the audience expect
Me to explain?...
I tell you I've NOT changed!
It's ALL ARRANGED!
Why, ever since I've been in politics
I've always advocated the - um - er ...
What nonsense! Sir!!
Tricks!
ME!!!
I challenge you to prove my policy
Has ever been... Well, yes,
Yes, I confess
I used to call them names. But, don't you see,
That is a thing of ancient history....
I tell you it has now all been arranged!
And I've not changed!...
O, well, well, I admit
I did abuse them - just a little bit.
'The wreckage of all parties' - That was it.
'Black Labor party' - yes, and 'Tories,' too.
I said that; true.
But can't you see? I ask you, please, to try.
They've changed, not I.
They've had a wash;
They've all been made
Whiter than snow ( I'm sure you understand):
And henceforth Anti-Sosh,
And not Freetrade,
Will be their party brand.
But, to return to my....Eh? Who's that speakin'?
I tell you I am Deakin!
Who dares to say I'm not?
I am the same brave, whole-souled patriot!
Iam! I AM!
if you will interject... O, d--!....
Er - gentlemen...I'd have you understand
We are a band
Of staunch Protectionists. If it appears
A trifle strange
That, after all these years,
These gentlemen should change,
I ask you, gentlemen, to please excuse
The Fuse.
You comprehend? I wave my magic wand,
And they respond
By bowing meekly to my fiscal creed.
Nay, nay! No Greed
For Office caused this unaccustomed sight.
'Twas...Country-love and - er - a Sudden Light.
These friends of mine have all come into line,
And, after this, their fiscal faith is mine -
That is...I mean to say
That mine is theirs until the Judgement Day.
I trust, good people, I have made it plain....
No, no; my friends will never change again....
I tell you, with my hand upon my heart,
They would no more trick me than, for my part, I'd ever do
So false an act, or think of tricking...you.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Appeal and Honest Promises
It can't be imported from outside
It is serious matter for us to decide
It is matter of honor and pride
How long we may shy off and hide?
Why some one should approach you?
Why do they need to lecture you to be true?
Have we no responsibility to think of nation?
When three quarter of the population remains on government ration?
Why must it rot in open go down?
Why some of grains fall in private hands to own?
What matters most when farmers commit suicide?
We have not woken up yet ignore how to discuss and confide?
You may amass millions out of our hunger
Yet we may express no anger
Because we live under democratic system
Our hands fall short to catch them
So far you were raising slogans against foreign rule
Now you have your own system and people
No threat from inside or from any quarter
Yet you nothing to think and more to barter
Who corrupts system for own benefit and later on prevail?
Who comes clean out of it and avail?
The spoil is shared by all our learned brethrens
Yet we keep quiet and don't bother or express concern
'People may accept or reject' when we go for election
They may know well about our intention and action
Politicians may shout from the roof top
Who else than us can dare and try to stop?
So we, the people of sovereign state, must decide and declare
Will never allow any one who is likely to subverts our interest and dare
Let democracy thrive under the watchful eyes of people
It is not right approach to underestimate the struggle
We may have set rules and guiding principles
We may have protection under constitution rules
Yet intentional injury to sentiment is punishable by natural justice
Where no hollow words but rules the appeal and honest promises
poem by Hasmukh Amathalal
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The Democratic Party is the party that opened its arms. We opened them to every nationality, every creed. We opened them to the immigrants. The Democratic Party is the party of the people.
quote by Richard J. Daley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Bridge Across the Crick
Joseph Jones and Peter Dawking
Strove in an election fight;
And you'd think, to hear them talking,
Each upheld the people's right.
Each declared he stood for Progress and against his country's foes
When he sought their votes at Wombat, where the Muddy River flows.
Peter Dawking, scorning party,
As an Independent ran;
Joseph Jones, loud, blatant, hearty,
Was a solid party man.
But the electors up at Wombat vowed to him alone they'd stick
Who would give his sacred promise for the 'bridge across the crick'.
Bland, unfaithful politicians
Long had said this bridge should be.
Some soared on to high positions,
Some sank to obscurity;
Still the bridge had been denied it by its unrelenting foes -
By the foes of patient Wombat, where the Muddy River flows.
Up at Wombat Peter Dawking
Held a meeting in the hall,
And he'd spent an hour in talking
On the far-flung Empire's Call,
When a local greybeard, rising, smote him with this verbal brick:
'Are or are yeh not in favour of the bridge across the crick?'
Peter just ignored the question,
Proudly patriotic man;
Understand a mean suggestion
Men like Peter never can,
Or that free enlightened voters look on all Great Things as rot,
While a Burning Local Question fires each local patriot.
Joseph Jones, serene and smiling,
Took all Wombat to his heart.
'Ah,' he said, his 'blood was b'iling'
He declared it 'made him smart'
To reflect how they'd been swindled; and he cried in ringing tones
'Gentlemen, your bridge is certain if you cast your votes for Jones!'
Joseph Jones and Peter Dawking
Strove in an election fight,
And, when they had finished talking,
On the great election night
They stood level in the voting, and the hope of friends and foes
Hung upon the box from Wombat, where the Muddy River flows.
Then the Wombat votes were counted;
Jones, two hundred; Dawking, three!
Joseph, proud and smiling, mounted
On a public balcony,
And his friends were shrill with triumph, for that contest, shrewdly run,
In the House gave Jones's Party a majority of one.
Jones's Party - note the sequel
Rules that country of the Free,
And the fight, so nearly equal,
Swayed the whole land's destiny.
And the Big Things of the Nation are delayed till Hope grows sick
Offered up as sacrifices to 'the bridge across the crick'.
Dawking now is sadly fearing
For the crowd's intelligence.
Joseph, skilled in engineering,
Full of pomp and sly pretence,
Still holds out the pleasing promise of that bridge whene'er he goes
Up to Wombat, patient Wombat, where the Muddy River flows.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Thigh Way (Song Parody of 'My Way')
to the tune of 'MY Way'
And now, my weigh-ins near
and my poor scale faces destruction
I've cheated, had some LITE beers
then gotten quotes for liposuction
I've eaten way past full
and then had one more for the highway
I've gotten old, I've gotten fat
don't diet my way!
Bagettes, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention
I love my salty snacks
but that's what gave me hypertension
I planned each 3 course meal
at greasy spoons along the highway
Ive gotten old
I've gotten fat
don't diet my way
Yes there were times when I was blue
Ice cream in quarts, I would go through
but through it all, despite the gout
I'd eat it in, or take it out
I ate it all, - and I'm not tall
don't diet my way
I've lunched, I've wined and dined
I've had my failed attempts at losing
but now my jeans just split
and it no longer seems amusing.
To think I ate it all
and may I say not in a shy way
I've gotten old, I've gotten fat
don't diet my way
For what is a meal without cake for desert
and JOGGING IS DANGEROUS - a guy could get hurt
I ate the foods I truly craved
and never once was fashion's slave
The weight-in shows, I need new clothes
don't diet my way!
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nothing Is Allowed To Change
No propositions, referendums or judicial reviews,
Never allowed plebiscites so we never get much to choose,
Therefore less than half Canadians even bother to vote,
And our politicians tend to think this is great, as they gloat.
If politicians refuse to see problems; there’s no need to fix,
They are locked into their secret party agenda and tricks,
It is not politically correct to mention any change,
No recall or referendums will ever be arranged.
And how dare you even think outside the box,
Ideas like that might cause a political party shock,
And if you keep that up they may even close down the Internet,
Less than half Canadians vote so no one can torment.
Jan 31st,2011
poem by James Bredin
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Arabs Please Pay Heed Feb 24th,2011
The Arabs have a choice: accept the next dictator or change,
Usually a general from the army, who then becomes deranged,
No matter who he/she is, they should be there no more than four years,
Because after that they go power mad or so it appears.
Someone has to sit down and write a constitution for all,
Go to Switzerland, read their’s because they are on the ball,
You have to elect a president by name – not party or rank,
And not someone standing on top of a big orange army tank.
Then put the constitution to the people for a yes or no,
Your first referendum with luck and several more to go,
Getting rid of a dictator is one but starting up is two,
You follow my instructions though everything is new.
FEB 24TH,2011
poem by James Bredin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Maid
After a decade
Of housekeeping
When housework
Seemed like
Clock-work
Never-ending
The more you
Clean
The more
It piles up
For
Another
Clean…
I finally have a
Maid
Who helps me
Every week.
A luxury
I couldn't
Afford
In the past
Years
As the
Cost of
Living
In the UK
Is so high.
Now,
That she
Takes care
Of my
Home
And I
Pay her
Well -
For all the
Cleaning…
I should
Feel happy,
Shouldn't I?
I have more
Time…
For myself
And my
Family.
But why
Do I
Feel so
Guilty?
The Work
I didn't
Like doing
She does it
All for the
Money
She needs
To feed
Her family
Of four
Children.
The mother
In me
Doesn't
Quite
Relish
Seeing
This -
Another
Mother
Work
So hard
And do
Odd jobs
Such as
Cleaning
People's
Toilets
And baths.
We find it
So uneasy
To clean
Our own.
Money
Makes
A slave of you
You like it
Or not,
To feed
Four
Hungry
Bellies,
You have to
Clean
Other people's
Homes.
The Question
Remains:
Should I be
Feeling
Happy
About
Giving her
Employment
And giving
Myself
Some respite
From the
Daily
Drudgery
Of house-keeping?
Or should I be
Feeling uneasy
About the fact
That she's also
A woman like me
A mother like me
A human like me
Yet she works
So hard for
Money…
The kind of jobs
I would abhor
To do…
She does it
With a smile
To keep her
Employers
Happy…
As she knows
If she
Loses her
Job, her
Children
Will be so
Unhappy.
(Poem themed on Dilemma)
poem by Aparna Chatterjee
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Eatin Food
eatin food
eatin food
eatinf food
eatin food to swallow sadnees
eatin food to make happienes
eatin food to satisfy
eatin food instead of gettin high
eatin food to be eatin food
and thats why im eatin food.
poem by Pablo Sanchez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Gentlemen!
Gentlemen! a politician,
One who values his position,
Stands, with easy confidence,
Here before you on the fence.
For he knows full well, good friends,
All your aims and all your ends;
And that these you may attain
He will strive with might and main.
Gentlemen! my sole ambition
Is to see that your condition
Shall continue to improve;
Wherefore I shall shortly move
For a special grant to buy
Extra bedding for your sty
Force it from the Government
For the folk I represent.
Gentlemen! You crave nutrition;
And I hold my high position
By your will and by your votes.
Pollard you shall have, and oats!
And I know you'll vote for me
In elections yet to be,
While I cater for your needs,
Promising yet further feeds.
Gentlemen! The Opposition,
By its frequent repetition
Of base lies would have you think
They'd increase your food and drink.
Friends, their secret aim, I know,
Is to cut your rations low,
And, while they but sneer and scoff,
It is we who fill your trough!
Gentlemen! This talk of 'Nation'
Is a vile abomination!
You are asked to sacrifice
Food and swill, and pay a price
For a shibboleth like that!
You are asked to give your fat
That your children, by-and-bye,
May possess a better sty!
Gentlemen! The aspiration
To build up a mighty nation
Is a question far too big
For an ordinary pig.
Truly, we don't care a damn,
When we're bacon, pork or ham,
What the fate of pigs may be.
Let 'em root the same as we!
Gentlemen! This tortured question
Gives you mental indigestion.
Such vague things you do not heed.
Food in plenty is your need.
In my place in Parliament
It is you I represent;
And I'll face all vile affronts
For your sakes! (Delighted grunts.)
Gentlemen! The proposition
For the honest politician
Is: 'Can I secure more oats
For the folk who give me votes?
Can I fill their troughs, and give
Mush to them, that I may live?'
To that end he should employ
All his art. (Loud squeals of joy.)
Gentlemen! A politician
With my knowledge and position
Knows full well that such as you
Take the plain, right-thinking view;
For himself each fatted pig,
And for all the rest - a fig!
Gentlemen, I greet your ranks,
And accept your grunt of thanks.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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