Paw
Haw!
Ai've just obteened a pension for mai Paw.
And you should hev seen the people that were theah.
Re-ally, it was surpraising!
Maind, Ai am not criticaising,
But it was embarrassing, Ai do decleah.
Ai met the Snobson-Smythes and Toady-Browns, and many moah
Belonging to ouah set; and wondahed what they came theah foah.
And, of course, Ai didn't say a word of Paw.
Ai rather think they've nevah heard of Paw.
But Ai thought it well to mention
That Ai came to get the pension
For an aged person who had worked for Maw.
The Snobson-Smythes said, 'Fancy! That is just why we came dahn.'
But Ai've heard they hev a mothah hidden somewheah out of tahn.
Haw!
Ai do deserve some gratitude from Paw.
To think what Ai've gone thro' foah him to-day!
Mixing with the lowah classes-
And Ai never saw such masses
Of disreputable creatuahs, Ai must say.
Imposters, Ai've no doubt, if most of them were but unmasked.
And then, the most humiliating questions Ai was asked!
Yes, he forced me to admit it was foah Paw.
Asked me, brutally, if it was foah mai Paw.
Some low-bred official fellow,
Who conversed in quaite a bellow,
And he patronised me laike a high Bashaw.
And his questions, rudely personal, Ai hardly could enduah.
The Government should teach its people mannahs, Ai am suah!
Haw!
Ai'm glad we've got the pension foah Pooah Paw.
His maintenance has been - O, such a strain.
Ouah establishment's extensive
And exceedingly expensive,
As mai husband has remawked taime and again.
It's quaite a miracle how Ai contrive to dress at all.
He cut me dahn to twenty guineas for last Mayoral Ball!
And it's such a boah to hev to think of Paw
To hev a secret skeleton laike Paw.
Paw, you know, was once a diggah,
And he cuts no social figgah.
And his mannahs! O, they touch us on the raw.
Of course, we're very fond of him, and all thet sort of thing;
But we couldn't hev him - could we? - when theah's naice folk visiting.
Haw!
It's cost us pawnds and pawnds to care foah Paw.
And then, it is so hard to keep him dawk.
Why, no later then last Mond'y,
Ai was out with Lady Grundy,
When we ran raight into him outsaide the Pawk.
Goodness knows! Ai managed, somehow, to elude him with a nod,
And Ai said he was a tradesman; but she must hev thought it odd.
You can't picture the ubiquity of Paw,
And he's really very obstinate, is Paw.
Why, he held to the contention
That this most convenient pension
Was a thing he hadn't any raight to draw!
He said we'd kept him eighteen months, and ought to keep him yet.
But mai husband soon convinced him that he couldn't count on thet.
Haw!
He was a pioneah, you know, mai Paw.
But of mai early laife Ai never tell.
Paw worked, as Ai hev stated;
And he had us educated;
And, later on, Ai married rather well.
And then, you know, deah Paw became - er - well, embarrassing.
For he is so unconventional and - all thet sort of thing.
But the Government has taken ovah Paw.
We are happy now we've aisolated Paw.
And a bettah era's dawning,
For mai husband said this mawning
Thet the money saved would buy a motah-caw.
Paw was so good to us when we were young, that, you'll allow,
It's really taime the Government did something foah him now.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
A Warning to Ladies
Deah Ladies,
Let me wawn you, theah are feahful taimes to come,
And a mos' ter-ific strugge is at hand;
And we have no taime to speah
If we wish to do ouah sheah
To defend, like Joan of Awk, ouah native land.
Foah a really fraightful monstah is preparing to devouah
All that's uppab-clauss and propah and quaite naice;
And if we should be behaind
In the battle aye shall faind
All ouah priveleges vanish in a traice.
O, it makes me shuddah, ladies, when Ai ventuah to reflect
On the ravages this mongstah contemplates.
He will break up all ouah homes,
And where'er the creatuah roams,
We'll be sundered from ouah lawful Tory mates.
We'll be tawn from ouah poah husbands in a most fe-rocious way,
0, deah ladies, can you realise ouah lot?
For the monstah has his eye
On the Sacred Marriage Tie;
And he'll eat up all the babes we haven't got.
And remembah, deahest ladies, all ouah comfort now depends
On destroying this wild Socialistic beast.
Ouah sassiety diversions
Would be vulgah mob excursions
If we pandered to the monstah in the least.
He is bent on confiscating all the houses, land and wealth
Of ouah husbands, and ouah brothahs, and ouah friends.
He is jealous of his bettahs.
And he calls ouah men-folk sweatahs,
He'll do anything to gain his awful ends.
He's vulgah and unchivalrous this feahful Labah thing.
He is teaching all ouah servants to despise us.
He would drag us to his level,
And he'd send to the - ah - devil
All the luxuries with which his toil supplies us.
He harps upon equality when, as of course you know,
And as all the very naicest people know,
It would simply mean disaster
To imagine ev'ry master
Quaite as ignorant as workers or as 'low.'
0, smaite the Socialistic monstah! Smaite him hard, mai deahs!
0, gathah up youah skirts and join the fray.
Pray, do not shirk the battle, or, with wailing and with teahs,
You'll regret youah negligence on polling day,
We must teach the vulgah working class their raight position here;
We must keep them in their places; we must faight them without fear,
Or there'll be a bittah wail, mai deahs,
If Socialists prevail, mai deahs,
And all 'raight thinking' people and the 'naicest' disappear.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Interloper
The Honourable TORYPHAT addressed the meeting: 'Hem!
(Prolonged applause.) Ah - Mistah Chairman, gentlemen. To stem
The tide of Socialism - rabid Socialism, sir
Which threatens to engulf us, hez - ah - always been - um - er
Hez always been ouah object in the past, and Ai may say,
We hev succeeded, somewhat, in - er - standing in the way.
We hev been firm, sir, in the past, and fought without - ah - feah
Foah the Empiah and the - ah - the uppah classes, sir. (Heah. heah.)
In ouah endeavahs to - um - ah - promote the public good
It hez always been - that is to say - been - ah - been understood.
Bai the people - bai the - um - ha - people, sir, of this - er - land
That we and the Empiah, so to speak, are hand in hand.
The British - er - authorities, at all times, hev been glad
To listen - ah - to any - er - suggestions thet we had.
We hev been the Empiah's mouthplece, in - ah - this benighted land,
And hitherto the Empiah was the - aw - best card in ouah hand.
The word 'Imperial' is, Ai maintain, sir, ouahs bai raight;
It hez been ouah battle-cry in the - ah - forefront of the faight.
And, hitherto, the pahs at Home weah quick to recognise
Ouah undoubted raight to use it in refuting Labah lies.
At Empiah celebrations we hev been the leading ones
In saluting the - aw - flag, sir, and distributing - ah - buns.
And all raight-thinking persons who - ah - who support ouah cause
Will agree that we alone - er - stand for 'Empiah.'.. (Loud applause.)
But now what do we faind, sir? Mistah Chairman, Ai'm dismayed!
It would seem that ouah - ah - trust in the - ah - pahs has been betrayed.
For they hev - aw - confided, with regard to woah and loans,
In this common Labah person named - ah - named - ah - FISAH. (Groans.)
They've actu'ly consulted him and - aw - and made a fuss;
They've told him - er - State secrets, sir, which they withhold from us !
Things that concern ouah Empiah, sir! Ai - (splutter) - Ai PROTEST!
They hev no raight to trust this PEARCE and FISHAH and the rest!
Who is he? Ai repeat, sir - ah - who is this fellow? (Jeers.)
He's gone to see the crowning of ouah gracious Soveriegn. (Cheers.)
But why, sir? Mistah Chairman, Ai repeat the question - Why?
He's gine in the ecapacity of - er - a Labah spy!
He's gone to worm out secrets, sir - State secrets, which he seeks
To use against ouah party, sir, when he returns. (Loud shrieks.)
He hopes to use his knowledge to upset our cherished schemes.
And oust us from ouah office as Empiah's champions! (Screams.)
And, Ai repeat, who is he sir - this meddling FISHAH? (Hoots.)
A minah, sir! (Intense digust.) Not fit to black ouah boots!
A common minah! And foah him the pahs have passed us by!
But Ai defy the pahs, sir! Ai repeat it, Ai defy
The pahs at Home! (Commotion.) Sir! Ai'll not stand such disgrace!
This man will not usurp ouah raights, and drag us from ouah place!
Ai'll lead a revolution, sir! Blood, sir! Ai'll rend to bits,
THE SILKEN BONDS OF EMPIAH, SIR! (Sensation.) DEM IT!!! (Fits.)
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Aunt Evangeline Approves
My Aunt Evangeline has come
To visit Melbourne town,
Garbed for its Glad Centenary
In frill and festal gown.
And Aunties says in mincing tones
As she surveys the scene,
Quaite pretty work. But just one touch
Of Ort, Ai think would help so much.'
Says Aunt Evangeline.
'Now, take those sweet Venetian masts,
Which clowns call 'lolly sticks,'
Some naice ort-muslin maight be used
In colahs that will mix.
Then what they need is pampas grass
Dyed pink and puce and green
To stick in those - ah - funnel things
Such deah, sweet memories it brings,'
Says Aunt Evangeline.
'Crepe papah, swung from pole to pole
Festooned with Christmas
Maight add a touch of tasteful
Mai deah, it's taste that
So on these fraightful buildings,
Paint a pretty watah scene,
With storks and - ah - conv
To please ortistic folk laike us.
Says Aunt Evangeline.
My Aunt Evangeline says, 'H'm!
Theah's something lacking yet
Something appropriate . . . Of course!
Whai how could Ai forget?
Ten thousand aspidistra plants
So graceful when they're green
Along those guttahs in the street
And on those pylons. They'd look sweet!'
Says Aunt Evangeline.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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Ezra on the Strike
Wal, Thanksgivin' do be comin' round.
With the price of turkeys on the bound,
And coal, by gum! Thet were just found,
Is surely gettin' cheaper.
The winds will soon begin to howl,
And winter, in its yearly growl,
Across the medders begin to prowl,
And Jack Frost gettin' deeper.
By shucks! It seems to me,
That you I orter be
Thankful, that our Ted could see
A way to operate it.
I sez to Mandy, sure, sez I,
I'll bet thet air patch o' rye
Thet he'll squash 'em by-and-by,
And he did, by cricket!
No use talkin', he's the man -
One of the best thet ever ran,
Fer didn't I turn Republican
One o' the fust?
I 'lowed as how he'd beat the rest,
But old Si Perkins, he hemmed and guessed,
And sed as how it wuzn't best
To meddle with the trust.
poem by Ezra Pound
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The Martyred Democrat
In Lady Lusher's drawing-room, where float the strains of Brahms,
While cultured caterpillars chew the leaves of potted palms
In Lady Lusher's drawing-room, upon a summer's day,
The democrats of Toorak met to pass an hour away.
They hearkened to a long address by Grabbit, M.L.C.,
While Senator O'Sweatem passed around the cakes and tea;
And all the brains and beauty of the suburb gathered there,
In Lady Lusher's drawing-room - Miss Fibwell in the chair.
(With increasing interest):
Ay, all the fair and brave were there - the fair in fetching hats;
The brave in pale mauve pantaloons and shiny boots, with spats.
But pride of all that gathering, a giant 'mid the rest,
Was Mr Percy Puttipate, in fancy socks and vest.
Despite his bout of brain-fag, plainly showing in his eyes,
Contracted while inventing something new in nobby ties,
He braved the ills and draughts and chills, damp tablecloths and mats,
Of Lady Lusher's drawing-room: this prince of Democrats.
(Resume the breeze):
Upon a silken ottoman sat Willie Dawdlerich,
Who spoke of democratic things to Mabel Bandersnitch.
And likewise there, on couch and chair, with keen, attentive ears,
Sat many sons and daughters of our sturdy pioneers;
Seed of our noble squatter-lords, those democrats of old,
Who held of this fair land of ours as much as each can hold;
Whose motto is, and ever was, despite the traitor's gab:
'Australia for Australians - as much as each can grab.'
(In cultured tones):
'Deah friends,' began Miss Fibwell, 'you - haw - understand ouah league
Is formed to stand against that band of schemers who intrigue -
That horrid band of Socialists who seek to wrest ouah raights,
And, with class legislation, straive to plague ouah days and naights.
They claim to be the workers of the land; but Ai maintain
That, tho' they stand for horny hands, we represent the bwain.
Are not bwain-workers toilers too, who labah without feah?'
(The fashioner of fancy ties: 'Heah, heah! Quaite raight! Heah, heah!')
'They arrogate unto themselves the sacred name of Work.
But still, Ai ask, where is the task that we've been known to shirk?
We're toilahs, ev'ry one of us, altho' they claim we're not.'
(The toiler on the ottoman: 'Bai jove, I've heard thet rot!')
'Moahovah, friends, to serve theah ends, they're straiving, maight and main,
To drag down to theah level folk who work with mind and bwain.
They claim we do not earn ouah share, but, Ai maintain we do!'
(The grafter in the fancy socks: 'The'ah beastly rottahs, too!')
(With rising inflexion):
'Yes, friends, they'll drag us down and down, compelling us to live
Just laike themselves - the selfish class, on what they choose to give.
Nay, moah, they'll make us weah theah clothes - plain working - clothes, forsooth!
Blue dungarees in place of these.' . . . 'Mai Gahd! Is this the trooth?'
(With fine dramatic force):
A gurgling groan; a sick'ning thud; a flash of fancy socks,
And Mr Percy Puttipate fell like a stricken ox.
Crashed down, through cakes and crockery, and lay, 'mid plate and spoon,
In Lady Lusher's drawing-room one summer afternoon.
(With a rush of emotion):
A scream from Mabel Bandersnitch pierced thro' the ev'ning calm
(The cultured grubs, alone unmoved, still chewed the potted palm).
Strong men turned white with sudden fright; girls fell in faint and swoon
In Lady Lusher's drawing-room that fateful afternoon.
(With tears in the voice):
But Puttipate? ... Ah, what of him - that noble Democrat,
As he lay there with glassy stare, upon the Persian mat?
What recks he now for nobby ties, and what for fancy socks,
As he lies prone, with cake and cream smeared on his sunny locks?
(Mournfully):
Good Mr Grabbit took his head, O'Sweatem seized his feet;
They bore him to an ambulance that waited in the street.
Poor Mabel Bandersnitch sobbed loud on Dawdlerich's vest;
A pall of woefell over all - Miss Fibwell and the rest.
A mournful gloom o'erspread the room, as shades of ev'ning fell,
And, one by one, they left the place till none was left to tell
The tale of that dire tragedy that wrecked the summer calm -
Except the apathetic grubs, who went on eating palm.
(Suggestive pause; then, with fresh interest):
There still be men - low common men - who sneer at Toorak's ways,
And e'en upon poor Puttipate bestow but grudging praise.
But when you hear the vulgar sneer of some low Labor bore
(With fine dramatic intensity):
Point to that pallid patriot on Lady Lusher's floor!
Point to that daring Democrat, that hero of Toorak,
Who lifeless lay, that fateful day, upon his noble back!
Point to that hero, stricken down for our great Party's sake,
His sunny locks, his fiery socks o'er-smeared with cream and cake.
(In scathing tones):
Then lash with scorn the base poltoon who sullies his fair fame.
Who, moved by fear, attempts to smear the lustre of that name.
Great Puttipate! The Democrat! Who perished, all too soon,
In Lady Lusher's drawing-room, one summer afternoon.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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All The Bits
All the bits.
No, ya see, ya get, ya get a thing goin like that,
Its uh, uhh...
And then, you put it on the end, ya go
Dahnt-dahn, you know, like that,
At the end of the lyrics,
Dahnt-dahn...
Dahnt-dahn...
Dahnt-dahn, thats nice,
Dahnt-dahn
Dahnt-dahn, that kinda riff, ya see, get it...
Dahnt-dahn...
Dahnt-dahn...
Dahnt-dahn, choke up on it,
Dahnt-dahn
Dahnt-dahn, and well put all the bits in.
Dahnt-dahn
Dahnt-dahn
A-dahnt-dahn
A-dahnt-dahn
A-dahnt-dahn...
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My ex-mother in law
My ex-mother in law
was an unusual person
that could wish others
into death
and when my ex-wife’s
first husband died from cancer
she believed
that the Lord God
answered her prayer
and for me
she also prayed a thousand times
that same prayer
and fasted
and put tears with it
although I didn’t really
deserve it,
but here I am still
and it’s another story.
Her husband
falls down on the golf course
and is dead from a heart attack
and he hits his last ball
away into the bushes
without any control.
At the funeral
I had to help carry the coffin,
wash dishes
and what ever
my mother in law asked.
Father in law
had a small black dog
that went everywhere with him
and smoked pipe
like Van Donck
cannot stoke up on table mountain
and the dog
then also had to die
although it was great in health
and could still live for years.
I had to take mother in law
to the vet
as she couldn’t drive a car
and hold the animal
while he got
a last injection
and dig a grave
in the garden
and put him there.
l’Envoi
Now I wonder
what goes into such a person
that after her husband’s death,
she is finished
with every thing of his
and married
in months again
with somebody
to keep her company?
poem by Gert Strydom
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Inner Radio
A girl, in this world
She's all alone, her friends they all turn
their backs at her
Walkin' down her hometown streets
With headphones playin' some oldskool beats
Her baggy pants, crazy hair
She's called a "freak" and thet's not fair
The other day she pierced her nose
But anyway...
Ref:
They don't understand
Thet she prefers it her own way
Different from the rest
Doesn't care what people say
Not dressing to impress
But tryin' to follow her own heart
You listen to its sound
Turn on your inner radio
So go, don't say "no"
To what you feel is right for you
And just like that girl in her world
Is feelin' free and happy
What you got to do is:
Break the rules, don't waste your time
Get a tattoo
And remember that whatever you do
Just be yourself
'Cos anyway...
Ref
Inner radio
Inner radio
song performed by by Vanilla Ninja
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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People don't place their trust in government or company pension plans; they have to be self-reliant.
quote by Scott Cook
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To Jessica, Gone Back To The City
Sence fair Jessica hez left us
Seems ez ef she hed bereft us,
When she went, o’ half o’ livin’;
Fer we never knowed she’d driven
Into us so much content,
Till fair Jessica hed went.
(Knowed a feller once thet cried
When his yaller dog hed died.)
We hain’t near ez bright an’ chirky,
An’ the sun shines blue an’ murky,
Kind o’ sadly an’ dishearted,
Like ets sperret bed departed;
Just ez ef ets joy bed ceased
Sence fair Jessica ’s gone East.
(Not but what ets always sober
Sort o’ weather in October.)
Then the posies, too, seems human,
An’ hez all quit o’ their bloomin’;
An’ the trees they show a pallor
An’ hey turned a heart-sick yaller,
Sayin’, 'No use livin’ on
Ef fair Jessica hez gone.'
(Folks thet knows sez this ez all
Very common in the fall.)
Truth ez, I’m a-feelin’ sadly;
Things ez goin’ kind o’ badly
Round my heart an’ other vitals
(Brings on poetry recitals
O’ my woes ‘most ev’ry day)
Sence fair Jessica’s away.
(Kind o’ think thet I will haf ter
Smoke a leetle less hereafter.)
But, with fun aside, you know,
We’re blamed sorry she must go;
An’ we hope she’ll think, maybe,
‘Z well o’ us ez we o’ she.
poem by Ellis Parker Butler
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i Asked God Why
I asked God. Why me I asked god. One day God took my loving husband from me with out let me know what it’s going to happen to me with out him. I started asking why? What I did wrong to deserve this, many questions were in my head all the time. Now I know the answer. God took my husband it is not because I did something wrong, it was my husband time to leave this world. Now two years passed by and I understood that God don’t give you thinks that you’re not able to handle. Now I have an Angel that it’s looking after me all the time to make sure that I do the best every single day. I missed my loving husband but I know he is in a very good place.
poem by Rocio Batir
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Subcity
People say it doesnt exist
cause no one would like to admit
That there is a city underground
Where people live everyday
Off the waste and decay
Off the discards of their fellow man
Here in subcity life is hard
We cant receive any government relief
Id like to please give mr president my honest regards
For disregarding me
They say theres too much crime in these city streets
My sentiments exactly
Government and big business hold the purse strings
When I worked I worked in the factories
Im at the mercy of the world
I guess Im lucky to be alive
They say weve fallen through the cracks
They say the system works
But we wont let it
Help
I guess they never stop to think
We might not just want handouts
But a way to make an honest living
Living this aint living
What did I do deserve this
Had my trust in god
Worked everyday of my life
Thought I had some guarantees
Thats what I thought
At least thats what I thought
Last night I had another restless sleep
Wondering what tomorrow might bring
Last night I dreamed
A cold blue light was shining down on me
I screamed myself awake
Thought I must be dying
Thought I must be dying
song performed by by Tracy Chapman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A retired teacher paid $62,000 towards her pension and nothing, yes nothing, for full family medical, dental and vision coverage over her entire career. What will we pay her? $1.4 million in pension benefits and another $215,000 in health care benefit premiums over her lifetime.
quote by Chris Christie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Are You a Good Husband?
All married men want to be called a good husband
A good husband is a decent husband
Mr. Husband what you done to deserve this decency?
Has your wife ever referred to you as her good husband?
It is known that the eyes cannot see itself
Unless by reflection. Have you ever asked
Your wife for a performance appraisal
Honey, how did I perform last year?
On a scale of one to ten, one for very poor
Ten for excellent, how did I perform?
Your wife may think you are now on new drugs
If you receive less than six, you need to
Start fence mending before it is too late
A good husband sees his wife as his friend
A nice husband treats his wife as his lover
A decent husband regards his wife as a soul-mate
You should anticipate what your wife
Will need before she makes any request
By the way, have you ever bought a gift
For your wife without an occasion?
Do you have to wait for her birthday?
To inform her that she is very special to you?
Do you have to wait for your wedding anniversary?
To tell her that she is the best thing in your life
When last did you talk to your wife in-laws?
When last did you visit your wife in-laws?
What have you done to be called a good husband?
Ask for performance appraisal on a regular basis
Remember, if you make your wife happy
You will get happiness in return
poem by Julius Babarinsa
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Sam's Racehorse
When Sam Small retired from the Army
He'd a pension of ninepence a day,
And seven pounds fourteen and twopence
He'd saved from his rations and pay.
He knew this 'ere wasn't a fortune,
But reckoned with prudence and care
He'd find some investment to save him
From hard work and things like that there.
He thought he'd invest in a race orse,
As apart from excitement and fun
He'd be able to sit down in comfort
And live on the money he won.
He knew buying 'orses was tricky,
But that didn't daunt him at all;
He said "They must rise early 't mornin
As wants to play tricks on Sam Small!"
When he called on the local 'Orse-dealer
Surprise rooted him to the spot,
For he found 'twere his old Comp'ny Sergeant,
Whose kindness he'd never forgot.
'Twere a happy reunion on both sides,
Their pleasure at meeting was great,
For each hoped to diddle the other
And wipe a few grudges off slate.
The Sergeant brought out his race 'orses,
For which he asked various sums;
They hadn't a tooth left between them,
But Sam knew their age by their gums.
Sam studied their lines and deportment
As Sergeant were trotting them round,
And told him he reckoned their value
Were fourpence, per race 'orse, per pound.
Now the Sarg. had a filly called Buster
As he hadn't said nothing about,
But when Sam turned his nose up at t'others
He thought as he'd best trot her out.
Sam were struck with her youthful appearance,
Though there wasn't much light in the place,
For her teeth were all pearly and even
And there wasn't a line on her face.
The Sergeant asked Sam twenty guineas,
But Sam, who were up to his tricks,
Pretended he thought he'd said shillings
And offered him eighteen and six.
In the end he paid eight guineas for her,
And when he'd got home with the goods
He reckoned he'd not done so badly,
For three of the guineas was duds.
But later, when he thought it over,
A doubt through his mind seemed to creep,
If Buster were all she were painted,
Why the Sergeant had sold her so cheap.
He very soon found out the answer
When he looked at her close in her stall,
She'd the marks where her face had been lifted
And a mouth full of false teeth an' all.
The little walk home had fatigued her
And the cold air had started her cough;
Sam reckoned he'd best see the Sergeant
And tell him the bargain was off.
The place were locked up when he got there,
And he realized Sergeant had bunked,
So back he went home in a dudgeon
And found Buster lying-defunct.
Sam knew if he wanted to sell her
He mustn't let on she were dead,
So he raffled her down at the Darts Club-
Forty members at five bob a head.
The raffle were highly successful,
They all came in every man jack
And so's winner'd have no cause to grumble
Sam gave him his five shillings back.
poem by Marriott Edgar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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One state retiree, 49 years old, paid, over the course of his entire career, a total of $124,000 towards his retirement pension and health benefits. What will we pay him? $3.3 million in pension payments over his life and nearly $500,000 for health care benefits - a total of $3.8m on a $120,000 investment.
quote by Chris Christie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There is nothing inherently fair about equalizing incomes. If the government penalizes you for working harder than somebody else, that is unfair. If you save your money but retire with the same pension as a free-spending neighbor, that is also unfair.
quote by Arthur C. Brooks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nothing Bad Ever Happens
Nothing bad ever happens to me
Nothing bad ever happens to me
Why should I care?
A man broke into my neighborhood
He threatened the family with a loaded gun
He tied them all up and beat em real good
He took everything and he got away clean
And I cant believe that anyone would
Wanna do such a terrible thing
But why should I care?
Did ya hear about fred, hes unemployed
They threw him away like a useless toy
He went down the drain after 20 long years
No warning, no pension and nobodys tears
And I cant believe that anyone would
Wanna do such a terrible thing
But why should I care?
Why should I care?
Every time I look around this place
I see them scream but I hear no sound
And the terrible things happen down the road
To someone else that I dont even know
Chorus
Nothing bad ever happens to me
Nothing bad ever happens to me
Nothing bad ever happens to me
Nothing bad ever happens to me
Why should I care?
Have you heard about the joneses, my, my, my
It happened so quick and no one knows why
Their teenage son, he seemed o.k.
But his suicide ruined everyones day
And I cant believe that anyone would
Wanna do such a terrible thing
But why should I care?
Chorus
(nothing bad ever happens to me)
Nothing bad ever happens to me
song performed by by Oingo Boingo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Oh, Candy
Oh candy why did you do it
You shouldve called me on the telephone
I didnt expect for you call me
cause I didnt think that you were alone
So alone
Oh, candy worked so hard
At doin what he thought was right
It really really doesnt mean a thing
Oh, candy worked so hard
At doin what he thought was right
It really really doesnt mean a thing
Oh candy why did you do it
You didnt stick a needle in your vein
You just got so damned depressed
We all liked you except yourself
Oh, candy worked so hard
At doin what he thought was right
It really really doesnt mean a thing
Oh, candy worked so hard
At doin what he thought was right
It really really doesnt mean a thing
You, you wont be comin around no more
You, you wont be comin around no more
Oh candy why did you do it
I didnt think you heard a word that I said
song performed by by Cheap Trick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One evening I see a thing
One evening
I see a thing
that let’s my blood boil,
while I watch the news
on the television set.
I know a bold man
without hair
that stands before a big crowd,
his country, the world
and the God of gods
and lays his hand
on the holy black book
and lies a promise down and gives a solemn oath
to be true to his country and fellow man.
His government drove me to Angola
and back again
and all of the oppressed
really did have to get freedom,
but where did he stay
his brother’s keeper?
Now it seems
that he really doesn’t have a clue
about how a white man
with a degree and lots of experience
has difficulty
to find a permanent job at forty five
and to put food on the table
and all of government
falls apart
through people that have no clue
how to do their work.
Thousands of rands of tax
are subtracted from my contract work
and tax pays
his fat pension.
I want to blister
like a hot potato,
because he has the impudence
to say something about affirmative action
and I pray for him
and ask God to change him
and for him to be blessed,
as it is the way
that my mother taught me
to do to my enemies.
My contract is finished
and I have to find another job
and from that,
he stands totally free.
poem by Gert Strydom
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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