Kisses And The Rhythmic Principle
My dear ladies - that is to say, those of you who may happen inadvertently to glance through this dreadful paper
Most of you, no doubt, have felt impelled, at one time or another, to lightly caper
Round and about a ballroom, clasped in the manly and purely platonic embrace of some intellectual affinity - some male bird of your type.
There comes a period in the lives of all of us when the time for such festive prancing seems deliciously ripe.
Is it not so? Then dance, dear ladies, dance every time you get a chance.
Pray, do not think for a moment that I approve of those incomprehensible persons known as Wowsers.
I object to them on principle. I object to all their works, opinions and prejudices.
But most of all I object to their absurd hats and totally nondescript trousers.
But I digress. Ladies, I am your friend.
And ever shall I sympathetically lend
An ear to your protestations in defence of the polka-mazurka, and the schottische, and the two-step, and the waltz.
To declare that such dances are indelicate is false.
They are not!
Nor is the turkey-trot
A thing of evil.
And, as some would have us believe, an invention of the DEVIL.
Nay, even the cruelly maligned sticking-plaster
Leadeth in no sense to moral disaster
For always remember, ladies, when you are indulging in intricate terpsichorean evolutions, then that unutterably ecstatic bliss you
Experience for the moment is merely an abnormally rapid oxidisation of the mental tissue.
Dear females - diners, tarts, peaches, flappers, bits o' fluff, and perfect ladies,
There are those who will tell you that dancing is a direct importation from Hades.
By making such absurd and obviously idiotic assertions nothing can be gained:
For the whole matter may be scientifically, psychologically and biologically explained.
For instance, we will suppose that you are treading some stately measure
Such as the Gaby-glide - with a partner whose appearance and deportment give you entire pleasure.
And we will suppose
His is emboldened to propose
A subsequent and somewhat surreptitious adjournment to the conservatory -
(You know the old, old story?)
And, being half inclined to agree, you fall to wondering whether mother would really miss you.
Do not hesitate, dear lady. Respond immediately to the extraordinary and not altogether unpleasant oxidisation of the aforesaid tissue.
And now, dear lady,
Having discovered a secluded nook both cool and shady,
It is just possible that your partner may fondly place his arm around you.
Nay, do not let this dumbfound you.
Be not alarmed. No haughty glances, if you please,
For indications such as these
Betray a mind uncultured. If you would act aright,
I pray you, regard the whole matter in a scientific light.
If, for a moment, I thought you failed to recognise the rhythmic principle I should be sorely grieved.
Remember, always remember, my dear lady, that the poor young man's overcharged brain must, at all costs, be relieved.
(For, in the course of my exhaustive researches, I have discovered, after much Labor and infinite pains,
That a very large proportion of dancing men are afflicted with overcharged brains.)
And then, should he, perchance, press you tenderly to his biled shirt, and ultimately kiss you;
No protests, I pray you.
Reflet, again, that this is uncontrovertibly another manifestation of the rapid, not to say furious oxidisation of the aforementioned tissue.
And here, dear lady, endeth my discourse. I have nothing to add except, perhaps, that it would at this point be advisable to return to the ballroom and your maternal relation.
Not, of course, with any idea of snubbing the poor young man with the overcharged
brain; but merely as an ordinary precaution against the possible effects of over-oxidisation.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Ladies Man
Well, Ive heard of heartbreakers
But you take the cake
Ladies man
You could charm the diamonds
Off a rattlesnake
Ladies man
Ladies bring it on over
When you give em the glance
They dont stand a chance
First, you unfold them
Then you pigeon-hole em
Ladies man
Well it sure takes a lot of
Good natured self-control
Ladies man
When Im so hot for you and
Youre so cold, so cold
Ladies man
Why do you keep on trying to
Make a man of me
Couldnt you just love me--
Like you love cocaine
Cocaine head games
Cross my heart I swear
Im not trying to trick you
No tricks
Ladies man
Its just a straight ahead feeling
I have for you
Nothing slick
Ladies man
I guess you learn to refuse
What you think you cant handle
Youre acting like a vandal
Wrecking the dream
At the first bad scene
Ladies man
Ladies man
Ladies man
Ladies man
song performed by by Joni Mitchell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ladies Man
(myles goodwyn)
Published by goody two tunes, inc. - bmi
Last night, what a scene
So cool, a gypsy queen
Some crashed, the talk of the town
So shy, when Im around
Thats right, Im a ladies man, yes I am
Some girls wont let go
Most girls cant say no
First glance, I could see
Your next move was up to me
Thats right, Im a ladies man, yes I am
Come and get it, Im all yours tonight
Theres no reason to be shy
Theres no sittin wonderin why
Cause Im a ladies man
Come and get me, Im all yours tonight, yeah
High heels, crimson shoes
Slow down, lovers groove
Just right, not too fast
Good times were meant to last
Thats why Im a ladies man, yes I am
Come and get it, Im all yours tonight
Theres no need to wonder why
Theres no sittin bein shy
Cause Im a ladies man
Come and get it, Im all yours tonight
Yeah yeah yeah, Im a ladies man
Come on girl, Im a ladies man
Its alright, Im a ladies man
Come and get me, Im all yours tonight
song performed by by April Wine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ladies Pay
All the sailors theyre all home from leave
And everybodys waiting for them to try to deceive
The storekeepers have drawn their lace curtains bare
And all the women and the wee young girls all waiting there
Oh, but how the ladies pay
Oh, if they only knew how the ladies pay
Yeah now, how the ladies pay
Oh, when the men theyve gone away
Nobody is standing on upon the door
And nobody is feeding any of the poor
The poor sick soldier lies in bed beside his girl
Thinking of another place on the other side of the world
Ah
How the ladies pay
Oh-oh, oh, how the ladies pay
When the men theyve gone away
Oh, I wish I knew how the ladies pay
Day and night, night and day
How the ladies pay
Day and night, night and day
How the ladies pay
Day and night
Night and day
Day and night
Day and night, night and day, ladies pay now
Night and day, day and night
How the ladies pay
Day and night, night and day
How the ladies pay
Day and night now
Night and day and now
How the pay now
Oh, how the pay now
Ladies pay, ladies pay
Ah, ladies pay the way now
Ladies pay, ah, ladies pay
Ah, ladies pay
Night and day, night and day, night and day
Oh, how the ladies pay
Oh, night and day, night and day, night and day
Oh, how the ladies pay
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Paper
Paper promises, Dunstead said,
paper cups, wallpaper being stuck
up on the wall for the next to last
time, paper tigers, paper to wipe
the ass and best of all paper to
create art, to have it from the heart,
to see it out there, being gazed at,
studied by some bearded guy with
glasses and paper money to buy
the next paper to create and then
if I’m lucky the muse turning up on
time and giving me the big nudge
in the right direction or some paper
picture of some nude dame giving
the long time wished for erection.
poem by Terry Collett
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Blank Mocking Paper
I stare at this paper so white
I just don't know what's so right
I want to write on it
I would love to write a sonnet
I just am alone with the green lines
The red now just starts to shine
Blank as my mind is this sheet
Please can my pen and it just meet
Instead of me sitting here dumbstruck
As if I almost got hit by a truck
Ink blue as the sky not writing
Instead on its end I keep biting
I don't want to right about a caper
So I’ll just stare at this Blank Mocking Paper
poem by Zachary Clark
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dear Diary
Dear diary, what a day its been.
Dear diary, its been just like a dream.
Woke up late. wasnt where I should have been.
For goodness sake whats happening to me.
Write lightly, yours truly, dear diary.
It was cold outside my door.
So many people by the score.
Rushing around so senselessly.
They dont notice theres people like me.
Write lightly, yours truly, dear diary.
They dont know what theyre playing.
Theyve no way of knowing what the game is.
Still they carry on doing what they can.
Outside me, yours truly, dear diary.
Its over. will tomorrow be the same?
I know that theyre really not to blame.
If they wernt so blind then surely theyd see.
Theres a much better way for them to be.
Inside me, yours truly, dear diary.
.
.
.
Somebody exploded an h-bomb today.
But it wasnt anyone I knew.
song performed by by Moody Blues
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Thats Right
Aint no doubt about it you want me,
Cant you see that I want the same, (ohh yaaa)
Dont pretend you can do without me,
Baby let me show you this game. (oh)
All we need is to get a little closer,
You wont regret a thing,
Its about time to get it on tonight.
[chorus:]
Thats right,
Now I got you where I want you baby,
No doubt, its gonna happen tonight baby baby.
Thats right,
You know there aint no use to fight it baby,
No doubt, youre gonna love it,
Alright, baby baby,
That s right.
Thats right! [x7]
Tonight.
Baby all you see is complications,
Doesnt have to happen that way. (no no)
Let me change this whole situation,
I wont let this chance slip away. (ya yay ya)
All I know is it couldnt go wrong (no no)
Baby you cant deny,
What we got going on tonight.
[chorus (x2)]
Cant you see all we need is right in front of us,
We cant let this thing just pass us by,
Easier than it seems, all you have to do is stay around,
And youll know when I tell you that its for real.
Thats right,
No doubt, its gonna happen tonight baby baby.
Thats right,
No doubt, youre gonna love it,
Alright, baby baby,
Thats right.
[chorus (x2)]
song performed by by Velvet Empire
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Goodnight Ladies
Goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Its time to say goodbye
Let me tell you now
Goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Its time to say goodbye
Now all night long youve been drinking your tequilla
But now youve sucked your lemon peel dry
So why not get high
Goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Its time to say goodbye
Goodnight sweet ladies, ladies goodnight
Its time to say goodbye bye bye
Oh weve been together for the longest time
But now its time to get high
Come on lets get high
And goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Oh, Im still missing my other half
Ah, it must be something I did in the past
Dont it just make you want to laugh
Its a lonely saturday night
Oh, nobody calls me on the telephone
I put another record on my stereo
But Im still singin a song of you
Its a lonely saturday night
Now if I was an actor or a dancer who is glamorous
Then you know an amorus life would soon be mine
But now the tinsil lighted starbreak is all thats left
To play my heartbreak
At eleven oclock I watch the network news
Oh, wow, wow, something tells me that youre nearly gone
You said we could be friends but thats not what I want
Ah, anyway my tv dinners almost done
Its a lonely saturday night
I mean to tell you its a lonely saturday night
One more round
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Insurrections
I saw God. Do you doubt it?
Do you dare to doubt it?
I saw the Almighty Man. His hand
Was resting on a mountain, and
He looked upon the World and all about it:
I saw Him plainer than you see me now,
You mustn't doubt it.
He was not satisfied;
His look was all dissatisfied.
His beard swung on a wind far out of sight
Behind the world's curve, and there was light
Most fearful from His forehead, and He sighed,
'That star went always wrong, and from the start
I was dissatisfied.'
He lifted up His hand-
I say He heaved a dreadful hand
Over the spinning Earth, then I said 'Stay,
You must not strike it, God; I'm in the way;
And I will never move from where I stand.'
He said, 'Dear child, I feared that you were dead,'
And stayed His hand.
poem by James Stephens
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Accidents Can Happen
Theres a side of you, could bring on homicide
But livin in a cell changes my view
Maybe your automobile could lose its right front wheel
It happens every day, it could be you
Look back over your shoulder, when you think youre alone, youre not
Each noise, every shadow, look out!
Chorus:
Accidents can happen, its always in the news
Accidents can happen to you
You read it in the paper, you see it on the tube
Accidents can happen
To you
A little haitian doll, that looks a lot like you do
A little powdered poison in your tea
Electricity, invisible to see, Id like to introduce you to mr. e
A malfunction, who would notice, machines and things get hot
A permanent vacation can be bought
Chorus - look out!
(solo)
Accidents can happen, accidents can happen, accidents can happen to you
Chorus - accidents can happen, accidents can happen - look out!
song performed by by Reo Speedwagon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wish You Were Here
I sent you a postcard
Thought it would be funny
Would have sent a souvenir
But they took all my money
It's pretty warm down here but it ain't sunny
And I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I tried to call you
I tried to call you
Long distance operators that only stall you
Besides the damn rates are so high
They just appall you
And I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
And I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
It started out a nice vacation
Left the station right on time
Can't get a ticket to get me home, dear
They just don't have too many flights from twilight zone, dear
So don't forget to feed my cats
Spot and Jerome, dear
And I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
Having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
Seeing all the sights here
I'm getting lonely
I'd show you all the film I took if they would only
Let me go home
Dear, sincerely
I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
I'm having a hell of a time, my dear
Wish you were here
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hum The Haiku is a Funny Bird
The Haiku is a funny bird
Which roosts not in a tree,
It looks around with wondrous eye
And whispers much to me.
He looks him up, he looks him down,
He looks around the fields and town,
And when his wondrous eyes do caper
It's time to grab a pen and paper.
For then the Haiku shows his skill
And sets to verse most anything;
I fold my hands and grateful bow
Then feed him fish or sometimes chow.
poem by Mill Field
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I am in crazy in love with Girls
It amazing how life is transformed sometimes
I don’t know whether it because of the changing of the season
But let me tell something interesting
When I was young I could pay no interest that there are people who are beautiful
As soon as I grew up I had people talking to me
They say what a beautiful child am I.
But today I am old
As long as I could see I could see that there people who are beautiful
Next to me I sit along a beautiful girl both left and right
Even the room where we are is beautiful
That is the way why I offer a smile to each and everyone for the first time
I can see the reason why I lick my finger no more
It because such nice people give a warm welcome baby
Yes they can say what ever wrong to me but I think I must forgive them
It because they are beautiful –ladies
Beautiful ladies
It because they are beautiful –ladies
Beautiful ladies
It because they are beautiful –ladies
Beautiful ladies
It because they are beautiful –ladies
Beautiful ladies
Wooo hhooh woo huhu hugh
poem by Mthokozisi Ntokozo Maphumulo
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Polonius: Good madam, stay awhile; I will be faithful. [Reads.]
‘Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.
‘O dear Ophelia, I am ill at these numbers;
I have not art to reckon my groans: but that
I love thee best, O most best, believe it. Adieu.
‘Thine evermore, most dear lady, whilst this machine is to him,
HAMLET.’
line from Hamlet, Act II, Scene 2 by William Shakespeare (1599)
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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A Thought
A THOUGHT
Should I tell you of a dreadful thought,
That makes me breathless, sobbing and crying,
Without her love my life's a knot,
Without me she's a paper flying,
She wept for all my pains, felt my gloom,
Did not sleep when I was away,
The thought that comes to my mind mom!
Will I weep for you or YOU will mourn me?
Jahan….
poem by Jahan zaib
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Time is of the essence for Friend Thad
Herbert the hippopotamus
was feeling rather amorous
The female hippopotami
avoided Herbies roving eye.
They politely gave their reason
This is not the mating season.
Although he sang his best love song
the ladies would not go along.
So Herbie had to go without
of this the ladies had no doubt.
They told him firmly that he should
go cool his ardour in the mud.
Then come back when the time is right
to satisfy his appetite.
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
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A Forty-Year-Old Virgin
She stood well out from the crowd
a brown paper bag over her head
with four holes cut out
for her eyes, nose and mouth.
She proclaimed she was a virgin
and you could very well see why.
Imagine going out with someone
who resembled the man in the iron mask.
Her clothes were old fashion,
hand-me-downs from her great grandmother.
Other women got into trouble
but it will never happen to me,
everyone agreed it would never happen to her.
She said she was waiting for Mr Right to come along.
From the state of her, it would be a long time coming to,
so everyone remarked and thought.
Then the impossible happened,
she met a man with a paper bag on his head.
It was love at first sight.
Right away, she knew this was the man for her.
They married on the thirteenth,
as neither was superstitious.
The photographer at the wedding asked them to take off their bags. Slowly they removed them and everyone gasped,
no one could believe their eyes.
They looked like two butterflies
emerging from their cocoons.
Both were what you pictured
the perfect couple should be.
He was ruggedly handsome
and she could have outshone any beauty queen.
As for the paper bags
they lived happily ever after as well.
13 September 2009
poem by David Harris
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Like many other women, I could not understand why every man who changed a diaper has felt impelled, in recent years, to write a book about it.
quote by Barbara Ehrenreich
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Paper And Pen
Paper and pen
Trying to write a song again
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
Trying to write a song again
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
Can’t think of anything to say today
Can’t think of anything to do
Can’t think of anything to play today
Minds gone blank
Leaving me here, just sitting here
Listening to my hair grow
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
And I look towards you
For an inspiration or a word or two
I try but I find
Every road only leads me back to these lines
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
Piano, guitar
I try but don't get very far
Paper and pen
Piano, guitar
Paper and pen
Trying to write a song again
Paper and pen
Paper and pen
Copyright Colin Coplin 1985 / 2010
poem by Colin Coplin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Paper
Hold the paper up to the light
(some rays pass right through)
Expose yourself out there for a minute
(some rays pass right through)
Take a little rest when the rays pass through
Take a little time off when the rays pass through
Go ahead and mis it up...go ahead and tie it up
In a long distance telephone call
Hold on to that paper
Hold on to that paper
Hold on becuase its been taken care of
Hold on to that paper
See if you can fit it on the paper
See if you can get it on the paper
See if you can fit it on the paper
See if you can get it on the paper
Had a love affair but it was only paper
(some rays they pass right through)
Had a lot of fun, could have been a lot better
(some rays they pass right through)
Take a little consideration, take every combination
Take a few weeks off, make it tighter, tighter
But it was never, it was never written down
Still might be a chance that it might work out (if you)
Hold on to that paper
Hold on to that paper
Hold on because itll be taken care of
Hold on to that paper
Dont think I can fit it on the paper
Dont think I can get it on the paper
Go ahead and rip up, rip up the paper
Go ahead and tear up, tear up the paper
song performed by by Talking Heads
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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