Jones M.P.

It was thus in the beginning: With a sporting chance of winning,
Jones contested an election years ago.
He was young, enthusiastic, and maintained that measures drastic
Were imperative to save the land from Woe.
For the laudable admiration of this budding politician,
Who with zeal to serve his bleeding country burned,
Was to make a reputation as a saviour of the nation,
And a clean and honest statesman - if returned.

The electors took a fancy to the youngster, and the chance he
Had of winning was improved where'er he went.
His high motives were respected, and, in short, he was elected;
And an Honest Man went into Parliament.
Went in to strive for glory where there held a system hoary,
Founded on the good old English party plan.
Wherefore Jones, half understanding things, submitted to the branding,
And became, perforce, a solid party man.

But when he heard a mention of the Whip
Party Whip,
He gave answer, as he curled a scornful lip,
And his honest zeal upbore him,
That his course was plain before him,
Just the clean, straight course of earnest statesmanship.
For young Jones held notions utterly absurd;
And the old campaigners sniggered when they heard
That young patriot unfolding
His stern views, and Truth upholding,
But he meant it, when he said it, ev'ry word.

For a time, in all debating, Jones was famed for boldly stating
Plain, blunt truths and keen uncomfortable facts;
Till his colleagues grew uneasy, for, in fashion bland and breezy,
He proposed to back his burning words with acts.
And they told him, with much cunning, that he might be in the running
For the leadership if he'd consent to hedge.
He was bold, ambitious, clever, but advance, they said, he'd never
While he clung to childish notions of his pledge.

Brave young Jones at first was scornful; but, ere long, with visage mournful,
He sat down to think on what he stood to lose.
And his party friends, with caution, hinted honours were his portion
If he'd but consent to water down his views.
And they e'en suggested slyly that, although they valued highly
His great services, defiance was not meet.
Till, his splendid dream departing, Jones saw plainly that a parting
With his party meant a parting with his seat.

It was then he heard the cracking of the Whip
Party Whip!
And he found the System had him in its grip,
On the one hand was devotion
To his duty, with promotion
On the other, and the hope of leadership.
For he'd come unto the parting of the ways,
And he hearkened to the voice of fulsome praise
To the promise of preferment,
And - there happened the interment
Of the self-respecting Jones of other days.

Step by step he climbed the ladder: now a wiser if a sadder
And a meaner politician, till he led,
And his party, though erratic, was lukewarmly democratic;
Thus he strove to soothe his conscience on this head.
But there came a day of clamour when his colleagues vowed the glamour
Of his visions was all bunkum and a myth;
For these champions of the nation had perceived their sole salvation
Lay in fusing with the Tory leader, Smith.

Jones at first held out, refusing all suggestions of his fusing
With this person he had hitherto abused.
But he marked his sullen backing, and he heard the whip a-cracking,
Then he abjectly surrendered all, and - 'fused' ...
Jones is now a semi-leader. O, consider, gentle reader;
Think, how many politicians can you name
Who, though starting straight and cleanly, have surrendered weakly, meanly,
When their party bid them fuse and 'play the game'?

How they shudder at the cracking of the Whip
Tory whip.
How they tremble lest the slightest fault or slip
Should offend their august master,
And upon them bring disaster,
And deprive them of their cherished membership.
'Twas to save their bleeding country in they went,
And to bleed it save themselves in Parliament;
Ev'ry worthy cause neglecting,
Their own worthless skins protecting,
And a fig for all the 'views' they 'represent.'
O, the 'freedom' of the Fusion Party man!
Noble man!
Abject creature of the grim old Tory clan,
Waiting, watching, shuffling, veering,
Scheming, plotting, engineering
Sorry product of the 'Good old Party Plan.'

poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus DennisReport problemRelated quotes
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The Bridge Across the Crick

Joseph Jones and Peter Dawking
Strove in an election fight;
And you'd think, to hear them talking,
Each upheld the people's right.
Each declared he stood for Progress and against his country's foes
When he sought their votes at Wombat, where the Muddy River flows.

Peter Dawking, scorning party,
As an Independent ran;
Joseph Jones, loud, blatant, hearty,
Was a solid party man.
But the electors up at Wombat vowed to him alone they'd stick
Who would give his sacred promise for the 'bridge across the crick'.

Bland, unfaithful politicians
Long had said this bridge should be.
Some soared on to high positions,
Some sank to obscurity;
Still the bridge had been denied it by its unrelenting foes -
By the foes of patient Wombat, where the Muddy River flows.

Up at Wombat Peter Dawking
Held a meeting in the hall,
And he'd spent an hour in talking
On the far-flung Empire's Call,
When a local greybeard, rising, smote him with this verbal brick:
'Are or are yeh not in favour of the bridge across the crick?'

Peter just ignored the question,
Proudly patriotic man;
Understand a mean suggestion
Men like Peter never can,
Or that free enlightened voters look on all Great Things as rot,
While a Burning Local Question fires each local patriot.

Joseph Jones, serene and smiling,
Took all Wombat to his heart.
'Ah,' he said, his 'blood was b'iling'
He declared it 'made him smart'
To reflect how they'd been swindled; and he cried in ringing tones
'Gentlemen, your bridge is certain if you cast your votes for Jones!'

Joseph Jones and Peter Dawking
Strove in an election fight,
And, when they had finished talking,
On the great election night
They stood level in the voting, and the hope of friends and foes
Hung upon the box from Wombat, where the Muddy River flows.

Then the Wombat votes were counted;
Jones, two hundred; Dawking, three!
Joseph, proud and smiling, mounted
On a public balcony,
And his friends were shrill with triumph, for that contest, shrewdly run,
In the House gave Jones's Party a majority of one.

Jones's Party - note the sequel
Rules that country of the Free,
And the fight, so nearly equal,
Swayed the whole land's destiny.
And the Big Things of the Nation are delayed till Hope grows sick
Offered up as sacrifices to 'the bridge across the crick'.

Dawking now is sadly fearing
For the crowd's intelligence.
Joseph, skilled in engineering,
Full of pomp and sly pretence,
Still holds out the pleasing promise of that bridge whene'er he goes
Up to Wombat, patient Wombat, where the Muddy River flows.

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Mr. Jones

Mr. jones
Put a wiggle in your stride
Loosen up
I believe he'll be alright
Changing clothes
Now he's got ventilated slacks
Bouncing off the walls
Mr. jones is back!
Bulge out
And wind your waist
Tight pants
Got curly hair
Drinking cold beer
From metal cans
Moonshine
And handi-wipes!
Mr. jones is back in town
It's his lucky day
Hold up your hands and shout
Jones is on his way
Pitter pat
Mr. jones is back in town
Aces high
Now his pants are falling down
He looks so fine
In those patent leather shoes
Mr. jones, you look tired
I believe you'll be alright
Sales men
Conventioneers
Some rock stars
With tambourines
Short skirts
And skinny legs
Selling bibles
And real estate
It's a big day for mr. jones
He is not so square
Mr. jones will stick around
He's everybody's friend
Fast cars
And motorbikes
I'm sure glad
He's on our side
The jones gang
Down at the bar
Watch out, this time
They've gone too far
They call for mr. jones
They put him in charge
Mr. jones will help us out
He's a lucky guy
It is mr. jones' birthday party
For another year
In his hotel room party favors
It's a holiday

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Itsy Bitsy Teenie Weenie Yellow Polkadot Bikini

WHIP IT
DEVO
crack that whip
give the past the slip
step on a crack
break your momma's back
when a problem comes along
you must whip it
before the cream sits out too long
you must whip it
when something's going wrong
you must whip it
now whip it
into shape
shape it up
get straight
go forward
move ahead
try to detect it
it's not too late
to whip it
whip it good
when a good time turns around
you must whip it
you will never live it down
unless you whip it
no one gets their way
until they whip it
i say whip it
whip it good

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Whip It (Death Metal Version)

crack that whip
give the past the slip
step on a crack
break your momma's back
when a problem comes along
you must whip it
before the cream sits out too long
you must whip it
when something's going wrong
you must whip it
now whip it
into shape
shape it up
get straight
go forward
move ahead
try to detect it
it's not too late
to whip it
whip it good
when a good time turns around
you must whip it
you will never live it down
unless you whip it
no one gets their way
until they whip it
i say whip it
whip it good

song performed by by MobyReport problemRelated quotes
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Whip It

Crack that whip
Give the past the slip
Step on a crack
Break your mommas back
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When somethings going wrong
You must whip it
Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
Its not too late
To whip it
Whip it good
When a good time turns around
You must whip it
You will never live it down
Unless you whip it
No one gets their way
Until they whip it
I say whip it
Whip it good

song performed by by MobyReport problemRelated quotes
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Whip It

Crack that whip
Give the past the slip
Step on a crack
Break your mommas back
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sits out too long
You must whip it
When somethings going wrong
You must whip it
Now whip it
Into shape
Shape it up
Get straight
Go forward
Move ahead
Try to detect it
Its not too late
To whip it
Whip it good
When a good time turns around
You must whip it
You will never live it down
Unless you whip it
No one gets their way
Until they whip it
I say whip it
Whip it good

song performed by by Face To FaceReport problemRelated quotes
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Where's The Party

Where's the party (party, party)
Where's the party (party, party)
Show me the way, show me the way
It's like a holiday
That happens everyday
I get to celebrate
No matter what you say
When I get real bored
I want something more
I never lose my head
Cause I know the score
Show me the way
Show me the way
C'mon, show me the way
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Party all night 'til I can't go on
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Show me the way, show me the way
One thing I know
Is when I feel low
I never have to worry
Got a place to party
no one's getting mean
It's so obscene
No matter what goes down
I just get what I need
Show me the way
Show me the way
C'mon, show me the way
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Party all night 'til I can't go on
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Show me the way, show me the way
Where's the party, where's the party
party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party
p-p-p-party
Show me the way
Show me the way
C'mon, show me the way
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Party all night 'til I can't go on
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Show me the way, show me the way
Show me the way, if you show me the way
C'mon show me the way
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Party all night 'til I can't go on
Where's the party?
All I Wanna do is have some fun
Where's the party?
Show me the way, show me the way
Where's the party, where's the party
Where's the party, where's the party
Show me the way
Show me the way

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Tom Jones International

REFUGEECAMP
TURN ME UP GIVE ME SOME MORE
TOM JONES YOUR READY BABY
YEAH THATS IT
LETGO
REFREIN:
1, 2 TOMS COMING FOR YOU
3, 4 GONNA BUST THROUGH YOUR DOOR
5, 6 YOU BETTER LOCK UP YOUR CHICKS
7, 8 BEFORE ITS TO LATE
ACT RIGHT LADIES SEEM FORGOT BODY
FEELS LIKE PUSSYCATS COME OUT
LATE NIGHT NO MATTER WHERE THEY ROME
THEY ALWAYS GONNA COME HOME TO TOM JONES
30 YEARS STRONG NEVER WENT WRONG
STILL IN THE GAME I DECIDE WHEN IM GONE
NOW IM GONNA SET THE WHOLE HOUSE ON FIRE
I WONT STOP ROCKING TILL I RETIRE
YOU KNOW AND I KNOW YOU GOTTA MOVE ON THE DANCEFLOOR
WERE BLOWING UP THIS PARTY WITH THIS SEXBOMB
TAKE MY HAND UNDERSTAND ILL ROCK FOR YEARS ALL ACROSS THE LAND
SO LET ME SEE YOU SHAKE IT TILL THE SUN COMES
REFREIN:
NOW YOUR IN THE MOOD
SO LET ME SEE YOU MOVE
I GOT YOU HYNOTIZED WITH THE SOUND OF THE GROOVE
FROM LONDON TO L.A
AND BACK TO THE N.Y
TURN ON YOUR SATELITES SO WE CAN SEE IT WORLDWIDE
YOU KNOW AND I KNOW YOU GOTTA MOVE ON THE DANCEFLOOR
WERE BLOWING UP THIS PARTY WITH THIS SEXBOMB
TAKE MY HAND UNDERSTAND I LL ROCK FOR YEARS ALL ACROSS THE LAND
SO LET ME SEE YOU SHAKE IT TILL THE SUN COMES
REFREIN:
PUSSYCATS COME OUT LATE NIGHT
GIRL YOU MAKE ME WANNA HOLLER
TOM JONES INTERNATIONAL BABY (3*)
REFREIN:
TOM JONES OH OH OH OH OH TOM JONES (2*)

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Party Boy

You're love ain't enough-OW!
You're just a party party party boy yeah
oh baby
You're just a party party party boy!

From the moment I walked into your life
I knew right then it was a serious
thing 4U

I got a kick out of your party friends
After a while I found a holiday

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Party All Night

Hang loose
Party
Got my head to the grindstone
I'm trying to act like a fool
My head is a lampshade
They can't find me at school
Well I'm an animal
Yes I'm a cannonball
They say I'm out for blood
One thing I wanna do is
Party all night (Oh-oh!)
Party all night (Oh-oh-oh!)
Party all night (Yeah!)
All night long
Driving right way on the wrong side
A bit too much to drink
Women in the backseat
And they don't know what to think
They say I've lost my head
You'll probably end up dead
But they're too blind to see
What's a party to me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Is to party all night (Oh-oh!)
Let's party all night (Oh-oh-oh!)
Party all night (Yeah!)
All night long
Uh!
Let's have a good time, good time
C'mon
Everybody's parties
I'm on a one way cruise
Lookin' for trouble
We got nothing to lose
They're on the telephone
They're trying to send me home
We're gonna pull the plug
We've got a new kind of school
Let's party all night
Let's party all night
Party all night
Let's party all night
(Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Let's party all night (Oh!)
(We're party animals, baby)
Let's party all night (Oh-oh-oh!)
(We've got nothing to lose)
Let's party all night
All night long, yeah!
Let's party all night
Let's party boys

song performed by by Quiet RiotReport problemRelated quotes
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PARTY AT THE LEPER COLONY

Finger food and an ice cold keg
It won't cost you an arm and a leg
Dance all night to a rotten band
Come on, people, let's give 'em a hand
Saturday night it's the place to be
Everybody cut footloose with me
At the party at the leper colony
Oh, there's a party at the leper colony
Met a little lady so pretty and young
She was quite a talker till the cat got her tongue
She oozed up beside me, I turned on my charm
Well, pretty soon she was completely disarmed
I said, "Girl, now don't fall to pieces on me"
But she cried her eyes out . literally
At the party at the leper colony
Oh, there's a party at the leper colony
Hey! Hey!
Hey now, buddy, don't you give me no lip
Sorry I was using your head for a dip
There's a guy in the hot tub, I don't know who
Wait a minute, it looks like Stu
Well, hold the phone now, what do I see?
Another pretty mama got her eye on me
At the party at the leper colony
Oh, there's a party at the leper colony
There's a party at the leper colony
(Party at the leper colony)
There's a party at the leper colony
(Party at the leper colony)
Oh, there's a party at the leper colony, yeah, party at the leper colony
Well, there's a party at the lepr colony
(Party at the leper colony)
Hey!

song performed by by Weird Al YankovicReport problemRelated quotes
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World Party

Well its got nothing to do with anything that is real
You just believe in it and its true
You can sooth like an angel or sigh like a saint
You can dream it and see it through
You will live to see a sea of lights
Sparking on the face of a pearl
Climb your own peak
Find a new streak
Get yourself along to the world party (party!)
Now youve been building for yourself a cool place in the sand
Youre thinking that its mighty fine
Youve got dust in your eyeballs, you got mud in your mouth
But its your head, it aint mine
Ive got a madman of my own to contend with
Cursing in the cave of my skull
Turn the other cheek
Find a new streak
Get yourself along to the world party (party!)
Well I heard a rumour of a golden age
Somewhere back along the line
Maybe I dreamed it in a whisper or
Heard it in a spell
It was something to do with the sign of the times
And the only thing that I remember
Is a summer like a pretty girl
Who shimmers and shines
Moving in time
Shaking to the beat of the heart of the world
Party (party! party! party! party! party! party! party! party! party!)

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Me And Mrs. Jones

Me and mrs. jones, we got a thing going on,
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now.
We meet ev'ry day at the same cafe,
Six-thirty i know she'll be there,
Holding hands, making all kinds of plans
While the jukebox plays our favorite song.
Me and mrs., mrs. jones, mrs. jones, mrs. jones,
Mrs. jones got a thing going on,
We both know that it's wrong,
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now.
We gotta be extra careful that we don't build our hopes too high
Cause she's got her own obligations and so do i,
Me, me and mrs., mrs. jones, mrs. jones, mrs. jones,
Mrs. jones got a thing going on,
We both know that it's wrong,
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now.
Well, it's time for us to be leaving,
Iit hurts so much, it hurts so much inside,
Now she'll go her way and i'll go mine,
But tomorrow we'll meet the same place, the same time.
Me and mrs. jones, mrs. jones, mrs. jones.

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Me & Mrs. Jones

Me and Mrs. Jones, we got a thing going on,
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now.
We meet ev'ry day at the same cafe,
Six-thirty I know she'll be there,
Holding hands, making all kinds of plans
While the jukebox plays our favorite song.
Me and Mrs., Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones,
Mrs. Jones got a thing going on,
We both know that it's wrong,
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now.
We gotta be extra careful that we don't build our hopes too high
Cause she's got her own obligations and so do I,
Me, me and Mrs., Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones,
Mrs. Jones got a thing going on,
We both know that it's wrong,
But it's much too strong to let it cool down now.
Well, it's time for us to be leaving,
Iit hurts so much, it hurts so much inside,
Now she'll go her way and I'll go mine,
But tomorrow we'll meet the same place, the same time.
Me and Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones, Mrs. Jones.

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Party

Dont delay
Today
Youve got to join the party
Theres no choice
Your voice
Will join the sound sound sound sound
Light the flame
Our aim
Lets get the whole thing started
Tell your friends
Attend
Look what weve found
And if youre scared
Or unaware
Theres no-one here
Wholl put you down
Dont be afraid
You make the grade
Dont hesitate
Come into town
Come on
Everyone is going to
Party, party
Everyone is going to
Party - yeah
Thats the place
Our base
Will make the whole world welcome
No-one cares
What you wear
Just come on down
Youll be there
And you will share
With people
All around
And youll be strong
cause you belong
To everyone
Youve found
I said come on
I said
Everyone is going to
Party, party
Everyone is going to
Party - yeah
Everyone is going to
Party, party
Everyone is going to
Party - yeah
And I say yeah
Come on
Everyone is going to
Party, party
Everyone is going to
Party - yeah
Come on
Everyone is going to
Party, party
Come on
Everyone is going to
Party - yeah

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Good Time Party

Orbison/dees
Come on now, have some fun
Good time party
Livin lovin everyone
Good time party time
Grab that girl and hold her tight
Good time party
Dont you know tonights the night?
Good time party time
Have a good time party
Dance the night away
Have a good time party
Its time to laugh and play
Good time party
Good time party
Its good time party time
Everybody come along, good time party
Time for women, wine and song
Good time party time
Have a good time party, dance the night away
Have a good time party, its time to laugh and play
Good time party, good time party
Everybody come along
Good time party
Time for women, wine and song
Good time party time
Good time party, good time party,
Its good time party time

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Have You Met Miss Jones?

Have you met Miss Jones
Someone said as we shook hands
She was just Miss Jones to me

Then I said Miss Jones
You're a girl who understands
I'm a man who must be free.

And all at once I lost my breath
And all at once was scared to death
And all at once I own the earth and sky

Now I met Miss Jones
And well keep on meeting till we die
Miss Jones and I

And all at once I lost my breath
And all at once was scared to death
And all at once I own the earth and sky

Now I met Miss Jones
And well keep on meeting till we die
Miss Jones and I
Miss Jones and I

Miss Jones and I

song performed by by Robbie Williams from Swing When You're WinningReport problemRelated quotes
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Well Did You Evah?

Porter
Have you heard among this clan
I am called the forgotten man ?
Well did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
Have ou heard the story of
Dexter boy being gypped by love?
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is
What frails, what frocks
What furs, what rocks
What gaiety!
Its all too exquis
That french champagne
So good for the brain
That band, its the end!
Kindly dont fall down, my friend.
Have you heard? professor munch
Ate his wife and divorced his lunch.
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
Have you heard? the countess krupp
Crossed the bridge when the bridge was up
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
Have you heard that mimsie starr
Just got pinched in the astor bar?
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
Have you heard that uncle newt
Forgot to open his parachute?
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this
It s great, its grand
It s wonderland
What soup, what fish
That beef what a dish
That grouse, so rare
That old camembert!
That baba au rhum!
Will you please move over, chum?
Have you heard the poor dear blanche
Got run down by an avalanche?
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!
Have you heard? its in the stars
Next july we collide with mars.
Well, did you evah?
What a swell party this is!

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Where's The Party

Working Monday through Friday
Takes up all of my time
If I can get to the weekend
Everything will work out just fine
That's when I can go crazy
That's when I can have fun
Time to be with my baby
Time to come undone

Chorus:

Where's the party [where's the party]
I want to free my soul
Where's the party [where's the party]
I want to lose control
Where's the party [where's the party]
I want to free my soul
Where's the party [where's the party]
I want to lose control

Couldn't wait to get older
Thought I'd have so much fun
I guess I'm one of the grown-ups
Now I have to get the job done
People give me the business
I'm not living in fear
I'm just living in chaos
Gotta get away from here

(chorus)

Intermediate:

Don't want to grow old too fast
Don't want to let the system get me down
I've got to find a way to make the good times last
And if you show me how

song performed by by Madonna from You Can DanceReport problemRelated quotes
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Party

Well you know I dont get off on workin day after day
I wanna have some fun while Im here
I play the game when its goin my way
And theres nothin like a party when its kickin into gear
Im gettin ready for a party tonight
Yes Im gettin ready to cruise
And if youve got somethin for me
Ive got somethin for you
Baby
Its a party and nobody cares
What were doin there
Baby, its a party as long as youre there
Its a party, party, party!
I cant believe it when some people say
That its a sin that way we live to die
You know, theres never been a more natural thing
Yea theres a brand new story, but its the same old lie
So come on
Get ready for the time of your life
cause Im gettin right in the groove
And if youve got somethin for me
Ive got somethin for you
Baby
Its a party and nobody cares
What were doin there
Baby, its a party as long as youre there
Its a party, party, party!
Yea yea yea yea get down and party if you need a cue
Youre sure to find one in the crowd
Just meet some friends and have a toke or two
In a place where they can never play the music too loud
Get ready for a party tonight
cause Im gettin right in the groove
And if youve got somethin for me
Ive got somethin for you
Baby
Its a party and nobody cares
What were doin there
Baby, its a party as long as youre there
Its a party, party, party!
You know a man doesnt live on bread alone
Hes got to have some lovin each and every night
And a womans got to have it if the truth be known
Lets get together honey, its alright
(scholz, delp)

song performed by by BostonReport problemRelated quotes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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