Clearly Confused
She was clearly confused
Bewildered and bemused
How can it be called a civil war?
Brooding on it more and more
Dining on some jumbo shrimp
That waiter is such a wimp
Need more sweet and sour sauce
If only she had some dental floss
Hoping the bill wasn't pretty ugly
Pants are fitting a little more snugly
All in all, the meal was awfully good
Waistline was tight after she stood
Her car is parked by a Dodge Ram
Take 4th St. to avoid a traffic jam
A genuine-imitation leather purse
With a matching wallet, of course
Need to stop for some Icy Hot
Using it more often than not
It's now new and improved
Wish that store hadn't moved
A detailed summary, still to write
About that incident overnight
When the airplane crash landed
It all seems so underhanded
Was it a Peace-Keeper missile?
Admission only when it's unofficial
Working in military intelligence
Involves a certain unpleasantness
End up another unsolved mystery
In the dust bin of forgotten history
poem by Charles Hancock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Misnomers
The name implies inadequate size,
And indeed, many shrimp are quite small.
But a jumbo shrimp is in no way a wimp-
Why call it a shrimp at all?
And a fairy shrimph is perceived as a nymph,
'Cause it's delicate, lovely, and frail.
But a fairy it's not-no wand has it got,
And no fairy's equipped with a tail!
Cant Stop Now
(coverdale/vandenberg)
My mama always said
If you want you should get in fast
While the goings good
Lie like a rug if you fool around
Just dont get caught with your trousers down
Somebody stop me,
Tie me down
I tell you, baby,
I cant, I cant stop now
My daddy said son gotta understand,
Dont think twice get it while you can
You cant hang around, you cant stand still,
Cos if you dont take it another man will
Somebody stop me,
Tie me down
I tell you, baby,
I cant, I cant stop now
I got an eye for a pretty girl,
An a sweet tooth for trouble
I cant stop, cant stop, cant stop now
I cant stop cause it tastes so good,
I got a sweet tooth
For trouble
No rest for the wicked, no peace of mind
When you got a jukebox heart
Working overtime
I maybe out of touch,
Maybe out of line
But, baby, you got your life
An I got mine
Somebody stop me,
Tie me down
I tell you, baby,
I cant, I cant stop now
I got an eye for a pretty girl,
An a sweet tooth for trouble
I cant stop, cant stop, cant stop now
I got an eye for a pretty girl,
An a sweet tooth for trouble
song performed by by Whitesnake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sweet Mystery - Song Lyrics
Walked into a store
Started talkin' bout the Lord
The people told me to leave
Didn't want to hear it anymore
So I walked away dismayed
They thought they were being played
But little do they know
With Him they'll have it made!
Chorus:
Did you ever wonder
Why things happen as they do
The puzzle pieces don't fit
It's the old that makes things new
Cause He takes what is broken
Gets everything all fixed
Does it simply with love
He don't use any tricks
What a sweet mystery!
When I was back in school
I always acted like a fool
People thought that I was messed
But I thought that I was cool
When I got a little older
I started getting colder
Life started getting tough
I never used His shoulder
I tried to do it all myself
Threw my problems on the shelf
Hoped they would just go away
Wasn't good for my health
Chorus X 2
Did I plant one of your seeds?
Can You tell me when it grows?
Can You let me in on your plan?
Are You the only one that knows?
Do you want to keep me guessing?
Are you going to use him too?
Is this all a part of Your will?
Is this what you called me to do?
Chorus
What a sweet mystery!
What a sweet mystery!
Was blind but now I see
It's such a sweet mystery
What a sweet mystery!
What a sweet mystery!
Was blind but now I see
It's such a sweet mystery
It's such a sweet mystery
It's such a sweet mystery
poem by Ryan Lee Morris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Her Gratuity
She had been a versatile woman,
Having worked as a cook, a keeper,
A sweeper, a cahier, a store-keeper,
A washer woman, a gate-keeper,
A nurse, a waiter, and an escort.
All she did under one master,
Her husband, who bequeathed to her
The widowhood as gratuity.
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You Look At Me As If You Are in Disbelief
Don't be ridiculous.
Of course I missed you.
I wasn't trying to avoid you.
For 'your' information.
I was hoping you would run after me,
Calling my name repeatedly.
Until you caught up with me.
One moment.
I have to catch my breath.
Whew.
Here we are.
Let's sit on this bench to chat.
Wave to the policeman.
Let him know we're okay.
WHY are you staring at me like that?
You are making me feel quite uncomfortable.
You've aged a bit.
But those track legs?
You've still got 'em.
See?
Just think of it.
If you hadn't kept in good shape,
We would not have met at all.
And stop looking at me like that.
IF I had wanted to ignore you,
Don't you think I would have found a better way,
To do it?
Geeesssshhh.
Don't be so suspicious.
I've been wanting to see you for years.
You look at me as if you are in disbelief?
It's me.
How've you been?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sauces In The Mouth
Satisfy us, the sauce is laid on the plate,
To sound like a train we munch on the crockery.
All of us are tame, men sweat due to food and water,
This ranch of dining musically swings with munching.
My food created the salmon in my mouth
To move in lovely rhythm with my tongue.
Its territory is tested, like all good men,
But the inner taste is subjected to the pleasures.
At the end of all this is bitter and sweet food
Being kept in batches for the stomach to design.
I have been satisfied by the ranch of food and dining,
The sauce is hot and sticky in the very district.
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Bewitched, Bothered And Bewildered
After one whole quart of brandy
Like a daisy, I'm awake
With no Bromo-Seltzer handy
I don't even shake
Men are not a new sensation
I've done pretty well I think
But this half-pint imitation
Put me on the blink
I'm wild again, beguiled again
A simpering, whimpering child again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I
Couldn't sleep and wouldn't sleep
When love came and told me, I shouldn't sleep
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I
Lost my heart, but what of it
He is cold I agree
He can laugh, but I love it
Although the laugh's on me
I'll sing to him, each spring to him
And long, for the day when I'll cling to him
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I
He's a fool and don't I know it
But a fool can have his charms
I'm in love and don't I show it
Like a babe in arms
Love's the same old sad sensation
Lately I've not slept a wink
Since this half-pint imitation
Put me on the blink
I've sinned a lot, I'm mean a lot
But I'm like sweet seventeen a lot
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I
I'll sing to him, each spring to him
And worship the trousers that cling to him
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I
When he talks, he is seeking
Words to get off his chest
Horizontally speaking, he's at his very best
Vexed again, perplexed again
Thank God, I can be oversexed again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - am I
Wise at last, my eyes at last,
Are cutting you down to your size at last
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered - no more
Burned a lot, but learned a lot
And now
song performed by by Ella Fitzgerald
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To write is a challenge, But to understand the writer is a mystery
Right now I am writing history
Amongst a million other writers
But what makes me different
from that never ending million?
Every word has a meaning, has
it's background, I, on the hand don't.
Just a meaningless word, nothing more
But a word it is, nothing less
To write is a challenge
But to understand the writer is a mystery.
Right. Write only with the mind and heart.
So powerful, So strong, So moving.
Today, Tomorrow a never ending cycle.
Today becomes history when tomorrow becomes today.
So right now I am writing history
But tomorrow it becomes forgotten
It will not be forgotten if the writer has a mystery to solve, so to write is a challenge but to understand the writer is a mystery.
poem by Lady Simple
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Such A Groovy Guy
I got my alligator boots I wear my pants skin tight
I wear my dark sunglasses in the middle of the night
And when I look in the mirror im-a such an awesome sight
It makes me wanna kneel down and pray
Im so charming and adorable Im sure that you can see
And everyones always trying to hang around with me
They tell me Im the greatest and its hard to disagree
cause Im so perfect in every way
And Im so cute I can hardly stand it
And Im so handsome honey I could just die
I know that youll never be as wonderful as me but at least you can try
cause Im such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Im such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Im such a groovy guy
Baby are you in the mood for a little romance?
Well for starters I can pour some chocolate pudding down your pants
And then attatch electrodes to your brain and watch you dance
Oh, golly wouldnt that be fun?
And then I might decide to tie you up with dental floss
Ill make you wear a harness and Ill show you whos the boss
Of course if you refuse, well honey its your loss
I mean I dont do this with just anyone.
So how can you say its all over?
So how can you tell me goodbye?
So now you tell me that youre leaving me for good
And all I wanna know is why
I mean after all Im really such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Im such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Im such a groovy guy
I mean you could do worse!
Im such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Im such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Such a groovy groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
Im such a groovy guy (such a groovy guy)
(to fade)
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cup Of Coffee
They told me you don't love me
Over a cup of coffee
And I just have to look away
A million miles between us
Planets crash into dust
I just let it fade away
I'm walking empty streets
Hoping we might meet
I see your car parked on the road
The light on at your window
I know for sure that you're home
And I just have to pass on by
So no
song performed by by Garbage
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cavity Search
Listenin to the muzak
Hearin people scream
Sittin in the waiting room
Readin crappy magazines
With a toothache
This is it, pal
Root canal
My molars are impacted
Im gettin gum disease
Im gonna need some fillings
Got twelve cavities
Can you help me
Have mercy
Doctor, please
My teeth are a fright
Got a huge overbite
Numb me, drill me
Floss me, bill me
You jab at my nerve endings
Its driving me insane
Just give me nitrous oxide
Shoot me up with novocaine
Help me out here
cause Im in severe
Pain
Please stop for a bit
Now let me rinse and spit
Numb me, drill me
Floss me, bill me
You validate my parking
I think that Im okay
But you my one more appointment for
A week from saturday
cause you came upon
A little problem on
My x-ray
Oy vey!
Its getting absurd
Well, I hope Im insured, now
Numb me, drill me
Floss me, bill me
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Narrow streets but join the roads
I was really frustrated about the last night's incident,
Dear brother, your helpless car stopped here to fuel the tank.
I understand you have to drive further.
But your wallet wasn't sound as same as my poor pocket.
The two dollar shinning bill which I gave to you is not enough
And the journey is far and rough.
Let the day comes the Automobiles could run with water.
But the water too expensive nowadays.
We are narrow streets chum!
But some day join the roads.
I wish you good luck Comrade
And let the free polluted air turns into fuel on your pleasant way.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered
[Rod Stewart]
After one whole quart of brandy
Like a daisy I awake
With no Bromo Seltzer handy,
I don't even shake.
[Cher]
Men are not a new sensation;
I've done pretty well, I think.
But this half-pint imitation
Put me on the blink
I'm wild again
Beguiled again
A simpering, whimpering child again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
[Rod Stewart]
Listen, baby
I couldn't sleep
And wouldn't sleep
Until I could sleep where I shouldn't sleep
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
[Cher]
Lost my heart but what of it?
My mistake I agree.
[Rod Stewart]
Oh she's such a laugh, and I love it
Although the laugh's on me.
[Cher]
Oohh I'll sing to him
Bring springs to him
And worship the trousers that cling to him
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Oh you're so cute
Oh she's kept enough, she's slept enough
And yet, where it counts she's adapt enough
[Cher] Aha
[Both]
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
[Cher]
When he talks he is seeking
Words to get off his chest.
[Rod Stewart]
Horizontally speaking
She's at her very best.
[Both]
Oh we've seen a lot
I mean a lot
And now we're like sweet seventeen a lot
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Oh, we're vexed again
Perplexed again
Thank God we can't be over-sexed again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
song performed by by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bewitched, Bothered & Bewildered (feat. Cher)
(Duet with Cher)
[Rod Stewart]
After one whole quart of brandy
Like a daisy I awake
With no Bromo Seltzer handy,
I don't even shake.
[Cher]
Men are not a new sensation;
I've done pretty well, I think.
But this half-pint imitation
Put me on the blink
I'm wild again
Beguiled again
A simpering, whimpering child again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
[Rod Stewart]
Listen, baby
I couldn't sleep
And wouldn't sleep
Until I could sleep where I shouldn't sleep
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
[Cher]
Lost my heart but what of it?
My mistake I agree.
[Rod Stewart]
Oh she's such a laugh, and I love it
Although the laugh's on me.
[Cher]
Oohh I'll sing to him
Bring springs to him
And worship the trousers that cling to him
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Oh you're so cute
Oh she's kept enough, she's slept enough
And yet, where it counts she's adapt enough
[Cher] Aha
[Both]
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
[Cher]
When he talks he is seeking
Words to get off his chest.
[Rod Stewart]
Horizontally speaking
She's at her very best.
[Both]
Oh we've seen a lot
I mean a lot
And now we're like sweet seventeen a lot
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
Oh, we're vexed again
Perplexed again
Thank God we can't be over-sexed again
Bewitched, bothered and bewildered am I
song performed by by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Not because we are friends
Not because we are friends then I will
Be dishonest, calling a spade a diamond,
I don’t work that way, ugly is ugly
Pretty is pretty, and bad is bad and
Good is good to me, no matter what,
And you show me your face with a
New haircut, and ask me if you look
Good, and I say, you look the other
Way around, is the barber still alive?
Then you show me your poem that you
Wrote last night, and you ask me
What do you think? I think it is
I take a look, read a while and
Twitch my face many times than usual
Garbage, throw it in the wastebasket
And you say I am cruel, I am inconsi-
Derate about how you feel. I am
Telling you, you are my friend and
We are friends because we are honest.
Why not try writing another one again?
I will not teach you though, I write so
Bad myself, feeling so bad, but I will not stop
Being myself & be my harshest critique
I bought another trashcan, bigger this time.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Stating It Simply.. So, You'll Understand
It isn't always me..
But this is your flawed method of communication
I told you it's confusing..
I am not the one
Telling you I'm longing for you
If you notice, If you'll bother to recall
The few times I've communicated
There's a pattern
As for never going home again,
Don't I know it..
I lost my home at twenty six
It was devastating
But,
I picked myself up
Mended myself
And, everything since
Has been cake..
I've been trying to tell you
Not everything is about you
I write to express myself
But,
For you to take it all so personally..
I was here long before you found me
I tried to go away
And,
Your response was
'What happened...You'
I don't know what's going on with you
Change of heart, change of mind,
But
The LAST thing I would do
Is hold this..
Whatever it was
Against you..
We both participated
To an extent
And, you have to admit I wasn't the one who started it
I don't even know how I let you in
I'm pretty good at keeping my walls up
Oh, that's right
You researched me
'All Quite on the Western Front'.. Indeed
But, I don't think I've done anything but carry myself with decorum
If I hadn't, by now, you'd know where my birth mark is
As for everything else
LIKE I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU
NO Worries
However, for appearance sake
All I ask
Is we continue to act like friends
You do what you need to do
I can't believe that you would think I would impose myself on you,
Seriously?
And,
You think I have a big head? ? ?
I'm hoping this clarifies things for you
And, you can breathe
And, stop freaking out, or whatever it is your doing
You forget.. I understand
I can LOL..'Never Go Home Again'
I'm the one who wrote it
I'm the one with the minor in English
So,
No need to beat me over the head with it
The only thing that pi**es me off,
Is you would think I would be that desperate
That, I couldn't let it go
Seriously?
If you recall..I was the one who stopped all correspondence
You were the one with the curiosity
So,
I guess this time it's better
Because it's on your terms..
Anyway,
Good luck with everything.
Peace.
poem by Rabia Minhas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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We will strengthen our security by building missile defense, restoring our military might, and standing by and strengthening our intelligence officers.
quote by Mitt Romney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Young, Dumb & Ugly
We're dangerous dudes, we got bad attitudes
Most of our brain cells are gone
We were born to be bad, you better not make us mad
Or we just might toilet paper your lawn
We got a reputation 'round these parts
We only leave a ten percent tip
Sometimes we don't return our shoping carts
Stay out of our way and don't you give us no lip
'cause we're young... dumb and ugly
That's what we are
We're so young... young, dumb and ugly
We wear black leather in the hottest weather
You can't imagine the smell
We got three-day stubble, our names spell trouble
T-r-u-b-e-l
Reaisin' hell, bendin' the rules just a little
We're livin' only for thrills
We squeeze our tooothpaste tubes from the middle
And wait until the last minute to pay our telephone bills
'cause we're young... dumb and ugly
You better believe it
We're young... young, dumb and ugly
I'll tell you again
We're so young... young, dumb and ugly
We're comin' to your town
Yeah, we're young... young, dumb and ugly
We're wild, reckless men, we're on a rampage again
We drive with just one hand on the wheel
Danger's in our soul, we're goin' out of control
Swimmin' right after a big heavy meal
We're there wherever trouble's starting
We're rebels without a clue
We drink milk right from the carton
And keep our library books 'till they're way overdue
'cause we're young... dumb and ugly
That's what we are
We're so young... young, dumb and ugly
You can't stop us
We're young... we're so young, dumb and ugly
Young, dumb & ugly
We're young... we're young, dumb and ugly
So ugly
Young... dumb... & ugly
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Overnight Observation
(j. farrar/t. snow)
Looks like Im the only one here
Even the nurse is gone
But I guess I should wait cause when she left, she said
The doctor wont be long
So make yourself at home
His office is down the hall
Why do I feel uneasy?
I know he must be good
Got credentials all over the wall
I hear a voice behind me say
What seems to be the trouble, my dear?
Wont you be kind enough to step over here
It might be fever
It might be flu
To isolate it, Ill have to hold you
Overnight (observation)
Overnight (observation)
In my opinion
All we can do to isolate it
Ill hold you overnight (observation)
Overnight (observation)
Please dont think me ungrateful
But holding me overnight
Seems a little extreme
Do you always serve martinis
And turn the lights down low
Doctor, do your colleagues know?
Although you say its good for me
I really dont feel like dancing now
Somebodys waiting
And Im double-parked anyhow
It might be fever
It might be flu
To isolate it, Ill have to hold you
Overnight (observation)
Overnight (observation)
In my opinion
All we can do to isolate it
Ill hold you overnight (observation)
Overnight (observation)
Now, I may look stupid
But Ill tell you what, Ive been around a long time
And I thought I had heard everything
I tell you, they keep coming up with them
I just couldnt believe my ears when he said:
Kick off your shoes, relax my dear
Slip into something comfortable
Two seconds flat, Im out the door and down the hall
It might be fever
It might be flu
To isolate it, Ill have to hold you
Overnight (observation)
Overnight (observation)
In my opinion
All we can do to isolate it
Ill hold you overnight (observation)
Overnight (observation)
song performed by by Olivia Newton-John
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Young, Dumb Ugly
Were dangerous dudes, we got bad attitudes
Most of our brain cells are gone
We were born to be bad, you better not make us mad
Or we just might toilet paper your lawn
We got a reputation round these parts
We only leave a ten percent tip
Sometimes we dont return our shoping carts
Stay out of our way and dont you give us no lip
cause were young... dumb and ugly
Thats what we are
Were so young... young, dumb and ugly
We wear black leather in the hottest weather
You cant imagine the smell
We got three-day stubble, our names spell trouble
T-r-u-b-e-l
Reaisin hell, bendin the rules just a little
Were livin only for thrills
We squeeze our tooothpaste tubes from the middle
And wait until the last minute to pay our telephone bills
cause were young... dumb and ugly
You better believe it
Were young... young, dumb and ugly
Ill tell you again
Were so young... young, dumb and ugly
Were comin to your town
Yeah, were young... young, dumb and ugly
Were wild, reckless men, were on a rampage again
We drive with just one hand on the wheel
Dangers in our soul, were goin out of control
Swimmin right after a big heavy meal
Were there wherever troubles starting
Were rebels without a clue
We drink milk right from the carton
And keep our library books till theyre way overdue
cause were young... dumb and ugly
Thats what we are
Were so young... young, dumb and ugly
You cant stop us
Were young... were so young, dumb and ugly
Young, dumb & ugly
Were young... were young, dumb and ugly
So ugly
Young... dumb... & ugly
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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