With Assistance You Can Win Back Your Pride
I'm not an ''alkie'' but I enjoy a drink,
My intake I can never remember,
My friends are saying I'm on the brink,
Of the pub I'm an honorary member.
I never take notes of how much I've had,
Nor how many times I go out,
They look upon me as a Jack the lad,
I certainly don't behave like a lout.
Am I aggressive well that would depend?
I don't go looking for fights,
But if I'm pushed myself I'll defend,
I'm entitled to protect my rights.
I miss the odd workday here and there,
But that's nothing to do with the booze,
So before you start let me make you aware,
I will always do what I choose.
Drink has no bearing on my state of health,
I'm as fit as an athlete I'd say,
I'll admit it does take its toll on my wealth,
But I'm fine when I get my next pay.
I always had company but not anymore,
They're saying I was becoming a pain,
When drinking my aggression would come to the fore,
I'll never speak to any of them again.
I drink alone now I can take what I like,
I'm sick of them nipping my head,
Every one of them can go take a hike,
I enjoy getting out of my head.
I buy from superstores and corner shops,
You get far more booze for your money,
In the public bars you get charged for their slops,
With my cargo I'm the bee in the honey.
I've lost my job now why I don't know,
They're saying I was out of control,
Being blind drunk at work I'd hit a new low,
A hair of the dog I would always extol.
I don't have a problem despite what they say,
That's what I wanted to believe,
At least that's the message I was trying to convey,
It was myself I was trying to deceive.
I controlled alcohol not the other way round,
My dependency I would try to defend,
All over the house there was drink to be found,
My condition I could no longer defend.
The next thing I knew I had lost my house,
My wife couldn't stand all the lying,
She said my behaviour was that of a louse,
That she couldn't bear to watch me dying.
My children and parents tried their best,
But their moaning I could no longer stand,
They were just the same as all the rest,
Being deceitful and so underhand.
My ill health was something I wouldn't admit,
Though at times it made me quite pensive,
Despite my state I refused to quit,
My addiction was far too extensive.
I looked in the mirror and thought of the cost,
Was this worth losing all that I love?
Staring back was this stranger I thought I had lost,
This was divine intervention from above.
I'm an alcoholic I finally admitted,
The reality then hit me in the face,
The pieces of this jigsaw finally fitted,
To those around me I have been a disgrace.
It was then I tasted some humble pie,
Friends and family then all rallied round,
They told me they didn't want to see me die,
Working together a new start could be found.
My liver was ravaged beyond repair,
Though it's not alcohol, on which I'll lay blame,
The fault lies with me, fair and square,
Blaming others well that's pretty lame.
I'm well on the road to recovery now,
No alcohol is how I must live,
It's now I admit I was addicted and how,
Abuse of alcohol just does not forgive.
There is a road back that you can pursue,
But only you and you alone can decide,
If you have the willpower to see it through,
'' With Assistance You Can Win Back Your Pride ''
Related quotes
I'm The Widow Of An Alcoholic
He was mild mannered and I loved him so much,
When we met I knew he was the one,
If I was ever in trouble he was always my crutch,
But inside he was a smoking gun.
We'd enjoy a beer and a glass of fine wine,
Enjoy burgers at the barbecue,
With friends and family we'd usually dine,
Then the odd drink became more than a few.
The man we loved became snappy,
Saying things we could not understand,
He would suddenly become so unhappy,
Soon his comments would get out of hand.
He'd shout at the children for just breathing,
Leaving them totally fraught,
His behaviour would then have me seething,
Which would leave us all feeling distraught.
The following day when he got out of bed,
I would try to take him to task,
When I asked him about those things he'd said,
His reply was always, '' please don't ask ''
Was it pressure of work or was it just me,
My excuses became pretty lame,
Because I loved him I refused to see,
It was him who was entirely to blame.
He started to come home smelling of drink,
To say obnoxious is me being mild,
I had to find out just what was the link,
We did not deserve being reviled.
I started to find alcohol all over the house,
In wardrobes and under the stairs,
Half empty bottles hidden by my spouse,
When confronted he'd say, '' who cares ''
He wouldn't talk he'd refuse to discuss,
His only comment was, '' I've nothing to say ''
Apart from the fact I was making a fuss,
About nothing as things were okay.
His friends and family then disappeared,
They just couldn't take any more,
His alcohol problems were far worse than feared,
What is happening to the man we adore.
He then lost his license he could no longer drive,
After that he lost his employment,
As time went by his health took a dive,
He was losing his sense of enjoyment.
We all tried our best but it was never enough,
Then came the physical abuse,
It was then I decided, yes it was tough,
I wouldn't listen to another excuse.
We gave up our life we gave up trying,
Though we'd struggled for so many years,
We could no longer watch the man we love dying,
He was confirming all our worst fears.
He gave up his children he deserted his wife,
Before we knew it he'd become overawed,
His addiction took over his entire life,
When alcohol became his one God.
Drink will destroy you if you lose control,
It will fill your whole life with regret,
On all those around you it will take it's toll,
That's something you must never forget.
Yes it's addictive but you can get assistance,
But that decision must come from ''YOUR'' heart,
If you continue your denial and total resistance,
Your whole world will be torn apart.
The misuse of booze affects far more than you,
There are many others who will end up abused,
You'll end up in the gutter that much is true,
For your addiction you will stand accused.
Alcohol is a killer so don't be misled,
It isn't all about fun and frolic,
How do I know that you'll end up dead,
‘' I'm The Widow Of An Alcoholic ‘'
One's Addictive Behaviour
To alcohol he lost his young daughter and wife
He says they were not wrong to walk out of his life
For addictive behaviour the price one must pay
And he is one person who sees it this way.
To keep on drinking alcohol the choice he did make
Though he knew in his heart that this was a mistake
He made the wrong choice with his marriage at stake
One's addictive behaviour can cause others heartbreak.
One's addictive behaviour can come at a huge cost
With abuse of health and broken marriages so much to be lost
An addiction of any sort is not a good thing
And the praises of addictive behaviour you won't hear many sing.
For the break up of his marriage his wife he does not blame
Though that he chose alcohol above her and their daughter does cause him some shame
But at conquering an addiction few seem to succeed
'Tis a human frailty the weakness of need.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Alcohol
Here is a story about a sinner,
He used to be a winner who enjoyed a life of prominence and position,
But the pressures at the office and his socialite engagements,
And his selfish wifes fanatical ambition,
It turned him to the booze,
And he got mixed up with a floosie
And she led him to a life of indecision.
The floosie made him spend his dole
She left him lying on skid row
A drunken lag in some salvation army mission.
Its such a shame.
Oh demon alcohol,
Sad memories I cannot recall,
Who thought I would say,
Damn it all and blow it all,
Oh demon alcohol,
Memories I cannot recall,
Who thought I would fall a slave to demon alcohol.
Barley wine pink gin,
Hell drink anything,
Port, pernod or tequila,
Rum, scotch, vodka on the rocks,
As long as all his troubles disappeared.
But he messed up his life and he beat up his wife,
And the floosies gone and found another sucker
Shes gonna turn him on to drink
Shes gonna lead him to the brink
And when his moneys gone,
Shell leave him in the gutter,
Its such a shame.
Oh demon alcohol,
Sad memories I cannot recall,
Who thought I would fall,
A slave to demon alcohol.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Demon Alcohol
Im sick and tired of your excuses
Cant deal with living anymore
Ill give you reasons to continue
While you lie writing on the floor
Ill wash away your lies
And have you hypnotized
Therell be no compromise today
Ill share your life of shame
I think you know my name
Ill introduce myself today
Im the demon alcohol
Demon alcohol
Ill get you
If you could deal with your reflection
Im sure youd see into my eyes
Therell be no need for resurrection
Lets drink to people of the lies
Although that ones too much
You know tens not enough
Therell be no compromise today
Ill watch you lose control
Consume your very soul
Ill introduce myself today
Im the demon alcohol
Demon alcohol
Ha ha
Demon alcohol
Demon alcohol, lets party
(demon alcohol)
(Im the demon alcohol)
Im sick and tired of resolutions
Youve quit me time and time again
Dont speak of suicide solutions
You took my hand, Im here to stay
This time its you or me
Ill never set you free
Therell be no compromise today
So satisfy your lust
Too much cant be enough
Ill introduce myself today
Im the demon alcohol
The demon alcohol
Aha
Demon alcohol
Demon alcohol
Lets party
song performed by by Ozzy Osbourne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Don't Ever Drink And Drive
I never thought about accidents,
When I drove my souped up car,
I thought I was invincible,
Admired from afar.
There was no one else could touch me,
Those others could only dream.
When I had that drink in me,
My God was I was supreme,
I always took a drink or two,
Before getting behind the wheel,
Alcohol gives you confidence,
It enhances the way you feel.
I didn't need to drink too much,
Just enough to get me by,
Laws were made to be broken,
To me they don't apply.
Nobody would accompany me,
Which always made me think,
Are they scared because I drive so fast,
Or because I drive with drink.
I thought my friends admired me,
They'd say I was over zealous,
Their comments only made me think,
That they were all just jealous.
Little did I realise then,
My actions made them frown,
Instead of being their hero,
I was looked on as a clown.
Driving with a drink in me,
Had never held any fears,
I never gave it a second thought,
That it would all end in tears.
I drove down to the bar one night,
Then I sat and had a few,
I came out and jumped behind the wheel,
I'd show them what I could do.
As I sped along the highway,
Here was I the king,
I thought I was immortal,
What more could my life bring.
Just then there was a mighty crash,
What in Gods name had I done,
There was blood and gore everywhere,
This was no longer fun.
As I left my car I froze with fear,
There were bodies all around,
They were all lying lifeless,
Not one of them made a sound.
I knew I had to run away,
What a low down skunk, ,
I knew that I'd be sent to jail,
For driving whilst drunk.
Just then the police approached me,
I didn't know what to say,
They told me I'd caused total carnage,
For that there'd be a price to pay.
Tonight there'll be families grieving,
What you've done they won't forgive,
Because of your selfish actions,
Their kin no longer live.
Those parents have lost their children,
Yes it's solely down to me,
A thoughtless drunken lowlife,
So I beg you all to see.
Our actions have a consequence,
Some good while others bad,
To drive with just one drink in you,
Is totally and utterly mad.
Families are left distraught with grief,
Because I just didn't care,
I chose to drive while I was drunk,
Now they're left in despair.
Millions do it every day,
They don't give it a second thought,
It really only hits you,
'' WHEN '', not if you're caught.
I'm lucky, I'm in prison now,
Alive and in my bed,
My victims weren't so fortunate,
Five of them are dead.
It's too late to say I'm sorry now,
But while I'm still alive,
Please listen to my plea to you,
‘' Don't Ever Drink And Drive''.
I don't even drink! I can't stand the taste of alcohol. Every New Year's Eve I try one drink and every time it makes me feel sick. So I don't touch booze - I'm always the designated driver.
quote by Kim Kardashian
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Quart In Session
Its funny how nothing seems much fun
Anymore to me now that I quit the drink
cause soberness, it might be what I need
But its certainly not how I wanna be
Nothing seems much fun anymore to me
Consequence never had anytime to think
About what coulda, shoulda, happen to me
C-common sense my parents said i
Didnt have any, but now look whose
Got the dough
No longer born to lose
Put away my party shoes
Missin the alcohol
Dont feel like goin out
Nothing worth singin about
Missin the alcohol
Without tonic n gin
Without no vicodin
Nothing seems much fun anymore to me (x4)
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Case Of The Demon Drink
How many times have we heard
alcohol called the demon drink,
many.many times I suppose,
but there is no such thing as the demon drink.
Now when Jesus turned water into wine,
I’m sure that he didn’t put any demons in it
just to spice it up.
The demon drink as it is called
originated with the Temperance Movement.
Astonishing enough the movement was not started
by a woman, but was formed by a man.
What I am about to tell you
is the untold story about its origins.
It all started in the early 1800’s
with Henry Whittle and his wife Gertrude.
Now Henry was a boozer
who could lay the drink down
with the best of them.
One night he got carried away
on a sea of alcohol.
He went so far that
he wasn’t sure just where he lived.
He left his friends at the bar
and off he staggered.
He found the street where he lived
and staggered down it.
What house did he live at he wasn’t really sure.
All he knew was his Gertrude
always left the door unlocked for him.
He began to try the doors one by one,
when one opened
he quickly stumbled in.
He climbed the stairs as quietly as he could,
shucking his clothes as he went.
Until finally all that he had on
was his red long johns and his boots.
He tiptoed along to the bedroom
where he could hear Gertrude snoring.
Moving inside he climbed into bed.
What Henry didn’t know
he was in the wrong house.
The house belonged to Pierre the lumberjack,
and when he climbed into bed,
he climbed in bed it was with Pierre.
As you don’t cut down trees in the winter,
Pierre had come home.
He was a big man
with a big red Santa Claus beard,
and Henry had crawled into bed with him.
Morning awoke and so did Henry
just as Pierre rolled over.
Henry stared wide-eyed,
confronting the bushy whiskers of Pierre.
Henry’s first thoughts were
Gertrude had grown a beard overnight.
He rolled his eyes around
staring at the bushy faced figure,
then realise it was not Gertrude, but Pierre.
You can imagine his horror
as he slipped out of bed,
gathered up his clothes and ran.
Getting outside he darted up the road
with the back of his red long johns flapping.
People in the street looked around
at Henry doing a moony
and shook their heads.
We can imagine what they were thinking.
Finally, Henry got home
and who was waiting for him,
Gertrude with a rolling pin in hand.
“What floozy were you with last night? ”
She asked. “Don’t you like to me.”
Before Henry could answer,
the rolling pin came down
and Henry saw stars.
As a consequence,
Henry never drank again.
He tried to encourage his friends
to do the same.
The Temperance Movement was born
and Henry’s alcoholic demons
died of dehydration.
After that, he walked around
with a sign saying
DOWN WITH THE DEMON DRINK.
1 April 2008
Happy April Fools Day.
Hoping no one fooled you today.
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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By your side
I stand watching you throw away your life
you are wearing a wedding ring
yet you have lost your wife
because you look around the room
and you cant find your pride
I stand by your side.
What do you have?
you say you have nothing
but you cant see what you have lost
and you say you will stop
but the drink is all you have got
you look around
and you cant find your pride
I stand by your side.
Your face is cut from a drunken fight
and every morning is a drunken night
the poison you persist must take your sight
leaving you with not one brain cell left
the alcohol has gone to your head
a park bench has become your bed.
I stand by your side unlike your health
but I cant help unless you help yourself
what do you have? Look.
See you cant find your pride.
Understand I cant stand by your side.
poem by Daniel McCann
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Self Destruction
I’ve walked the road of self destruction and despair
I know- for I’ve been there.
I’ve been and seen the alcohol and drug abuse
I thought fighting it was of no use
So many times I had sank
Because of the alcohol I had drank.
Then I woke up one day and thought
There is only two ways out
I could crawl in a corner and die
Or I could stop these excuses and lies.
I fell to my knees and with
the tears rolling down my eyes
I screamed to the lord to help me
In this sorrowful place
And to bless me with his grace.
I felt a hand upon my shoulder
And with a sense of belief
I knew he heard me and I felt relief.
I got up and never looked back again
For in my heart that past did end.
poem by Louis Rams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It Runs In The Family!
The uncle is a barfly and he's
Locked up in jail for jay walking on a
Holy Sunday morning to the nineteenth hole
It runs in the blood of this alcohol ravaged
Family and the father is dying of the liver
Cirrhosis but he's adamant that he won't
Give up his love of the bottle and he has fled
From the hospital to drink himself to death
It has brought shame and untold suffering
To this family but the mother is an alcoholic
Par excellence and she will drink until she
Can no longer stand and she urinates on herself
She is gang raped by the drunkards the baby in
Her arms is in danger of suffocating in the
Vomit of the soused mother from hell
It runs in the family!
The daughter is an exhibitonist who likes
To expose what her grand mama gave her in public
The girl is a public nuisance and she has grabbed
The headlines of the rumor mill for a glass of beer
It runs in the family!
And the son has been hauled off to
The mental institution and this soused drunk family
Do you think they care?
Do you run a rehabilitation program that will
Save the alcoholics them from themselves?
poem by Ngaka Motaung
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Who Would You Say Is Addicted
I swallow tablets every day,
They're required for my afflictions,
I never will get hooked on them,
They're all on repeat prescriptions.
I drink some alcohol every day,
Just to be sociable you understand,
I buy it from the pubs and shops,
But I never get out of hand.
I take a pill before I drink,
To subdue my raw aggression,
I also take another one,
This conquers my depression.
I gain comfort from my pills and booze,
So with my appetite to whet,
I go and get my lighter,
Then smoke a cigarette.
I also frequent the bookies,
Where I like to put on a line,
Although I usually lose my stake,
To gamble is just divine.
As I look at all my habits,
None of them hold fears,
I've smoked, I've drank and gambled,
I've shed my share of tears.
Everything thing I do in life,
I stay well within the law,
As I look upon this life of mine,
I cannot find one flaw.
I can boast without a doubt,
Without the need for altercation,
I don't have any issues,
My habits fill me with elation.
I really have a problem though,
With Alkies and those Junkies,
They drink too much and swallow drugs,
They're all a bunch of flunkies.
One needs his bevy every day,
While the other needs his dope,
They smoke their gear, drink all day,
For them there is no hope.
They swallow pills like sweeties,
Some of them inject,
The police should just arrest them all,
Our honour they must protect.
They gamble daily with their lives,
It really makes you sick,
They have a choice the same as me,
But I'm clever, they're all thick.
They'll make the claim they're like that,
Because they feel oppressed,
They need to take their drink and drugs,
We've got them all depressed.
Most of what they do in life,
Is done without a thought,
They carry out illegal acts,
Then hope they don't get caught.
Who do they think they're kidding,
They're just a bunch of thugs,
Why can't they live the same as me,
Lay off the booze and drugs.
They need to stop this gambling,
Their habits cause such a stink,
The depression and the violence,
Is the result of this crucial link.
When you look at both these stories,
Although both equally afflicted,
You be judge and jury,
‘' Who Would You Say Is Addicted''
You Drink, You Drive, You Spill
I say dont drink and drive
You might spill your drink
Before you get behind
That wheel, just stop & think
You can take you chances
But theres so much to lose
Another bumpy road,
Theres so much wasted booze
Im not so worried
About how many I kill
Im much more concerned
With how much beer I spill
35% of accidents
Are caused by pixilated
The other 65 are not
Alcohol related
What does this tell us
About the drunk drivers
They seem to have a
Better record than
The sober team
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Not Tonight
Like a Siren calling me
Relentlessly to death,
My latent love of alcohol
haunts my every breath.
It started out quite innocent-
A scotch sipped here and there-
Progressing by degrees into
a sordid love affair.
A beer or three drunk at the game
And I was good company.
But, starting in the parking lot
I got disorderly.
Once a few drinks were consumed
Cold winter evenings lost their gloom-
Until my wife divorced me-
Now I live in rented rooms.
I managed, barely, while at work
I’ve got a union card.
I was often absent Mondays
which my boss thought very odd.
I had to find myself some help
To rise from my despair-
Wednesday nights in my church basement
There’s an A.A. meeting there.
I have a mentor guiding me
He’s been to Hell and back.
He always takes my phone calls
when Johnnie Walker wants me back..
And so I will not drink today
Ten weeks now I’ve been sober.
I spilled the drink into the sink-
I think… I hope it’s over.
While this is a work of fiction, it is a true story for many friends of Bill W.
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Sobering Tale.
Sometimes he sits, sometimes he thinks.
At other times combines the two
More frequently he sits and drinks.
Because he cannot bear the view.
The only view that he can see
through pain filled eyes awash with tears.
He can remember vividly.
The promise of his early years.
When he was young and full of hope.
He had the whole world by the tail
But later found he could not cope,
although he tried to no avail.
Discovering that a drink or two
helped to alleviate the stress
A sorry story nothing new
His life became a complete mess.
He lost his job it had to come.
His drinking led to a divorce.
His wife then claimed the family home.
His life sped on it’s downwards course.
A friend became his enemy
because he let it take control.
It took him over completely.
Dependent now on alcohol.
No longer does he drink from choice
That luxury is now denied.
He drinks to still the nagging voice
which urges him to suicide.
Today he’s just a drunken bum
with nothing to look forward to.
Bar cheap red wine to make him numb
albeit temporarily.
Sometimes he sits, sometimes he thinks
sometimes he can combine the two.
More often though he sits and drinks
There’s nothing he would rather do.
10/10/2009
http: // blog.myspace.com/poeticpiers
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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12 Steps of Bad Poets Anonymous
1. I recognize that I’ve written more trash than anything worthwhile,
And I’m therefore committed to change my ludicrous lifestyle.
2. I give my life up to the Bottle to grant me genius that I miss
And beg forgiveness of bad poets whose asses that I used to kiss.
3. For I’m powerless without it - the mighty strength of Alcohol -
That gives me boundless inspiration, while sitting in a toilet stall.
4. No matter how great the effort, I cannot write a goddamned thing
Without my daily meditation with an alcoholic drink.
5. I drink and I become awakened to all the beauty that’s within
Those sparkling ice cubes in my cognac, my vodka, whiskey, rum and gin.
6. I seek a moral higher ground within my realm of Alcohol,
That grants me peace and inner virtues, that I revere and extol.
7. Let’s drink away our shortcomings until our heads begin to spin,
Until we all become connected to our geniuses within.
8. Let our words become true hammers to dropp upon the sleeping minds,
To guide them from their lives of error, from pastures ignorant and blind.
9. Each day I make another toast to the Holy Ghost of Alcohol
And pray that it may give me guidance and peace to my tormented soul.
10. I’m no Byron, no Shakespeare, no Baudelaire, nor Rimbaud,
But every drink makes me immortal and fills me with supernal awe.
11. It’s when my Atman becomes Brahman, my inner I, the God within,
And I begin to feel that oneness with the Eternal Everything.
12. With every glass of wine and brandy, with every alcoholic drink
I change into the Master Poet, like Rumi on an angel’s wing.
August 16,2010
poem by Alexander Shaumyan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When You Want Something You Can't Have
I can still remember all the pain that I felt, I can't believe that back then the thought of you, or sound of your voice could make me melt
I can still remember all the pain that you caused and how in the end my heart was the one shattered in pieces on the floor, but what I can't believe is that after all that I just wanted you more
It was like I was the stupid moth to your flame, and in the end I got burned and have only myself to blame, I knew I couldn't have you but that didn't stop me from wanting you, I guess I hoped maybe deep down inside you wanted me too
I knew from the start liking you was pointless, but that didn't stop me and in the end I was the one cleaning up my big mess
To make matters worse you knew how I felt all along, I pegged you for a kind, sweet guy but in the end I guess I was wrong
Back then it felt like the worse kind of pain and it felt like i couldn't go on, but looking back on it now, I realized it made me smarter and it made me strong
So in the end even though I was the that was one hurting oh so bad, I must admit as I look back on it I'm kind of glad, because you taught me a valuable lesson in what happens when you want something you can't have
poem by Tiger Lily Love
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The house on henderson
I can remember all the times
When we would go blind
We would be dead on our feet
But it was fine we had good times
In the House on Henderson Street
We would play our music
And sing our songs
And drink in the heat
When the air wasn't on
In the cold, rain or shine, through hail and sleet
We always had good times
In the house on Henderson street
We would have kegs in the kitchen
And I was itching
For that sweet feeling in my mind
Throw a tire on the roof, scream in the streets
Filled up with alcohol, lets get something to eat.
Though my memories are hazy
And the nights were crazy
I wont forget the people we'd meet
But it was fine we had good times
At the house on Henderson street.
It was fine when we lost our minds
At the house on Henderson street.
poem by Blaine McCanless
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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So Here I Am
There you are, here I am
Holding back, what I wish to say again
I can do it, but I can't seem to find the words
So I keep to myself, so sheltered
And once you leave, they come right back
But I don't have the courage to state the fact
Because I don't want changes to be
And I don't want you different towards me
So I kept, it to, myself
I knew what I wanted us to be
But I kept, it to, myself
And held it in when I wanted to speak
So here I am.
Now we're 16, at a party, of a friend of mine
You are here, and I wanted to say it, this time
But then I saw her, she kissed you
That struck deep; I broke in two
So I stayed there, all alone
And lost my chance to say it before you took her home
And once you left, they come right back
But I don't have the courage to state the fact
Because I don't want changes to be
And I don't want you different towards me
So I kept, it to, myself again
I knew what I wanted to say, everything
But I kept, it to, myself again
And held it in when I wanted to speak
So here I am.
Now we're 23
And I’m in the back row, of your wedding
Cause I didn't want anyone to see, the tears that I cried-
Not for her, but for you and me, and what we should be
Should I object? Make my move?
But by the time I made up my mind, the whole thing was through
And once you left, they come right back
But I didn't have the courage to state the fact
And I didn't want to confuse your wedding day
But I can't stand to watch you walk away
So I kept, it to, myself
I felt some hope, of what we could be
But I kept, it to, myself
And held it in when I wanted to speak
So here I am.
Now we’re 40, and look how big your kids have grown
Sometimes as I hug them, I still wish they were my own
And I still feel that light still burning; maybe it's not too late
But then I look into the eyes of your family, and I don't want to make a mistake
And once you leave the feelings come right back
But I didn't have the courage, to state the fact
Because I don't want to ruin, your family
And I don't them to think less of me
So I kept, it to, myself
I felt some hope, of what we could be
But I kept, it to, myself
And held it in when I wanted to speak
So here I am.
Now we're 70, and your great grandchildren are born
And I can see your face, through everyone
And sometimes when you're on your porch, I still want make a move
But I just stay inside, like an old ladies supposed to do
And once you leave, the feelings come right back
But I didn't have the courage, to state the fact
Because I don't want to ruin, your family
And I don't them to think of me differently
So I kept, it to, myself
Wishing I hadn't taken so long to believe
But I kept, it to, myself
And held it in when I wanted to speak
So here I am.
Now we're 90, and I'm at your funeral
Oh how these years went by so quickly, it's hard to believe you're gone
And I'm infuriated with myself, for not acing fast
And upset, because I never took that chance
So finally to the grave, I am able to say:
Now that you're gone, the feelings come right back
I now have to courage, to state the fact
But I am too late, waited too long
To take the chance, I dreamed upon
And I’ve I kept, it to, myself
Wishing I hadn't taken so long believe
I’ve kept, it all to, myself
And held it in when I wanted to speak
So here I am, without you
Sleeping these nights alone
So here I am, without you
Wishing, I would have came forward
So here I am.
And you're no where, to be seen
So here I am, without you
Missing you desperately
Now I'm at my funeral, on my way, to heaven
On my way to God, and still wishing for that blessing
And right when I walk in, through those pearly golden gates
You're right where I wanted, and finally I get my chance to say
And now we're here, the feelings came right back
I now have to courage, to state the fact
Because now you're here
And now I'm here
And I'm no longer, keeping this to myself
Because I've waited my whole life just to tell you how I felt
So here I am, with you
No longer, sleeping these nights alone
So here I am, with you
Proud that I finally came forward
So here I am.
poem by Sugar Bear
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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For My Foster Sister (about growing up with mom drunk)
We used to run through the sprinkler
we double jumped & skipped rope
we danced along to the radio
our lives were filled with hope
then something made her dad leave
and soon her mom was always drunk
she didn't have clean clothes to wear
she often felt like a dirty punk
she didn't have anyone to talk to
and the shades were always pulled tight
her mom didn't want any noise
and hated when she turned on the light
she no longer made her lunch
and asleep when she came home
she wore a ratty bathrobe
and never used a comb
it's a good thing the house was paid for
so she never had to sleep in the street
but if she didn't cash in coke bottles
she would never have anything to eat
nobody ever called the cops
they lived out towards the woods
she learned how to steal real well
and that's how she brought home goods
Mom used her welfare money
to buy her favorite drink
she ate all her leftovers
and put dishes in the sink
She didn't want a foster family
but was too scared not to tell
the day she found her on the floor
she told me her mom wasn't well
But instead of speaking out
She left home that day
she slept under the railway pass
got to school, ran all the way
We don't know who called the cops
but they cornered her in the hall
took her to the counselors office
where she stood against the wall
They told her - she had to move
in with a foster family
She didn't want to leave her mom
but is how it was to be
She cried at the funeral
for a mom who wasn't there
and moved around a lot after that
her mom's death too much to bear
She graduated college
just the other day
that foster family that took her in
we helped her make her own way
She never thought she'd love again
after her mom was gone
but we've learned a lot since then
and we know her mom was wrong
When her dad left he took her pride
and she lost all control
she couldn't raise her by herself
with booze she drowned her soul
We've been to her grave
and planted a flower cover
cause even though she was a drunk
she still her mother
poem by Linda Racaniello
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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