Being A Politician Can't Be Beat
What does it take to be a politician?
Well your demeanour has to be cheesy,
Then you must make it your life's mission,
To be a cretin who is dishonest and sleazy.
Pretend to your constituents you really care,
Then put on an, ‘' I'm genuine ‘' façade,
Make it your duty to make voters aware,
When speaking for them you will not be afraid.
Any promises you make must always be kept,
At least make it look that way,
Any problems, under the carpet they're swept,
Make your constituents think they have a say.
No conscience allowed when you fail to deliver,
That's one you get used to quite quick,
Drink in subsidised bars while destroying your liver,
Then blame the electorate for making you sick.
When claiming expenses anything goes,
Pet food, a visit to the loo,
Every year our expense list grows,
That's just what politicians do.
Ask seasoned colleagues just what you can steal,
But don't ask them to put it in writing,
If you ever get caught they're out of the deal,
You'll have to do your own fighting.
Being at fault one always denies,
You must blame the lot before,
You'll soon get used to telling blatant lies,
Before long you'll be rotten to the core.
Keep in with big business they're also corrupt,
But they pay us to give them assistance,
When the time comes they go bankrupt,
We'll bail them out without any resistance.
As for reprisals, well there's none,
You can rob the taxpayer's blind,
While we're in here stealing money for fun,
Help for the taxpayers, is being declined.
We are part of tradition so keep up your end,
Mistresses and lovers are allowed,
That oath you took, well like marriage it can bend,
With immunity you are now endowed.
Failure you must learn comes as part of the job,
To M.P.s it becomes the norm in your life,
When the time finally comes for you to demob,
Your lump sum and pension does ease the strife.
Total self-delusion is the main thing in line,
Conquer that and the worlds at your feet,
Detach yourself from reality and you'll be fine,
‘' Being A Politician Can't Be Beat ‘'
Related quotes
I Became A Politician
My aim in life when growing up was to learn a trade,
A bricklayer or a plumber that would have me made,
I wanted all the trappings my earnings would then bring,
A lovely wife and children a home where I'd be king.
Now I've served my time I find it really strange,
As a tradesman I don't earn enough I think it's time for change,
That home I've always dreamed of is too far out of sight,
The wife has not materialised I've really had a fright.
I then went on a training course to become a civil engineer,
I thought my god I'll make it big then I'll look back and leer,
Little did I realise this was not enough,
With the cost of living rising my life got really tough.
I then trained once again to make designer pottery,
Ii have to say I've failed once more I'll have to win the lottery,
If I don't make some money soon my landlord who's a louse,
Has said to me get on your bike I don't want you in my house.
I then thought I've got it I'll become an electrician,
This was it I'd soon be rich I was on a mission,
Five years on I'm still alone in a tower block,
The money like the electrics has been a dreadful shock.
I need to get a job now that will pay me loads of money,
I want it to be easy going I want it to be funny,
I've slaved for over twenty years and now I've got the itch,
To try a life in politics for they're all filthy rich.
Then I seen the local news there was to be a bye election,
As I knew the chairman I'd ask him for selection,
He knew me really well for reasons he'd rather not,
But the info that I had on him left him rather fraught.
His attitude towards me really was abrupt,
He said you'll make a good M.P. you're dishonest and corrupt,
I won the right to fight the seat at last I'd been selected,
When the votes were counted at last I'd been elected.
When I entered politics and finally took my seat,
My earnings were enormous my life became so sweet,
Now I have my penthouse my wife and children too,
My mistress and my fancy jags I'm among the chosen few.
I pay my wife to work for me my children and my dog,
No need to keep receipts or any financial log,
You even give me money for the maintenance on my boat,
Then you go and pay for a duck house for my moat.
I thank you for the shaving cream and my fancy combs,
You even give me cash for flipping second homes,
That means the house you bought me you won't make money off it,
For I can sell it make a mint and keep the massive profit.
I can claim for anything as I travel from coast to coast,
Claiming back what I say I've spent including tea and toast,
Travelling all around the world languishing in the sun,
Champagne and caviar each day this life is so much fun.
Anything I want I put it on my expenses,
Regardless of what I buy the taxpayer recompenses,
One thing I don't agree with is travelling with the lower class,
So kindly dropp that notion on that one I will pass
When they caught me fiddling I heard the speaker say,
Although you'll be suspended we'll let you keep your pay,
Whenever I'm caught stealing I need not fear the sack,
I just keep my head down and within a week I'm back.
Telling you what we fiddle that we will not abide,
We'll tell you what is legal the rest of it we'll hide,
If I ever lose my seat that won't cause me tension,
I will then just walk away with my massive pension.
Now I'll in live in comfort all my problems now have ceased,
I'll live my life of grandeur with all the cash I've fleeced,
Just when I think I'm finished with all the crossing swords,
I'm suddenly promoted to the illustrious House of Lords.
I just show up here every day and the money that I reap,
Is paid for doing nothing as all I do is sleep,
The taxpayers must be off their heads as they don't seem to mind,
From the House of Lords to parliament we rob them bloody blind.
As I'm rolling in the money now it's time to write my book,
Telling how I sold my soul and the morals I forsook,
I don't care a damn about the fact the system stinks,
As I am now his lordship who cares what you lot thinks.
There is no hint of conscience for now I can be sure,
I'll never need to work again I never will be poor,
All the previous jobs I've had just gave me endless strife,
That is why I chose to be to be in politics for life.
The most I made from other work was as a civil engineer,
Even then I struggled to buy myself a beer,
I've been a bricklayer and a plumber a potter and electrician,
But I didn't hit the big time till,
‘' I Became A Politician ''
Our Blueprint
Compulsory voting or fifty-dollar fine at tax time,
Shows that this important national issue is not five-and-dime,
And those who refuse to vote or pay, get ten days in jail,
No house arrest allowed, no legal aid, no caution and no bail.
Binding referendums for all Canadians on national options,
Before these options turn into major national problems,
How each politician votes on any issue should be published,
And not carefully moved around and hidden from the public.
Set-date elections every three years and constituents allowed recall,
Death with dignity allowed and no one or group, can forestall,
The Supreme Court, Governor Generals and parole boards elected,
So that defects in our systems can be finally corrected.
poem by James Bredin

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Letter To A John
don't ask me why I'm crying
I'm not going to tell you what's wrong
I'm just gonna sit on your lap
for five dollars a song
I want you to pay me for my beauty
I think it's only right
'cause I have been paying for it
all of my life
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
and I'm gonna go away...
we barely have time to react in this world
let alone rehearse
and I don't think I'm better than you
but I don't think that I'm worse
women learn to be women
and men learn to be men
and I don't blame it all on you
but I don't want to be your friend
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
I'm gonna take the money I make
and I'm gonna go away...
I was eleven years old
he was as old as my dad
and he took something from me
I didn't even know that I had
so don't tell me about decency
don't tell me about pride
just give me something for my trouble
'cause this time
song performed by by Ani DiFranco from Out Of Range

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nothing to fear
I have nothing to fear,
All wants to come near,
Good will they want to bear,
Try to show as if they are dear,
I am son of politician,
Very clever and tactician,
Rich and powerful only companions,
Controlling all including unions,
All this led to my arrogance,
Adding to fame and elegance,
Prefer to keep more distance,
Not to be seen in public and have a glance,
All pray and submit to rising sun,
So I am believed to be promising son,
Qualities of politician should form my basis,
Nothing should be read or form part of thesis,
Politician’s son may become politician,
So may be the case with clever musicians,
Craftsman and artists can’t produce artists,
Politicians have qualities to hide culprits,
All machinery and police force at command,
Things easily available simple at demand,
No one can raise finger and blame for fault,
Even money disappear from strong vault,
It is thriving business with no control,
Even commit crime easy quick parole,
Influence work with possible fear of reprisal,
They don’t need evidence or appraisal,
My father might have been good,
In previous birth and offered food,
So as result we enjoy and throw,
All our glory with pomp and show,
No college, no degree or education needed,
Only self honour and pride conceded,
Not feeling bad at insult and shame,
Containment of hatred and sharing blame,
So this is business no one can master,
Money may flow even with speed faster,
All is needed from people to muster,
At the time of selection they serve as caster,
I need to groom under his cover,
So to succeed in list of fewer,
Prepared to take false oath and vow,
Learn all tactics to escape how?
poem by Hasmukh Amathalal

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Am No Politician
I am no politician.
I am direct.
Every blemish and flaw I have,
I accept without regret.
I am not trying to win your approval
To represent your requests.
Nor will I disappoint you...
With deceit to later confess.
I am no politician.
Seeking a way to line my pockets.
I find that disgusting!
And I observe those who can not stop it!
Your quality of life...
With standards you behold.
Isn't my fault at all!
That your best interests,
They have sold!
You selected them to dismiss me.
To keep me and mine in check!
You elected them to suppress my dignity.
To keep my indentity distressed.
You chose them to divide and conquer.
By rules and laws
They clearly defied...
You now regret!
Why me...
You despise?
I am no politician!
My priorities are my happiness.
Not to masquerade with pretentions...
For purposes to make promises,
With intentions to forget.
I am no politician...
To trap you like prey.
And dangle you to capture...
As I make arrangements with others,
To take away the safety from your nests.
To portray in false charades.
I am no politician.
So voice your anger,
To those you believed...
Would come to your aid.
While on your knees you plead.
I am no politician!
I sleep at night.
In peace and at rest!
I am no politician...
Nor a hypocrite you will find,
Who will say something other
Than what is on my mind!
You can bet,
With respect...
I am direct.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Cry Again
its difficult to love you
when you do the things you do
time and time again
and when i try to play it wrong
you turn from smooth
you play it rough once again
you make me cry
you make me cry again
you make me cry
you make me cry again
you make me cry
you make me cry
saturday, same old story
Sunday mornings wounded glory repeats again
and every day a dream is born
is counted by a love thats torn, deep again
you make me cry
you make me cry again
and the tears roll by
you make me cry again
you make me cry
and you make me cry
you make me cry
you make me cry again
tide? that turns me into this ocean
subsides again
so high and so dry
with this bitter emotion lies again
you make me cry
you make me cry
and you make me cry
stop making me cry
stop making me cry
and you make me cry
you make me cry
song performed by by Simple Minds

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Professional Ethics
I wonder how a doctor dares to steal
The patient visiting a hospital,
Redirecting him to private clinics –
Most unethical thing for one to do!
I wonder how engineers try to steal
From project’s sum or get fat commissions
By procuring what is less durable –
Most unethical thing for one to do!
I wonder how a lawyer trys to fleece
By charging client exorbitant fees,
And tilt the balance of justice somehow –
Most unethical thing for one to do!
I wonder how politician tells lies
As fluent as his speech so magical,
And cheats the voters who gave him mandate –
Most unethical thing for one to do!
I wonder how teachers can fail to teach
The pupils, who are like their own children,
And punish them in inhuman a way –
Most unethical thing for one to do!
I wonder how bureaucrats make delays,
And alter statistics in ‘flawless’ ways,
Ignoring conscience and standing rules –
Most unethical thing for one to do!
Ethics is there for any profession;
No one can fail to ignore them in life;
‘Nobility of professions’ at stake’ –
Remember this and do your duty well.
Copyright by Dr John Celes 09-18-2008
poem by John Celes

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Its Going To Take Some Time
Its going to take some time this time
To get myself in shape
I really fell out-of line this time
I really missed the gate
The birds on the telephone line (next time)
Are cryin out to me (next time)
And I wont be so blind next time
And Ill find some harmony
But its going to take some time this time
And I cant make demands
But like the young trees in the wintertime
Ill learn how to bend
(*) after all the tears weve spent
How could we make amends
So its one more round for experience
And Im on the road again
And its going to take some time this time
And I cant make demands
Ill learn how to bend
Its going to take some time this time
No matter what Ive planned
But like the young trees in the wintertime
Ill learn how to bend
Repeat (*)
song performed by by Carpenters

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If
IF
BY
JAMES BREDIN AUG 9TH,2012
If we had binding referendums like the Swiss have had for years,
Could we maybe interrupt some useless political careers?
Or maybe proportional representation or a plebiscite,
Unfortunately Ottawa aristocrats don't have this appetite.
If we could eventually elect senators or judges?
Could we show that the system doesn't run on hidden grudges?
If we were finally allowed death with dignity?
Could we wish them well as we die without pain or indignity?
If they finally brought down mandatory voting for us,
Or a twenty dollar fine at tax time more or less,
If constituents had recall allowed of their own politician,
Am I getting ahead of myself or is this just superstition?
AUG 9TH,2012
poem by James Bredin

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It’s All up To You
Take this time of life
And make it come to reality
So much still to strife
Before one can be free
Everything is so slow
In its own simple way
But you must try to go
Through to the next day
Take ability make it strong
You are behind it all
Here is a simple song
To just start that call
You are just what you are
Nothing then more you’ll start
You could become a star
If you have a beat and heart
Take a step and further bring
To anyway you may go
Here is a lyric out to sing
Whatever you know
It might be dreams just still
But you can give it a try
With promises to fulfill
To go on to its steady high
Here is a lyric to make
Any words can do
Come on lets now awake
It’s all up to you
Take ability make it strong
Make it all come out now
You have feelings to long
You will manage somehow
This is all you need to do
And push a little harder
This song was made for you
As your beginning starter
Take this time of life
And make it come to reality
So much still to strife
Before one can be free
Everything is so slow
In its own simple way
But you must try to go
Through to the next day
Take a step and further bring
To anyway you may go
Here is a lyric out to sing
Whatever you know
It might be dreams just still
But you can give it a try
With promises to fulfill
To go on to its steady high
Here is a lyric to make
Any words can do
Come on lets now awake
It’s all up to you
It’s all up to you
poem by Peter S. Quinn

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Political Expenses
Our politicians are in the ultimate trade,
While none of their policies make the grade,
They're alright Jack they've got it made,
It's time they were brought to their senses,
Debt and unemployment is what they create,
Yet their blatant mistakes we must never berate,
For according to them everything's great,
It's this attitude that really incenses.
They're cutting everything that we hold dear,
Then trying to convince us we've nothing to fear,
Their actions are lies and so insincere,
They've even sold off our defences.
We are in this together they'd have you believe,
The fact is none of them need grieve,
If truth be told they are lying to deceive,
Don't be fooled by their pretences.
While we lose our homes and become unemployed
Their lives are faultless and forever enjoyed,
They don't give a damn we are being destroyed,
It's injustice that this lot dispenses.
It's the House of Lords when they retire,
With all the money they'll ever require,
Even in there their votes are for hire,
Yet their influence the government condenses.
While all our lives go down the drain,
They travel on the ultimate gravy train,
On their parade it will never rain,
As each day their journey recommences.
Their expenses rocket year on year,
The amounts they steal would bring on a tear,
To the rules these fraudsters will never adhere,
Very few are ever charged with offences.
Now they are renting out their homes,
Someone else to polish their chromes,
Many properties an M.P. roams,
For this there should be dire consequences.
Bercow says the landlords we can't reveal,
The thought of being caught does not appeal,
The electorate are not a part of this deal,
As they lie their body tenses.
No pay rise for us their moral belief,
But they'll never suffer monetary grief,
If you did what they do you'd be labelled a thief,
What's it called,
‘' Political Expenses ‘'
A January Fear
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
My class is all here
Down to each little sneer
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
Those cute little creatures
Have nothing to fear
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
Still knowing that teacher's
not entirely all here
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
Each little tear
Makes it perfectly clear
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
A day off is coming
And hopefully near
a sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
It's harder and harder
Maintaining my leer
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
Perhaps my behavior's
becoming quite queer
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
Perhaps in the morning
I'll call in and cheer
A SICK DAY A SICK DAY
I GOT A PAIN IN MY EAR
Alas...I can hear my principle sneer
With a resigning smirk easy to hear
NO SICK DAY NO SICK DAY
SORRY MY DEAR
NO SICK DAYS NO SICK DAYS
REMAINING THIS YEAR
poem by Robert John Meehan

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My Heaven Falling In On Me
Its My Heaven Falling In On Me. A Sick Sensation. A Child Thrown Into The Real World. No Time For Fun. Your Life Has Already Begun. Holding Others Up Above Your Shoulders. Do What You Have To Do. Its Cold Outside, But Somehow We Must Still Survive. Were Starving And Cant Afford Food, But Still We Must Survive. Living The Best We Can Is All We Ever Can. Anger Rise Inside Their Eyes, And They Ask Why Have You Done This Too Me. Oh Why, Why Is It My Heaven Is Fallen In On Me. A Sick Sensation. Can't Make One Mistake. Its A Life Or Death Sentence. Accomplishments Mean Nothing. As They Always Have. Blame Anyone And Everyone. But Still The Fault Is Ultimately Our Own. The Seedling Must Be Watered Before It Can Be Grown. Life Can Be Taken Away As Easily As Its Given So Never Forget It. Everything Is Lesson, And This Is The Age Wisdom For Me. Even As My Heaven Is Falling In On Me. I Cant Stop Any Of It. Only Better Myself Because Of It. Make Friends Of Fortune. Make Friends Of Hurt And Pain. That's The Way I Must Survive. For Love Is The Only Answer To This Cancer. So Let My Heaven Fall On Me. I'll Hold It Up As Long As I Can. And Just Maybe I Wont Be The Only One There. In My Time Of Despair. Do What You Have To Do. Turn A Blind If You Must. But I Will Not. Because You Just Never Know.
poem by Ace Of Black Hearts

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tell It Like It Is
(chorus)
I jus' a tell it like it is, yeah
I jus' a tell it like it is, oh yeah
I've got to be blatant in this time
Jus' like I know 1 + 1 no make 9 (repeat)
Now what was I saying about being blatant
You got to be blatant in an argument
You got to make sure your feelings are felt
Perfect example for you from me
Watch lying politicians me seh on me t.v.
Pay big big money for the licence fee
(at the same time them a try fi fool we) (repeat)
(chorus)
I jus' tell it like it is, yeah
I jus' tell it like it is, oh yeah
I've got ....
I've got to be blatant in this time
Now let me tell me more about being blantant
You got to be blatant me seh
With product you invent
If you don't patent it
You nah see a cent
You have no money fi go pay up your rent
If you crash fi your car
Or you in an accident
If it's not your fault you be blatant
(chorus)
I jus' tell it like it is, yeah
I jus' tell it like it is, oh yeah
I've got ....
Now I get serious about being blatant
Police come and mess with me pon the pavement
They say oi' where you going, what you doing here?
I just leave mi house fi go buy a tin of beer
Another example of being blatant
South africa police a kill the innocent
Fire live ammunition me seh into a crowd
If that's not blatant murder
Then murder can't be found (repeat)
(repeat chorus)
song performed by by Ub40

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Making No Sense
If a determination previously made,
To ignore suggestions recommended...
By the ones who submitted them,
As making no sense.
Why should anyone then get upset...
By those again solicited,
Who refuse to make any more suggestions?
And at who's expense is this waste of time,
When the ones authorized to make decisions...
Can not make up their minds to decide.
Only to find fault and blame those they accuse,
As being rude and too tempermental.
Un-co-operative.
AND unpredictably moody.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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King Of Comedy
Make your money with a suit and tie
Make your money with true denial
Make your money expert advice,
If you can wing it
Make your money with a power ply
Make your money with a buy out bribe
Make it lie as long as you mean it
Im not king of comedy,
Grease the pig, give a squeeze (squeeze me)
Make your money with exploitation
Make it holy illumination
Say a prayer at every station
Dont forget to ask for mercy
Make your money with a pretty face
Make it easy with product placement
Make it charged with controversy
Im straight, Im queer, Im bi
Im not king of comedy,
Im not your magazine,
Im not your television
Make your money, make it rich
Make it young and make it quick
Make your money on the jukebox, baby,
Lets pick up sticks
Make your enemies make your moves
Make your critics stumble through
Make it smart and make it schmooze
Make it look easy
Im not king of comedy,
Im not your magazine,
Im not your television,
Im not your movie screen
Im not commodity (all together now)
Im not commodity
Im not commodity
song performed by by REM

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Why Do They Need To Fiddle
Life's a struggle that's a fact,
But that can't be said for all,
Life's billionaires don't give a damn,
Their lifestyles will never stall.
They get tax relief for donations,
That's a fact they try to hide
How much wealth does a person need?
We're being taken for a ride.
They manipulate their tax returns,
While we're on pay as you earn,
They abuse every loophole as our money burns,
Finding more is what they must learn.
So why do these rich celebrities,
Tell us to give more money,
While they make billions every year,
It really isn't funny.
Politicians on the take,
Their expenses are truly ill gotten,
It proves that everyone's a fake,
To the core they are all bloody rotten.
Yet they all dictate what we should give,
Just what gives them that right?
They'll be hypocrites as long as they live,
They don't know the meaning of contrite.
Who are they to lecture us?
As they live their lives of leisure,
A million pounds from each of them,
Would give the starving untold pleasure.
While we must pay our taxes due,
It really is a riddle,
If these bastards are worth so much,
‘' Why do they need to fiddle ‘'
Blind
a past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried
after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go
I would fall asleep
only in hopes of dreaming
that everything would be like is was before
but nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
they disappear as reality is crashing to the floor
after all this time
I never thought we'd be here
never thought we'd be here
when my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me died when I let you go
after all this time
would you ever wanna leave it
maybe you could not believe it
that my love for you was blind
but I couldn't make you see it
couldn't make you see it
that I loved you more than you will ever know
a part of me died when I let you go
and I loved you more than you'll ever know
a part of me dies when I let you go
song performed by by Lifehouse

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Political Theatre
There is a stage of life,
When the connection to it...
Should inspire an acknowledgement.
And those of us blessed to be human beings,
Grow to appreciate being a part of nature...
With expectations to make this quick visit,
As best as it can get.
And then there are those who make manipulation,
As a means to adjust the spotlight.
They want to ensure others are aware...
There is a power they've obtain,
To decide for themselves...
Whose appetites for this life,
Deserves more of a feeding...
And they will choose who shares this light!
It's all political theatre!
Drama to ascertain...
Who amongst them should split the riches.
And who will sit in the audience,
Observing these egos...
At their expense!
It's all political theatre!
A sham representation of a rewritten script.
With no respect for the director.
And terrible performances...
Judge by those who have grown sick and tired,
And have had enough of the fighting that is witnessed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Pray Ole
Lets say goodbye till tomorrow
With a word sincere
How do you make it through the night
I hope to God youre still here
I pray ole
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
I pray
I pray
Its a God eat God world
Its a dogs tomorrow
And the song and wind
Brings nothing but sorrow
Oh ho oh ho, oh ho oh ho, oh ho oh ho
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through
Can you make, can you make it through, can you make it
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
Ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba
song performed by by David Bowie

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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