The Lettuce And Burger Address.....[LONG; Humor; Capitalism]
Four months and seven days ago me an' my brother Joe here
brought to 'yas' a new diner with both sugar AND Equal, and
catsup for all.
Our competition (ha ha) cut prices to pressure us, but we countered with a new menu.....and topless waitresses.
There have been some skirmishes as some 'a' 'ya', our customers know.
But Joe and me are diner veterans and 'in for a penny, in for a pound', as Mom used to say.
Remember not all diners, meaning businesses, are created equal to US, but all diners, meaning people, ARE equal to US, and we plan 'ta' come out on top.
Many 'a' 'yas' been good and loyal customers for weeks, and
Joe and me got our Grand Opening Week, comin' Sunday through Saturday.
As always we got free medium sodas and coffee, one per customer.
And for those with five holes me or Joe punched in your loyalty cards,
you each receive a free dessert 'wit' purchase of any entrée (17 dollars or more) .
How 'da ya' like that folks? Pretty swell, huh?
Tuesday and We'nesday we got live music, Jazz Tuesday and Blue Grass We'nesday.
In the future we might get live music all the time; free for loyal customers; three bucks a head for them without cards. Nice, huh? You betcha!
Remember loyalty cards is always available from our lovely wait staff. Take a LOW bow girls. Nice!
Burgers and hots will still be our featured items on the menu.
We got six kinds 'a' burgers and three kinds 'a' hots.
All them come with fries or onion rings and coleslaw or ‘tato salad;
hot sauce me and Joe got for 'yas' too. Nice, huh?
But Joe and me (we're buddies as well as bro's 'ya' know?) plan 'ta'
expand the choices to please our customers even more. That's you folks.
Fish and chips, cold sandwiches, and chili and takeout are maybe comin'.
We plan a great run here, Joe and me, see, as we continue to serve 'ya', our friends.
We might branch out to other locations as our competitors (ha ha) wise up and go belly up.....'fore they owe too much dough 'ta' ev'ryone.
(That's when they know they can't beat me and my brother here.)
There's been talk ‘bout lawsuits ‘bout our girls' attire (or lack of it) but Joe and me got the city boys in our pockets. (ha ha)
Never forget we love all 'yas', our loyal customers.
And don't forget our new address here: 1200 Oceanside Avenue..this place here.
Tell your people about our great food. Thanks a bunch. Lunch too.
(Nov.2012)
poem by Bri Edwards
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Market Day
There’s a market in our town, two days a week.
It’s nice to have a browse and take a quick peek.
There’s a riot of colours up and down the street,
And mouth-watering smells from all the food to eat.
There’s an explosion of different sights and sounds,
And dozens of people are leisurely milling around.
At the market, there’s always a great atmosphere,
And there’s nothing for sale there which is too dear.
A mobile van serves up spicy German bratwurst,
Plus a variety of different drinks to quench your thirst.
On one stall, they sell leather purses and handbags:
Cheap ones, plus designer ones, for the would-be WAGs.
In his mobile truck, a rotund butcher chops up some meat:
He promises his customers that his prices can’t be beat.
There’s a stall which sells low price pet supplies.
This is always a big attraction for the penny wise.
Hoping that none of his food will end up in the waste,
The Mediterranean food stall holder offers a free taste.
There are crisps and cakes stacked in crates,
Which are not long off of their sell by date.
From yet another stall, drifts an amazing perfumed smell.
They sell a variety of novelty soap and bath bombs as well.
A Jeweller displays a variety of items made of silver and gold.
He also buys any old unwanted jewellery, if it is being sold.
Then, of course, there’s the doughnut man –
Of this particular stall, I’m a very big fan!
Each market trader has their own unique call,
Trying to attract the customers to their stall.
They brave all weathers – the heat and the freezing cold,
Hoping that, by the close of day, their wares will be sold.
At the end of the day, there are real bargains to be found,
Such as a box of mixed fruit or veg for only a pound.
Come late afternoon, they pack up after a long day.
They load up their vans and are soon on their way.
When they have all gone, all that is left is a space,
And, of the market, there isn’t left a single trace.
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Not being in tune with your customers is like living in an alternate reality; the way you think your customers feel about your product is not always the same as what your customers really think about your product.
quote by Bo Bennett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
They will come to learn in the end, at their own expense, that it is better to endure competition for rich customers than to be invested with monopoly over impoverished customers.
quote by Frederic Bastiat
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Our variety is one of the key reasons our customers love us. We continue to provide all of the menu items they love, while also offering new items to try.
quote by Kenny Harrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Hear Sound Of Bread Seller
Hear song of approaching bread seller
music theme familiar to sell his wares
music to announce his approach teller
music to advertise his meal time wares
but speed racer is far to mobile to purchase last
on his bike he pauses not free cycling rapidly past
down hill in front of customer houses far too fast
his chance of customer sales daily speeds on past
he is a simple Simon selling not his wares
upon this street all his potential customers
cannot catch his corner soon turned retreat
such a salesman swift young foolish athlete
around the corner customers may gather
as up hill he must energy traverse pass slower
but his sales are constantly customer fewer
other salesmen daily pass downhill slow wiser
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Profit in business comes from repeat customers, customers that boast about your project or service, and that bring friends with them.
quote by W. Edwards Deming
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Fun at Kona Bay Cafe
In Kona Bay Cafe it feels like your on vacation
it’s by far the best destination.
Tropical music playing in the background,
happy customers talking all around.
When I am here,
all waitresses are so dear.
Kona Bay Cafe has a tropical theme,
sprinkled with Hawaiian artifacts
colors of blue and green.
they are open from seven to three.
Now they serve breakfast and lunch,
great apple muffins that really crunch.
Now, stop by and also write a great review,
for waitresses have children to feed too.
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Crazy Night Hymn
Monday nights
At the bar where
I work is
Where the crazy night is
Customers come in and out of the bar
Sometimes it is hard for me to keep track
Of the drinks that have been ordered by the cutomers
Of course the more customers come in
The more money the bar will make
The bar can't survive without customers
Because they bring in the money and the business
The crazy night hymn
poem by Aldo Kraas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
That's a very critical phase in customer service because you can start to really understand what part of customer service has value to customers and what part is bothering customers.
quote by Sanjay Kumar
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
One of Netscape's main attractions to customers from Day One is that we provide alternatives. And that's cherished by many customers - certainly not all.
quote by Jim Barksdale
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Fun at Kona Bay Cafe
In Kona Bay Cafe it feels like your on vacation
it's by far the best destination.
Tropical music playing in the background,
happy customers talking all around.
When I am here,
all waitresses are so dear.
Kona Bay Cafe has a tropical theme,
sprinkled with Hawaiian artifacts
colors of blue and green.
they are open from seven to three.
Now they serve breakfast and lunch,
great apple muffins that really crunch.
Now, stop by and also write a great review,
for waitresses have children to feed too.
By Suzae Chevalier on September 19,2011
poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Whats This World Comin To?
Why cant folks get along with one another
It was jesus said you got to love your brother
No one seems to notice all the evil in the air
No one seems to really give a damn if it is there
Oh, whats this world comin to
Hope for love, come on through, come on through
People finally get themselves together
Makin life - ooh - a whole lot better
Yeah, yeah
Some folks got a lot, and some are hungry
Well I said some folks have to live from day to day
Rich folks spend their time just countin money
Poor folks really aint got much to say
Whats this world comin to
Hope for love, come on through, come on through
I said now people finally get themselves together
Makin life - ooh - a whole lot better
Yeah, yeah
Whats this world
Comin to
Whats this world
Comin to
Whats this world
Comin to
Whats this world
Comin to
Whats this world
Comin to
Whats this world
Comin to
Oh people got to get their things together
Aint no time to lose just time to die
All of us can make this world a better place to be
All of us can feel how good it feels to be free
Woah, whats this world comin to
Hope for love, come on through, me and you
People got to get it together
Makin life - ooh - a whole lot better
song performed by by Chicago
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Christmas Shopping
On Saturday last, we made a mound
Of lovely, shiny golden pounds.
Customers queued down the aisles:
In their baskets, goods were piled.
All day long, the tills were ringing;
Their money, to us, people were bringing.
Three hundred pounds, in ten minutes flat,
Was taken by till staff, wearing Santa hats.
Shop Floor Assistants raced to and fro;
Of customers, there was a constant flow.
Tons of stock was stacked on the shelves:
We were kept as busy as Santa's elves.
By close of day, the store was trashed,
But, at least we made a mountain of cash.
We had to stay late to finish the facing;
To get the job done, we were racing.
Many people had received their last pay:
Their final one before Christmas Day.
The cash was counted and we did land
Ourselves a total of eighteen grand.
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
This merger is a logical next step that creates substantial value for customers and stockholders of both AT&T and BellSouth. It will benefit customers through new services and expanded service capabilities.
quote by Edward Whitacre, Jr.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Spend a lot of time talking to customers face to face. You'd be amazed how many companies don't listen to their customers.
quote by Ross Perot
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Tea Is A Platform
Tea is a platform
Tea is a platform
Platform to finalise deals
Deals of businesses
Businesses of sale and purchase
Sale and purchase of commodities
Commodities like bullion, cereals, tea
Tea for sale to customers
Customers drink tea at some platform
Tea is a platform
Platform to make friends
Friends to have co-operation
Co-operation to work together
Work together at a platform
Tea is a platform
Platform to deal with spouse
Spouses take tea together
Together to refresh their mood
Fresh moods of spouses
make a platform
poem by S.D. Tiwari
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Nights I Can't Remember, Friends I'll Never Forget
Me and JB and Sonny, we grew up on the buddy plan
Weren't we some bad mothers, closer than brothers
Had a rockin' little three-piece band
Yeah we wrote a lot of songs about women
Then we tried to sing 'em pretty for the girls
Pushin' everythin' we did to the limit
Livin' right out on the edge of the world.
I recall on summer night at a party
We were sophomores hangin' out by the lake
I got off on some wine with a waitress
Sonny had a girlfriend that just couldn't wait
JB hooked up around midnight
With an ugly girl from up in the city
He downed every can of beer in the cooler
Just tryin' to drink that poor thing pretty.
Hey me and the boys we made a lot of noise
And we, sang all our songs for free
We partied through college, acquired some knowledge
Never did get a degree
We did it our way lookin' back on the good days
There's still not a lot I regret
Nights I Can't Remember, Friends I'll Never Forget.
I grew up and got married, took a job with the FPL
Sonny's got a good life, a baby and a good wife
And everyday he carries the mail
JB is a cross-country trucker
And he called last night from South Carolina
He said I fallen in love with a waitress
That I met at a Waffle House diner.
He said the years seem to roll on faster
Than they did back when we were kids
Then we need us a break from the grindstone
That's exactly what we did.
We put in a phone call to Sonny
Then we stayed out all night long
We drank a few cold ones, then told a few old ones
And sang another verse to the song.
Yeah we were boys who made a lot of noise
And we, sang all our songs for free
We partied through college, acquired some knowledge
Never did get a degree
We did it our way lookin' back on the good days
There's still not a lot I regret
There's some Nights I Can't Remember, with Friends I'll Never Forget.
All those Nights I Can't Remember, Friends I'll Never Forget.
song performed by by Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Fish Crier
I know a Jew fish crier down on Maxwell Street with a voice like a north wind blowing over corn stubble in January.
He dangles herring before prospective customers evincing a joy identical with that of Pavlowa dancing.
His face is that of a man terribly glad to be selling fish, terribly glad that God made fish, and customers to whom he may call his wares, from a pushcart.
poem by Carl Sandburg
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Alcoholics Unanimous
ALCOHOLICS UNANIMOUS
The head of blended Spirits
saw his future looking bleak.
The case sales for Scotch Whiskey
trended downward week to week
What was the cause of this decline?
Why were sales weak as water?
To find out he relied upon
his party loving daughters.
When they reported back to him
He nearly died from shock:
Folks weren’t merely “buying down”
because they were in hock.
Instead they met in basement clubs
And sat on folding chairs
Pouring out their troubles
To such strangers as were there.
They told him of a program
That sounded like a cult:
Twelve steps to salvation-
Start with putting down the cup.
They said the former customers
Had mentors they could call
To talk them out of drinking
if they longed for alcohol.
The head of blended spirits
Hatched a bold and daring plan-
ALCOHOLICS UNANIMOUS
“The Friends of Old Grand Dad”
They’d meet in clubs and taverns
As you might surmise
And sponsored “beer pong” tournaments
with Whiskey as the prize.
The new club had its mentors too
Conveniently right in town
To talk folks into drinking
And to join them in a round.
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I very frequently get the question: 'What's going to change in the next 10 years?' And that is a very interesting question; it's a very common one. I almost never get the question: 'What's not going to change in the next 10 years?' And I submit to you that that second question is actually the more important of the two -- because you can build a business strategy around the things that are stable in time. ... [I]n our retail business, we know that customers want low prices, and I know that's going to be true 10 years from now. They want fast delivery; they want vast selection. It's impossible to imagine a future 10 years from now where a customer comes up and says, 'Jeff I love Amazon; I just wish the prices were a little higher,' [or] 'I love Amazon; I just wish you'd deliver a little more slowly.' Impossible. And so the effort we put into those things, spinning those things up, we know the energy we put into it today will still be paying off dividends for our customers 10 years from now. When you have something that you know is true, even over the long term, you can afford to put a lot of energy into it.
quote by Jeff Bezos
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
Vote! | Copy!