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Silly; Human Nature; Scary? ; Long: Mary's Pet

Mary was a little weird, a fact you'll soon agree.
And if this story sounds familiar, I hope you'll forgive me.
She attended Beavis Elementary, just around the block.
She left for school each school day, by eight a.m. by the clock.

Now one day was 'Bring a Pet to School With You Day'.....;
that could turn out hectic, but NOT tragic most would say.
After all, what could eight-year-olds bring to class that could break ANY rule? ?
(Soon, you'll find you are wrong, my friend. Mary was weird and cruel.)

She could have taken her lamb to school, as in the nursery rhyme.
Her classmates would enjoy it. The thought's almost sublime.
But what instead did Mary take from her home menagerie?
Something cold and sinister that would make even teachers flee!

When Mary got to school that day no one paid her any mind.
(She was weird of course.) That she appeared with no pet was fine.
The day progressed quite nicely with dogs and cats; even one rat.
But Mary fidgeted more than usual in the BACK ROW where she sat.

Now as I said there were lots of cats and dogs (and one guinea pig, some birds) :
that day the poor janitor was kept busy, sweeping up their turds.

Each child was given time in class, to show and talk about their pet,
but a half hour before the recess bell, Mary had not talked or shown one......yet!
When she was the last one left, who'd not stood at the teacher's desk,
the teacher, Mrs. Apple, called her up; she thought Mary was a PEST.

'Mary dear' (that's what Apple SAID, though it was NOT what she thought)
'you are now the last one, my dear, left to show us what you've brought.'

At that, with a smirk on her face, Mary reached for her cute rear;
one especially precocious boy thought 'her ass? ' with hope but also fear.

So Mary reached down the back of her skirt, and SLOWLY she did take....
a two foot long, glistening-black, hooded cobra snake.

The teacher fled; some children did too, but SOME were mesmerized.
They could NOT believe what Mary had brought though they saw it with their eyes.
The 'Day' was NOT as successful as the principal hoped it'd be.
Five classmates died of cobra bites. Three are still in comas. Hee hee.

(Nov.2012)

poem by Bri Edwards
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mary Mary Magdalene

Mary Mary Magdalene,
what do all those stories mean?
Mary, Mary, is it true,
Jesus had a thing for you?

Mary, Mary – He lay with you?
Mary, Mary, tell me true
Mary, Mary, red hair wild,
did He leave you great with child?

Mary, was your love so steady,
that you had had His kids already?
Mary, Mary, at the Cross,
did it feel a gain or loss?

Mary, Mary – on that third day,
what was it like with the stone rolled away?
Mary, Mary, running there with love,
what did you think when He rose above?

Mary, Mary – what was it like, after?
Were there tears or joyful laughter?
Mary, Mary – the kids you had –
did they turn out like their Dad?

Mary, Mary, whore redeemed,
did it work out like you dreamed?
Mary, Mary – your afterlife –
was it mostly love, or mostly strife?

Mary, Mary, were you worshipped or despised
As Mary’s daughter-in-law, Mrs. Christ?
Mary, Mary, did you stay,
or feel you had to take the kids away?

Mary, Mary, with so much love,
did you, too, rise to heaven above?
Mary, Mary, in the sky,
all we ask are the reasons why…

Mary, Mary Magdalene,
What is really true? What does it really mean?

poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mary, Mary

Words and music by michael nesmith
Mary, mary, where you goin to?
Mary, mary, can I go too.
This one thing I will vow ya,
Id rather die than to live without ya.
Mary, mary, where you goin to?
Mary, mary, tell me truly
What did I do to make you leave me.
Whatever it was I didnt mean to,
You know I never would try and hurt ya.
Mary, mary, where you goin to?
What more, mary, can I do
To prove my love is truly yours?
Ive done more now than a clear-thinkin man would do.
Mary, mary, its not over.
Where you go, I will follow.
til I win your love again
And walk beside you,
But until then.
Mary, mary, where you goin to?
Mary, mary, where you goin to?
Mary, where you goin to?
Mary, mary, mary, mary, mary, where you goin to?
[repeat adlib]

song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mary Had A Little Dog

Mary had a little dog.
Its fur was black as night.
And everyone that Mary met
The dog was sure to bite.
It followed her to school one day,
Which was against the rule.
The dog bit Mary’s teacher’s leg,
So they threw her out of school

poem by Poem Master
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Mary Had A Little Lamb

Mary had a little lamb,
His fleece was white as snow,
Evrywhere that mary went,
That lamb was sur to go.
And you could hear them singing:
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
He followed her to school one day,
It was against the rules,
Made the children laugh and play to
See a lamb at school.
You could hear them singing:
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
Soon the teacher turned it out,
Still it lingered near,
Waited patiently about till
Mary did appear.
You could hear them singing:
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
But the lamb loved mary so,
The eager children cry,
And mary loves the lamb, you know,
The teacher did reply.
And you could hear them singing:
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
(evry body singing)
La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.

song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mary Jane

Now when I go to work, I work all day,
Always turns out the same.
When I bring home my hard-earned pay
I spend my money all on mary jane.
Mary jane, mary jane, lord, my mary jane.
Oh if a man should look tame now, mean and mature,
They all turn out the same.
cause they cant do nothing to make a man feel good
Like my old mary jane.
Mary jane, mary jane, lord, my mary jane.
Now I walk in the street now lookin for a friend
One that can lend me some change.
And he never questions my reason why,
cause he too loves mary jane.
Mary jane, mary jane, lord, my mary jane.
Well, I have known women that wanted no man,
Some that wanted to stay.
But I never knew what happened in this world
Till I met up with mary jane,
Mary jane, mary jane, lord my mary jane.
Oh, when Im feelin lonesome and Im feelin blue,
Theres only one way to change.
Now I walk down the street now lookin for a man,
One that knows my mary jane,
Mary jane, mary jane, lord my mary jane.

song performed by by Janis Joplin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bubble gum

Mary had some bubble gum, bubble gum, bubble gum
Mary had some bubble gum
she chewed it long and slow.

Everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went
everywhere that Mary went
her gum was sure to blow.

She chewed the gum in school one day, school one day, school one day
She chewed the gum in school one day,
which was against the rule.

The teacher took her pack away, pack away, pack away
The teacher took her pack away
and chewed it after school.

poem by Lee Toballs
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mary Had A Little Lamb Rewrite

Mary had a little lamb
Little lamb, little lamb
Mary had a little lamb
Its fleece was as white as snow

It followed her to school one day
School one day, school one day
It followed her to school one day
Which was against the rule

Original Mother Goose Song

Below is my reimagined verison of the same song

Note-A young college girls find out the hard way that you can't trust all guys

Mary swallowed a little of Same
A little of Sam
A little of Sam
Mary swallowed a little of Same
After I swear that boy was just as cold as snow

Nasty little fellow that he was showed off the racy video they made to the whole school
Made Mary feel like such a fool, such a fool that day
Nasty little fellow that he was showed off the racy video they made to the whole school
Made all the boys drool and struck poor Mary with the reputation of being a loose little tool

2009 Ramona Thompson

poem by Ramona Thompson
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To Mary In Summer

LAY your head here, Mary,
Lay your head here,
While the blown grass, Mary,
With timid voice and wary,
Sings in your ear:—
The grass which round us, Mary,
Shuts like a nest;
By your dear limbs, dear Mary,
Lighter than limbs of Faery,
Daintily press'd.
Back with it all though, Mary,
Back and aside;
The wind comes this way, Mary,
And here the trees are airy
And the skies are wide.
What do your eyes fear, Mary,
So grave and soft?
I love to see them, Mary,
In whimsical vagary
Lifted aloft.
Mary, Mary, Mary,
Laugh in my face:
You know now, my own Mary,
No eyes can laugh so rarely
Or grant such grace.
Your cheek is pale now, Mary,
And red, by turns.
Why should the hand be chary
Of that to give which, Mary,
The heart so yearns?
Give me your hand, ah Mary,
Give me your hand:
In city or in prairie
There is none kinder, Mary,
From land to land.
Your lips to my lips, Mary,
Your lips to mine:
High up in Hebe's dairy
No milk so sweet, my Mary,
On earth no wine.
Lay your head here, Mary,
Lay your head here;
While my heart now, Mary,
The pleasant tune to vary,
Beats in your ear.

poem by Dante Gabriel Rossetti
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Mary

Oh mary wasnt happy with the life that she led
She was a simple girl without much to say
So one day she just upped and left her dreary home
And she left all her friends behind to wander all alone
And at first she was afraid, she was so far away
From her home but slowly she got to like it anyway
Oh mary wont you please come...
Well in time she found that
The mountain that she had been taught
Her whole life, that she must avoid
And though at first it hurt, and no one could comfort her
She finally came to appreciate it
And she like it, she like it - oh wasnt she surprised
And though still alone, she grew so much inside
Oh mary wont you please come...
And after a time, she became so sublime
She could look in peoples eyes and read their minds
Though her hands would sometimes bleed and occasionally
She would long for her past and the memories they bring
She decided to return to her old home town
And her heart was burning with all the things she found
Oh mary wont you please come...
So, mary came back and at first no one recognized her face
And her friends were all a little bit afraid
When they heard what she had to say
They all slowly backed away
And her family took her aside and put their arms around her
They said mary wont you please come back to us now
There is still time to repent for all your sins
And mary started to cry when she realized
That shed never come home again in her life
Oh mary wont you please come
Mary wont you please come home...

song performed by by Oingo Boingo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mary Had A Little Lamb

Mary had a little lamb
One holy morning
'Neath the star of Bethlehem
A brand new day was forming
Guided by the shining light
And the angel's voice
Wise men traveled through the night
To see the baby boy
'Cause Mary had a little lamb
King of kings and son of man
Mary had a little lamb of God
They gathered 'round to see the lamb
In the manger sleeping
Such a humble throne for Him
The promise God was keeping
There the shepards bowed their heads
Among the cattle lowing
The first ever Christmas gift
Was wrapped in swaddling clothes
Mary had a little lamb
King of kings and son of man
Mary had a little lamb of God
For the world a sacrifice
Mary did give birth
The way she held him in her arms
Is how He holds the earth
Mary had a little lamb
King of kings and son of man
Mary had a little lamb of God
Mary had a little lamb
King of kings and son of man
Mary had a little lamb of God
Oh, Mary had a little lamb
King of kings and son of man
Mary had a little lamb of God

song performed by by Garth Brooks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Song (Here's a health to thee, Mary...)

Here's a health to thee, Mary,
Here's a health to thee;
The drinkers are gone,
And I am alone,
To think of home and thee, Mary.

There are some who may shine o'er thee, Mary,
And many as frank and free,
And a few as fair,
But the summer air
Is not more sweet to me, Mary.

I have thought of thy last low sigh, Mary,
And thy dimm'd and gentle eye;
And I've called on thy name
When the night winds came,
And heard my heart reply, Mary.

Be thou but true to me, Mary,
Аnd I'll be true to thee;
Аnd at set of sun,
When my task is done,
Вe sure that I'm ever with thee, Mary.

poem by Barry Cornwall
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Mary

Mary, Ill love her all my life
But shell never be my wife
She broke my heart - broke my trust
Now I cant believe that shes seriuos
I love her, but I will never marry mary
Never marry mary...
Restless and wild - she runs away
Comes back and tells me shes here to stay
Tried to give her time but she wanted more
Now I just dont feel like I did before
I love her, but I will never marry mary
Never mary mary...
Mary, I tried to understand
But I cant stay here at your command
Got to break away - its been too long
Still I cant say all the feelings gone
I love her, but I will never marry mary
Never mary mary...

song performed by by Jefferson Starship
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hello Mary Lou

Hello mary lou, goodbye heart,
Sweet mary lou, Im so in love with you
I knew mary lou, wed never part
So hello mary lou, goodbye heart.
Passed me by one sunny day, flashed those big brown eyes my way
And oo I wanted you forever more
Im not one that gets around, swear my feet stuck to the ground
And though I never did meet you before
I said hello mary lou, goodbye heart,
Sweet mary lou, Im so in love with you
I knew mary lou, wed never part
So hello mary lou, goodbye heart.
Saw your lips I heard your voice, believe me I just had no choice,
Wild horses couldnt make me stay away.
Thought about a moonlit night, my arms around you good an tight,
Thats all I had to see for me to say.
Hey, hey, hello mary lou, goodbye heart,
Sweet mary lou, Im so in love with you
I knew mary lou, wed never part
So hello mary lou, goodbye heart.
So hello mary lou, goodbye heart.
Yes, hello mary lou, goodbye heart.

song performed by by Creedence Clearwater Revival
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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What's The New Mary Jane

She looks as an african queen,
She eating twelve chapattis and cream,
She tastes as mongolian lamb,
She coming from out of bahran.
What a shame mary jane
Had a pain at the party.
What a shame mary jane.
What a shame mary jane
Had a pain at the party.
She like to be married with yeti,
He grooving such cooky spaghetti,
She jumping as mexican bean
To make that her body more thin.
What a shame mary jane
Had a pain at the party.
What a shame mary jane.
What a shame mary jane
Had a pain at the party.
She catch patagonian pancake
With that one a gin party makes.
She having all the ways good contacts,
She making with apple an contract.
What a shame mary jane
Had a pain at the party.
What a shame mary jane.
What a shame mary jane
Had a pain at the party.
All together now:
What a shame mary jane
Had a pain at the party.
What a shame mary jane.
What a shame mary jane
Had a pain at the party.
She looks as an african queen,
She tastes as mongolian lamb.
What a shame mary jane
Had a pain at the party.
What a shame mary jane.
What a shame mary jane
Had a pain at the party.
What a shame mary jane
Had a pain at the party.
What a shame mary jane.
What a shame mary jane
Had a pain at the party.

song performed by by Beatles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Little Mary

Little Mary takes a walk
With her perfect hair and perfect heart
And happy as can be
Little Mary
Mary its just visual I dont think its real
Inside I think shes me
Well I could be wrong could be right
Dont think it matters
Cause little Mary sings her song and wipes away her tears
Little Mary dont you worry
You're perfect all around
No wounds or worries on your head
Just please come back down
Drop a line my way
You say it Mary, say it Mary
Dont be afraid to reveal
Its this preconceived notion that everybody's got
That little girls are perfect and angry they are not
And little Mary dont you worry
You're perfect all around
No wounds or worries on your head
Just please come back down
Oh little Mary
Dont you jump now
Little Mary show them who you are
Show them what you are
And little Mary takes a fall
All the way to heaven
Her feelings always trapped inside her perfect little heart
Her image is secure
She had to do what she had to do
To keep a perfect little Mary
Its always a perfect little Mary that falls
She falls
And its always a perfect little Mary that falls
Mary falls
Little Mary dont you worry
You're perfect all around
No wounds or worries on your head
Just please come back down

song performed by by Vanessa Carlton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mary Loves Precious

Mary loves her Precious so dear—
she misses Precious who passed last year.
Precious was Mary's companion and pet
she still has her Brownie who is her very good friend.
Mary gave Precious a happy life-
she was there for Precious in her time of strife.
Mary gave both dogs the love they needed—
Mary has happily and joyfully succeeded—
To experience the lasting unconditional love
of Precious who is with the angels up above.

poem by Suzae Chevalier
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Salon & Saloon

Written by - Maury Muehleisen
Sometimes I think about our good old high school days
You would always kid about my adolescent ways
Oh, Mary, Mary, good to see you too
Haven't seen to many of the old crew
The time just flew, and how are you?
Strange we should meet here
Seeing off our friends
It's hard to draw the line between
Beginnings and ends
Oh, Mary, Mary, must you go so soon?
We must be a sight to see
Salon and Saloon
I'll look you up soon
Maybe sing you a tune

song performed by by Jim Croce
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bloody Mary

When youre waltzing down the high street
Singing that sweet french perfume song
Looking out for the boys who couldnt sing along.
Moving like a dancer on the ballroom floor,
Sweet ballerina get me begging for more
When youre rolling your eyes behind your dior shades.
Bloody mary, the queen of the ball,
Bloody mary, you want it all.
Ive been looking for you, looking for me.
I like sugar in my woman more than saccharine,
Too much sweet talk make a nice boy mean.
All in all, mary, youre no good for me.
Just like a bee-sting, babe, youre a pain in my heart
Hurting me more and more.
You get me down on my knees when you talk dirty to me.
Bloody mary, the queen of the ball,
Bloody mary, you want it all.
Ive been looking for you.
Bloody mary, bloody mary,
Bloody mary, bloody mary.
You know that madame palm and her five sweet daughters
Couldnt give a man what the doctor ordered.
Ooh, mary, I love the way you turn it on.
(solo)
Bloody mary, the queen of the ball,
Bloody mary, you want it all.
Ive been looking for you.
Bloody mary, bloody mary,
Bloody mary, bloody mary.
You know that madame palm and her five sweet daughters
Couldnt give a man what the doctor ordered.
Ooh, mary, I love the way you turn it on.
I told, ooh, mary, I love the way you turn it on.

song performed by by Whitesnake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mary Long

Mary long is a hypocrite
She does all the things that she tells us not to do
Selling filth from a corner shop
And knitting patterns to the high street queue
She paints roses, even makes them smell good
And then she draws titties on the khazy wall
Drowns kittens just to get a thrill
And writes sermons in the sunday chronicle
How did you lose your virginity, mary long ?
When will you lose your stupidity, mary long ?
Mary told johnny not to write such trash
Said it was a waste of public money
She made a fuss, they made apologies
But everybody thought the show was funny
When the nation knew youd had children
It came as such a surprise
We really didnt know youd had it in you
How you did it we can only surmise
How did you lose your virginity, mary long ?
When will you lose your stupidity, mary long ?
Mary long, youre not alone
But youre a long way behind our times
What we do in full frontal view
Is more honest than your clean-up mind
What Im saying, mary long is
When you can spare a minute
Go find your friend the porny lord
Dig your self a hole and jump in it
How did you lose your virginity, mary long ?
When will you lose your stupidity, mary long ?

song performed by by Deep Purple
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Taylor's song

For joys the hours of earth bestow
With sorrow thou must pay.
Though many follow close, yet know,
They're loaned but for a day.
With sighing in thy laughter's stead
Shall come a time of grief,
The load of usury bow thy head,
With loss of thy belief.
Mary Anne, Mary Anne,
Mary Anne, Mary Anne,
Hadst thou not smiled upon me, thou,
I were not weeping now.

May God help him who never can
Give only half his soul;
The time comes surely for that man
To take the sorrow whole.
May God help him who was so glad,
That he cannot forget,
Help him who lost the all he had,
But not his reason yet.
Mary Anne, Mary Anne,
Mary Anne, Mary Anne,
The flowers that my life had grown,
Died out when thou went gone.

poem by Bjørnstjerne Bjørnson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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