Silly; Gross: Fart Poem #2
Naked I stepped from the shower tub, bending over SLIGHTLY,
when all of a sudden came a sound to my ears, roaring, not lightly.
It was just gas (I hoped) but it burst from me like lightning from a cloud.
It was NOT one of your gentle lady's farts, but a fart very VERY loud.
And besides the loudness there was a sound that made me worry;
could it be that recently I had eaten too much curry?
I noticed the bathroom window did not shatter,
but I was quite worried that I may have left a splatter
on the dark gray tile floor behind me.
As luck would have it there was no mess,
so I put on my makeup and put on my dress.
(Nov.2012)
poem by Bri Edwards
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Related quotes
Silly: A Fart Poem #2:
Naked I stepped from the shower tub, bending over SLIGHTLY,
when all of a sudden came a sound to my ears, roaring, not lightly.
It was just gas (I hoped) but it burst from me like lightning from a cloud.
It was NOT one of your gentle lady's farts, but a fart very VERY loud.
And besides the loudness there was a sound that made me worry;
could it be that recently I had eaten too much curry?
I noticed the bathroom window did not shatter,
but I was quite worried that I may have left a splatter
on the dark gray tile floor behind me.
As luck would have it there was no mess,
so I put on my makeup and put on my dress.
(Nov.2012)
poem by Bri Edwards
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Silly; Gross: Fart!
Having just exclaimed 'what can I write about? ' I heard a muffled noise,
...followed by a pungent cheesy smell which FEW of your ilk enjoys.
Now farts have gotten a bad reputation....along with burps and belches.
In our society they are THINGS...which a more 'polite' person often squelches.
And I'd say I'm one of the 'more polite'...in my normal daily life; that is except when I'm alone...with my loving, understanding WIFE.
Why even my wife farts on rare occasions.....Don't let her know I've told.
But she generally does it behind a CLOSED door. Unlike me, …she's not so bold.
So 'FART' is what I'll write about tonight, .... stretched out in this chair.
You'll excuse me please if I let one loose...though it MAY foul the air.
Farts come in at least four varieties. I'm sure you all know THAT.
I could break it down to sub-varieties, but I'll KEEP those in my hat.
First there are farts that are quiet and smelly. Not my cup of tea.
At least one should make some noise....so others won't HAVE TO SAY 'not ME'.
Then there are those quiet but NOT smelly; I think women mostly do those.
They give off nothing obnoxious….. to offend your ears or nose.
There are noisy farts that are also smelly. Some would say they're WORST OF ALL.
There are noisy farts that are NOT smelly, ...some like a bugle call.
I've heard of 'farting posts'....used in competitions, ....and
I've heard of using cigarette lighters...to ignite fart emissions.
I've been around dogs that fart and I guess some cows do too.
Probably lots of species fart (now and then) ...not just a FEW.
I believe what's behind all farts...is simply what we.....eat.
If you eat too much or the 'wrong thing'....you MAY be blown....OFF your feet.
Personally that's never happened to me. I'm not lying; ....it's really TRUE.
No 'Captain Ahab' has ever said of me: 'My god! There he blew! '
poem by Bri Edwards
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Just a load of silly limericks about people I know
I know young lady called Dee
Who lived in a bubblegum tree
She savoured the view
Whilst big bubbles she blew
And she only came down for her tea.
I know I young lady called Carolyn
Who said she was gonna go travelling
She afforded the lot
By a pay out she got
When her ex got impaled by a javelin.
There once was a poet called Ben
Who couldn't let go of his pen
He had a 'to do'
With some strong super glue
And it's been stuck there ever since then.
There once was a young Mr bright
Who wanted his farts to ignite
When he lighted the match
His fart just wouldn't catch
Coz the pants he had on were too tight!
I know a young lady called Laurie
Who burped after eating a curry
By god it was loud
And for this she was proud
Then she giggled and said she was sorry!
There once was a young man called Will
Who found it quite hard to sit still
He did not sit down once
No not even for lunch
It eventually made him quite ill
I know a lady called Karen
Who hired a group of hit men
She payed a few bob
For this one special job
And her ex was not spotted again
I know a girl called Nicola
Who craved for a day at a spar
She wanted shellac
And a rub of her back
But thought waxing was going too far
poem by Stevie Taite
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Outlets
Splatter
Splash
A single droplet
Glistens
Splatter
Splash
It slowly runs
Down
Splatter
Splash
The gentle kiss of
Cool metal
Splatter
Splash
Nipping at the
Skin
Splatter
Splash
A network of
Webs
Splatter
Splash
A beautiful pattern
Turning red
Splatter
Splash
Hidden in the
Fabric
Splatter
Splash
Reinf orced
By the grin
Splatter
Splash
Walking on
Nothing's wrong
Splatter
Splash
Only everything
Is
poem by Autumn Winds
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Jeckoyva
They made the warrior's grave beside
The dashing of his native time:
And there was mourning in the glen--
The strong wail of a thousand men--
O'er him thus fallen in his pride,
Ere mist of age - or blight or blast
Had o'er his might spirit past.
They made the warrior's grave beneath
The bending of the wild elm's wreath,
When the dark hunter's piercing eye
Had found that mountain rest on high,
Where, scattered by the sharp wind's breath,
Beneath the ragged cliff were thrown
The strong belt and the mouldering bone.
Where was the warrior's foot, when first
The red sun on the mountain burst?
Where -- when the sultry noon-time came
On the green vales with scorching flame,
And made the woodlands faint with thirst?
'Twas where the wind is keen and loud,
And the gray eagle breasts the cloud.
Where was the warrior's foot when night
Veiled in thick cloud the mountain-height?
None heard the loud and sudden crash--
None saw the fallen warrior dash
Down the bare rock so high and white!
But he that drooped not in the chase
Made on the hills his burial-place.
They found him there, when the long day
Of cold desertion passed away,
And traces on that barren cleft
Of struggling hard with death were left--
Deep marks and footprints in the clay!
And they have laid this feathery helm
By the dark river and green elm.
poem by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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Flutter
word by word
she spoke to me
hidden neath a mess of bygone linnen
she listens as to dry a thousand tongues
my love is thin and thinning
some cherised flower
flutters through
gentleborn beloved you
kindness always
kindness always
i hear the sound
the sound she's left me
i stood her ground
no
they've swayed me
i hear the sound
the sound she's left me
i stood her ground
i hear the sound
the sound she's left me
wrapped tight
inside your shawl
we wander round this dingy hall
softly spoken
shaken tree
the ash grove we come to be
the blood run
the blood run away
from arm and leg to a warm heart
all our colors agree
in the dark
but no man lives upon that land
far enough for us to see
i hear your voice yeah
in the hum of this machine
i hear the sound
the sound you've left me
i stood her ground
i hear the sound
the sound she's left me
song performed by by 16 Horsepower
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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396
this will be confrontational
life-size views of grimy bathrooms -
a glimpse of a toilet,
a window,
and a shower pan,
or of a bathroom sink
In the last, he plays tricks with perspective
kind and gentle
i, stand before the fictive sink;
the mirror returning my image,
i see the blank tile wall behind me,
as if i had become invisible
your expectations
at once dislocated and defeated
how can you paint
a confrontation like this?
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Thoughts (reloaded)
She got me worried it’s not funny,
Am not even taking it lightly
She got me thinking,
She got me strategizing,
She got my heart beating,
Soul searching for anything and everything
that's positive, comforting and motivating
But I its not there.
She got me worried it’s not funny,
Am not even taking it lightly
Everything she wrote is on replay,
Every time those words made a sentence,
dark thoughts filled head, my mind.
Every word she wrote is placed in a strange order.
While every time those sentences made a paragraph,
a river of tears filled my eyes.
I mean words you don't want to see in one sentence.
All I am left to do is assume and make my own predictions
and that got my mood down.
She got me worried it’s not funny,
Am not even taking it lightly.
poem by Sakhile 85TEN25 Koaho
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She Has Faces
She has faces up in her bedroom and they gaze down on her guarding her slumber
A black bead rosary under her pillow and when it thunders she clutches it tightly
And she hears silence is white, sound is black, the world is wrapped in a paper sack
And when I leave I close the door to this galaxy of yours
Dropping by I open a window as the breeze blows in the curtains are butterflies
And we hear the church bells ring out on a hill and all of their echoes left us singing
Silence is black, the room is bright, our world is basking in tv light
And we are laid out on the floor of this galaxy of yours
With all of your heroes waiting in paper piles laid on the floor
I push my paintbrush lightly and fill in any empty nail holes
A dresser top, a jewelry box, colored tassels tied in knots
And a porcelain girl danced a music box ballet for us
And your nightlight is a star, or a firefly, that
Leads my gaze up to the ceiling
Wondering if you think that its the sky
With all of your heroes...
Open the window slightly, pick up paper off the floor
I hold my paintbrush tightly, and fill in any empty nail holes
Open the window slightly
song performed by by Verve Pipe
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dirty Fingernail
dirty dirty fingernails...
dirty dirty fingernails...
Out of the shower, on to the bathroom floor
Out in the kitchen, underneath the casserole
dirty dirty fingernails...
dirty dirty fingernails...
(It takes a lot of energy to make that sound)
Out of the shower, on to the bathroom floor
Out in the kitchen, underneath the casserole
Out on the patio, out in the great outdoors
song performed by by Modest Mouse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For My Lady
My boat sails stormy seas
Battles oceans filled with tears
At last my ports in view
Now that Ive discovered you
Oh Id give my life so lightly
For my gentle lady
Give it freely and completely
To my lady
As life goes drifting by
Like a breeze shell gently sigh
And slowly bow her head
Then youll hear her softly cry.
Oh Id give my life so lightly
For my gentle lady
Give it freely and completely
To my lady
Words that you say when were alone
Though actions speak louder than words
But all I can say is I love you so
To drive away all my hurt
Oh Id give my life so lightly
For my gentle lady
Give it freely and completely
To my lady
Set sail before the sun
Feel the warmth thats just begun
Share each and every dream
They belong to everyone.
Oh Id give my life so lightly
For my gentle lady
Give it freely and completely
To my lady
song performed by by Moody Blues
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sounds that should not be missed
Sound of blossom of a flower,
I desire to hear,
the sound of nature.
Sound of rain's glassy water drop,
over a roof's top,
the sound of joy.
Sound of beat of our heart,
through our ears caught,
the sound of wonder.
Sound of delicious supper in boil,
after a great day's toil,
the sound of hunger.
Sound of a mother's loving ballad,
hearing the cry of her toddler,
the sound of love! ! !
poem by Shyam Balaji
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Situation
Blue I dress for every situation
Moving through the doorway of the nation
Pick me up and shake me down
Baby I can't do without
Move out
Don't mess around
Move out
You bring me down
Move out
Forget about don't make a sound
Just move out
I remember only for an hour
Moving right through me can you feel the power
I don't know what's going on
It's getting me but it won't be long
Move out
Don't mess around
Move out
You bring me down
Move out
Forget about don't make a sound
Just move out
Move out
Don't mess around
Move out
You bring me down
Move out
Forget about don't make a sound
Just move out
Move out
Don't mess around
Move out
You bring me down
Move out
Forget about don't make a sound
Just move out
Now he's in control he is your lover
Nation stands against him he's your brother
Been a long time, been a long time
Now I've got to give somehow
Move out
Don't mess around
Move out
You bring me down
Move out
Forget about don't make a sound
Just move out
Well Well Well
song performed by by Tom Jones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Breakfast Of The Old Farts
the old farts
did meet for breakfast
of coffee and cookies
and fish and rice
and a pomelo and camote chunks
and they all fart
and part and meet again
only to fart some more
this lunchtime.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Thread Lightly As You Go
Thread Lightly As You Go
Date: February 26,2012
Tread lightly on my heart, sweetheart
Speak soft, and gently go
For locked behind the walls of steel
The pain of sorrow grows
Locked within a rusty cage
A dream in pieces lies
Like diamonds of a moonlit night
Torn from the midnight skies
Whilst round and round, the whispers
Float gentle in the gloom
Just memories in a garden
Where once our passion bloomed
Time has laid to rest, my love
The blooming of my heart
In cold and lifeless slumber
It perished in the dark
Tread lightly, love…tread lightly
So fragile is the glass
Tis fraught with many fractures
And wounds of seasons past
The wind outside is ruthless
The days…so long and cold
A thief of bright tomorrow's
Stepped in to steal our gold
Like a puzzle left unfinished
A poem without an end
My passion's loosed and fraying
No soul to help it mend
Thread lightly, dear…thread lightly
Speak soft, and gently go
Leave only care and mercy
To tend the seeds you sowed
************************************ *********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
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Bas-Relief
She stepped up
and removed her coat placing it beside her
and turned slightly.
She took her cocked hat, twisted it
and let it fall to the floor;
it landed askew.
Hesitating she dabbed her eyes
to remove the makeup there
and the foundation too.
The pins in the hair were identified
pinched and removed;
each pin planted in the pin-cushion on the bureau.
A single shaft of sun-light was forming
retreating across the floor toward the window.
Standing in place
her hair fell softly around her shoulders;
she shook it loose
while stepping down out of her shoes
moving them aside.
They made a little rubble pile of things past
and the promise of things new.
She fingered her blouse.
Each pearl button snapped
releasing the cloth
and a v-shape formed at the top;
each snap deepening the mystery
that the emerging bra revealed.
Her thin hands flutter again
and solider-straight her blouse line
is now straight up and down;
her breathing motivating the motion
of her chest expanding and contracting.
Life to her
in that moment
was a driving engine, irresistible.
Her blouse left her finger-tips and floated
away
landing on the floor flower-petal style
arranging itself it seemed on the carpeting;
a soft white thing arrayed within a hieroglyph
of shoes, cocked hat, red coat and abandoned makeup kit-
and her satin-red pin-cushion.
Her bra snaps and falls away, down to the plush floor
rounded pyramids on the sandstone colored carpeting
joining the assemblage there;
hiding and revealing some Rosetta stone of meaning.
Bare-breasted she stood exhibiting nature's bare skin-
its givings and takings;
one nipple touched now in that gathering light,
one breath lifting it- seeming to accentuate
and simulate the rising of some nipple-dappled sun.
She stepped out of her panties trembling
for it was the last act she knew
would be the last act
before becoming fully naked;
all of her now revealed
a mixed cauldron of leaping
swirling emotions;
evaluations and assessments
condemnations and praises-
she was the bas-relief in her own hieroglyph;
her own collage of tossed aside clothing
He said 'You look so beautiful.'
She turned swiftly removing the last of it;
her Soul reaching
offering that to him too
on this their wedding eve
before their wedding night.
poem by Lonnie Hicks
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Sound of war
...
Bum! Bum! Bum!
Sound of war
it's like the roaring of a lion
I the jungle.
Sound of war
It's like flash of the lightening
Sound of war
It make people lose their strength
Sound of war
It make people to run to and fro
Sound of war
Um...
Sound of war
make people hopeless
when there is hope
Sound of war is cruel
Because it make people shudder
It make people suffer, shudder shiver, cringe
And due before they die
Sound of war
Oops!
Ouch!
Phew!
poem by Ejalonibu Abraham
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Those Words
What made you think about that, don’t ruin your life
You need to focus on the things always changing
Always moving
Banished to the back of my mind,
Best philosophy I’ve heard in my life
Those words are part
Of a book I’ve never read
A song I’ve never sung
A dream I’ve never dreamed
Part of a cloud I’ve never been to
Sailin’ on cloud nine
And I wish, I wish it was mine
There’s a girl
Miss Original Girl
She turns gray into silver
I don’t know why you can hate her
She doesn’t realize what it must be like to be me
Take her away from the best things that I am dreaming
About
But I guess those words are part
Of a book I’ve never read
A song I’ve never sung
A dream I’ve never dreamed
Part of that cloud I’ve never been to
Sailin’ on cloud nine
And I wish, I wish it was mine
I wish it was forever mine
The best day on my lips tastes like candy
When you taste it it’s a whole different story
People don’t live like this, they
Don’t all sound the same
No one’s ever worried about my hiding, where I might be
And I’m wishing
Still wishing
Still dreaming but
I have hoped, I have failed
I have dreamed, I have fallen
I have wished, I have retreated
I have tried, I have collided
I have done it, I have succeeded
But I still know through this fog
I know those words are part
Of a book I’ve never read
Never even looked at
A song I’ve never sung for you
A dream I’ve never dreamed
At least in this lifetime
Part of that same cloud I’ve never been to
Ever in my life
Now I’m sailin’ on cloud nine
And I think back to the time
When I wished, I wished, I dreamed that it was mine
And now it is forever mine
Awareness
hearing the sound
of the feet
of the ant
pulling a crumb
of bread
on the floor
just right
below
my feet
and then
noticing
the feather
of the bird
you picked
yesterday
under the tree
while you
were walking
it has fallen
from your
table and
then it dropped
on the floor
beside the
red ant
you heard
the sound of
softness
and it was
very loud
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Plaintive Night
The evening lay hot and sticky.
I lay wakeful, sleepless and fretful
Drowning in the sultry heat.
The sounds of eventide drifted in
To ooze across my open window.
As I listened with attentive ear,
Each errant sound was carried to my bed
By the winds gentle proposition.
She gently trembled silken curtains to rustle.
A disembodied voice in the plaintive night,
To bring the pungent scents of the frangipan.
The chitterings of playful cicadas
In deep dark velvet midnight.
Far off a murmured accompaniment
Brought soft and low across the turgid air.
The gently whispering sound of the sea.
P H Brookes Copyright 2012
poem by Paul Brookes
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