Wot a Pair
I waz walking down Wyefront street
When me trousers ran away,
I waz feeling incomplete
But still me trousers would not stay,
When I found where they had gone
De pair addressed me rather blunt,
And they told me they were sick of being put on
Back to front.
I told dem I would treat dem good
And wear dem back to back,
I promised dem protection
From a friend who is a mac,
Me trousers did not believe a single word I had to say,
And me underpants were laughing
When me trousers ran away.
poem by Benjamin Zephaniah
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Soily
People gathered here tonight,
I want you to listen to me!
To your left and to you right,
Youve got some pretty soily company.
Reader, writer, farmer, priest,
Breed controler, born deceased.
Indian, lawyer, doctor, dog,
And a plumber with a fattened hog.
Soily, soily,
The cat in satin trousers said its oily.
Soily, soily,
The cat in satin trousers said its oily,
You know hes right.
Romans, italians, country men,
I want you to listen to me!
Ive said it twice and Ill say it again,
Weve got some pretty soily company.
Liar, cheater, jungle chief,
Saint, believer on relief.
Action painter, hitlers son,
And a commie with a tommy gun.
Soily, soily,
The cat in satin trousers said its oily.
Soily, soily,
The cat in satin trousers said its oily,
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Soily, soily,
The cat in satin trousers said its oily.
Soily, soily,
The cat in satin trousers said its oily.
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Snap (Fun Poem 125)
Woke up and had a shower
felt great and refreshed,
laid my clothes out
and started to get dressed.
Dragged on my trousers
and then pulled on my belt.
Snap!
I stood there with half a belt in my hand
and my trousers around my ankles.
Now I need a length of string
to hold my trousers up.
Looks like it gonna be
a new belt day today.
(7 July 2011)
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Baggy Trousers
Naughty boys in nasty schools
Headmasters breaking all the rules
Having fun and playing fools
Smashing up the woodwork tools
All the teachers in the pub
Passing round the ready-rub
Trying not to think of when
The lunch-time bell will ring again.
Oh what fun we had
But, did it really turn out bad
All I learnt at school
Was how to bend not break the rules
Oh what fun we had
But at the time it seemed so bad
Trying different ways
To make a difference to the days.
Headmasters had enough to-day
All the kids have gone away
Gone to fight with next-doors school
Every term, that is the rule
Sits alone and bends his cane
Same old backsides again
All the small ones tell tall tales
Walking home and squashing snails.
Oh what fun we had
But, did it really turn out bad
All I learnt at school
Was how to bend not break the rules
Oh what fun we had
But at the time it seemed so bad
Trying different ways
To make a difference to the days.
Lots of girls and lots of boys
Lots of smells and lots of noise
Playing football in the park
Kicking pushbikes after dark
Baggy trousers, dirty shirt
Pulling hair and eating dirt
Teacher comes to break it up
Back of the ead with a plastic cup.
Oh what fun we had
But, did it really turn out bad
All I learnt at school
Was how to bend not break the rules
Oh what fun we had
But at the time it seemed so bad
Trying different ways
To make a difference to the days.
Baggy trousers, baggy trousers, baggy trousers
Baggy trousers, baggy trousers, baggy trousers
song performed by by Madness
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Naked Ape!
Imagine if a Llama wore pajamas
or a Leopard put a cap upon his head.
Just think about a kangaroo in trousers
or a sheep all shorn in little skirt and vest.
Most animals would look a tad alarming
in any sort of formal wear or cloth,
but take a human being wearing nothing
now that would be quite shocking at the shops.
Imagine you or I, all bare and naked,
no underwear, no trousers and no socks.
Our faces would turn pink to think about it
but a monkey really couldn't give a toss.
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Boyhood
Boyhood Remembered
Mother and her sister played poker when I came out of the bedroom looking
for my trousers, but mother had just lost them to Aunt Gabriella who refused
to give them back. I sat by the coal fire and warmed my knees; winter with frost
roses on windows. Without long trousers I could not go to school, the idea of this
pleased me, I began reading a Robin Hood book. I didn’t care so much for him,
he was in love with a girl, but I liked the other ones in his gang. “Here, ” mother
said, “I have won back your trousers, your shoes as well; go to school now.” I was
going to take the bike out of the shed, but a monster rat sat there.
” Mother” I yelled, “There is a big rat in the shad it is eating the tires off my bike.”
Mother dropped the cat out of the window, from our third floor flat, just caught it.
“Put the cat in the shed, ” walk to school, it is good for you biking makes you lazy.”
My sister came with a crate of beer she had bought at the supermarket, ” you are
just like little girl frighten by a tiny rat, ” she said, took the bike out, put the dazed
cat on top of the crate and walked in. I was one hour late for school, but there was
no use telling the teacher why, he would only say I was telling tales as usual.
poem by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Extinct Family
Say lovely lady, can you help a gentleman safely cross the street?
Escort him home at night, treat him to dinner by romantic candlelight
Emancipation reigns supreme
She wears the trousers, skirts are rarely seen
Emancipation reigns supreme
Its just a matter of time for men to become extinct finally
Say, whats for dinner honey?
No, he will never say those words again
Be quiet when she gets home
In this feminine system youd better leave her alone
Emancipation reigns supreme
She wears the trousers, skirts are rarely seen
Emancipation reigns supreme
Its just a matter of time for men to become extinct finally
Men extinct finally, gone
She wears the trousers, Kate Bush for president
song performed by by Undeclinable Ambuscade
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For Posterity
He fell backwards into quick drying cement.
It was something that he hadn’t meant
to do. For his trousers started setting fast,
and ended up looking like a plaster cast.
A stonemason was found to chip away
at this solid mass of clayey grey.
His legs were feeling not quite his own.
He felt like a statue carved from stone.
Finally his limbs were at last released.
His trousers, surprisingly, were not creased.
Two buttock shapes were in concrete created
Something that made him feel very deflated.
For nobody else with any temerity. could say,
Their posterior was preserved for posterity, this way.
poem by Ernestine Northover
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I have *PRIDE* in myself
I tripped
I fell
Into a massive dirty puddle
I ran home embarressed
I accidently ripped my trousers
on the back
my pink hearted pants were showing
I ran to the toilets in shame
My bag broke and fell on the floor
All my books flew everywhere
and I had to chase them
I lowered my head in disbelieve
But still I have pride in myself
the next day I came to school smiling
I walked around the puddle
I wore shorts under my new trousers
And I got a new bag
Today was the day that I got to
walk with my head held high and a massive
grin across my face
I still have pride in myself
poem by MeganOlivia Maxwell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Wapping Old Stairs
'Your Molly has never been false, she declares,
Since the last time we parted at Wapping Old Stairs;
When I said that I would continue the same,
And I gave you the 'bacco-box marked with my name.
When I passed a whole fortnight between decks with you,
Did I e'er give a kiss, Tom, to one of your crew?
To be useful and kind to my Thomas I stay'd,
For his trousers I washed, and his grog too I made.
Though you promised last Sunday to walk in the Mall
With Susan from Deptford and likewise with Sall,
In silence I stood your unkindness to hear
And only upbraided my Tom with a tear.
Why should Sall, or should Susan, than me be more prized?
For the heart that is true, Tom, should ne'er be despised;
Then be constant and kind, nor your Molly forsake,
Still your trousers I'll wash and your grog too I'll make.'
poem by William Makepeace Thackeray
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Mario's Pants
I wrote this one for a Friend who now lives in Belgium. She teaches English to Foreign students. One day A student walked in with 'Purple' trousers. Prompting this.....
For the younger ones amongst us
I’ll take you on a trip
Where flower power was the fashion
And beehives made you “Hip”
This came back in an instant
When Mario walked in
With his purple drainpipe trousers
So allow me to begin
Teddy boys and rockers
Were looked upon as thugs
And Mods rode round on scooters
while Hippies played with drugs
Put your hand into your pocket
And look out for a knob
And turn the volume down please
I need to do my job
To say they’re on the little
LOUD side for us all
Is a massive understatement
So I had to make the call
Now all I see is purple
All I think is “Purple rain”
And purple headed trouser snakes
I’m at it once again!
So Mario I thank you
For the memory of the past
You may be first as lovers
But as trend setters, you’re last!
poem by Simon Gowen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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No Qualifications
Now he wanted to fly all those big aeroplanes
Trans-continental and back home again
But his brain, it was grounded
His head could not cope
No qualifications, no reasons for hope
They told him the right way to fasten his tie
Beat him for laughing and never said why
They left his for dead when the results came through
And still never asked what he wanted to do
No qualifications so late in the day
Weve screwed you up, well, now you make your own way
Now to label your trousers and label your shoes
If you dont wear nothing then label that too
No qualifications, you are the time born
If you wanna succeed you better get some qualifications
So late in the day
Weve screwed you up, well, now you make your own way
song performed by by Chris Rea
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Thugz R Us
Thugz R Us, Thugz R Us
Wearing hoods and baggy trousers on the bus
Thugz R Us, Thugz R Us
We don't want no trouble u
Unless you make a fuss
Out in the suburbs
Life is gettin' tough
Me and my posse
Necks are gettin' rough
Down in the Boy's School
Life is getting hard
Know what I'm sayin'
Fightin' in the yard
We got wide-arsed hippie moms
We look smart but we wanna be dumb
Thugz R Us, Thugz R Us
Wearing hoods and baggy trousers on the bus
Thugz R Us, Thugz R Us
We don't want no trouble u
Unless you make a fuss
I got some mash-ups
With Snoop and Dr. Dre
I play 'em louder
When my dad's away
We got a Volvo
And plastic chandeliers
Know what I'm sayin'
It's boring me to tears
We got tight-arsed drippy dads
We look good but we wanna be bad
Thugz R Us, Thugz R Us
Wearing hoods and baggy trousers on the bus
Thugz R Us, Thugz R Us
We don't want no trouble u
Unless you make a fuss
We got beer but we want some crack
We look white but we wanna be black
song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When the miller is also the mayor, there are two thieves in one pair of trousers.
Were it not for the Clash, punk would have been just a sneer, a safety pin and a pair of bondage trousers.
quote by Billy Bragg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and truth.
quote by Henrik Ibsen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A man with trousers that are too short should wear long suspenders.
I want to go out at the top, but the secret is knowing when you're at the top, it's so difficult in this business, your career fluctuates all the time, up and down, like a pair of trousers.
quote by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Rubberband Girl
See those trees
Bend in the wind
I feel theyve got a lot more sense than me
You see I try to resist
A rubberband bouncing back to life
A rubberband bend the beat
If I could learn to give like a rubberband
Id be back on my feet
A rubberband hold me trousers up
A rubberband ponytails
If I could learn to twang like a rubberband
Id be a rubberband girl
A rubberband girl me
A rubberband girl me
Oh I wanna be a rubberband girl
When I slip out
Of my catapult
I gotta land with my feet firm on the ground
And let my body catch up
A rubberband bouncing back to life
A rubberband bend the heat
If I could learn to give like a rubberband
Id be back on my feet
A rubberband hold me trousers up
A rubberband ponytails
If I could learn to twang like a rubberband
Id be a rubberband girl
A rubberband girl me
A rubberband girl me
Oh I wanna be a rubberband girl
Give like a rubberband
Twang like a rubberband
Snap like a rubberband
Rub-a-dub-a-dub-a-dub
Rub-a-dub-a-dub
Rub-a-dub
One rubberband wont keep you up
Two rubberbands wont keep you up
Three rubberbands wont keep you up
Here I go......(adlib)
.... yeah!
One rubberband wont keep you up
Two rubberbands wont keep you up
Three rubberbands wont keep you up
song performed by by Kate Bush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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