I'm rather accident-prone, I have to admit. I've broken my back, my ribs, my nose, both my legs, my arm, my wrist, a finger and a toe and cracked my skull three times.
quote by Orlando Bloom
Submitted by Diana Frone, MTTLC
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Related quotes
I've broken my nose, I've broken ribs. You name it. In fact, we just got back from South America, and I fell over a monitor speaker on the stage and almost ended up in the front row of the audience. I managed to sprain my wrist on that one but luckily nothing was broken.
quote by Keith Emerson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Day I Got My Finger Stuck Up My Nose
When I got my finger stuck up my nose
I went to a doctor, who said,
"Nothing like this has happened before,
We will have to chop off your head."
"It's only my finger stuck up my nose,
It's only my finger!" I said.
"I see what it is," the doctor replied,
"But we'll still have to chop off your head."
He went to the cabinet and took out an axe.
I watched with considerable dread.
"But it's only my finger stuck up my nose.
It's only a finger!" I said.
"Perhaps we can yank it out with a hook
Tied to some surgical thread.
Maybe we can try that," he replied
"Rather than chop off your head."
"I'm never going to pick it again.
I've now learned my lesson," I said.
"I won't stick my finger up my nose -
I'll stick it in my ear instead."
poem by Brian Patten
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Barbie Doll
This girlchild was born as usual
and presented dolls that did pee-pee
and miniature GE stoves and irons
and wee lipsticks the color of cherry candy.
Then in the magic of puberty, a classmate said:
You have a great big nose and fat legs.
She was healthy, tested intelligent,
possessed strong arms and back,
abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity.
She went to and fro apologizing.
Everyone saw a fat nose on thick legs.
She was advised to play coy,
exhorted to come on hearty,
exercise, diet, smile and wheedle.
Her good nature wore out
like a fan belt.
So she cut off her nose and her legs
and offered them up.
In the casket displayed on satin she lay
with the undertaker's cosmetics painted on,
a turned-up putty nose,
dressed in a pink and white nightie.
Doesn't she look pretty? everyone said.
Consummation at last.
To every woman a happy ending.
poem by Marge Piercy
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Horse
A sparrow hopped about the street,
And he was not a bit afraid;
He flew between a horse's feet,
And ate his supper undismayed:
I think myself the horse knew well
The bird came for the grains that fell.
For his eye was looking down,
And he danced the corn about
In his nose-bag, till the brown
Grains of corn were tumbled out;
And I fancy that he said,
'Eat it up, young Speckle-Head!'
The driver then came back again,
He climbed into the heavy dray;
And he tightened up the rein,
Cracked his whip and drove away.
But when the horse's ribs were hit,
The sparrow did not care a bit.
poem by James Stephens
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fundamental of Liar Chapter LXXXII: Accident
It’s not a terrorist attack
It’s not a battle of war
It’s just an accident
It’s not natural disaster
It’s not global tragedy
It’s just an accident
It’s not a conspiracy theory
It’s not a character murder
It’s just an accident
It’s not a careless mistake
It’s not a wrong decision
It’s just an accident
It’s not a misfortune
It’s not a twisted fate
It’s just an accident
It’s not a planned piracy
It’s not a suicide party
It’s just an accident
It’s not a mechanical failure
It’s not a human error
It’s just an accident
It’s not a crash
It’s not a downfall
It’s just an accident
poem by Maria Sudibyo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Them And Us
One finger on the button
One finger up his nose
Johnny's in some cornfield
The early warning blows
Bigger is better
More is more
Look up, america!
Gonna even up the score
Get ready boys
Third times a charm
Don't need no sweater
It's gonna keep you warm
If we can't have the ball, there won't be any winner
This time
Them and us
Them and us
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If forty-five minutes
It'll all be done
We'll all be good and crispy
But we'll still be number one
And if things go from bad to worse
We can still kill them if they kill us first
If we can't have the ball, there won't be any winner
This time
Hell-bent
Heaven sent
It all got started by an accident
If we can't have the ball, there won't be any winner
This time
Them and us
Them and us
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Them and us
Them and us
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
song performed by by Don Henley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Reggae Accident
Reggae accident
By: lucas p. gravell
1993
-- spoken:
Okay now, get ready heres your part. now listen to me.
It was a reggae accident
I said a reggae accident
I cant here you
A reggae accident
A reggae accident
A reggae accident
Now make room for the band
A reggae accident
Here they come here they come
A reggae accident
I say make room for them
A reggae accident
Ha ha, look out now
It was a reggae accident
A reggae accident
This is not a political statement
Nor is it a farce
In the land of the great bald bird
The rasta man is sparse
He does not like our urban jungle
Or our capitalistic nightmare
He does not believe in auto insurance
Mon I dont believe that is fair
It was a reggae accident
Four rastas in a rambler
A reggae accident
They came from out of nowhere
A reggae accident
They were smoking some spliff cigars
A reggae accident
They totaled out my car
I lost the case that sealed my fate
Last week in municipal court
The judge ruled for rasta restitution
Of a most peculiar sort
Now theres four stoned faces at my dinner table
And my wife wonders how come
She does not mind the extra mouths to feed
As much as she minds those after dinner drums
We sing was a reggae accident
Four rastas eating pasta
A reggae accident
Pass the parmesan please
A reggae accident
How does a rasta spell relief
A reggae accident
No problem mon, pass the spliff
Oh reggae down...
Now the sun shines on the isle of jamaica
As its done since time began
No problem says the rasta mon
When I asked to join his band
You see I sold my house I quit my job
I left that narrow-minded wife
And I moved to the island of jamaica ya
Just to live that rasta life
It was a reggae accident
Four rastas in a rambler
A reggae accident
They came from out of nowhere
A reggae accident
They were smoking some spliff cigars
A reggae accident
Now Ive become a rasta star
It was a reggae accident
Look out world
A reggae accident
You know the harder they come
A reggae accident
The harder they fall one and all
A reggae accident
It was just an accident one day
A reggae accident
A reggae accident
A reggae accident
A reggae accident
-- spoken:
Come back, come back to jamaica
Come back to the way things used to be
Ya, ya lets play some dominoes now mon
Come on...
song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Princess's Finger-Nail: A Tale Of Nonsense Land
All through the Castle of High-bred Ease,
Where the chief employment was do-as-you-please,
Spread consternation and wild despair.
The queen was wringing her hands and hair;
The maids of honor were sad and solemn;
The pages looked blank as they stood in column;
The court-jester blubbered, 'Boo-hoo, boo-hoo';
The cook in the kitchen dropped tears in the stew;
And all through the castle went sob and wail,
For the princess had broken her finger-nail:
The beautiful Princess Red-as-a-Rose,
Bride-elect of the Lord High-Nose,
Broken her finger-nail down to the quick-
No wonder the queen and her court were sick.
Never sorrow so dread before
Had dared to enter that castle door.
Oh! what would my Lord His-High-Nose say
When she took off her glove on her wedding-day?
The fairest princess in Nonsense Land,
With a broken finger-nail on her hand!
'Twas a terrible, terrible accident,
And they called a meeting of parliament;
And never before that royal Court
Had come such question of grave import
As 'How could you hurry a nail to grow?'
And the skill of the kingdom was called to show.
They sent for Monsieur File-'em-off;
He smoothed down the corners so ragged and rough.
They sent for Madame la Diamond-Dust,
Who lived on the fingers of upper-crust;
They sent for Professor de Chamois-Skin,
Who took her powder and rubbed it in;
They sent for the pudgy nurse Fat-on-the-bone
To bathe her finger in eau de Cologne;
And they called the Court surgeon, Monsieur Red-Tape,
To hear what he thought of the new nail's shape.
Over the kingdom the telegrams flew
Which told how the finger-nail thrived and grew;
And all through the realm of Nonsense Land
They offered up prayers for the princess's hand.
At length the glad tidings were heard with a shout
That the princess's finger-nail had grown out:
Pointed and polished and pink and clean,
Befitting the hand of a some-day queen.
Salutes were fired all over the land
By the home-guard battery pop-gun band;
And great was the joy of my Lord High-Nose,
Who straightway ordered his wedding clothes,
And paid his tailor, Don Wait-for-aye,
Who died of amazement the self-same day.
My lord by a jury was judged insane;
For they said, and the truth of the saying was plain,
That a lord of such very high pedigree
Would never be paying his bills, you see,
Unless he was out of his head; and so
They locked him up without more ado.
And the beautiful Princess Red-as-a-Rose
Pined for her lover, my Lord High-Nose,
Till she entered a convent and took the veil-
And this is the end of my nonsense tale.
poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Them & Us
One finger on the button
One finger up his nose
Johnnys in some cornfield
The early warning blows
Bigger is better
More is more
Look up, america!
Gonna even up the score
Get ready boys
Third times a charm
Dont need no sweater
Its gonna keep you warm
If we cant have the ball, there wont be any winner
This time
Them and us
Them and us
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
If forty-five minutes
Itll all be done
Well all be good and crispy
But well still be number one
And if things go from bad to worse
We can still kill them if they kill us first
If we cant have the ball, there wont be any winner
This time
Hell-bent
Heaven sent
It all got started by an accident
If we cant have the ball, there wont be any winner
This time
Them and us
Them and us
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
Them and us
Them and us
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust
song performed by by Don Henley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Heart Cracked
you're spreadin lies all over town about the way you brushed me off and put me
down i'm her to say make no mistake my heart cracked but it did not break I
cant deny the hurt was deep the way you slammed that door and walked right out
on me but im telling you get one thing straight my heart cracked but it did not
break shatterd dreams lay every where broken promises are all we share I
finally took all I could take my heart cacked but it did not break well i was
blue but for long cause this brand new love i got has made me strong and I'm
over you and all the ache my heart cracked but it did not break shattered
dreams lay everywhere broken promises are all we share I finally took all I
could take mty heart cracked but it did not break
song performed by by Randy Travis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skull Ring
(feat. The Stooges)
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Money
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Fancy things
The touch of a hand in the wasteland
you're walking asleep and dreaming cheap
A bird's wing don't beat for free
You're freezing cold and your family
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Money
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Fancy things
Fingers on fire to do what's bad
Ring on the finger is a skull man
Strong as a bar of steel
Weakness is that you can't feel
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Money
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Fancy things
My life is dirtied, my mind is loaded
I'm feeling and breathing and fighting
To see
People get ready now
Baby come on give your heart to me
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Money
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Fancy things
song performed by by Iggy Pop
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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To The Woman I Once Loved
i have this morning seen
this picture of a teen-age girl
in facebook,
she carries your chinese eyes
and your rosy lips
i am bothered by her nose
it is not yours as a matter of prose
her eyebrows oh i will always remember
black birds which we watched while we drank beer
when i was yet your truthful lover
when your head once rested on my shoulder
when we were seated on a bench of yore
facing a row of boats docked ashore
i am nurturing a broken heart
and so i understand how is it to be hurt
this teen-age girl who wears this sweetest smile
takes me back to you my dear -in a certain while
i smile to myself, i admit i have been so wrong
and too must i admit, i am still so strong.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Can't Put My Finger On It
Is it alive, does it writhe
Can it survive under the sun?
I can't put my finger on it.
Is it green, is it red
Is it alive or is it dead
I can't put my finger on it
Scathe with a lathe
All the days in the past
I can't put my finger on it
Is it brown, is it white
Is it really outta sight
I can't put my finger on it
Can it squeal, does it squirm
If it's fresh will it burn?
I can't put my finger on it
Can it fly, will it try
If the wings are still wet?
I can't put my finger on it
Can it heal, is it real
Can it feel the threads of time?
I can't put my finger on it
Does it glow, will it shine
Does it leave a trail of slime
I can't put my finger on it
Are you surprised when I touch the dwarf inside?
(Repeat three times)
(Repeat first verse
song performed by by Ween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Brother The Class Clown!
Brother The Class Clown!
By Lori Triggs
Copyrighted May 8 2006
Dedicated To My Brother.
My brother was born an accident!
He was always in accidents.
He burned his hand with a torch
Because he did not look before he was bending,
Just last week working.
He fainted with a swollen head and eyes
at the Air Force base in March,
Because he did not take any allergy medication.
He got a rusty nail in his foot
Because he did not see it.
He walked up a crane and
So he sprang his foot many years ago.
He has a broken nose,
Since I do not know when.
My brother is an accident waiting to happen!
poem by Lori Triggs
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Broken
The legs of the lion are broken and,
The heart of the bard is broken too!
But, who is responsible for these acts?
Marriage is a binding contract but,
Adultery seems more rampant than ever.
The lover of giving and the lover of taking,
Quickly noted with my talents to pave the way;
And out of faculty meetings and out of marriage vows!
But the legs of the lion are now broken.
Confused and devastated!
But like romantic poems tha tflows to keep the mind;
For the experiences of the inner calmness are long overdue,
And a kind statement is now needed on this heart.
I will not yield,
I will not rest,
I will not relent,
But patience is the virtue on this love!
For the legs of the lion are now broken,
And the heart of the bard is broken too.
One-third positive and two-thirds negative! !
Negativity carries the vote at times arouns us;
And like a moving bullet towards its target!
But a perfect example like this will destroy the home,
For my days are well noted with the virtues of love.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Father's Hand
I like to wear a band around my wrist,
an amulet of copper, links of bling,
a hippy weave of cotton or dried grass.
Reminds me of a change my father made
as I grew up from toddler to walker;
crossing the road he stops holding my hand
and wraps his finger and thumb around my wrist.
My bracelet now is like the brag of a teenager leaving home
and flashing his cell-phone where father's number sleeps.
I wear my father's hand around my wrist.
poem by Gerard Rochford
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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No Business Of Ours
How many times have we
turned our back on someone
who needed our help?
Too many times,
we turn our back saying
this is no business of ours.
How many times have we
walked away on someone
who just needed someone there?
Too many times,
we turn a deaf ear
when we should be listening.
How many times have we
done these things?
Too many times and more.
How many times have we
stood by in someone’s crisis,
but never did a thing.
Too many times,
we have never lifted a finger
when we should have stepped in.
One cry heard in the night
and never answered
is just one cry too many.
Cemeteries are too filled with cries
that were no business of ours.
One day we might realise
one voice can defeat an army,
and one outstretched hand of friendship
could reverse all too popular trends,
saving us from saying,
over and over again,
this is no business of ours.
7 February 2011
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The BS-ness of a Theory
Prone to lie.
Prone to seek alibis...
To coverup and deny.
Prone to articulate,
A relevance that deceives.
Prone to believe the BS-ness of a theory,
Planned and delivered...
Will be conceived and passed,
For the masses to perceive.
As reality!
To support and cloak,
Their disguises hidden.
To choke and maim all minds.
While those who suffer from these intentions,
Are left alone in their despair...
And driven to isolation.
While others stand on their backs...
To brag and boast,
Of such affairs!
In these desperate times.
Attacking those of lack with laughter.
With a thoughtlessness they dare to share...
To profit from these misdeeds long after!
How sinister,
Are they...
Who stir their own defeat!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Pick Up The Bones
Collecting pieces of my family
In an old pillow case
This one has a skull
But it don't have a face
These look like the arms of father so strong
And the ring on this finger
Means my Grandma is gone
Here's some legs in a cloud
Where my sister once played
Here's some mud made of blood
And these teeth are decayed
The ear of my brother
The hand of a friend
And I just can't
Put them back together again
Pick up the bones
And set them on fire
Follow the smoke going higher and higher
Pick up the bones
And wish them goodnight
Pray them a prayer and turn out the light
There are stains on the floor
Where kitchen once stood
There are ribs on the fire place
Mixed with the wood
There are forces in the air
Ghosts in the wind
Some bullets in the back
And some scars on the skin
There were demons with guns
Who marched through this place
Killing everything that breathed
They're an inhuman race
There are holes in the walls
Bloody hair on the bricks
And the smell of this hell
Is making me sick
Pick up the bones
And set them on fire
Follow the smoke going higher and higher
Pick up the bones
And wish them goodnight
Pray them a prayer and turn out the light
Pick up the bones
And set them on fire
Follow the scope going higher and higher
Pick up the bones
And wish them goodnight
Pray them a prayer and turn out the light
Now maybe someday
The suns gonna shine
Flowers will bloom
And all will be fine
But nothing will grow
On this burnt cursive ground
Cuz the breathe of the death
Is the only sound
song performed by by Alice Cooper from Brutal Planet
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Can't Put My Finger On It
[chanting]
Is it alive, does it writhe
Can it survive under the sun?
I can't put my finger on it
Is it green, is it red
Is it alive or is it dead
I can't put my finger on it
Scathe with a lathe
All the days in the past
I can't put my finger on it
Is it brown, is it white
Is it really outta sight
I can't put my finger on it
Do you know what i'm saying?
Do you know what i'm saying, people?
Can it squeal, does it squirm
If it's fresh will it burn?
I can't put my finger on it
Can it fly, will it try
If the wings are still wet?
I can't put my finger on it
Can it heal, is it real
Can it feel the threads of time?
I can't put my finger on it
Does it glow, will it shine
Does it leave a trail of slime
I can't put my finger on it
I tell you one time...
Are you surprised when i touch the dwarf inside?
(repeat three times)
(repeat first verse)
Ha ha ha...oh yeah, oh yeah!
song performed by by Ween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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