Little Jack Horner
Little Jack Horner
Sat in a corner,
Eating of Christmas pye;
He put in his thumb,
And pull'd out a plumb,
And what a good boy was I.
poem by Anonymous English
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Hop-O'-My-Thumb And Little Jack Horner
Hop-o'-my-thumb and little Jack Horner,
What do you mean by tearing and fighting?
Sturdy dog Trot close round the corner,
I never caught him growling and biting.
poem by Christina Georgina Rossetti
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Quintetto
[To the tune of "Turning, turning, turning, as wheel goes round."]
RECITATIVE. MR. PAPERSTAMP:
Jack Horner's CHRISTMAS PIE my learned nurse
Interpreted to mean the public purse.
From thence a plum he drew. O happy Horner!
Who would not be ensconced in thy snug corner
THE FIVE:
While round the public board all eagerly we linger,
for what we can get we will try, try, try:
And we'll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We'll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
MR. FEATHERNEST:
By my own poetic laws, I'm a dealer in applause
For those who don't deserve it, but will buy, buy
So round the court I linger, and thus I get a finget
A finger, finger, finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
THE FIVE:
And we'll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We'll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
MR. VAMP:
My share of pie to win, I will dash through thick and thin
And philosophy and liberty shall fly, fly, fly:
And truth and taste shall know, that their eve Iasting foe
Has a finger, finger, finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
THE FIVE:
And we'll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We'll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
MR. KILLTHEDEAD:
I'll make my verses rattle with the din of war and battle,
For war doth increase sa-la-ry, ry, ry:
And I'll shake the public ears with the triumph of Algiers,
And thus I ll get a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
THE FIVE:
And we'll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We'll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
MR. PAPERSTAMP:
And while you thrive by ranting, I'll try my luck at canting,
And scribble verse and prose all so dry, dry, dry:
And Mystic's patent smoke public intellect shall choke,
Arld we ll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
THE FIVE:
We'll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We'll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
MR. ANYSIDE ANTIJACK:
My tailor is so clever, that my coat will turn for ever,
And take any colour you can dye, dye, dye:
For all my earthly wishes are among the loaves and fishes,
And to have my little finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
THE FIVE:
And we'll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We'll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
poem by Thomas Love Peacock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Merry Christmas
Ho Ho Ho Merry Christmas said the fat fellow gleeful before me, while he was feasting and eating all the treats spread before him. The Clause Effect caused him to flee up the chimney, but he was so plumb that he took a dump and landed on me. As he was rising I looked and saw only one gift underneath the Christmas tree, that's when he said to me the Gifter of Christmas gives to thee I'm only a deliver you see, then what a wonder my eyes were opened, and I did see who brought this stuff and I looked again then there were three. Then, he said when you hear the jingling of my sleigh bell you will again see the magic of the Christmas spell upon which you have befell.
poem by Vanita Allgood
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What’s Christmas?
Christmas isn’t buying new toys;
Christmas isn’t wearing new clothes;
Christmas isn’t eating good foods;
Christmas isn’t sending great cards!
Christmas is sharing what you’ve got;
Christmas is giving those without;
Christmas is showing God’s love to
Poor, downtrodden, unlucky ones on earth!
poem by John Celes
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Ain't Misbehavin'
No one to talk with
All by myself
No one to walk with
But I'm happy on the shelf
Ain't misbehavin'
I'm savin' my love for you
I know for certain
The one I love
I'm through with flirtin'
It's just you I'm thinkin' of
Ain't misbehavin'
I'm savin' my love for you
Like Jack Horner
In the corner
Don't go nowhere
What do I care
Your kisses
Are worth waiting for
Believe me
I don't stay out late
Don't care to go
I'm home about eight
Just me and my radio
Ain't misbehavin'
I'm savin' my-y love for you
Like Jack Horner
In the corner
Don't go nowhere
What do I care
Your kisses
Are worth waiting for
Believe me-ee
I don't stay out late
Don't care to go
I'm home about eight
Just me and my radio
Ain't misbehavin'
I'm saving my love for you...
song performed by by Nat King Cole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Goodnight Baby Love
Kiss those little
hands and feet.
Curl`ed toes
and fingers neat.
Little face
with rosebud lips.
Kiss babe all
to fingertips.
Kiss babes feet
sweet up to thumb.
Kiss as much
as you have done.
Kiss as much
as you are able.
Then lay love gently
in the cradle.
Sally Plumb
poem by Sally Plumb Plumb
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Aint Misbehavin
No one to talk to ....all by myself
No one to walk with.....Im happy on the shelf
Aint misbehavin......savin all my love for you
I know for certain......the one I love
Im through with flirtin......its just you that Ive been thinkin of
Aint misbehavin.......savin all my love for you
Like jack horner.....in that ole corner
Dont go nowhere.....what do I care?
Your kisses are worth waitin for......believe me
I dont stay out late.......no where to go
Im home about eight......just me and my radio
Aint misbehavin.......savin all my love for you
(instrumental break)
Like jack horner.....in that ole corner
Dont go nowhere.....what do I care?
Your kisses are worth waitin for......believe me
I dont stay out late.......no where to go
Im home about eight......just me and my radio
Aint misbehavin.......savin all my love for you
Aint misbehavin......Im savin all my love for you
song performed by by Louis Armstrong
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Thumbsucker
I met her on a corner in Duluth
(That’s the truth.)
She was tryin’ to fix her shoe in a telephone booth
(Her name was Ruth.)
She said she was just waiting for a bus
But I hid my thumb cause I knew just what she was,
And I ain’t gonna let no thumbsucker such my thumb.
It’ll drive you crazy and leave you deaf and dumb.
It’ll make you crawl and climb the wall
Leave you without no thumb at all.
So I ain’t gonna let no thumbsucker suck my thumb.
I’ll tell you what them thumbsuckers like to do.
They suck your thumb till it’s wrinkled like a prune
They’ll say you’ve got the sweetest thumb of all
But then they suck the thumb of the guy livin’ down the hall
That’s why I ain’t gonna let no thumbsucker suck my thumb
(etc. . . etc. . . until finally giving in.)
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lil Jack Horny
Mother goose
Never should haver ever let that jack get loose
But that little boy blue
Keeps messing all the things he gets his hands into
Now look what youve done
Stuck in your thumb, pulled out a plum
Mama says, boys will be boys
Thats lil jack horny
Mama says boys will be boys
Thats lil jack horny
Jack and jill
Went up and down and up and fooled around the hill
Now only time will tell
How late the rabbit will arrive in wonderland
Now look what youve done
Stuck in your thumb, pulled out a plum
Mama says, boys will be boys
Thats lil jack horny
Daddy says dont need no birth control
Thats lil jack horny
song performed by by Extreme
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wasp Man
Under my thumb's the girl who once had me down
Under my thumb's the girl who once pushed me around
It's down to me, the diff'rence in the clothes she wears
It's down to me, the change has come, she's under my thumb
Under my thumb's a squirming dog who's just had her day
Under my thumb's a girl who has just changed her ways
It's down to me, the way she does what she's told
It's down to me, the change has come, she's under my thumb
Under my thumb's a Siamese cat of a girl
Under my thumb she's the sweetest pet in the world
It's down to me, the way she does what she's told
It's down to me, the change has come, she's under my thumb
Under my thumb her eyes are just kept to herself
Under my thumb, well, I can still look at someone else
It's down to me, the way she talks when she's spoken to
It's down to me, the change has come, she's under my thumb
song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jack U Off
If ure looking for somewhere to go
Thought Id take u to a movie show
Sittin in the back and Ill jack u off
I cant give u everything u want
But I can take u to a restaurant
If ure not hungry
Ill jack u off
If your man aint no good
Come on over to my neighborhood
We can jump in the sack and Ill jack u off
If ure tired of the masturbater
Little girl, we can go on a date
And if u like, Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off
I only do it for a worthy cause
Viriginity or menopause
Ull have an instant heart attack if I jack u off
If u really really want to be a star
We gotta do it in your mommas car
Naked in a cadillac, Ill jack u off
If we cant find no place to go
Girl, Ill take u to a movie show, we can sit in the back
And Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, yeah
Yeah, yeah, Ill jack u off
Alright say, well put some funk on here
Ill jack u off
If u aint chicken baby, come here
If ure good Ill even let u steer
As a matter of fact, u can jack me off
Yeah, thats right
Ill jack u off, yeah
Ill jack u off
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Christmas Tree! A Christmas Tree!
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
With dark green needled memories
Of childhood dreams and mysteries
Wrapped present-like in front of me.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
I glimpse a past wherein i see
The child that then grew into me
Not forward fast but haltingly.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
A time for being with family
A time that's gone so fleetingly
Yet lives for always deep in me.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
When twelfth night comes whole hauntingly
One lingered look and then i see
No Christmas tree where it would be.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
With feelings now felt longingly
No corner in my house to see
The magic of that Christmas tree.
poem by David Keig
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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She's Got The Jack
She gave me the Queen
She gave me the King
She was wheelin' and dealin'
Just doin' her thing
She was holdin' a pair
But I had to try
Her Deuce was wild
But my Ace was high
But how was I to know
That she'd been dealt with before
Said she'd never had a Full House
But I should have known
From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She'd have the card to bring me down
If she played it right
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She played 'em fast
And she played 'em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she'd been shuffled before
Said she'd never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin'
From the bottom of the pack
And if I'd known what she was dealin' out
I'd have dealt it back
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, and who knows what else?
She's got the jack, yeah, yeah
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack,
Ooh, It was a bad deal, (Jack)
She gave me the (Jack), hey
She's got the (Jack), she's got the (Jack)
She's got the (Jack), ooh can't you tell
She's got the (Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack)
(She's got the jack, she's got the Jack)
She's got the jack, she's got the Jack
She's got the jack, you never know!
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, and it hurts!
(She's got the jack)
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Aaaaaah!
Oooooh!
Thank you, thank you, thank you people, thank you, thank you
I'm glad you like the show, yes, thank you very much folks.
Goodnight and God bless
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No Christmas Tree Where It Should Be
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
With dark green needled memories
Of childhood dreams and mysteries
Wrapped present-like in front of me.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
I glimpse a past wherein i see
The child that then grew into me
Not forward fast but haltingly.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
A time for being with family
A time that's gone so fleetingly
Yet lives for always deep in me.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
When twelfth night comes whole hauntingly
One lingered look and then i see
No Christmas tree where it would be.
A Christmas tree! A Christmas tree!
With feelings now felt tearfully
No home, no kids surrounding me
No corner in my house to see
The magic of that Christmas tree.
poem by David Keig
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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2nd Christmas Without You!
My little christmas,
with Dad, sister and Brother,
another christmas passes,
still without my mother,
not even so much,
as a seasons greeting,
a christmas without her,
caused by her cheating,
i think about if shes thinking about me,
if she was here,
how different would things be?
today i missed your smile,
i missed your laugh,
the look of hungry faces,
as the turkey was being carved,
the day passed by,
with fun and banter,
with words being whispered,
'oi, pass me another fanta, '
the day was good,
but something wasnt there,
i missed my tiny feely-boy,
hes no longer sleeping,
just an empty chair,
without felix and mum,
christmas will never be the same,
but we pull through together,
again and again,
so another christmas passes,
me, sister, brother and dad,
and this christmas was fun,
with many more to be had!
poem by Emma Jane Rae
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My Nordic Christmas Story
I bought boots for Christmas to tread the icy plains.
I bought toys for Christmas with Santas in my trains.
I lit my home for Christmas with a Cedar bright.
I made cup cakes for Christmas for my love's delight.
I bought Jane a dress for Christmas with ribbons pink.
I bought for my grandma a cozy Christmas mink.
I bought for Jill two amazing Christmas Sparrows.
I bought for Jack a toy quiver full of arrows.
I bought an Elk for Christmas with nose giving light.
I bought for Christmas, candles for a solemn night.
I made for Christmas a warm and sweet lemonade,
and I sang on Christmas morn, a sweet Serenade.
poem by Joseph C Ogbonna (18 December 2020)
Submitted by Joseph C Ogbonna
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Funny Chrismas!
Funny Christmas, thats what I'm s'posed to be writing about here?
Well, I don't really know what to write about that will make it funny.
What is funny about Christmas?
Santa is just a big ol' fat jolly man who just sits around eating cooking and drinking milk all year. Whats funny about that?
The reindeer are just deer who can supposedly fly. I don't get it.
What is funny about Christmas?
Is it the fact that we are s'posed to act happy and pretend we're having fun when we're really not?
I don't really get it can you explain it to me please?
What is funny about Christmas?
I don't really even believe in the whole 'Christmas celebration' thing.
I don't understand why people think that its funny either. Can you tell me?
What is funny about Christmas?
poem by Courtney Mayer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Favourite Christmas Things
[With apologies to Rogers and Hammerstein for fouling up a perfectly good song. Feel free to sing along, if you've a mind to.]
Robins and reindeer and tinsel and holly
Christmas trees, mistletoe, Santa so jolly
Listening to carollers sing 'We Three Kings'
These are a few of my favourite things.
Films like 'White Christmas' and 'Jack Frost' are charming.
Scrooge and his spirits are somewhat alarming.
And Julie Andrews. I love when she sings
'These are a few of my favourite things'.
Turkey and Brussels and mince pies and jelly,
Eating till I've got no room in my belly
Then scoffing more till my waist button pings
These are a few of my favourite things.
When it's cold out,
And the night's long.
When I'm feeling blue,
I simply shout out 'Merry Christmas, my Friends,
And Happy New Year.....to You! '
poem by Dawn Ferrett
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Christmas Comes
Christmas comes with children singing,
Christmas comes with sleigh bells ringing,
Christmas comes with frosty nights,
Christmas comes with snowball fights.
Christmas comes with Santa Claus,
Christmas comes with snowy floors,
Christmas comes with robins and reindeer,
Chsitmas comes with a hearty cheer.
Christmas comes with gold, frankincense and myrrh,
Christmas comes with Jesus' birth,
Christmas comes with angels from afar,
Christmas comes with a wondrous star.
Christmas comes now, at last,
Christmas comes, like in the past,
Christmas comes after such a long wait,
Christmas comes and it will be great.
poem by Amy Darnbrook
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Long Road Home
When I go back from Billy's place I always have to roam
The mazy road, the crazy road that leads the long way home.
Ma always says, "Why don't you come through Mr Donkin's land?
The footbridge track will bring you back." Ma doesn't understand.
I cannot go that way, you know, because of Donkin's dog;
So I set forth and travel north,, and cross the fallen log.
Last week, when I was coming by, that log had lizards in it;
And you can't say I stop to play if I just search a minute.
I look around upon the ground and, if there are no lizards,
I go right on and reach the turn in front of Mrs Blizzard's.
I do not seek to cross the creek, because it's deep and floody,
And Ma would be annoyed with me if I came home all muddy.
Perhaps I throw a stone or so at Mrs Blizzard's tank,
Because it's great when I aim straight to hear the stone go "Plank
Then west I wend from Blizzard's Bend, and not a moment wait,
Except, perhaps, at Mr Knapp's, to swing upon his gate.
So up the hill I go, until I reach the little paddock
That Mr Jones at present owns and rents to Mr Craddock.
For boys my size the sudden rise is quite a heavy pull,
And yet I fear a short-cut here because of Craddock's bull;
So I just tease the bull till he's as mad as he can get,
And then I face the corner place that's been so long to let.
It's very well for Ma to tell about my dawdling habits.
What would you do, suppose you knew the place was thick with rabbits?
I do not stay for half a day, as Ma declares I do,.
No, not for more than half-an-hour - perhaps an hour - or two.
Then down the drop I run, slip-slop, where all the road is slithy.
And have to go quite close, you know, to Mr Horner's smithy.
A moment I might tarry by the fence to watch them hammer,
And, I must say, learn more that way than doing sums and grammar.
And, if I do sometimes climb through, I do not mean to linger'.
Though I did stay awhile the day Bill Homer burst his finger.
I just stand there to see the pair bang some hot iron thing
And watch Bill Horner swing the sledge and hit the anvil - Bing!
(For Mr Horner and his son are great big brawny fellows:
Both splendid chaps!) And then, perhaps, they let me blow the bellows.
A while I stop beside the shop, and talk to Mr Horner;
Then off I run, and race like fun around by Duggan's Corner.
It's getting late, and I don't wait beside the creek a minute,
Except to stop, maybe, and drop a few old pebbles in it.
A few yards more, and here's the store that's kept by Mr Whittle-
And you can't say I waste the day if I 'ust wait ... a little.
One day, you know, a year ago, a man gave me a penny,
And Mr Whittle sold me sweets (but not so very many).
You never know your luck, and so I look to see what's new
In Mr Whittle's window. There's a peppermint or two,
Some buttons and tobacco (Mr Whittle calls it "baccy"),
And fish in tins, and tape, and pins.... And then a voice calls, "Jacky!"
"I'm coming, Ma. I've been so far-around by Duggan's Corner.
I had to stay awhile to say 'Good day' to Mr Horner.
I feel so fagged; I've tramped and dragged through mud and over logs, Ma -
I could not go short-cuts, you know, because of bulls and dogs, Ma.
The creek, Ma? Why, it's very high ! You don't call that a gutter?
Bill Horner chews tobacco, Ma .... I'd like some bread and butter."
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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