Here Follow Several Occasional Meditations

By night when others soundly slept,
And had at once both case and rest,
My waking eyes were open kept
And so to lie I found it best.

I sought Him whom my soul did love,
With tears I sought Him earnestly;
He bowed His ear down from above.
In vain I did not seek or cry.

My hungry soul He filled with good,
He in His bottle put my tears,
My smarting wounds washed in His blood,
And banished thence my doubts and fears.

What to my Savior shall I give,
Who freely hath done this for me?
I'll serve Him here whilst I shall live
And love Him to eternity.

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By Night when Others Soundly Slept

By night when others soundly slept
And hath at once both ease and Rest,
My waking eyes were open kept
And so to lie I found it best.

I sought him whom my Soul did Love,
With tears I sought him earnestly.
He bow'd his ear down from Above.
In vain I did not seek or cry.

My hungry Soul he fill'd with Good;
He in his Bottle put my tears,
My smarting wounds washt in his blood,
And banisht thence my Doubts and fears.

What to my Saviour shall I give
Who freely hath done this for me?
I'll serve him here whilst I shall live
And Loue him to Eternity.

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Politik

Look at the earth from outer space
Everyone must find a place
Give me time and give me space
Give me real, dont give me fake
Give me strength, reserve control
Give me heart and give me soul
Give me time, give us a kiss
Tell me your own politik
And open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Just open up your eyes
Give me one, cause one is best
In confusion, confidence
Give me piece of mind and trust
Dont forget the rest of us
Give me strength, reserve control
Give me heart and give me soul
Wounds that heal and cracks that fix
Tell me your own politik
And open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Open up your eyes
Just open up your eyes
But give me love over, love over, love over this, ahhh
And give me love over, love over, love over this, ahhh

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Error And Loss

Upon an eve I sat me down and wept,
Because the world to me seemed nowise good;
Still autumn was it, & the meadows slept,
The misty hills dreamed, and the silent wood
Seemed listening to the sorrow of my mood:
I knew not if the earth with me did grieve,
Or if it mocked my grief that bitter eve.

Then ’twixt my tears a maiden did I see,
Who drew anigh me on the leaf-strewn grass,
Then stood and gazed upon me pitifully
With grief-worn eyes, until my woe did pass
From me to her, and tearless now I was,
And she mid tears was asking me of one
She long had sought unaided and alone.

I knew not of him, and she turned away
Into the dark wood, and my own great pain
Still held me there, till dark had slain the day,
And perished at the grey dawn’s hand again;
Then from the wood a voice cried: “Ah, in vain,
In vain I seek thee, O thou bitter-sweet!
In what lone land are set thy longed-for feet?”

Then I looked up, and lo, a man there came
From midst the trees, and stood regarding me
Until my tears were dried for very shame;
Then he cried out: “O mourner, where is she
Whom I have sought o’er every land and sea?
I love her and she loveth me, and still
We meet no more than green hill meeteth hill.”

With that he passed on sadly, and I knew
That these had met and missed in the dark night,
Blinded by blindness of the world untrue,
That hideth love and maketh wrong of right.
Then midst my pity for their lost delight,
Yet more with barren longing I grew weak,
Yet more I mourned that I had none to seek.

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A Tale Of Tragedy

I saw your life as a pool of agony,
Your pain filled,
and categorized in the midst's
of your self destruction
I saw you scream your last
declaration of distress.

' My father, my father, why hast thou forsaken me? '
Then came the peace you sought for all mankind,
But only to your eyes!
Not mine, nor generations of mine!
Only your eyes saw that peace O Christ,
It was your soul alone,
cleansed by the blood of your sacrifice,
no others!
The peace you sought for all mankind was your own,
and in your own death you found it,
As will all the living,
each for themselves,
seek peace while in life,
But it is in death that peace finds us all,
and to each individual in their own way,
For men are not sheep and gods are mere
images of that peace we all seek

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My Eyes

Don’t look into my eyes, my love
For they would reveal to you…
How much they’ve waited for you
Waking every night
And crying every day
For years together
And decades of
Thirsting for you
In their every expression
Of silent words they say…

Don’t look into my eyes, my love
For they would tell you,
How they felt tired and lost
In their diurnal crusade
Of looking at the empty streets
Ahead
And hoping to see a glimpse,
A speck of that fleeting image
Of you and you and only you.

Don’t look into my eyes, my love
For they would overflow with tears,
The moment they see their Beloved
In you
And they would narrate to you
In all Silence
How very much they missed
Seeing you…
When they opened
Their eyes every morning
After every night’s trial and error
Of falling asleep…

And then waking up
In the middle of the night
As if petrified of terror
Those broken dreams would cause
When they have to lose you
From their tranquil sleep to
The harsh, desolate reality
Of you not being there
For them.

Don’t look into my eyes, my love
For they have nothing good to tell you,
Besides the pain and the agony
Of a lifetime separation
They have undergone,
Missing you,
Needing you,
And loving you like Crazy.

As if you and me
Were lost parts of a Body
And fragmented pieces
Of a shattered Soul
Trying to solve the Jigsaw
Of where to fit in the parts
Of existence, love and
Togetherness…

So that once if they meet,
They don’t fall into pieces again
And scatter away
Like the withered leaves
Of the autumn trees
Missing each other
Unto eternity
And searching each other
Unto oblivion.

Don’t look into my eyes, my love
For if you ever look into them,
Make them yours forever...
So that wherever they go,
Whatever they seek
Whoever they see…
The roads don’t look empty
Any more
Even amidst the crowd
Of teeming strangers

For no matter who is there
On the streets
At home
In the market
Or the library
My eyes would rest awhile
Seek respite,
In the Assurance
Of the Sight
That You being there for them
To kiss a good night’s
“sweet dreams”
At the end of their
Daily sojourn
Of meeting people
Reading books
And writing poetry…

Like the way
I am writing to you now
With those very same eyes
That await you everyday, my love
In their dreams, desires
And those very Silent -
Endless flow of
Ceaseless tears…

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I Lost This Love

Your eyes are stars on sky and sky is your face,
Your smile, your whispers live in me forever,
Above me is the sky and i can feel you mine,
Wind is caressing my heart when for you strongly beating.

I close my eyes and see your smile that i adored so much once,
My eyes are bursting into tears and my soul so silent is,
Because i lost this love, that only once in time to me was given,
I sought for you my whole life and when i found you, you betrayed me.

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Christina Georgina Rossetti

Conference Between Christ, The Saints, And The Soul

I am pale with sick desire,
For my heart is far away
From this world's fitful fire
And this world's waning day;
In a dream it overleaps
A world of tedious ills
To where the sunshine sleeps
On th' everlasting hills.
Say the Saints—There Angels ease us
Glorified and white.
They say—We rest in Jesus,
Where is not day nor night.

My Soul saith—I have sought
For a home that is not gained,
I have spent yet nothing bought,
Have laboured but not attained;
My pride strove to rise and grow,
And hath but dwindled down;
My love sought love, and lo!
Hath not attained its crown.
Say the Saints—Fresh Souls increase us,
None languish nor recede.
They say—We love our Jesus,
And He loves us indeed.

I cannot rise above,
I cannot rest beneath,
I cannot find out Love,
Nor escape from Death;
Dear hopes and joys gone by
Still mock me with a name;
My best beloved die
And I cannot die with them.
Say the Saints—No deaths decrease us,
Where our rest is glorious.
They say—We live in Jesus,
Who once died for us.

Oh, my Soul, she beats her wings
And pants to fly away
Up to immortal Things
In the Heavenly day:
Yet she flags and almost faints;
Can such be meant for me?
Come and see—say the Saints.
Saith Jesus—Come and see.
Say the Saints—His Pleasures please us
Before God and the Lamb.
Come and taste My Sweets—saith Jesus—
Be with Me where I am.

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Sestina

I saw my soul at rest upon a day
As a bird sleeping in the nest of night,
Among soft leaves that give the starlight way
To touch its wings but not its eyes with light;
So that it knew as one in visions may,
And knew not as men waking, of delight.


This was the measure of my soul's delight;
It had no power of joy to fly by day,
Nor part in the large lordship of the light;
But in a secret moon-beholden way
Had all its will of dreams and pleasant night,
And all the love and life that sleepers may.


But such life's triumph as men waking may
It might not have to feed its faint delight
Between the stars by night and sun by day,
Shut up with green leaves and a little light;
Because its way was as a lost star's way,
A world's not wholly known of day or night.


All loves and dreams and sounds and gleams of night
Made it all music that such minstrels may,
And all they had they gave it of delight;
But in the full face of the fire of day
What place shall be for any starry light,
What part of heaven in all the wide sun's way?


Yet the soul woke not, sleeping by the way,
Watched as a nursling of the large-eyed night,
And sought no strength nor knowledge of the day,
Nor closer touch conclusive of delight,
Nor mightier joy nor truer than dreamers may,
Nor more of song than they, nor more of light.


For who sleeps once and sees the secret light
Whereby sleep shows the soul a fairer way
Between the rise and rest of day and night,
Shall care no more to fare as all men may,
But be his place of pain or of delight,
There shall he dwell, beholding night as day.


Song, have thy day and take thy fill of light
Before the night be fallen across thy way;
Sing while he may, man hath no long delight.

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A Truth Beyond Compromise.

She bears the emblem of the crescent moon upon her chest
Sinking, seeing the warmth of her bosom, I’m in need of a rest.
She speaks to angels who guide her thoughts, she’s seeking
All it is that mortal man hath ever sought,

A truth beyond compromise.
A truth as true as the sky
In revealing her emotion.

Rippling oceans shatter the establishment calm Of palm tree laden bays
Tourists, pleasure hunters are spread into dismay by a blood of the
Goddess’ tears. Brooding on her fears, she’s wasting away the years,
Too long she hath been tearing, frantic at her hair.

He cares but can’t reveal
Or speak of the way he feels
Still his heart doth weep
In and out of sleeping.
Still the Love he keeps
No other treasure doth
He wish to seek.

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Pearls Of Soul

In the still of the night,
My mind was so confused and sad,
I closed my eyes and start to cry,
When you were hurting me with hard words.

In front of my eyes memories open up,
Beautiful memories that we lived once,
I asked myself why this nightmare happend,
What we have done with our love?

Our love suppose to be our vow,
To respect and share till the end of time,
You should see the love i have for you,
You should have faith in me like i have in you.

Tears are running down my cheeks,
Digging my skin, burning my face,
Small pearls of soul rolling, shinning,
Merging together to my chin.

You have to look into my eyes,
And see the blue torment flow,
Don't let it waste these pearls of soul,
Don't let my tears waste in vain.

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Easy-Livers

Seek many have done to do,
An easy life to live that's sought.
With beliefs to succeed,
Comes without disappointment.
Or fears that bring unstoppable tears.
Sometimes in darkness to no one shown.

Behind the scenes few people see,
What agonizes achievements to be received.
Or those heartbreaks suffered,
When one is alone.
With a fighting against doubts tossed about,
Those 'easy-livers' condone to moan and groan.

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Love Lays Its Tune

Last night I made love for the first time
She gave me her soul, I surely gave her mine
We lay there just crying with both joy and gloom
The joy of what we had and the pain left
Where love lays its tune
Love tears you down
Oh turns you round
My heart bears the scars of emotional wounds
Im scared so its hard to give myself to you
Hurt builds a wall round our hearts its true
The brave learn to live with the good and bad
Where love lays its tune
Love tears you down
Oh turns you round
Oh I swear Id do anything for you little girl
Nothing stupid or wrong but something
Thatll make me true little girl
Love tears you down
Oh turns you round

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Isaac Watts

Psalm 116 part 1

Recovery from sickness.

I love the Lord; he heard my cries,
And pitied every groan;
Long as I live, when troubles rise,
I'll hasten to his throne.

I love the Lord; he bowed his ear,
And chased my griefs away;
O let my heart no more despair,
While I have breath to pray!

My flesh declined, my spirits fell,
And I drew near the dead;
While inward pangs and fears of hell
Perplexed my wakeful head.

"My God," I cried, "thy servant save,
"Thou ever good and just;
Thy power can rescue from the grave,
Thy power is all my trust."

The Lord beheld me sore distressed,
He bid my pains remove
Return, my soul, to God thy rest,
For thou hast known his love.

My God hath saved my soul from death,
And dried my falling tears;
Now to his praise I'll spend my breath,
And my remaining years.

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My Heart's Window

If I will love you, can you soothe all my sorrow
Can you erase doubts and fears that I have
Can you catch all tears falling from my eyes
Will you open the window of my heart


Will you wrap me by the magic of your love
And bind me under the shades of your comfort
Will you show me the beauty of this world
Once you unlocked the window of my heart.


If you can open the window of my heart,
Will you hold and hug me very tight
Will you kiss me to feel the warm of your lips
Can you take care and save my soul tonight


How blissful maybe to stay, to live beside you
How romantic maybe to make love with you
However, all of these things I can only know
Once you unlocked my heart's window.

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God's Simple Way of Salvation

God's desire is for all men to come to repentance from all the earth,
Indeed all men must come to Salvation in Christ through a new birth.

For all men everywhere have been born naturally into a life of sin,
And every man has a soul that Christians should be seeking to win.

God's way of Salvation is foolishness to those who ultimately perish,
But for all those saved by The Blood it's something we truly cherish.

The unbelievers perish because they refuse to believe and be saved,
And because they fail to love the Truth they continue to be depraved.

These words may seem very harsh and even quite judgmental to some,
But my friend Jesus said to all, if anyone is thirsty, let him come.

Like the woman at the well, Jesus knew my sins and what was in store,
And like the woman Jesus told me you're forgiven, go and sin no more.

And a sinful soul is what I am, so I humbly entreated The Son of Man,
So on a cross a sinless man washed my sins in The Blood of The Lamb.

Filled with sin and shame that day I accepted God's Great Salvation,
And now my life I live for Him, with much due love and appreciation.

On the cross all alone, Christ took the punishment for all of my sin,
Now with His love and power above I live to seek out souls to win.

For one sinless man on Calvary died to cleanse and set sinners free,
So I humbly serve That Man from Calvary pointing sinners to Eternity.

(Copyright © 06/2003)

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The Maid's Lament

I loved him not; and yet, now he is gone,
I feel I am alone.
I check'd him while he spoke; yet, could he speak,
Alas! I would not check.
For reasons not to love him once I sought,
And wearied all my thought
To vex myself and him: I now would give
My love could he but live
Who lately lived for me, and, when he found
'Twas vain, in holy ground
He hid his face amid the shades of death!
I waste for him my breath
Who wasted his for me! but mine returns,
And this torn bosom burns
With stifling heat, heaving it up in sleep,
And waking me to weep
Tears that had melted his soft heart: for years
Wept he as bitter tears!
Merciful God! such was his latest prayer,
These may she never share.
Quieter is his breath, his breast more cold,
Than daisies in the mould,
Where children spell, athwart the churchyard gate,
His name and life's brief date.
Pray for him, gentle souls, whoe'er you be,
And oh! pray too for me!

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Here Comes The Tears

Once I dreamed that love would come and sweep me up away
Now it seems lifes passed me by, Im still alone today
Here come the tears
Looks like itll always be the same
No one here to comfort me
Here come the tears
All alone, no one cares.
So much to give to you all out there.
Take me now, in your arms.
Let me rest, safe from harm.
Ohhh.... I want to be loved...
I need to be loved...
Wont somebody love me....
(solo)
Here they come, here come the tears...
Here they come, here come the tears...
Here they come, here come the tears...
Here they come, here come the tears...
Here they come, here come the tears...
Here they come, here come the tears...
Here they come, here come the tears...
Here they come, here come the tears...
Here they come, here come the tears...
Here they come, here come the tears... *
(* repeat two more times in background)
Here come the tears...
Here come the tears...
Here come the tears...
Here come the tears...
Here come the tears, ohhh
Here come the tears, ohhh
Here come the tears

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Cold And Empty

Maybe I've been on the road to long
Livin my life thru these songs
I guess lovin a music man
Really wasn't in your plans
Does it matter if I'm sorry again
And why should I apologize
You knew all along this was my life
You know my ins and outs
All my fears and doubts
Its the life I love
But its you I can't live without
And this whole world seems
Cold and empty
Someone please turn on the lights
Lord if there's an angel you could send me
I could use one here tonight
Now where am I supposed to go
My only home was in your soul
I know that I cant stay here
And drown in a pool of tears
Should I pack my pride
And face this life alone
And this whole world seems
Cold and empty
Someone please turn on the lights
Lord if there's an angel you could send me
I sure could use one tonight
Maybe its me who's cold and empty
And in my darkness I can't see the light
Please god if there's an angel
You could send me
Cause there's one missin from my life
You are my heart, you are my soul
Wherever you are, that where I go
You know my ins and outs
All of my fears and doubts
Its the life I love
But its you I can't live without
Yes its the life I love
But its you I can't live without
The life I love
The life I love
But its you I can't live without

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Song V: Through the Trouble and Tangle

Love is enough: through the trouble and tangle
From yesterday's dawning to yesterday's night
I sought through the vales where the prisoned winds wrangle,
Till, wearied and bleeding, at end of the light
I met him, and we wrestled, and great was my might.

O great was my joy, though no rest was around me,
Though mid wastes of the world were we twain all alone,
For methought that I conquered and he knelt and he crowned me,
And the driving rain ceased, and the wind ceased to moan,
And through clefts of the clouds her planet outshone.

O through clefts of the clouds 'gan the world to awaken,
And the bitter wind piped, and down drifted the rain,
And I was alone--and yet not forsaken,
For the grass was untrodden except by my pain:
With a Shadow of the Night had I wrestled in vain.

And the Shadow of the Night and not Love was departed;
I was sore, I was weary, yet Love lived to seek;
So I scaled the dark mountains, and wandered sad-hearted
Over wearier wastes, where e'en sunlight was bleak,
With no rest of the night for my soul waxen weak.

With no rest of the night; for I waked mid a story
Of a land wherein Love is the light and the lord,
Where my tale shall be heard, and my wounds gain a glory,
And my tears be a treasure to add to the hoard
Of pleasure laid up for his people's reward.

Ah, pleasure laid up! Haste then onward and listen,
For the wind of the waste has no music like this,
And not thus do the rocks of the wilderness glisten:
With the host of his faithful through sorrow and bliss
My Lord goeth forth now, and knows me for his.

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The Quest

I sought Him on the purple seas,
I sought Him on the peaks aflame;
Amid the gloom of giant trees
And canyons lone I called His name;
The wasted ways of earth I trod:
In vain! In vain! I found not God.

I sought Him in the hives of men,
The cities grand, the hamlets gray,
The temples old beyond my ken,
The tabernacles of to-day;
All life that is, from cloud to clod
I sought. . . . Alas! I found not God.

Then after roamings far and wide,
In streets and seas and deserts wild,
I came to stand at last beside
The death-bed of my little child.
Lo! as I bent beneath the rod
I raised my eyes . . . and there was God.

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