Late Lunch
We went to a local restaurant,
Where we thought it would be good to eat.
We were soon handed a menu
And taken through to our seat.
We ordered starters and drinks,
Along with our two mains.
The waitress wrote our order down,
Then trotted off again.
After quite a while had passed,
I thought that it was all taking a bit long.
I did start to wonder to myself,
If, maybe, something had gone wrong.
We called the waitress over,
And told her of our concern.
She, in turn, called the manager.
Of the delay, she wasn't happy to learn.
She apologised and went away,
To see what she could do.
She returned a few minutes later,
Saying that our order hadn't been put through.
She was mystified about what had happened.
She wondered how it could so be.
To say sorry for the hour's delay,
She gave us the entire meal for free!
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Creep Hymn
The creep
Goes to a restaurant
And order the food to eat at the restaurant
But when the food comes he eats a little bit of the food
Just so he can taste it
And he tells everybody very loud that the food that he order
Taste like shit
And then he takes the plate and throws it on the floor
But he lives the restaurant without pay
The waitress from the restaurant looks everywhere for him in the Restaurant
Sorry waitress he is gone out of the door
And he run away so that you couldn't catch him
poem by Aldo Kraas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Cattle Food
AN ELDERLY NATIVE WENT VISITING AT A CITY, AND ON HIS ARRIVAL, HIS HOST QUICKLY TOOK HIM TO AN EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT FOR A WELCOME MEAL!
WHAT WILL BE YOUR ORDER TODAY SIR? A WAITRESS ASKED THE CITIZEN AND HE REPLIED, MY USUAL WOULD BE IN ORDER! AND THE WAITRESS TURNED TO THE ELDERLY NATIVE AND SAID, SIR! WHAT WOULD BE YOUR ORDER? AND THE NATIVE REPLIED, MY USUAL WOULD BE IN ORDER!
THE WAITRESS ASSUMING THAT THEY BOTH WANTED THE CITIZEN'S USUAL PLATE OF VEGETABLE SALAD, WALKED OFF TO GET THE FOOD.
ON HER RETURN WITH THE FOOD, THE CITIZEN IMMEDIATTELY BEGAN TO EAT HIS FOOD, WHILE THE ELDERLY NATIVE SAT FROWNING AT THE PLATE OF SALAD PLACED BEFORE HIM, AFTER A WHILE, HE ASKED HIS HOST, DEAR FRIEND, WAS YOURS WELL COOKED? MINE LOOKS AS IF IT WASN'T EVEN COOKED AT ALL!
poem by Overlord Don Manuel Ihcakeyno
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Girls' Night Out
To our favourite pub in town, my friends and I, hurry.
For just over a fiver, we can order a drink and a curry.
From the bar, we grab our change and various drinks,
And there’s a loud chorus of ‘cheers! ’ as glasses clink.
At our table, we catch up on each others lives,
As a waitress brings each of us, forks and knives.
There’s a delicious aroma of food lingering in the air,
And my pangs of hunger, I almost can no longer bear.
We sit there chatting and laugh at each other’s jokes,
Whilst eyeing up some really dropp dead gorgeous blokes.
A waitress approaches, and puts our food on the table;
We’re starving and we all tuck in, as soon as we are able.
As we all get stuck in, our chatter is held, slightly, at bay,
Until the waitress returns, to clear our empty plates away.
I peruse the dessert menu and find myself unable to resist
Chocolate fudge cake, served with cream. Mmm! Pure bliss!
At the bar, I order my wickedly indulgent, calorie filled, treat,
And now feel happy and contented that my meal is complete.
I grab my purse as it’s my turn to buy another round of drinks.
Into the tall glasses, the ice cubes, dropp with a musical PLINK!
In high spirits, we decide to leave the warmth of the pub,
And head up town, to continue our night out, at a night club.
The DJ plays some fabulous Eighties retro dance tracks,
And the illuminated dance floor is almost constantly packed.
We’re soon on the dance floor, dancing the night away,
And, there, until the early hours of the morning, we stay.
By the time the club closes, we’re almost dead on our feet,
Having spent many a happy hour, dancing to the disco beat.
At the end of the night, we all head home to our beds.
We’re feeling happy, but very tired, it has to be said.
We tumble into our beds and very soon, we fall asleep,
And, from not a single one of us, is there another peep.
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
What Max Wanted
What do you want from me?
Max's wife said
and he looked by her
at the waitress
at the cafe
who was walking
with some order
behind his wife's back
and he noticed
the cute ass as she moved
the way she swayed
and the hands
holding the tray
huh? What is it
you want from me?
his wife repeated
her eyes peering at him
taking in
that aspect of him
as he turned his head
look said Max
following the waitress
to the table across the way
his eyes slowly
undressing her
his mind making up scenes
like in some movie
you say come on Honey
let's go out for a meal
and talk
and what are you doing
looking elsewhere
and not talking
his wife said
spittle on her lower lip
Max looked back
at his wife and said
oh yes sure
I was thinking
of the Picasso print
we saw the other day
you know that one
we both liked
and you said you'd like it
for your birthday
well maybe
I ought to get it
what do you think?
And the waitress
looked over at Max
as she went by
and he saw
a whole new ball game
in her eyes
and caught the cheek
and ear
and was sure
he captured some aspect
of her perfume
and his wife said
Picasso?
That Picasso?
are you sure Max?
and she went into a daze
and smiled
and Max imagined himself
and the waitress
and sex games
and a party
going wild.
poem by Terry Collett
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I'd gone into that restaurant and sat down and the waitress had taken my order and everybody else had seen me with this what must have looked like this creature, this animal, sitting on the top of my head!
quote by Derek Jacobi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I thought it was a gift.
They told me it was a gift;
they told me and I was so glad.
I put my heart and soul into it all,
cried tears and sweat so many beads of my own metallic crimson blood.
I gave it all; I thought it was a gift.
I worked longer than anyone I knew.
I worked harder.
I gave up so much more, I did so many things, all at the same time;
just so I could please them. I put their needs and wants over mine.
I gave it all; I thought it was a gift.
I thought that this was what they called fate,
I thought that this was what they called destiny.
I thought that I'd been given a gift for good.
I thought that gifts were supposed to bring joy, and happiness, and peace.
I gave it all, all because I thought it was a gift.
You never told me,
that one day I'd be sitting here,
questioning myself -
about how and why a God given gift, had suddenly turned
into a curse.
I Dont Even Know Your Name
(alan jackson, ron jackson, andy loffin)
Well I was sitting in a roadhouse down on highway 41
You were wiping off some ketchup on a table that was done
I knw you didnt see me, I was in a corner booth
Of course you werent my waitress mine was missing her front tooth
So I flagged you down for coffee
But I couldnt say a thing
But Im in love with you baby and I dont even know your name
Im in love with you baby, I dont even know your name
Ive never been to good at all these sexual games
So maybe its just better if we leave it this way
Im in love with you baby and I dont even know your name
So I ordered straight tequila, a little courage in a shot
I asked you for a date and then I asked to tie the knot
I got a little wasted, yeah I went a little far
But I finally got to hug you when you helped me to my car
The last thing I remember I heard myself say
Im in love with you baby, I dont even know your name
Im in love with you baby, I dont even know your name
Ive never been to good at all these sexual games
So maybe its just better if we leave it this way
Im in love with you baby and I dont even know your name
The next thing I remember, I was hearing wedding bells
Standing by a woman in a long white lacy veil
I raised the veil, she smiled at me without her left front tooth
And I said where the heel am I and just who the hell are you?
She said i was your waitress and our last names now the same
cause i;m married to you baby and I dont even know your name
Im married to a waitress, I dont even know her name
Ive never been to good at all these sexual games
I never thought my love life would quite turn out this way
Hey Im married to a waitress and I dont even know her name
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Pie In The Sky
It takes photon power
And eight minutes of an hour
To make it to our sun
And I know it sounds weird
But itll take you four years
To make the next one
Expanding border
Thats the sauce
Of chaos
And thats an order
Thats an order
So stomp your feet
And clap your hands
Get out of your seat
And do a little dance
Lift up your voice
And sing with glee
Now listen carefully to me
Desert your quarters
Behold the pie in the sky
And thats an order
Thats an order
Thats an order [7x]
song performed by by Frank Black
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I Hate Eating Alone In Public
I sat alone to eat at a restaurant today
For the first time in public today
I gotta say I hate eating alone
I used to ask total strangers to eat with me
And I would tell them that I would pay
So they would eat with me
This one guy must of thought I liked him
And that wasn't the case
I just wanted someone to eat with me
He gave me compliments
We had a great conversation
It was fun eating with him
Than I realized
He thought we were on a date
When he said
I never had a girl ask me out
But I didn't have the heart to tell him
I only asked him out to eat
Because I didn't want to eat alone in public
He asked for my number
So I gave him my number
But I never called him back
And if that had been a date
I would of called him back
But it wasn't a date
Now I'm sitting in a restaurant eating alone
And having all these people stare at me
And it make it worse they're all here with a date
And I'm eating here alone
Halley's Waitress
Halley's waitress
Never comes around
She's hiding in the kitchen
She's no where to be found
I just want some coffee
Is that too much to ask
Halley's waitress
Is not up to the task
And when she finally appears
It's like she's been away for years
It's been so long, so long
Darling, don't you know
We miss you when you're gone
So long, so long
Darling, don't you know
We miss you when you're gone
Halley's waitress
Has vanished once again
She's talking to her agent
She's calling all her friends
Forget about the coffee
I'll just take a check
Halley's waitress
You know you'll get yours yet
It's been so long, so long
Darling, don't you know
We miss you when you're gone
So long, so long
Darling, don't you know
We miss you when you're gone
song performed by by Fountains Of Wayne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Meeting Beauty
When Meeting Beauty
I read the menu at the restaurant looked up and saw
a pair of brown leg stretching up to heaven and thought
this waitress is from Senegal, as all beautiful women are
born there, a poor country which God compensated by
given the people physical exquisiteness.
In my old man’s confusion I ordered goat chops which
was quite apt for my unbecoming thoughts.
When she served the food I looked demurely down
but did see her white teasing smile and saw her walk away
moving like a schooner on the high seas.
No, I’m not an improper dirty old man and didn’t make any
leering remarks, but it was a moment when I wished to
be young and be able to admire beauty openly and my
admiration would have been met with a smile....and perhaps
a chance of a warm embrace.
poem by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I Thought I Told You That (feat. Faith Evans)
Theres a boy that Im into, hes so fly, so cute
I dreamt of, him every night, he had me, on cloud nine
Thought I could trust him, why?, he said to me when I needed him
He was there for me, then I found out he did the same
For every girl, with a pretty face
I just wanted to believe that
He was so innocent, so sweet
He did everything for me and
People told me all along, he was wrong
But I was so naive
Dont let him do to you what he did to me
Thought I told you that, he would break your heart
He was no good for you, from the start
Thought I told you that, he had another girl
Youre not the only woman in his world
Thought I told you that, he would make you cry
I dont see how you believe his lie
Thought I told you that, I hate to say that I told you so
Take it from me, you better leave him alone
He played me the whole time, thats why Im warning you
Im not the jealous type
cause Ive already been there done that
And nothing that he says will make me want him back
It does matter what he sends me
A dozen flowers or a diamond thats bling bling
Its all good but Im not the one to be staying home while hes having fun
I just wanted to believe that
He was so innocent, so sweet
He did everything for me and
People told me all along, he was wrong
But I was so naive
Dont let him do to you what he did to me
Thought I told you that, he would break your heart
He was no good for you, from the start
Thought I told you that, he had another girl
Youre not the only woman in his world
Thought i told you that, he would make you cry
I dont see how you believe his lie
Thought I told you that, I hate to say that I told you so
Take it from me, you better leave him alone
Girlfriend, Im just trying to make you see
That its not about you, its not about me
You cant let him get the best of you this way
You gotta love yourself and just walk away
Thought I told you that, he would break your heart
He was no good for you, from the start
Thought I told you that, he had another girl
Youre not the only woman in his world
Thought I told you that, he would make you cry
I dont see how you believe his lie
Thought I told you that, I hate to say that I told you so
Take it from me, you better leave him alone
Thought I told you that, he would break your heart
He was no good for you, from the start
Thought I told you that, he had another girl
Youre not the only woman in his world
Thought I told you that, he would make you cry
I dont see how you believe his lie
Thought I told you that, I hate to say that I told you so
Take it from me, you better leave him alone
song performed by by Anastacia
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Fast Food Plan
Drive up to a window. Buy yourself a meal.
Think before you order. Get the biggest deal.
Eat it while you're driving. Boy does this taste good.
Throw away the wrappers just the way you should.
Back again tomorrow. I'll take a number 2.
Now I've got the combo. This is something new.
Brought a coupon with me. Saved me quite a lot.
Looked into the mirror. My stomach's like a pot.
Lookin' at the menu. Try a healthy meal.
So much salad in it. This is no big deal.
Rather have some fries. The oil's better now.
So why do I feel queasy and bigger than a cow?
Maybe just a milkshake. Nothing else today.
Milk is always healthy. That is what they say.
Good thing it's the weekend.Have some time to cook.
Feeling better already. This is all it took?
Here's the Sunday paper. WOW! Now here's a deal.
Buy 2 get one free plus a Happy Meal.
Back to work tomorrow. Take these coupons too.
This is so much easier. 'Give me a number 2.'
poem by Edwina Reizer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Rebecca
Past loves you always remember
and Rebecca I’ve never forgot.
It was in May when we first met,
and the days were unusually hot.
We were both sixteen and innocent,
and love’s spark grew into a flame.
Desire and passion overwhelmed us,
and our deepest love was to blame.
Early evenings we spent together
and most of our weekend days.
We made love wherever we could,
and in so many different ways.
At eighteen she wanted to marry,
but I said we were too young.
She of course didn’t agree
and of course I was wrong.
We fell out and didn’t see each other
for maybe a week or more,
and then we both apologised,
and made love like never before.
Our relationship became a volcano
in every sense of the word.
One moment all was calm and beautiful,
and then, eruptions could be heard.
Following another reconciliation
we decided to go our separate ways.
This time there was no going back;
there were no more loving days.
She soon found another lover,
and got married without delay.
Nine months after our separation
a baby had come her way.
Because she made no contact
I assumed the baby wasn’t mine.
I never thought any more about it,
and my life was ticking over fine.
Two years later we met by accident
and I asked if the child was mine.
With a grin she changed the subject,
so the answer I couldn’t find.
After forty years had passed,
Rebecca knocked at my door,
and said the woman by her side
is the daughter I should adore.
“Well! After all this time, ” I said,
“how do I know it’s true? ”
“Just look at her, ” she said,
“she’s the spitting image of you.
I brought her here to see you
because she seemed to know
that her dad wasn’t her father,
and she repeatedly told me so.
She pleaded with me to tell the truth
and since my husband recently died.
I felt that I had to tell her about you,
and apologised for all the years I lied.
It would’ve broken my husband’s heart
if he had found out that I had lied,
and so I had to explain to my daughter
why I thought the lie was justified.”
“What a shock! I don’t know what to say,
or come to that, what to do.
I better begin by saying,
“Hello daughter, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
poem by Orlando Belo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Poet
Thought order
Not to be denied,
In bed
You turn aside,
Senses
Unsatisfied,
Order thought
for Danny Draper (Dabedra)
poem by Douglas Scotney
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Let This Go
[Verse 1]
Girl I don't understand, stand the reason why, why you act this way
What did I do, tell me what the problem is
I don't wanna see, wanna see you leave
Wanna let you go, I just wanna find a way to work it out
We've been through so much, good and bad times
Girl I did you wrong, you forgave me then we tried to start over
I apologised tried to make it right, so many times
Now I think its time to let this go
[Chorus x2]
And even though I love you and you've been with me for so long
And we thought that we could make it work but we were wrong
But neither one of us wanna be the first to say goodbye
Baby I think its time to let this go
[Verse 2]
Girl it's hard for me to tell you that it's over
I hate feeling this way
But I know you know things just haven't been the same
We always said that we, we would tell the truth
No matter what it is, can't continue to pretend our heart is in it
Im waiting for you to see, the reality
We at dead end, there no way to go unless we gonna to be just friends
I love you so much, never thought that I would ever have to say
That I think its time to let this go
[Chorus x2]
And even though I love you and you've been with me for so long
And we thought that we could make it work but we were wrong
But neither one of us wanna be the first to say goodbye
Baby I think its time to let this go
[Bridge]
Oh girl
What happened to the love
What happen to the girl
The girl I fell in love with
I never thought Id been the one to say goodbye
Im sick and tried of the arguing and I don't wanna do it again
Again, woo
[Chorus x2]
And even though I love you and you've been with me for so long
And we thought that we could make it work but we were wrong
But neither one of us wanna be the first to say goodbye
Baby I think its time to let this go
song performed by by 112
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Another Day
having the low down blues and going
into a restraunt to eat.
you sit at a table.
the waitress smiles at you.
she's dumpy. her ass is too big.
she radiates kindess and symphaty.
live with her 3 months and a man would no real agony.
o.k., you'll tip her 15 percent.
you order a turkey sandwich and a
beer.
the man at the table across from you
has watery blue eyes and
a head like an elephant.
at a table further down are 3 men
with very tiny heads
and long necks
like ostiches.
they talk loudly of land development.
why, you think, did I ever come
in here when I have the low-down
blues?
then the the waitress comes back eith the sandwich
and she asks you if there will be anything
else?
snd you tell her, no no, this will be
fine.
then somebody behind you laughs.
it's a cork laugh filled with sand and
broken glass.
you begin eating the sandwhich.
it's something.
it's a minor, difficult,
sensible action
like composing a popular song
to make a 14-year old
weep.
you order another beer.
jesus,look at that guy
his hands hang down almost to his knees and he's
whistling.
well, time to get out.
pivk up the bill.
tip.
go to the register.
pay.
pick up a toothpick.
go out the door.
your car is still there.
and there are 3 men with heads
and necks
like ostriches all getting into one
car.
they each have a toothpick and now
they are talking about women.
they drive away first
they drive away fast.
they're best i guess.
it's an unberably hot day.
there's a first-stage smog alert.
all the birds and plants are dead
or dying.
you start the engine.
Anonymous submission.
poem by Charles Bukowski
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Once we thought, journalists and readers alike, that if we put together enough ""facts"" and gave them a fast stir, we would come up with something that, at least by the standards of short-order cooks, could be called the truth.
quote by Melvin Maddocks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I have been a waitress, and I was a damn fine waitress too, let me tell you.
quote by Jessica Lange
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Customer Complaint
‘There is something wrong with this mushroom! '
I heard a lady, on a nearby table, suddenly boom.
The lady was clearly upset by the whole ‘ordeal',
And, asked the young waitress for a duplicate meal.
Soon, from the kitchen, her new meal appeared,
But, by its appearance, she was far from cheered.
‘I guess, an idiot, is what you take me for?
It's the very same mushroom, I had before! '
That it was a different mushroom, she was assured,
But she was not convinced, so this now meant war.
By this time, the lady was getting really quite irate:
‘That is the same mushroom, on a different plate! '
‘I tell you, this here mushroom is quite inferior!
I demand that I be allowed to see your Superior!
Your explanation, with me, girl, will just not wash.
You're no use: I want you to bring me your boss.'
The Manager appeared, and listened to her complaint:
Luckily, for him, he possessed the patience of a Saint!
He stood there calmly, while she ranted and raved:
A trouble-free shift was what he desperately craved.
She seemed to have time to eat her meal before,
But, suddenly, she didn't have that time anymore!
‘I want a refund! ' she said. ‘And make it snappy! '
She now seemed in a rush, and very far from happy.
Of the show, the lady was most definitely the star,
But I think that she carried things just a little too far!
Tempers flared, nerves frayed, and feelings ran high:
And this was all over one tiny little specimen of fungi!
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!