Customer Complaint
‘There is something wrong with this mushroom! '
I heard a lady, on a nearby table, suddenly boom.
The lady was clearly upset by the whole ‘ordeal',
And, asked the young waitress for a duplicate meal.
Soon, from the kitchen, her new meal appeared,
But, by its appearance, she was far from cheered.
‘I guess, an idiot, is what you take me for?
It's the very same mushroom, I had before! '
That it was a different mushroom, she was assured,
But she was not convinced, so this now meant war.
By this time, the lady was getting really quite irate:
‘That is the same mushroom, on a different plate! '
‘I tell you, this here mushroom is quite inferior!
I demand that I be allowed to see your Superior!
Your explanation, with me, girl, will just not wash.
You're no use: I want you to bring me your boss.'
The Manager appeared, and listened to her complaint:
Luckily, for him, he possessed the patience of a Saint!
He stood there calmly, while she ranted and raved:
A trouble-free shift was what he desperately craved.
She seemed to have time to eat her meal before,
But, suddenly, she didn't have that time anymore!
‘I want a refund! ' she said. ‘And make it snappy! '
She now seemed in a rush, and very far from happy.
Of the show, the lady was most definitely the star,
But I think that she carried things just a little too far!
Tempers flared, nerves frayed, and feelings ran high:
And this was all over one tiny little specimen of fungi!
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Mushroom Festival In Hell
We're ween, it's 1991!
And we are here to play you music
Now this song is called "mushroom festival in hell".
The wind is howling and the time is right for fear
In the emergence in the phosphorescent tears
And all the hippies gonna lick the mind of god?
They've already been immersed in the wad
The wind is howling and the sea is boiling down
The mind is the water, the mind is the water
'cause it's a mushroom festival in hell
'cause it's a mushroom festival in hell
Yeah!
song performed by by Ween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you wish to eat a mushroom, you cannot consider what the mushroom fed on.
Aimless Lady
Aimless lady, is this your home town?
Tell me baby, tell me where youre bound.
When our eyes met, you were in the very first row.
I couldnt even guess your name, but I just had to know.
You were meant for me, would you grab your coat and flee?
You were a mystery, but you just had to be ...
An aimless lady.
Aimless lady.
Aimless lady.
Should I try, and satisfy, you lady?
Aint no lie, now well get by, my baby.
If you can stand, a real good man, now lady,
Take my hand, and understand, me baby.
Take your time, youre doing fine, now lady.
You got yours, and I got mine, now baby.
Can you see, the way to be, now lady.
Stay with me, and set me free, now baby.
Aimless lady.
Aimless lady.
Aimless lady.
Youre mine aimless lady.
Yeah, aimless lady.
Youre mine aimless lady.
Mine, aimless lady.
Oooo ...
song performed by by Grand Funk Railroad
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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That Lady
Who's that lady (who's that lady)
Beautiful lady (who's that lady)
Lovely lady (who's that lady)
Real fine lady (who's that lady)
Hear me calling out to you
'Cause that's all that I can do
Your eyes tell me to pursue
But you say "Look yeah, but don't touch, baby"
Nah, nah, nah don't touch
Who's that lady (who's that lady)
Sexy lady (who's that lady)
Beautiful lady (who's that lady)
Real fine lady (who's that lady)
I would dance upon a string
Any gift she'd want I'd bring
I would give her anything
If she would just do what I say
Come 'round my way, baby
Shine my way
Who's that lady (who's that lady)
Beautiful lady (who's that lady)
Lovely lady (who's that lady)
Real real fine lady (who's that lady)
I would love to take her home
But her heart is made of stone
Gotta keep on keepin' on
If I don't she'll do me wrong
Do me wrong, yeah
(Instrumental)
song performed by by Isley Brothers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Who's That Lady
Who's that lady (who's that lady)
Beautiful lady (who's that lady)
Lovely lady (who's that lady)
Real fine lady (who's that lady)
Hear me callin' out to you
'Cause it's all that I can do
Your eyes tell me to pursue
But you say look yeah, but don't touch (but don't touch), baby
nah, nah, nah don't touch
Who's that lady (who's that lady)
Sexy lady (who's that lady)
Beautiful lady (who's that lady)
Real fine lady (who's that lady)
I would dance upon a string
Any gift she'd wanna bring
I would give her anything
If she would just do what I say (just do what I say)
Come 'round my way, baby
Shine my way
Who's that lady (who's that lady)
Beautiful lady (who's that lady)
Lovely lady (who's that lady)
Real fine lady (who's that lady)
I would love to take her home
But her heart is made of stone
I would keep on keepin' on
If I don't she'll do me wrong
Do me wrong, yeah
song performed by by Isley Brothers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hey Lucky Lady
Hey lucky lady lucky lady I was once the lucky lady
I was happy with my baby I was such a lucky lady
Hey lucky lady lucky lady you are now the lucky lady
Are you happy with my baby you know you're a lucky lady you lucky lady
Lucky lady that's what I was I was happy to have his love
All a woman could wish for he was that and so much more
He was mine and how I loved him before your hands ever touched him
Long before your temptin' eyes lured my baby from my life
Hey lucky lady lucky lady...
Is it love or is it pleasure do you know you've found a treasure
Are you only having fun do you know the prize you've won
If you don't want something lasting if it's just the time you're passing
Lucky lady give him up cause I do love him very much
Hey lucky lady lucky lady...
Hey lucky lady lucky lady...
song performed by by Dolly Parton, music by Dolly Parton (1975)
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mushrooms
I was with my girlfriend
This is [? ? ] florida
She took me to this place
It had al kind of things growing
She gave me something
It was a mushroom
She said eat it, she said.
A mushroom, what is that?
She said eat it.
I dont think she [? ? ]
Shes kind of a wild girl
I dont think she was that wild
So i, I ate the mushroom
And I said it doesnt taste like much
She said wait a minute
So I waited a minute
I waited a few minutes
- filter -
And the next thing I know, I was walking on clouds
There were beautiful clouds
And my girlfriend was talking to me
While I was walking on the clouds
And everything felt beautiful
I almost felt like I didnt have any feet,
No floor under me
It was beautiful
We looked in each other eyes.
On top of these clouds
And we were talking with each other
With our mouths wide open
And all of a sudden
She let me go
But I didnt fall,
I floated, but I was far away from her.
Until the next thing I know she wasnt there,
Knows by myself.
And I was on gras again
- begin of track 6 -
Very soft gras
I walked to the gras (4x)
song performed by by Faithless
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Lake Josephus Days
We left Little Redfish for Lake Josephus, traveling along the good names — from Stanley to Capehorn to Seafoam to the Rapid River, up Float Creek, past the Greyhound Mine and then to Lake Josephus, and a few days after that up the trail to Hell-diver Lake with the baby on my shoulders and a good limit of trout waiting in Hell-diver.
Knowing the trout would wait there like airplane tickets for us to come, we stopped at Mushroom Springs and had a drink of cold shadowy water and some photographs taken of the baby and me sitting together on a log.
I hope someday we'll have enough money to get those pictures developed. Sometimes I get curious about them, wondering if they will turn out all right. They are in suspension now like seeds in a package. I'll be older when they are developed and easier to please. Look there's the baby! Look there's Mushroom Springs! Look there's me!
I caught the limit of trout within an hour of reaching Hell-diver, and my woman, in all the excitement of good fishing, let the baby fall asleep directly in the sun and when the baby woke up, she puked and I carried her back down the trail.
My woman trailed silently behind, carrying the rods and the fish. The baby puked a couple more times, thimblefuls of gentle lavender vomit, but still it got on my clothes, and her face was hot and flushed.
We stopped at Mushroom Springs. I gave her a small drink of water, not too much, and rinsed the vomit taste out of her mouth. Then I wiped the puke off my clothes and for some strange reason suddenly it was a perfect time, there at Mushroom Springs, to wonder whatever happened to the Zoot suit.
Along with World War II and the Andrews Sisters, the Zoot suit had been very popular in the early 40s. I guess they were all just passing fads.
A sick baby on the trail down from Hell-diver, July 1961, is probably a more important question. It cannot be left to go on forever, a sick baby to take her place in the galaxy, among the comets, bound to pass close to the earth every 173 years.
She stopped puking after Mushroom Springs, and I carried her back down along the path in and out of the shadows and across other nameless springs, and by the time we got down to Lake Josephus, she was all right.
She was soon running around with a big cutthroat trout in her hands, carrying it like a harp on her way to a concert — ten minutes late with no bus in sight and no taxi either.
poem by Richard Brautigan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lady Day
When she walked on down the street
She was like a child staring at her feet
But when she passed the bar
And she heard the music play
She had to go in and sing
It had to be that way
She had to go in and sing
It had to be that way
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
After the applause had died down
And the people drifted away
She climbed down off the bar
And went out the door
To the hotel
That she called home
It had greenish walls
A bathroom in the hall
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
And I said no, no, no
Oh, lady day
...
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hallowed Ground
We must journey this land before we leave.
We must believe before we can be deceived.
We must seek a world of clarity.
Never have I set foot upon more a hallowed ground
Never have I sat within the earth, waiting below a mound
For the winter sun to kiss, to bless all that’s lost unfound.
Upon the Monks walk ancient seeds have been spread
Beyond the unravelling of time, drawn in dirt the circle
Bends less it be naught more than a line.
A blade of grass may reveal wisdom unto your soul
That until that point had remained unseen, sometimes
My thoughts thrown into the cauldron breed monsters
Far from clean. Delve inside the mushroom you found,
Upon such hallowed ground who knows what may happen.
The ocean breathes, once more caressing the earth with
The tides that break upon her shorelines. Our Lady breathes
Once more, as throughout every summer’s rain.
Mist engulfs the treetops of nearby woodland slopes,
High up in the valley forest dwellers weep.
Trying to keep all they know alive, striving as Our Lady sighs.
poem by David Lacey
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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How Beastly the Bourgeois Is
How beastly the bourgeois is
especially the male of the species--
Presentable, eminently presentable--
shall I make you a present of him?
Isn't he handsome? Isn't he healthy? Isn't he a fine specimen?
Doesn't he look the fresh clean Englishman, outside?
Isn't it God's own image? tramping his thirty miles a day
after partridges, or a little rubber ball?
wouldn't you like to be like that, well off, and quite the
thing
Oh, but wait!
Let him meet a new emotion, let him be faced with another
man's need,
let him come home to a bit of moral difficulty, let life
face him with a new demand on his understanding
and then watch him go soggy, like a wet meringue.
Watch him turn into a mess, either a fool or a bully.
Just watch the display of him, confronted with a new
demand on his intelligence,
a new life-demand.
How beastly the bourgeois is
especially the male of the species--
Nicely groomed, like a mushroom
standing there so sleek and erect and eyeable--
and like a fungus, living on the remains of a bygone life
sucking his life out of the dead leaves of greater life
than his own.
And even so, he's stale, he's been there too long.
Touch him, and you'll find he's all gone inside
just like an old mushroom, all wormy inside, and hollow
under a smooth skin and an upright appearance.
Full of seething, wormy, hollow feelings
rather nasty--
How beastly the bourgeois is!
Standing in their thousands, these appearances, in damp
England
what a pity they can't all be kicked over
like sickening toadstools, and left to melt back, swiftly
into the soil of England.
poem by David Herbert Lawrence
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You'll Accompany Me
Words and music by bob seger
A gypsy wind is blowing warm tonight
The sky is starlit and the time is right
And still you're tellin' me you have to go
Before you leave there's something you should know
Yeah something you should know babe
I've seen you smiling in the summer sun
I've seen your long hair flying when you run
I've rnade my mind up that it's meant to be
Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Out where the rivers meet the sounding sea
You're high above me now, you're wild and free ah but
Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Some people say that love's a losin' game
You start with fire but you lose the flame
The ashes smolder but the warmth's soon gone
You end up cold and lonely on your own
I'll take my chances babe i'ii risk it all
I'll win your love or i'ii take the fall
I've made my mind up girl it's meant to be
Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
It's written down some where, it's got to be
You're high above me flyin' wild and free
Oh but someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Out where the rivers meet the sounding sea
I feel it in my soul, it's meant to be
Oh someday lady you'll accomp'ny me
Somedaylady you'll accomp'ny me
song performed by by Bob Seger
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Life Mission
A Mushroom
has no room
for thoughts
it has got
only moments to sort
no hours for thought
just split secon to rot
in the ageless life
when eternity speaks of strife
butterfly spents but a day
mushroom some watery way
some men are mushrooms
they have messages groomed
but live in hived rooms
in silence they come
and unwreathed they go
some like butterfly
flash across many hearts
with colours vibrant and spots
it flew into my garden
smelling with blossooms of Spring
and fluttered into my passions
caressing here, caressing there
the poets say............................
poem by Lalitha Iyer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Job Interview
Boss lady: Tommy you got Id? ,
Tommyizzle: Hold on let me check,
Boss lady: Now I know you new,
Tommyizzle: What you mean new?
Boss lady: New at job hunting,
Tommyizzle: Now hold up (Never New) !
Boss lady: Tell you what,
Tommyizzle: What?
Boss lady: Will let you have a job,
Tommyizzle: How?
Boss lady: if you fill this out,
Tommyizzle: ok but that's ten dollars,
Boss lady: Ain't I paying you? ,
Tommyizzle: Yeah but you know,
Boss lady: I'm not your woman (But a Boss lady)
Tommyizzle: Ok
poem by Tommy Laster
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Little Lady Love
Oh yeah x 5
Chorus
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
Chorus
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
We maybe young
But only for a while
I may look brave
But boy thats just my style
Taken from my teens
But feeding from the tears
Falling with the love
Ive holding back the years
Chorus
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
The miracle of love
Is something Ive observed
And speaking for myself
Is something Ill preserve
Until I feel my way
Along the sticky road
Ill save the miracle
Im gonna take it slow
Chorus
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
Lady love, lady love
Lady love, lady love
Lady love, lady love
Lady love, lady love, love
I think Ive been seperate
Makes it so desperate
I think Ill moderate
Better to wait, its favourite
Chorus
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
Lady love, lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
Chorus
Im little lady love
Ive been touched from above
And you just cant get enough
Of little lady love
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah x2
song performed by by Sugababes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She's My Baby
Well I'm so blue
I'm thinking about you
I'm feeling so blue
I'm feeling so sad
I just don't understand
I'm feeling so sad
And in the midnight
I don t turn off the light
Until the daylight
Well I toss and I turn
And my heart it still burns
'Til I see her again
She's my lady, she's my baby, she's my lady
She's my baby, she's my lady, she's my haby
She's my lady, now, now, now, now
In the morning I wake
To go get food on my plate
But I just can't eat
And when I go in the cafe
To sit down at my seat
I don't have egg on my face
When it stops and it starts
It just tears me apart
Like a pain in my heart
But it's been misunderstood
Somebody's breaking the rules
And I'm nobody's fool
Well, well, well
She's my lady, she's my baby, she's my lady
She's my baby, she's my lady, she's my baby
She's my lady, now, now, now, now
When it's so high
I can reach for the sky
But when it's so low
I got nowhere to go
When it goes wrong
I just don't belong
When it goes right
It's clean out of sight
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm feeling so glad
I'm on top of the world
When I see you again
Well it's so true
I been thinking about you
Baby you're my flame
When it goes down
Down on the ground
When it goes down
But when it goes up
It just fills up my cup
When it goes up
Well, well, well
She's my lady, she's my baby, she's my lady
She's my baby, she's my lady, she's my baby
She's my lady, now, now, now, now
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sophisticated Lady (She's A Different Lady)
Written by Chuck Jackson, Marvin Yancy and Natalie Cole
Sophisticated lady, sophisticated lady
She's a different lady with a different style
She stands tall and steady like the Eiffel Tower
She is hip to politics but loves her jazz
She's got lots of rhythm she's got lots of class
Everybody knows how she got her name, yeah
Oh, ha, she wears knee length dresses with her high heel steppers
She's not no back stabber but she's sure a pleaser
She talks quiet and gentle, she acts very cool
She sticks close to her lover, she obey God's rules, woh
(Sophisticated lady) Sophisticated lady, yeah
(Sophisticated lady) Oh
(Sophisticated lady) That's her name, that's her name
(Sophisticated lady) Woh, woh
Everybody knows how she got her name
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah----
Woh--, oh, oh, oh, oh
She's the kind of person that you'd like to meet
'Cause she's always smiling and she's always neat
She can start a fire in the coldest man
She's a hip slick sister known throughout the land, oh
(Sophisticated lady) That's her name
Sophisticated lady (sophisticated lady) yeah
Oh, well, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, hoo, that's her name
Sophisticated lady (sophisticated lady) lady, lady
Sophisticated lady (sophisticated lady) oh
Sophisticated lady, (sophisticated lady) ah
Sophisticated lady (sophisticated lady)
Ooh, ooh (sophisticated lady)
Repeat (Sophisticated lady
song performed by by Natalie Cole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lady Run, Lady Hide
(myles goodwyn/jim clench)
Published by summerlea music, ltd. - bmi
Lovely lady, silent lady
Will tomorrow be the last day in your life
I cant free you, only plea you
On the last days of your life
Lady run, lady hide
Lady run, lady hide
Lonely lady, lovely lady
Do you know, do you know youve lost the fight
Cause well use you, and abuse you
On the last days of your life
Our tomorrow is now today
And our last chance to find a way
Youd think wed learn, youd think wed try
When tomorrow we all could die
Lady run, lady hide
Lady run, lady hide
Lady run, lady hide
Lady run, lady hide, lady hide
song performed by by April Wine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Why Lady Why
Words and music by teddy gentry and richard scott
Why, lady, why, cant I leave you alone?
I try, lady, try, but the feelings too strong.
You stay on my mind. feel just like a fool.
Why, lady, why, cant I get over you?
Why, lady, why? it was easy before.
I try, lady, try, but it aint easy no more.
To be on my way would be the best thing to do.
Why, lady, why, cant I get over you?
Why, lady, why, cant I leave you alone?
I try, lady, try, but the feelings too strong.
To be on my way would be the best thing to do.
Why, lady, why, cant I get over you?
song performed by by Alabama
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Walks Like A Lady
Walks like a lady,
With her tender charms.
She moves like a lady
When Im in her arms.
She loves like a lady,
Lovin all night long.
She cries like a baby
When shes done something wrong.
I told you once, yes, I told you twice
But you never listen to my advice
I catch you walkin with that boy again
Im gonna set you free.
Oh, Im gonna set you free.
Loves like a lady,
So soft and slow.
She feels like a lady,
Ooo, I cant let go.
She smiles like a lady,
Smilin all night long,
But cries lake a baby
When shes done something wrong.
(chorus)
Walks like a lady
Oh, but she cries like a little girl
Walks like a lady
Yes, but she cries like a little girl
Walks like a lady,
Walks like a lady
Cries like a little girl
song performed by by Journey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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