12 Steps of Bad Poets Anonymous
1. I recognize that I’ve written more trash than anything worthwhile,
And I’m therefore committed to change my ludicrous lifestyle.
2. I give my life up to the Bottle to grant me genius that I miss
And beg forgiveness of bad poets whose asses that I used to kiss.
3. For I’m powerless without it - the mighty strength of Alcohol -
That gives me boundless inspiration, while sitting in a toilet stall.
4. No matter how great the effort, I cannot write a goddamned thing
Without my daily meditation with an alcoholic drink.
5. I drink and I become awakened to all the beauty that’s within
Those sparkling ice cubes in my cognac, my vodka, whiskey, rum and gin.
6. I seek a moral higher ground within my realm of Alcohol,
That grants me peace and inner virtues, that I revere and extol.
7. Let’s drink away our shortcomings until our heads begin to spin,
Until we all become connected to our geniuses within.
8. Let our words become true hammers to dropp upon the sleeping minds,
To guide them from their lives of error, from pastures ignorant and blind.
9. Each day I make another toast to the Holy Ghost of Alcohol
And pray that it may give me guidance and peace to my tormented soul.
10. I’m no Byron, no Shakespeare, no Baudelaire, nor Rimbaud,
But every drink makes me immortal and fills me with supernal awe.
11. It’s when my Atman becomes Brahman, my inner I, the God within,
And I begin to feel that oneness with the Eternal Everything.
12. With every glass of wine and brandy, with every alcoholic drink
I change into the Master Poet, like Rumi on an angel’s wing.
August 16,2010
poem by Alexander Shaumyan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Have A Drink On Me
Whiskey, gin and brandy
With a glass Im pretty handy
Im trying to walk a straight line
On sour mash and cheap wine
So join me for a drink boys
Were gonna make a big noise
So dont worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the cheque
Well get hell to pay
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Yeah
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
On me
Come on
Dizzy, drunk and fightin
On tequila white lightnin
My glass is getting shorter
On whiskey, ice and water
So come on and have a good time
And get blinded out of your mind
So dont worry about tomorrow
Take it today
Forget about the cheque
Well get hell to pay
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
On me
Get stoned
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Yeah
Have a drink on me
Come on
Oooh
Gonna roll around
Gonna hit the ground
Take another swing
Have another drink
Gonna drink it dry
Gonna get me high
Come on all the boys
Make a noise
Chorus
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink on me
Have a drink oooooooon me
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Older Than You
We are younger in years! Yes, that is true;
But in some things we are older than you.
For instance, you sometimes say with a smile,
'It will do to drink wine once in a while.'
We say, 'It will not do at all!'
Wine is an imp of old Alcohol.
So are gin and beer, and cider, too.
If you drink up them, they will eat up you.
'Cider is not a strong drink,' you say.
Ah! but, my friend, it opens the way
For brandy and whiskey to follow fast.
It has done it many a time in the past.
It tempts and teases the appetite.
Let it alone, boys, keep to the right;
Onward and upward we mean to go.
Heaven is reached that way, you know.
People who drink are behind the time.
They are back with darkness, and woe, and crime.
This age is progressive. You people who drink,
Though ever so little, just pause and think-
Think of the anguish that liquor makes;
Think of the hearts that it burdens and breaks.
Let it alone: stop drinking to-day-
This is what we, the children, say.
poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Drink Poetry, Oh Ye of Small Faith
Drink poetry, oh ye of small faith:
Drink poetry from a bottle
Drink poetry from a book
Drink poetry from a fountain
Take another look.
Drink for sanctuary
Drink for inspiration
Drink for endurance
But never hesitation.
A toast to poetry
And a toast to time
A toast to us:
Live forever in rhyme.
poem by Patti Masterman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Drink It In
How many days are left
And what to spend them on
Should I keep working
Or sit and marvel at the sky
I think about your skin
Your fragile skin
The heaven of life we're living in
Drink it in, drink it in deeper
I pray a life your soul to keep
Drink it in, drink it in
Pink clouds scatter
My heart beats clear
For all the hearts that I hold dear all
Drink it in, drink it in deeper
I pray a life your soul to keep
Drink it in, drink it in deeper
I pray a life your soul to keep
Drink it in, drink it in
Drink it in, drink it in
song performed by by Heather Nova
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Picassos Last Words
The grand old painter died last night
His paintings on the wall
Before he went he bade us well
And said goodnight to us all.
Drink to me, drink to my health
You know I cant drink any more
Drink to me, drink to my health
You know I cant drink any more
3 oclock in the morning
Im getting ready for bed
It came without a warning
But Ill be waiting for you baby
Ill be waiting for you there
So drink to me drink to my health
You know I cant drink any more
Drink to me drink to my health
You know I cant drink any more
French interlude
Temp change
Jet... drink to me
Drunken chorus
French (tempo) drink to me... ho hey ho
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Th Drink That You Hand Me
the drink that you hand to me
shall take my mouth
watering to your
lips,
the drink that you give me
shall take all of me
to you
the drink shall take another drink
and another drink
from you
and i shall not be quenched
until i am drunk
of all of you
and then you take me
all of me
and then i shall be lost
all of me
lovingly to you
my body dissolving like ice cubes
to your glass
your spirit in mine
our bodies mixing as one
and then we both shall be drunk
so gently
so lovingly as though this glass
owns the night
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I don't even drink! I can't stand the taste of alcohol. Every New Year's Eve I try one drink and every time it makes me feel sick. So I don't touch booze - I'm always the designated driver.
quote by Kim Kardashian
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Picasso's Last Words (Drink To Me)
The Grand Old Painter Died Last Night
His Paintings On The Wall
Before He Went He Bade Us Well
And Said Goodnight To Us All.
Drink To Me, Drink To My Health
You Know I Can't Drink Any More
Drink To Me, Drink To My Health
You Know I Can't Drink Any More
3 O'clock In The Morning
I'm Getting Ready For Bed
It Came Without A Warning
But I'll Be Waiting For You Baby
I'll Be Waiting For You There
So Drink To Me Drink To My Health
You Know I Can't Drink Any More
Drink To Me Drink To My Health
You Know I Can't Drink Any More
Jet... Drink To Me
Drink To Me... Ho Hey Ho
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Epiphanias
THE three holy kings with their star's bright ray,--
They eat and they drink, but had rather not pay;
They like to eat and drink away,
They eat and drink, but had rather not pay.
The three holy kings have all come here,
In number not four, but three they appear;
And if a fourth join'd the other three,
Increased by one their number would be.
The first am I,--the fair and the white,
I ought to be seen when the sun shines bright!
But, alas! with all my spices and myrrh,
No girl now likes me,--I please not her.
The next am I,--the brown and the long,
Known well to women, known well to song.
Instead of spices, 'tis gold I bear,
And so I'm welcome everywhere.
The last am I,--the black and small,
And fain would be right merry withal.
I like to eat and to drink full measure,
I eat and drink, and give thanks with pleasure.
The three holy kings are friendly and mild,
They seek the Mother, and seek the Child;
The pious Joseph is sitting by,
The ox and the ass on their litter lie.
We're bringing gold, we're bringing myrrh,
The women incense always prefer;
And if we have wine of a worthy growth,
We three to drink like six are not loth.
As here we see fair lads and lasses,
But not a sign of oxen or asses,
We know that we have gone astray
And so go further on our way.
poem by Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
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Drink!
Ill take back my pinata its wasted on you
Just spinning that pool cue all over the room
And give back the blindfold thats under your shoe
Lets drink, drink this town is so great
Drink, drink cuz its never too late
To drink, drink to no big surprise
But what words rhyme with buried alive
What words rhyme with buried alive
You could be a float for the 4th of july
Based on your theme of wallflowers grown wild
Look thru your peephole, youve won every prize
Lets drink, drink this town is so great
Drink, drink cuz its never too late
To drink, drink to no big surprise
But what words rhyme with buried alive
What words rhyme with buried alive
In your monkey suit on a cigarette break
The lunchtime crowd, they wont even blink
But youd be sad if they did
But youll be sad...
Lets drink, drink this town is so great
Drink, drink cuz its never too late
To drink, drink to no big surprise
But what words rhyme with buried alive
What words rhyme with buried alive
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Alcohol
Here is a story about a sinner,
He used to be a winner who enjoyed a life of prominence and position,
But the pressures at the office and his socialite engagements,
And his selfish wifes fanatical ambition,
It turned him to the booze,
And he got mixed up with a floosie
And she led him to a life of indecision.
The floosie made him spend his dole
She left him lying on skid row
A drunken lag in some salvation army mission.
Its such a shame.
Oh demon alcohol,
Sad memories I cannot recall,
Who thought I would say,
Damn it all and blow it all,
Oh demon alcohol,
Memories I cannot recall,
Who thought I would fall a slave to demon alcohol.
Barley wine pink gin,
Hell drink anything,
Port, pernod or tequila,
Rum, scotch, vodka on the rocks,
As long as all his troubles disappeared.
But he messed up his life and he beat up his wife,
And the floosies gone and found another sucker
Shes gonna turn him on to drink
Shes gonna lead him to the brink
And when his moneys gone,
Shell leave him in the gutter,
Its such a shame.
Oh demon alcohol,
Sad memories I cannot recall,
Who thought I would fall,
A slave to demon alcohol.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Demon Alcohol
Im sick and tired of your excuses
Cant deal with living anymore
Ill give you reasons to continue
While you lie writing on the floor
Ill wash away your lies
And have you hypnotized
Therell be no compromise today
Ill share your life of shame
I think you know my name
Ill introduce myself today
Im the demon alcohol
Demon alcohol
Ill get you
If you could deal with your reflection
Im sure youd see into my eyes
Therell be no need for resurrection
Lets drink to people of the lies
Although that ones too much
You know tens not enough
Therell be no compromise today
Ill watch you lose control
Consume your very soul
Ill introduce myself today
Im the demon alcohol
Demon alcohol
Ha ha
Demon alcohol
Demon alcohol, lets party
(demon alcohol)
(Im the demon alcohol)
Im sick and tired of resolutions
Youve quit me time and time again
Dont speak of suicide solutions
You took my hand, Im here to stay
This time its you or me
Ill never set you free
Therell be no compromise today
So satisfy your lust
Too much cant be enough
Ill introduce myself today
Im the demon alcohol
The demon alcohol
Aha
Demon alcohol
Demon alcohol
Lets party
song performed by by Ozzy Osbourne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hooked On You
I had my lager and lime
And you had your vodka,
We were partners in crime!
Later the lager wasn't enough
And I got hooked on the stronger stuff.
I thought I was clever,
You thought I was tough,
Luckily nobody called my bluff!
Mutual admiration joined us like glue,
You were hooked on the vodka,
I was hooked on you,
You were my Bonnie, I tried to be Clyde,
Both of us flirted with suicide,
We liked to talk and we liked to think,
Our genius was confirmed by drink!
But the years went by and, bit by bit,
We drifted apart. I felt like sh*t!
The party was over. I was alone
And you hardly ever answered the phone.
I tried to hold on to the slippery past
But the illusion of love was vanishing fast,
And now the drink was taking its toll,
It had ruined my body and dulled my soul.
I tried all the methods of finding a cure,
But none of them worked - I was dead for sure!
Now I look back and I miss those days
We spent in a carefree alcoholic haze;
Can I face up to the ultimate truth?
The laughter has gone and we've lost our youth,
But let me toast you just one more time,
My angel of love and partner in crime!
Just one more drink before the night,
Just one more fix to set the stars alight!
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Duty Free Spirit
mostly here are for mine eyes only, so here's the story
* diet cola version
Dear Jack Daniel, the man o war
When my tears
change into wine.............
a blend of joy
I drink for the lifetime............
Yours truly,
Uncle Johnny Walker (panting)
*russian (standard) vodka version
To Fisher, the king of nothing
When Bacardi (my rival-friend rum)
change into a Rossi wine...........
or a just malt 18 yrs whiskey
we both cheers for the lifetime......
Savoury yours,
Captain Morgan (burping)
great minds drink alike
SAME SAME
Weird minds
think alike
poem by Rommelmarkmarchan Best Poems
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Don't Drink
Don't drink, boys, don't!
There is nothing of happiness, pleasure, or cheer,
In brandy, in whiskey, in rum, ale, or beer.
If they cheer you when drunk, you are certain to pay
In headaches and crossness the following day.
Don't drink, boys, don't!
Boys, let it alone!
Turn your back on your deadliest enemy-Drink!
An assassin disguised; nor for one moment think,
As some rashly say, that
true
women admire
The man who can boast that he's playing with fire.
Boys, let it alone!
No, boys, don't drink!
If the habit's begun, stop now! stop to-day!
Ere the spirit of thirst leads you on and away
Into vice, shame, and drunkenness. This is the goal,
Where the spirit of thirst leads the slave of the bowl.
No, boys,
don't
drink!
Boys, touch not, nor taste!
Don't think you can stop at the social 'First Glass.'
Too many have boasted that power, alas!
And found they were slaves to this seeming good friend,
And have grown into drunkards and knaves, in the end.
Boys, touch not, nor taste!
Don't drink, boys,
Don't
!
If the loafers and idlers scoff, never heed:
True men and true women will wish you 'God-speed.'
There is nothing of purity, pleasure, or cheer
To be gotten from whiskey, wine, brandy, or beer.
Don't drink, boys,
Don't
!
poem by Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Well Water
How can one have words…
Over that which does not…
Belong to them…
A boy friend or boo…
Is just that…
A free emotion running wild…
Who stops at a well to drink…
A well which is used by some…
If not many…
As the water is given to drink…
He is free to drink it…
Which does not mean…
It is your well he shall always drink…
For any well which offers water…
He will drink…
So how can you tell him…
The well he should drink from…
Water is water when you hunger…
For thrust…
Remember water is free…
And so are the wells…
Now what can you do …
To change that…
Make sure only certain…
Drinkers, drink from your well…
And you still cannot tell…
Whisperkwane
[email protected]
poem by whisperkwane Lamb
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Twilight Alehouse
1971. released as b-side of I know what I like single, 1974.
Is it really true what theyre saying
Are you really sure theres nobody come for me
When Im walking home there is no-one
Once there was a house, full of laughter - so warm
Trying to pretend there is someone
Someone who will care when I need it
I will now receive my comfort, conjured by the magic power of wine
Just a drink, Ill get that drink, and Im feeling good
Just a drink, Ill get that drink, and Im feeling fine
Just a drink to take my sorrow
Just a drink and you can blast tomorrow
Just a drink to make me feel like a man again
Now Im down
When I walk outside, there is nowhere
Children follow me, with their laughter - so cold...
Casting just a glance at the churchyard
Casting just a glance, at my painted female friend.
Now Im on my way, I am falling
Got to find some elp, ooh I will need that now
So I will receive my comfort, conjured by the magic power of wine
Just a drink, Ill get that drink, and Im feeling good
Just a drink, Ill get that drink, and Im feeling fine
Just a drink to take my sorrow
Just a drink and you can blast tomorrow
Just a drink to make me feel like a man again
Now Im down...
I will now receive my comfort, conjured by the magic power of wine
Just a drink, Ill get that drink, and Im feeling good
Just a drink, Ill get that drink, and Im feeling fine
Just a drink to take my sorrow
Just a drink and you can blast tomorrow, now...
song performed by by Genesis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Alcoholic Blues
You're an alcoholic but not a smoker -
What else is there to say?
Your poetry is mediocre -
It's been another lousy day.
You used to think
If you had a drink
Your blues would go away -
But now you know that isn't true
So you haven't had a drink today.
Well done, old boy!
But there's no joy,
So what are you going to do?
You're dead inside, and lonely too
And bored and in despair.
Your fellow alcoholics care -
They say, 'If you choose
To turn again to booze
You've a hell of a lot to lose! '
You'd lose your peace of mind, I guess.
The answer's 'Yes,
But wouldn't it be nice
To ignore this sound advice,
To relax, chill out, and have a little happiness?
Or at least to write a decent verse,
Something pungent, moving, terse,
Transcending this alcoholic's curse! ! ! '
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
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The Alcoholic Albatross
Brothers, what are we to think
When we muse upon strong drink?
Is it bad or is it good?
Is it poison or is it food?
Albatrosses, so say some,
Find great benefit in rum,
And, in gratitude for nips,
Bring fair winds to troubled ships.
Others say the cocktail shaker
Is a noted trouble maker;
And declare that men stir up
Woe in every claret-cup.
But, so far as I'm concerned,
I may say I've never learned
Whether alcohol, in place,
Benefits the human race.
Take your choice. If you should think
Drink is good, why, have a drink;
But, if you are at a loss,
Give it to some albatross.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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60% Proof
alcoholic drinks
are measured by their
percent proof,
For example,
a 'six proof' beer
would have 3% alcohol,
barely any,
while a strong liqueur
that advertised it was 80 proof
would have
40% alcohol.
It isn't, however, quite that simple...
there are other
complications, but that
is not my point
here,
what about poetry?
what kind of
proof is this
poetry that makes
you drunk?
or do you want
something to make
you sober?
you get high?
you want to?
ah, try putting
alcohol in your
words,
give it the
kind of proof
needed,
then say, ahh,
this is real poetry
this certain relief
from the harsh
realities of our lives,
this ahhh,
ahhhh, ahhhh
oh God!
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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