What if Jesus had known kung fu?
Christopher Moore in Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff (2002)
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Panaghoy
Aanhin ko
ang lahat ng yaman sa mundo
kung dito ay wala
ni isa mang kasalo.
Aanhin ko
ang pinakamataas na karangalan
kung dito ay walang
mapag-aalayan.
Aanhin ko
ang makapiling ka
kung ang isinisigaw ng iyong puso
ay hindi ako.
Aanhin ko
ang aking magandang tinig
kung wala ditong
makikinig.
Aanhin ko
ang aking mga tula
kung wala ditong
tutula.
Aanhin ko
ang mabuhay
kung aking saysay
ay maitutulad sa hanging
walang nakakakita.
Oh, poon ng mga poon
bakit pa ako'y nilalang
kung ika'y walang gagawin
kundi ako'y pagtaghuyin.
poem by Marites C. Cayetano
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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White Republican Male Jesus?
White Republican Male Jesus?
what about...
black Jesus, brown Jesus,
Asian Jesus, atheist Jesus,
female Jesus, poor Jesus,
jobless Jesus, prison Jesus,
homeless Jesus, illegal immigrant Jesus?
dog Jesus, cat Jesus,
baby in a dumpster Jesus,
addict Jesus, old Jesus?
gay Jesus, union Jesus,
hungry Jesus, foreign Jesus?
bumming a cup of coffee Jesus?
brother Jesus, sister Jesus?
just bombed Jesus,
food stamp Jesus?
how many bodies? how many crosses?
you tell me!
poem by Eric Cockrell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Kung
What you are now experiencing is
the Vibration of Life ladies and gentlemen
Your head may be feeling heavy
Seven beats per second
Your nose light
This will re-energize you
Your eyes heavyYour nose light
Your eyes heavy
Kung...
Kung...
Kung...
Your eyes may be feeling heavy
Your nose lightYour eyes heavy
Kung...
Kung...
Kung...
Rich in minerals
Rich in firth Carry well ye martin lad
Fervent fourth
Now Fervent fifth
Forever arealm we cry
Be it ever so Voraciously alternate
We call upon your pulse
Can we stand?
Can we stare?
We can stage a runaway golfcart marathon!
Stand up
Stand up
Stand up on your heels and call
From the hills
From the hills
This may have made your eyes feel heavyY
our nose light
Your eyes heavy
song performed by by Phish
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kaibigan
(jaypee garcia)
Hello kaibigan, kamusta ka na
Kay saya-saya muli kitang nakamusta
Mabuting kalagayan hangad ko sa yo
Kung akoy tanungin mabuti naman ako
Bridge 1:
Di pa rin nagbabago pagtingin sa yo
Di pagpapalit akoy hiyang dito
Hello kaibigan, kamusta ka na
Ibang-iba nga kung kilala mo na
Di ba mas natural, mas maganda
Kung hiyang talaga
(instrumental)
Bridge 2:
Ang nakasanayan mahirap ipagpalit
Magandang karanasan mahirap mawala
Hello kaibigan, kamusta ka na
Ibang-iba nga kung kilala mo na
Di ba mas natural, mas maganda
Kung hiyang talaga
song performed by by Lea Salonga
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Salvation
how many Jesus's does it take?
rock n roll Jesus, civil rights Jesus,
sexual Jesus, Baptist Jesus,
Pentecostal snake Jesus...
heroin Jesus, small town family Jesus,
necklace Jesus, tattoo Jesus,
illegal immigrant Jesus...
Jesus on the cross in a drunk tank Jesus,
Marlboro Jesus, county fair Jesus,
pray for Armagadden Jesus...
or just a man,
living one day, one moment,
one bare naked dirty human need
at a time...
with open hands, open heart,
and open mind!
poem by Eric Cockrell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Believe In Jesus
Ran into mother mary down on line
Street in l.a.
She was preaching the gospel
She was singing how jesus saves
When a crowd of passing tourists
Looked to see what they could see
You know before they know it she had
Them all down on their knees
I believe in jesus you know I know him
Oh so well
And Im going to heaven by and by
cause I already been through hell
I believe in jesus, in jesus, in jesus
I believe in jesus, in jesus
So onward christian soldiers still
Marching as to war
With the cross of jesus just going on before
Now jesus was a little lamb, his fleece
Was white as snow
And every where that jesus went
This lamb is sure to go
Well I believe in jesus you know I know him
Oh so well
And Im going to heaven by and by
cause I saved my soul from going to hell
I believe in jesus, in jesus, in jesus
I believe in jesus, in jesus
Look at the sheep cause theyre
Running fast
They wanna make it through the gates
At last
So onward christian soldiers still
Marching as to war
With the cross of jesus just going on before
I believe in jesus, in jesus
I believe in jesus, in jesus.....
song performed by by Donna Summer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sonnet: The Name of Jesus…
The name of Jesus gives us grace anew;
The name of Jesus cures minds of evils;
The name of Jesus portrays divine view;
The name of Jesus drives away devils.
The name of Jesus works great miracles;
The name of Jesus brings solace to all;
The name of Jesus flashes parables;
The name of Jesus makes a clarion call!
The name of Jesus wards off dangers great;
The name of Jesus acts like holy knives!
The name of Jesus changes sad a fate;
The name of Jesus saves all sinners’ lives.
The name of Jesus will convert a soul;
The name of Jesus leads souls to God’s goal!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 7-5-2006
poem by John Celes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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O Jesus
O Jesus, peace be upon him, the one who was the Word of God…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, who came and was always in the Thoughts of God…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, he who was born of the Virgin Mary…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, and peace be upon his mother Mary…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, the one who the Holy Spirit of God was given…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, the one who in the name of God, casted out demons…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, the one they said slanderous things about…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, the one they tried to blot out…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, who came and was sinless…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, who came to the temple and became relentless…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, who came to the Israelites to teach them the Gospel…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, who came and did things that were impossible…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, he who is the Prophet and Christ…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, he who the Scriptures prophesised…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, he who Almighty God raised up…
O Jesus, peace be upon him, he who Almighty God will send back and amaze us.
poem by Russel Choudhury
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Reflection (Mulan)
Mayroong akong nais malaman
Maaari bang magtaong?
Alam mo bang matagal na kitang iniibig?
Matagal na 'kong nahihintay
***Ngunit mayroong ka nang ibang minamahal
Kung kaya't akoy 'di mo pinapansin
Kung sakaling iwanan ka niya
Huwag kang magalala
May nagmamahal sa iyo
Nandito ako
Nandito ako umiibig sa iyo
Kahit na nagdurugo and puso
Kung sakaling iwanan ka niya
Huwag kang magalala
May nagmamahal sa iyo
Nandito ako***
Kung ako ang iyong iibigin
'Di kailangan nang mangamba
Pagkat ako ay parang mong alipin
Sa iyo lang wala nang iba
(repeat ***)
Nandito ako...
song performed by by Lea Salonga
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kung Fu Fighting (dance Remix)
Oh Oh Oh Ooooh
Ya'll ready?
Oh Oh Oh Ooooh
Yeah.
Let's Go!
Oh Oh Oh Ooooh
Now here it is, want to make you move
something with a funky Kung Foo groove
something that will make you shout
make you play to the crowd
and make you want to turn it out
so homies gather 'round (right 'round)
i'll pick you up take you on go pound-for-pound
'cuz i'm the only man who'll please ya
i got a little something that'll tease ya
so throw those hands up high (come on)
shake your body move from side to side (thats right)
cuz we just begun party people in the place yeah we're having fun
oh yeah i'm gonna be a big star
i'm gonna lay it on and go woo-hah
cuz when the mood gets exciting (come on)
when everybody's Kung Foo fighting
(Chorus)
Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting - hunh (come on, hoo-hah)
Those kids were fast as lighhing - ha (woo-chop)
In fact it was a little bit frightening - hunh (huh-huh-huh)
But they fought with expert timing. - ha
Sing it girl
Sexy Kung Foo Fighter
Let me take you higher
i got the moves baby
sing kung foo fighter
take you higher
Aaaaw yeah!
There's bright lights on and no cold flow (so what?)
A kung foo fighter in a disco
he's out to take his chance
he goes for honeys in the house and he goes for romance (he's on the floor)
he's got a white suit on fight pants on and the night has just begun
cuz when he lays it on with style
a ladies man with a nice smile
and right befroe his eyes
sees a pretty young thing looking real fly (so fly)
he wants to make the score
so he takes her hand and leads her to the dance floor
he's giving her line after line
she tells him that he looks real fine
she sees the man's perfect timing
just like when he's kung foo fighting
(chorus)
Sing it girl
Sexy Kung Foo Fighter
Let me take you higher
kung foo fighters everywhere
throw those hands in the air
the time has come to turn it out
everybody let me hear you shout
1-2 Do the Kung Foo
Crowd: 1-2 Do the Kung Foo!
Say 3-4 on the dance floor
Crowd: 3-4 On the dance floor!
Come on 1-2 Do the Kung Foo
Crowd: 1-2 Do the Kung Foo!
Say 3-4 on the dance floor
Crowd: 3-4 On the dance floor!
One more time
roundhouse kick karate chop too
i'm gonna teach you all the kung foo
its an eastern thing that's what i'm saying
while the retro disco track's playing
gonna make you shout, make you beg for more
so get your body on the dance floor (come on girl)
So boys and girls you know what to do
throw those hands up adn do the kung foo
(chorus fades until end)
song performed by by Fatboy Slim
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jesus Is The Main Man
Jesus is the main man.
That's it.
No more comments!
Jesus is the main man.
You can zip your parted lips, now!
Jesus is the main man.
Forget those pity stops at pits.
Jesus is the main man.
This you 'must' admit, now!
Jesus is the main man.
That's it.
No more comments on it made...
To degrade or say what else may fit.
Jesus is the main man.
Know this,
And get lifted quick!
Jesus is the main man.
Understand this as best you can.
Jesus is the main man.
Commanded when you pray,
Now!
Jesus is the main man.
That's it...
No need for further comments on it!
Jesus is the main man.
He's like a gift one gets,
To share unlimited!
Jesus is the main man.
It's hard to sit still,
When something received
Is known
To be real!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nothing But the Blood
What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
For my pardon this I see -
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
For my cleansing, this my plea -
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
Nothing can for sin atone -
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
Naught of good that I have done -
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
This is all my hope and peace -
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
This is all my righteousness -
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
CHORUS
Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.
poem by Robert Wadsworth Lowry
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sana Maulit Muli
Sana maulit muli
Ang mga oras nating nakaraan
Bakit nagkaganito
Naglaho na ba ang pag-ibig mo
Sana maulit muli
Sana bigyan ng pansin ang himig ko
Kahapon, bukas, ngayon
Tanging wala nang ibang mahal
Chorus:
Kung kaya kong iwanan ka
Di na sana aasa pa...
Kung kaya kong umiwas na
Di na sana lalapit pa...
Kung kaya ko sana
Ibalik ang kahapon
Sandaling di mapapantayan
Huwag sana nating itapon
Pagmamahal na tapat
Kung ako'y nagkamali minsan
Di na ba mapagbibigyan
O giliw, dinggin mo ang nais ko...
(Chorus)
Ito ang tanging nais ko
Ang ating kahapon sana maulit muli
(Chorus 2x)
Mahal pa rin kita...
O giliw... O giliw...
poem by Sirius White
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Jesus's Job!
you took Jesus's job,
and sent it overseas...
always thinking of the bottom line.
and now his benefits
have run out!
you've got an angry
Jesus with a gun,
and a hungry family,
on the streets.
black Jesus, white Jesus,
brown Jesus, red Jesus...
it dont matter,
take your pick...
he's standing in your doorway!
poem by Eric Cockrell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Jesus
My Jesus is like a voice in the dark
My Jesus is like a lonely warning
My Jesus is like a fear that haunts me
My Jesus is like a tortured memory
I'm Praying for my soul
My Jesus is a collector of pain
My Jesus says
"Pain will prove you love me"
My Jesus is like a shadow crawling
My Jesus says
"Their screams will guide you to me"
I'm Praying for your soul
song performed by by Gary Numan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nothin But The Blood
Words & music:michael w. smith and chris harris
Woa-o-woa-oah-woa-o-woa-oah
Woa-o-woa-oah-woa-o-woa-oah
Woa-o-woa-oah-woa-o-woa-oah
Woa-o-woa-oah-woa-o-woa-oah
What can wash away my sins
(theres) nothing but the blood of jesus
What can make me whole again
Nothing but the blood of jesus
This is all my righteousness
Its nothing but the blood of jesus
This is all my hope and peace
Nothing but the blood of jesus
Nothing but the blood of jesus
Nothing but the blood of jesus
Nothing but the blood of jesus
Nothing but the blood of jesus
song performed by by Michael W. Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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That's Jesus
THAT'S JESUS
WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING
PUT MY FEET ON THE FLOOR
I THANK HIM FOR THE DAY
THAT HE GAVE ME ONE MORE
I GIVE HIM ALL THE PRAISE
THE ONE THAT I ADORE
THAT'S JESUS, OH THAT'S JESUS
I WAS LOST AND ALL ALONE
MY HEART IN NEED OF HELP
I FOUND ETERNAL LIFE
AND LOST MY FEAR OF DEATH
BECAUSE I KNOW THE AUTHOR OF
MY EVERY BREATH,
OH THAT'S JESUS, THAT'S JESUS
GOD OF GLORY, MAJESTY
THE HOLY ONE WHO DIED FOR ME
WHO'S THE ONE I LONG TO SEE
THAT'S JESUS, OH THAT'S JESUS
IF YOU'RE A SOUL THAT'S LOST
AND IN NEED OF DIRECTION
YOU WONDER WHEN YOU DIE
IF YOU'LL GO TO HEAVEN
WELL FRIEND I'VE FOUND THE ANSWER
TO THAT VERY QUESTION
THAT'S JESUS, THAT'S JESUS
GOD OF GLORY, MAJESTY
THE HOLY ONE WHO DIED FOR ME
WHO'S THE ONE I LONG TO SEE
THAT'S JESUS, OH THAT'S JESUS
song performed by by Randy Travis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Canto XIII: Kung Walked
Kung walked
by the dynastic temple
and into the cedar grove,
and then out by the lower river,
And with him Khieu Tchi
and Tian the low speaking
And ``we are unknown," said Kung,
``You will take up charioteering?
``Then you will become known,
``Or perhaps I should take up charioterring, or archery?
``Or the practice of public speaking?''
And Tseu-lou said, ``I would put the defences in order,''
And Khieu said, ``If I were lord of a province
``I would put it in better order than this is.''
And Tchi said, ``I would prefer a small mountain temple,
``With order in the observances,
with a suitable performance of the ritual,''
And Tian said, with his hand on the strings of his lute
The low sounds continuing
after his hand left the strings,
And the sound went up like smoke, under the leaves,
And he looked after the sound:
``The old swimming hole,
``And the boys flopping off the planks,
``Or sitting in the underbrush playing mandolins.''
And Kung smiled upon all of them equally.
And Thseng-sie desired to know:
``Which had answered correctly?''
And Kung said, ``They have all answered correctly,
``That is to say, each in his nature.''
And Kung raised his cane against Yuan Jang,
Yuan Jang being his elder,
For Yuan Jang sat by the roadside pretending to
be receiving wisdom.
And Kung said
``You old fool, come out of it,
``Get up and do something useful.''
And Kung said
``Respect a child's faculties
``From the moment it inhales the clear air,
``But a man of fifty who knows nothng
Is worthy of no respect.''
And "When the prince has gathered about him
``All the savants and artists, his riches will be fully employed.''
And Kung said, and wrote on the bo leaves:
If a man have not order within him
He can not spread order about him;
And if a man have not order within him
His family will not act with due order;
And if the prince have not order within him
He can not put order in his dominions.
And Kung gave the words ``order''
and ``brotherly deference''
And said nothing of the ``life after death.''
And he said
``Anyone can run to excesses,
``It is easy to shoot past the mark,
``It is hard to stand firm in the middle.''
And they said: If a man commit murder
Should his father protect him, and hide him?
And Kung said:
He should hide him.
And Kung gave his daughter to Kong-Tchang
Although Kong-Tchang was in prison.
And he gave his niece to Nan-Young
although Nan-Young was out of office.
And Kung said ``Wan ruled with moderation,
``In his day the State was well kept,
``And even I can remember
``A day when the historians left blanks in their writings,
``I mean, for things they didn't know,
``But that time seems to be passing.
A day when the historians left blanks in their writings,
But that time seems to be passing.''
And Kung said, ``Without character you will
``be unable to play on that instrument
``Or to execute the music fit for the Odes.
``The blossoms of the apricot
``blow from the east to the west,
``And I have tried to keep them from falling."
poem by Ezra Pound
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Oh How I Love Jesus
(traditional)
Ohh oh oh oh
When I am disgraced
And I feel the gloom
God sends his angel
To see him my broom
Joy bells are ringing
Im satisfied
I know, I know that jesus is mine
Oh, how I love jesus
Oh, how I love jesus
Oh, how I love jesus
To know that jesus is mine
Oh, how I love jesus
Oh, how I love jesus
Oh, how I love jesus
To know that jesus is mine
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Canto 13
Kung walked
by the dynastic temple
and into the cedar grove,
and then out by the lower river,
And with him Khieu Tchi
and Tian the low speaking
And "we are unknown," said Kung,
"You will take up charioteering?
"Then you will become known,
"Or perhaps I should take up charioterring, or archery?
"Or the practice of public speaking?"
And Tseu-lou said, "I would put the defences in order,"
And Khieu said, "If I were lord of a province
"I would put it in better order than this is."
And Tchi said, "I would prefer a small mountain temple,
"With order in the observances,
with a suitable performance of the ritual,"
And Tian said, with his hand on the strings of his lute
The low sounds continuing
after his hand left the strings,
And the sound went up like smoke, under the leaves,
And he looked after the sound:
"The old swimming hole,
"And the boys flopping off the planks,
"Or sitting in the underbrush playing mandolins."
And Kung smiled upon all of them equally.
And Thseng-sie desired to know:
"Which had answered correctly?"
And Kung said, "They have all answered correctly,
"That is to say, each in his nature."
And Kung raised his cane against Yuan Jang,
Yuan Jang being his elder,
For Yuan Jang sat by the roadside pretending to
be receiving wisdom.
And Kung said
"You old fool, come out of it,
"Get up and do something useful."
And Kung said
"Respect a child's faculties
"From the moment it inhales the clear air,
"But a man of fifty who knows nothng
Is worthy of no respect."
And "When the prince has gathered about him
"All the savants and artists, his riches will be fully employed."
And Kung said, and wrote on the bo leaves:
If a man have not order within him
He can not spread order about him;
And if a man have not order within him
His family will not act with due order;
And if the prince have not order within him
He can not put order in his dominions.
And Kung gave the words "order"
and "brotherly deference"
And said nothing of the "life after death."
And he said
"Anyone can run to excesses,
"It is easy to shoot past the mark,
"It is hard to stand firm in the middle."
And they said: If a man commit murder
Should his father protect him, and hide him?
And Kung said:
He should hide him.
And Kung gave his daughter to Kong-Tchang
Although Kong-Tchang was in prison.
And he gave his niece to Nan-Young
although Nan-Young was out of office.
And Kung said "Wan ruled with moderation,
"In his day the State was well kept,
"And even I can remember
"A day when the historians left blanks in their writings,
"I mean, for things they didn't know,
"But that time seems to be passing.
A day when the historians left blanks in their writings,
But that time seems to be passing."
And Kung said, "Without character you will
"be unable to play on that instrument
"Or to execute the music fit for the Odes.
"The blossoms of the apricot
"blow from the east to the west,
"And I have tried to keep them from falling."
poem by Ezra Pound
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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