Bologna is a deli meat for people with eyes.
quote by Mitch Hedberg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Bologna
Ooh, my little hungry one, hungry one
Open up a package of my bologna
Ooh, I think the toast is done, the toast is done
Top it with a little of my bologna
Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But Ill soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna
Spreadin on the mustard now, show me how
Spread it on a litle of this bologna
Hopin that we dont run out, dont run out
If we do Im sure that Ill miss bologna
Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But Ill soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
(belch)
Goin to the market now, market now
Im the citys biggest bologna buyer
Walkin down the shopping isles, shopping isles
Filling up my basket with oscar meyer
Never gonna stop, eat it up
Such a tasty snack I always eat too much, then throw up
But Ill soon be back for my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my, my, my, yi, yi, woo
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
M-m-m-my bologna
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bologna
[parody of my sharona by the knack]
Goin to the market now, market now.
Im the citys biggest bologna buyer.
Walkin down the shopping aisle, shopping aisle,
Filling up my basket with oscar meyer.
Never gonna stop, eat it up,
Such a tasty snack.
I always eat too much, and throw up,
But Ill soon be back
For my-my-my-y-y woo!
M-m-m-m-m-m-m-my-my-my-y-y woo!
M-m-m-my bologna.
M-m-m-my bologna.
M-m-m-my bologna.
M-m-m-my bologna!
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For Molly, Concerning God
Is God the one who eats the meat
off the bones of dead people?
-Molly Miranda Jong-Fast, age 3 1/2
God is the one,
Molly,
whether we call him
Him,
or Her,
treeform or spewing
volcano,
Vesuvius or vulva,
penis-rock,
or reindeer-on-cave-wall,
God is the one
who eats
our meat,
Molly,
& we yield
our meat
up willingly.
Meat is our
element,
meat is our
lesson.
When our bodies fill
with each other,
when our blood swells
in our organs
aching for another,
body of meat,
heart of meat,
soul of meat,
we are only doing
what God wants
us to—
meat joining meat
to become insubstantial air,
meat fusing
with meat
to make
a small wonder
like you.
The wonder of you
is that you push
our questions
along into
the future—
so that I know
again
the wonder of meat
through you,
the wonder of meat
turning to philosophy,
the wonder of meat
transubstantiated
into poetry,
the wonder of
sky-blue meat
in your roundest eyes,
the wonder of
dawn-colored meat
in your cheeks & palms,
the wonder of meat
becoming
air.
You
are my theorem,
my proof,
my meaty metaphysics,
my little questioner,
my small Socrates
of the nursery-schoolyard.
To think that
such wonder
can come from meat!
Well then,
if God is hungry—
let Him eat,
let Her eat.
poem by Erica Jong
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Little Simile For Today
The world is like a piece of bologna.
Its round.
It tastes good to some people.
It's made up of many different meats.
If you let it sit there for too long without doing anything with it, it will go bad.
A piece of bologna is like the world.
poem by Kristin Webster
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Toojay's Deli
In the spring of 1981,
Toojay's success had just begun.
Starting in Palm Beach and expanding through the sunshine state,
they have made customers happy they have satisfied their tastes.
With comfort food, healthy food choices, deserts and traditional deli fare-
Friendly service in a casual and lively atmosphere.
Try their deli sandwiches, soups and potato pancakes,
something for everyone, make no mistake.
Lighter and Vegetarian section
for health conscious people, Toojay' provides selection.
Toojay's has won awards like Best Deli, Hall Of Fame,
even Best Of Boca, Best Of The Best just a few I can name.
Toojay's will even deliver out of state by plane,
most destinations east of the Missippi,
you won't have long to wait.
Go to Toojay's for breakfast, lunch, dinner or to go,
Toojay's does catering, it's a good thing to know.
poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Toojay’s Deli
In the spring of 1981,
Toojay’s success had just begun.
Starting in Palm Beach and expanding through the sunshine state,
they have made customers happy they have satisfied their tastes.
With comfort food, healthy food choices, deserts and traditional deli fare-
Friendly service in a casual and lively atmosphere.
Try their deli sandwiches, soups and potato pancakes,
something for everyone, make no mistake.
Lighter and Vegetarian section
for health conscious people, Toojay’ provides selection.
Toojay’s has won awards like Best Deli, Hall Of Fame,
even Best Of Boca, Best Of The Best just a few I can name.
Toojay’s will even deliver out of state by plane,
most destinations east of the Missippi,
you won’t have long to wait.
Go to Toojay’s for breakfast, lunch, dinner or to go,
Toojay’s does catering, it’s a good thing to know.
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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One Meat Ball
(l. singer-h.zaret)
The little man walked up and down
To find an eating place in town
He read the menu through and through
To see what fifteen cents could do
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, he could afford but one meat ball
He told the waiter near at hand
A simple dinner he had planned
The guests were startled one and all to hear
That waiter loudly call
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, this here gent wants one meat ball
Little man felt very bad
One meat ball was all he had
And in his dreams he hears that call
Ya gets no bread with one meat ball
One meat ball, one meat ball
Well, you get no bread with one meat ball
Well, he could afford but one meat ball
One meat ball, one meat ball
All he could afford was one meat ball
One meat ball
song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In Alabama
In Alabama
In Alabama
There’s red clay dirt
Those people pray
Not just on Sunday
In Alabama
There’s Nascar Racing at Talladega
In Alabama
The Crimson Tide play’s football outside
In Alabama
Lake Guntersville
It’s a thrill
Right there, Bass fishing
Is the best in the world
In Alabama
Near the Tennessee River
You’ll find Muscle Shull’s
Some great musician’s
In Alabama
We eat fried bologna
And sliced tomato sandwiches
We thank God for the meat
Between the bread in Alabama
poem by E.Marie AldrichCreasy
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When I was a kid, there was no distinction between a movie about old people or young people. It was either funny or not. It was either entertaining or not. It was either exciting or not. It was either thrilling or not.
quote by Joseph Bologna
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Funny Bunny (Bologna Pt.2)
There once was a bunny
Who was really funny
That ate some carrots
With some cool ferrets
Then there was a bologna
Who was inside Rodney
Being digested horribly
Then he saw the bunny
Bunny ate Rodney
This made him funny
As he ate the honey
Covered in bologna
poem by Drew TaylorScott
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You know, people come up with formulas who are uncreative. They can't picture something different so they can only go by something that's laid out for them.
quote by Joseph Bologna
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Meat City
Well I been meat city to see for myself
Well I been meat city to see for myself
Been meat city, been meat...
Just got to give me some rock n roll
People were dancing like theres no tomorrow
Meat city
Fingerlickin chickinpickin meat city shookdown u.s.a.
Pig meat city
Well I been the mountain to see for myself
Well I been the mountain to see for myself
Been the mountain, been the...
Just got to give me some rock n roll
Snake doctors shakin like theres no tomorrow
Freak city
Chickinsuckin mothertruckin meat city shookdown u.s.a.
Pig meat city
Well Im gonna china to see for myself
Well Im gonna china to see for myself
Gonna china gonna ...
Just got to give me some rock n roll
People were jumping like theres no tomorrow
Meat city
Fingerlickin chickinpickin meat city shookdown u.s.a.
Pig meat city
Well Im gonna china
Yes Im gonna china
Well Im gonna china
Yes Im gonna china
Im gonna china
Yes Im gonna china
Alright
song performed by by Lennon John
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Rye & The Kaiser
[parody of eye of the tiger by survivor]
Fat and weak, what a disgrace.
Guess the champ got too lazy.
Aint gonna fly now, hes just takin up space.
Sold his gloves, threw his eggs down the drain.
But hes no bum, he lives down the street.
He bought the neighborhood deli.
Back on his feet, now hes choppin up meat.
Come inside, maybe youll hear him say,
Try the rye or the kaiser,
Theyre on special tonight.
Let me please be your catering advisor.
If you want substitutions,
I wont put up a fight.
You can have your roast beef on the rye or the kaiser.
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Meat And Potato Man
meat and potato man
I like my steak well done, my taters fried
Football games on monday night
Its just who i am
A meat and potato man
I like my coffee black
Oltv shows
My women hot and my beer ice cold
Its just who i am
A meat and potato man
I dont like caviar, sushi bars,
The irs or phony stars
Im a haggard fan
A meat and potato man
I like my fishinholes, lightninbugs
Flatt nscruggs, and my womans love
Its just who i am
A meat and potato man
I like my wrangler jeans, cowboy boots
Cornbread and beans and country roots
Its just who i am
A meat and potato man
I dont like politics, hypocrites
Folks with poodles dressed like kids
Im a hounddog fan
A meat and potato manyeah, thats what i am,
A meat and potato man
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Meat & Potato Man
Meat and potato man
I like my steak well done, my taters fried
Football games on monday night
Its just who I am
A meat and potato man
I like my coffee black
Oltv shows
My women hot and my beer ice cold
Its just who I am
A meat and potato man
I dont like caviar, sushi bars,
The irs or phony stars
Im a haggard fan
A meat and potato man
I like my fishinholes, lightninbugs
Flatt nscruggs, and my womans love
Its just who I am
A meat and potato man
I like my wrangler jeans, cowboy boots
Cornbread and beans and country roots
Its just who I am
A meat and potato man
I dont like politics, hypocrites
Folks with poodles dressed like kids
Im a hounddog fan
A meat and potato manyeah, thats what I am,
A meat and potato man
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Meat City
Well!
I been meat city to see for myself,
Well, i been meat city to see for myself,
Been meat city, been meat city,
Just got to give me some rock and roll.
(!gip a kcuf)
People were dancing like there's no tomorrow, meat city.
Fingerlickin' chickinpickin', meat city shookdown u.s.a., yeah!
Pig meat city.
Well, i been the mountain to see for myself,
Well, i been the mountain to see for myself,
Been the mountain, been the mountain,
Just gotta give me some rock and roll.
Snake doctors shaking like there's no tomorrow, freak city.
Ooh!
Chickinsuckin', mothertruckin', meat city shookdown u.s.a.
Pig meat city.
Well, i'm gonna china to see for myself,
Well, i'm gonna china to see for myself,
Gonna china, gonna...
Just gotta give me some rock and roll.
People were jumpin' like there's no tomorrow, meat city, oh!
Fingerlickin' chickinpickin', meat city shookdown u.s.a.
Pig meat city.
Well, i'm gonna china, yes, i'm gonna china,
Well, i'm gonna china, yes, i'm gonna china,
Come on!
Uh, huh, huh, uh, uh, yeah, yeah,
Come on, yeah!
I'm gonna china,
Oh yeah! yeah!
Yes, i'm gonna china,
Alright! oh yeah!
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Prince Of The Punks
A well known groover, rock n roll user,
Wanted to be a star.
But he failed the blues, and hes back to loser,
Playing folk in a country bar.
Reggae music didnt seem to satisfy his needs.
He couldnt handle modern jazz,
cause they play it in difficult keys.
But now hes found a music he can call his own,
Some people call it junk, but he dont care,
Hes found a home.
Hes the prince of the punks and hes finally made it,
Thinks he looks cool but his act is dated.
He acts working class but its all bologna,
Hes really middle class and hes just a phony.
He acts tough but its just a front,
Hes the prince of the punks.
Hes the prince of the punks and hes finally made it,
Thinks he looks cool but his act is dated.
He tried to be gay, but it didnt pay,
So he bought a motorbike instead.
He failed at funk, so he became a punk,
cause he thought hed make a little more bread.
Hes been through all of the changes,
From rock opera to mantovani.
Now he wears a swastika band
And leather boots up past his knees.
Hes much too old for twenty-eight,
But he thinks hes seventeen,
He thinks hes a stud,
But I think he looks more like a queen.
Hes the prince of the punks and hes finally made it,
Thinks he looks cool but his act is dated.
He talks like a cockney but its all bologna,
Hes really middle class and hes just a phony.
He acts tough but its just a front.
Hes the prince of the punks and hes finally made it,
Thinks he looks cool but his act is dated.
He acts working class but its all bologna,
Hes really middle class and hes just a phony.
He acts tough but its just a front,
Hes the prince of the punks and hes finally made it,
Thinks he looks cool but his act is dated.
He acts working class but its all bologna,
Hes really middle class and hes just a phony.
He acts tough but its just a front,
Hes the prince of the punks.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bone OUT
Dog
Did not
Lovengely
Eat at...
Meat...
Why...?
Meat bone less
Meat...
So...
Dog did not
Eat meet...
Dog wanted for
Bone...
With meat...!
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Child of the Romans
The dago shovelman sits by the railroad track
Eating a noon meal of bread and bologna.
A train whirls by, and men and women at tables
Alive with red roses and yellow jonquils,
Eat steaks running with brown gravy,
Strawberries and cream, eclaires and coffee.
The dago shovelman finishes the dry bread and bologna,
Washes it down with a dipper from the water-boy,
And goes back to the second half of a ten-hour day’s work
Keeping the road-bed so the roses and jonquils
Shake hardly at all in the cut glass vases
Standing slender on the tables in the dining cars.
poem by Carl Sandburg
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Most people would rather stay home and watch Casablanca for the fourth time or the 10th time on Turner Classic Movies than go see Matrix 12 or whatever the hell the flavor of the month is.
quote by Joseph Bologna
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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