A ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.
quote by Herbert Spencer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Marriage: a ceremony in which rings are put on the finger of the lady and through the nose of the gentleman.
quote by Herbert Spencer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Standing On Ceremony
Remember your manners
Will you please take your hat off
Your mother is dying
Listen to her cough
We were always standing on ceremony
We were always standing on ceremony
Cant you show some respect please
Although you didnt in real life
Your mother is dying
And I God damn well hope youre satisfied
We were always standing on ceremony
We were always standing on ceremony
So please play another song on that juke box
Please play another pretty sad song for me
And if that phone rings, tell them that you havent seen me
If that last phone rings
Tell them that you havent seen me for weeks
And this one heres on me
Standing on ceremony, standing on ceremony
Standing on ceremony, standing on ceremony
Standing on ceremony, you were always standing on ceremony
(standing, on ceremony)
(standing, on ceremony)
(standing, on ceremony)
(standing, on ceremony)
(standing, on ceremony)
(standing, on ceremony)
...
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Lady Loves Me
(duet with ann-margaret)
(words & music by tepper - bennett)
She loves me, she loves me not
She loves me, she loves me not
She loves me, she loves me, she loves me
The lady loves me and it shows
In spite of the way she turns up her nose
Im her ideal, her hearts desire
Under that ice shes burning like fire
Shed like to cuddle up to me
Shes playing hard to get
The lady loves me, but she doesnt know it yet
The gentleman has savoir-faire
As much as an elephant or a bear
Id like to take him for a spin
Back to the zoo to visit his kin
Hes got about as much appeal as a soggy cigarette
The lady loathes him but he doesnt know it yet
The ladys got a crush on me
The gentlemans crazy obviously
The ladys dying to be kissed
The gentleman needs a psychiatrist
Id rather kiss a rattlesnake
Or play russian roulette
The lady loves me, but she doesnt know it yet
Shes falling fast shes on the skids
Both of his heads are flipping their lids
Tonight shell hold me in her arms
Id rather be holding hydrogen bombs
Will someone tell this romeo
Im not his juliet
The lady loves me, but she doesnt know it yet
She wants me
Like poison ivy
Needs me
Like a hole in the head
Everyone can see shes got it bad
Hes mad!
The gentleman is an egotist
Im simply aware Im hard to resist
Hes one man I could learn to hate
Hows about having dinner at eight
Id rather dine with frankenstein
In a moonlight tete-a-tete
The lady loves me, but she doesnt know it yet
Oh yes she loves me
Dig that shrinking violet
Oh she really loves me
Heres one gal youll never get
She lo- lo- loves me
Would you like to make a bet
I said the lady loves me
The gentlemans all wet
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Day I Got My Finger Stuck Up My Nose
When I got my finger stuck up my nose
I went to a doctor, who said,
"Nothing like this has happened before,
We will have to chop off your head."
"It's only my finger stuck up my nose,
It's only my finger!" I said.
"I see what it is," the doctor replied,
"But we'll still have to chop off your head."
He went to the cabinet and took out an axe.
I watched with considerable dread.
"But it's only my finger stuck up my nose.
It's only a finger!" I said.
"Perhaps we can yank it out with a hook
Tied to some surgical thread.
Maybe we can try that," he replied
"Rather than chop off your head."
"I'm never going to pick it again.
I've now learned my lesson," I said.
"I won't stick my finger up my nose -
I'll stick it in my ear instead."
poem by Brian Patten
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Your Rings
The rings you wore on your finger
Are now placed inside a very small box
Hidden away inside my dresser drawer
Hoping that someday they will be forgot.
They are the rings I had placed on your finger
Then after that, I took you by the hand
You were going to my woman forever
And also forever, I would be your man.
So I swore to all I would wear your ring
And I did that with a happiness and a pride
But then you took my rings off of your finger
Then inside my heart, a part of me just died.
As when I looked up, upon our table
I saw your rings and there they just lied
Abandoned too, they were just like me
And if they had tears I know they too would of cried.
So I took our rings and placed them together
Inside my dresser drawer inside a small box
So they can be together, for their forever
And from each other they will never be lost.
Randy L. McClave
poem by Randy McClave
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Different Finger
Please put your rings on a diffrent finger if you meet me tonight
cause I cant stand those suspicious glances
cause I know the things theyre saying are right
Theyre saying why dont you straighten up
And see what youve got to lose
Put it all down to fate but you still got the chance to choose
I dont want to hear your whole life story
Or about my strange resemblance to some old flame
All I want is one night of glory
I dont even know your second name
Please put your rings on a diffrent finger cause weve got so much at stake
I cant stand those suspicious glances
cause they seem to cover evry move I make
But if I can be alone with you completely tonight
Put your rings on a diffrent finger
Before I turn out the light
song performed by by Elvis Costello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There was a Young Lady whose nose,
Was so long that it reached to her toes;
So she hired an Old Lady,
Whose conduct was steady,
To carry that wonderful nose.
quote by by Edward Lear
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Piazza Piece
-- I am a gentleman in a dustcoat trying
To make you hear. Your ears are soft and small
And listen to an old man not at all,
They want the young men's whispering and sighing.
But see the roses on your trellis dying
And hear the spectral singing of the moon;
For I must have my lovely lady soon,
I am a gentleman in a dustcoat trying.
-- I am a lady young in beauty waiting
Until my truelove comes, and then we kiss.
But what grey man among the vines is this
Whose words are dry and faint as in a dream?
Back from my trellis, Sir, before I scream !
I am a lady young in beauty waiting.
poem by John Crowe Ransom
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Gentlemen's Lady
She's a gentleman's lady,
She will date, no ordinary dude.
She shops the streets of Paris, and
eats french pasteries too.
Her pallet prefers the finest wines,
as she does what she do.
She adorns her self beaitifully,
and dabs on expensive perfume.
Her duties may be fun to some.
Her client's list, a few.
Some give her flowers, others
give her forbidden titles, because
she breaks all the rules.
Oh, how she expressses herself,
to those who needs what she do.
Her name, it varies, Mona, Lisa, or June.
She's a gentleman's lady, from midnight til noon.
So what you hear about her, all may be true?
For she is trained to use her skills,
to, lure and excite you.
Ooh....
poem by Angel A. Lockwood
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Perfect Gentleman
There is no doubt about it
Im one of a kind, baby
I am le dartagnan de coeur
As you may see, candy
And Im talkin with my eyes
And I walk in different styles
Im the genuine man!
Yes I am
I am a perfect gentleman
Yes I am
I am a perfect gentleman
Kneel down, inhale my odor
Come, kiss my hand, angel
Dare to explore my higher
Grounds
Strive to deserve me,
Ma cherie
And my winds
Surpass perfume
Im charismatic at full bloom
Im the genuine man!
Yes I am
I am a perfect gentleman
Yes I am
I am a perfect gentleman
Yes I am, I am, yes I am
(perfect)
Oh lord, what can I do
I cant resist my own
Reflection
How would possibly anyone?
Cause I am (perfect)
Yes I am (perfect)
Oh lord I am (perfect)
Yes I am
I am a perfect gentleman
Yes I am
I am a perfect gentleman
song performed by by Helloween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skull Ring
(feat. The Stooges)
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Money
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Fancy things
The touch of a hand in the wasteland
you're walking asleep and dreaming cheap
A bird's wing don't beat for free
You're freezing cold and your family
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Money
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Fancy things
Fingers on fire to do what's bad
Ring on the finger is a skull man
Strong as a bar of steel
Weakness is that you can't feel
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Money
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Fancy things
My life is dirtied, my mind is loaded
I'm feeling and breathing and fighting
To see
People get ready now
Baby come on give your heart to me
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Money
Skull rings
Fast cars
Hot chicks
Fancy things
song performed by by Iggy Pop
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nose
No one cares for the nose
To go nose straight is the tao
If there were no eyes
You could see better with your nose
If there were no nose
you wouldnot distinguish the sweet from the bitter
And there would be no value judgements in the world
And it is the nose that keeps you hot in the cold
And that keeps you cold in Jakodabad
The nose is the vigilant customs officer
That does not allow any drug to your lungs
And the nose cannot be bribed
Oh Nose! the customs officer of the body
And the pivot of value judgement in the world
If that name thou love
Remain with us and teach the noseless world
That it must have a nose in this wartorn world
He who knows the greatness of nose
Surely goes to the realm of rose
In the life to come
Hurrah Let us compose hymns to nose
poem by Dr. Ramesh Chandra Mukhopadhyaya
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Wrapped Around Your Finger
You consider me the young apprentice
Caught between the Scylla and Charibdes.
Hypnotized by you if I should linger
Staring at the ring around your finger.
I have only come here seeking knowledge,
Things they would not teach me of in college.
I cant see the best in me
That you saw
I'll be wrapped around your finger.
I'll be wrapped around your finger.
Mephistopheles is not your name,
But I know what you're up to just the same.
I will listen hard to your tuition,
And you will see it come to it's fruition.
I'll be wrapped around your finger.
I'll be wrapped around your finger.
Devil and the deep blue sea behind me
Vanish in the air you'll never find me.
I will turn your face to alabaster,
Then you'll find your servant is your master,
And you'll be wrapped around my finger.
I'll be wrapped around your finger.
You'll be wrapped around my finger.
I'll be wrapped around your finger
song performed by by Underoath
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Quintetto
[To the tune of "Turning, turning, turning, as wheel goes round."]
RECITATIVE. MR. PAPERSTAMP:
Jack Horner's CHRISTMAS PIE my learned nurse
Interpreted to mean the public purse.
From thence a plum he drew. O happy Horner!
Who would not be ensconced in thy snug corner
THE FIVE:
While round the public board all eagerly we linger,
for what we can get we will try, try, try:
And we'll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We'll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
MR. FEATHERNEST:
By my own poetic laws, I'm a dealer in applause
For those who don't deserve it, but will buy, buy
So round the court I linger, and thus I get a finget
A finger, finger, finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
THE FIVE:
And we'll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We'll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
MR. VAMP:
My share of pie to win, I will dash through thick and thin
And philosophy and liberty shall fly, fly, fly:
And truth and taste shall know, that their eve Iasting foe
Has a finger, finger, finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
THE FIVE:
And we'll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We'll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
MR. KILLTHEDEAD:
I'll make my verses rattle with the din of war and battle,
For war doth increase sa-la-ry, ry, ry:
And I'll shake the public ears with the triumph of Algiers,
And thus I ll get a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
THE FIVE:
And we'll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We'll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
MR. PAPERSTAMP:
And while you thrive by ranting, I'll try my luck at canting,
And scribble verse and prose all so dry, dry, dry:
And Mystic's patent smoke public intellect shall choke,
Arld we ll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
THE FIVE:
We'll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We'll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
MR. ANYSIDE ANTIJACK:
My tailor is so clever, that my coat will turn for ever,
And take any colour you can dye, dye, dye:
For all my earthly wishes are among the loaves and fishes,
And to have my little finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
THE FIVE:
And we'll all have a finger, a finger, a finger,
We'll all have a finger in the CHRISTMAS PIE.
poem by Thomas Love Peacock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Can't Put My Finger On It
Is it alive, does it writhe
Can it survive under the sun?
I can't put my finger on it.
Is it green, is it red
Is it alive or is it dead
I can't put my finger on it
Scathe with a lathe
All the days in the past
I can't put my finger on it
Is it brown, is it white
Is it really outta sight
I can't put my finger on it
Can it squeal, does it squirm
If it's fresh will it burn?
I can't put my finger on it
Can it fly, will it try
If the wings are still wet?
I can't put my finger on it
Can it heal, is it real
Can it feel the threads of time?
I can't put my finger on it
Does it glow, will it shine
Does it leave a trail of slime
I can't put my finger on it
Are you surprised when I touch the dwarf inside?
(Repeat three times)
(Repeat first verse
song performed by by Ween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Levitate Me
Give me help
Give me help
You can... levitate me
Then take off them rings
Off them hose
Levitate me
Higher place
Levitate me
Elevator lady (4x)
Lady levitate me
If all in all is true (3x)
If all is true
Wont you please fawn over me (4x)
Shaky shake... shakey
Levitate me
Come on pilgrim
You know he loves you
Levitate me
Higer place
Levitate me
He kicked a baby
Elevator lady (3x)
Lady
Elevator lady
Lady. lady. levitate me
If all in all is true (3x)
If all is true
Wont you please run over me (5x)
Me, me, me, me, ...
song performed by by Pixies
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Human Hand
The Human Hand has five fingers,
But none of similar size!
Yet, God put them all together,
To make a Hand so nice!
The Thumb is short and stout as well,
And moves most in all ways;
God gave it utmost importance,
‘I’m the best, ’ it says!
The Index- finger points the way,
And says, ‘I am the best;
As God had made it straight and strong,
’Tis better than the rest.
The Middle-finger grows longest,
And feels the greatest one;
Its actions though of lesser range,
’Tis not useful alone.
The Ring-finger is always proud,
It carries costly rings!
And sometimes, it has more than one!
‘I am richest, ’ it sings.
The Little-finger though smallest,
Cried ’twas sadly ignored!
Foremost in prayer, it remains,
And hence it felt unnerved.
Why fingers should fight ’mongst themselves?
Together, they stand best;
Each one is meant for a function;
Alone they form not Hand!
poem by John Celes
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The more you act like a lady, the more he'll act like a gentleman.
quote by Sydney Biddle Barrows
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No lady is ever a gentleman.
quote by James Branch Cabell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Gentlemans view
I hold the door open for you
a simple act of courtesy
This any gentleman would do.
To you I act insultingly.
Because you simply do not know
how a true lady should react
and the hostility you show.
Just demonstrates this sorry fact.
How sad it is this should be so
That Feminists can only see
Politeness as another blow
against their female dignity.
A lady knows how to accept
such a proffered courtesy
She feels entitled to expect
to be treated courteously
I do not say that feminists
cannot be ladies. I dare not
I am quite sure some must exist
In my experience not a lot
I will still act the gentleman
I know that ladies understand
I act this way to show I can
Be as polite as any man.
So if my manners cause offence
It is something I regret.
But perhaps I might influence
Some feminists so they forget.
Their attitude towards all men
is fuelled by their ignorance.
I hope that they will think again
There might just be the slightest chance.
I recognise equality
I merely choose to be polite
If you prefer hostility
It is your choice you have the right.
11-Jun-07
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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