Whoever called snooker 'chess with balls' was rude, but right.
quote by Clive James
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Snooker
'You've always wanted to use your whatsit as a billiard cue, '
The advert for the sex-aid said. Thinking of me and you
I've always been less concerned with giving you 'a wild time, '
Than whether you thought my poetry would do.
I've always preferred snooker anyway,
It's got more balls.
poem by John Thorkild Ellison
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Got You By The Balls
Hey mister businessman
Head of the company
Are you looking for a lady
One who likes to please?
Hey mister businessman
This one likes to tease
With a special service
In french quantities
But she wont sacrifice
What you want tonight
She wont come across
Unless theres money in her hand
And shes calling all the shots
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
Hey mister businessman
High society
She can play the school girl
And spank you all you please
But she wont sacrifice
What you want tonight
She wont come across
Unless theres money in her hand
She dont go overtime
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
(kiss your balls goodbye)
Hang it left, hang it right,
Got you by the balls
Got your shorts, got your curlies
Got you - by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
Yeah, yeah
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Big Balls
Im ever upper class high society
Gods gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say Ive got
The biggest balls of all
Chorus:
Ive got big balls
Ive got big balls
And theyre such big balls
Dirty big balls
And hes got big balls
And shes got big balls
But weve got the biggest balls of them all
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says Ive got
Great balls of fire
Chorus
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when theyre held for pleasure
Theyre the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
Its my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
Chorus
And Im just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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After that, Kasparov stepped back from chess which is, and I want this to be clear, not good for chess in general at all. As a whole, the current situation in the chess world leaves a lot to be desired.
quote by Anatoly Karpov
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Big Ball's In Cowtown (feat. Asleep At The Wheel)
George Straight & Ricky Skaggs & Asleep At The Wheel
(Big balls in cowtown, yeah.)
(Come on fiddle.. yeah... sure)
Working on the railroad, sleeping on the ground,
Eating saltine crackers, ten cents a pound.(ha)
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - well dance around.
(Ehhhh, come here ma, the hogs done got me).
--- Instrumental ---
(yea...) (mind if I sing one George)
Ill go to cowtown, Ill dance around.
Board up your windows - big balls in town.
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - well dance around.
--- Instrumental ---
Put on your new shoes, put on you gown.
Shake off them sad blues - big balls in town.
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - well dance around.
(Come on Ricky, fiddle now.)
--- Instrumental ---
Everybodys smiling, you cant find a frown. (ha)
Girls are all happy cause big balls in town. (that's right)
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - (yeah...a)
Big balls in town... (Haa...)
song performed by by George Strait
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Chess Piece Face
Whats gonna happen to chess piece face
There go I but for my face
All I know could be defaced by the facts in the life of chess piece face
I dont know where he lives
Or if he knows to sail
Or if little schemes like this one ever cross his trail
But I dont believe hes dreaming
Or if he cares to know
So I shudder* in my lampshade
So, whats gonna happen to chess piece face
There I go but for my face
All I know could be defaced by the facts in the life of chess piece face
Chess piece face
Chess piece face
Chess piece face
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Child's Tournament of Chess
High preparations
Great apprehensions
Last minute advises
Hope for celebrations
That's my child's tournament of chess.
Reaching the venue on time
Dying to know the opponent's name
Waiting for the match to commence
That's my child's tournament of chess.
Win or lose?
Life gets stuck
No mood to stroll
Hauling the mind
out of the chess hall
That's my child's tournament of chess.
My child starts appearing vulnerable
The opponent appears unbeatable
Praying for the win of my race horse
That's my child's tournament of chess.
Makes me meet all my weak emotions
Fear, jealousy, worry and doubt
challenge my sense of spiritualization
My mind gives me premonitions
That's my child's tournament of chess.
Gifts me a chance to become strong
A chance to climb up the emotional ladder,
for what I so long
A chance to look at the opponent as my own child
Pray for both to play their best
That's my child's tournament of chess.
My child's tournament of chess
allows me to understand
the meaning of failure
Two faces of the same coin,
success is no different from failure
Both are the part of the same destination with no comparison
Who can tell which is more important the Moon or the Sun.
My love for my child shall remain the same
Performance is no benchmark for the same
Win or loss, loss or win,
I will always love him
Whatever be the result
of my child's tournament of chess.
poem by Anshul Gupta
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Leonard Chess passed, and that was the end of the Chess label for that time.
quote by Solomon Burke
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Chess is a sport. The main object in the game of chess remains the achievement of victory.
I am still a victim of chess. It has all the beauty of art - and much more. It cannot be commercialized. Chess is much purer than art in its social position.
quote by Marcel Duchamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Avoid the crowd. Do your own thinking independently. Be the chess player, not the chess piece.
quote by Ralph Charell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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But it's also because of something personal. My mother and father met while playing chess, so I've always had a fondness for the game. If it weren't for chess, I might not be here.
quote by Dorothy Dunnett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bobby Fischer has an enormous knowledge of chess and his familiarity with the chess literature of the USSR is immense.
quote by Boris Spassky
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dynamite Satchel Of Pain
Lets write a song, baby
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
Now sit your ass in the chair and I'll tell you my name,
My daddy always told me that he didn't wanna hear me complain,
That's why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
I hope this song will explain,
Just why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
Well I was born in the back of a truck on the fourth of july,
I was raised by a Portuguese ninja who taught me to fly,
A business man pulled over and he asked if I needed a ride,
I had to eat that business man for lunch cos I wanted his tie,
Damn I look good in that tie,
Air born Portuguese ninja eats man for his tie,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My daddy always told me that he didn't wanna hear me complain,
That's why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain.
song performed by by Wheatus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dynomite Satchel Of Pain
Lets write a song, baby
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
Now sit your ass in the chair and I'll tell you my name,
My daddy always told me that he didn't wanna hear me complain,
That's why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
I hope this song will explain,
Just why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
Well I was born in the back of a truck on the fourth of july,
I was raised by a Portuguese ninja who taught me to fly,
A business man pulled over and he asked if I needed a ride,
I had to eat that business man for lunch cos I wanted his tie,
Damn I look good in that tie,
Air born Portuguese ninja eats man for his tie,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My daddy always told me that he didn't wanna hear me complain,
That's why my balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain,
My balls are bigger than a dynamite satchel of pain.
song performed by by Wheatus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Drop In Game
Two curious monkeys sat up in a palm tree
watching two Russian men playing chess.
Everyday they watched the Russians play
until a winner was declared the best.
The next day a Russian sat alone at the table
with the chess pieces set out to play.
A monkey dropped in and sat opposite him
and a game of chess got under way.
For over a week they played each other
until the monkey won five games to three.
The next day a lone monkey sat at the table
until its friend dropped down from a tree.
For two weeks they played each other
with every game resulting in a draw.
The monkeys that sat around watching
applauded and wanted to see more.
Two more weeks passed without a winner,
but then the tropical rains began to pour.
A hurricane blew the chess set out to sea,
now chess is played on the ocean floor.
poem by Orlando Belo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Coke balls
Please, listen everybody
I want to tell you about a candy
That I bought today
And I call this “Coke Balls” and it will make you say
“Wow! This is the best candy that I’ve ever tasted
It taste so good when it’s in my mouth while I’m rolling it around and gets melted”
But be careful when you put it down your throat
Because you might get choke
When your about to eat this coke balls
Don’t swallow it all
You got to put in your mouth
And roll it around wait till it melts out
A little bit, and then you can put it down your throat
Now you won’t get choke, then you’re going to have fun eating my coke
My coke balls, oh my coke balls
You can swallow it all
When is melted a little bit so you won’t get choke
Go have my coke balls, my coke
My coke balls
This is my funny disgusting sexpoem. I'm sorry for the people who's not going to like this but i'm just joking about this. I'm sorry again
poem by Monino Martin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I haven't played a chess match for several decades. At one point I lost most of my chess games. Then I realized many of my competitors were memorizing the best moves and I was unwilling to do this.
quote by John Harsanyi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golden Balls
Red Chevy truck comes passing by,
with gold balls hanging bouncing
in the sky.
Truck zooms around all cars
without a care.
Golden balls wagging
in the air.
Now I heard of a comedian
talking of these “golden balls”
on stage,
She said “Why is “gold balls” all the rage? ”
Guys real balls are ugly enough,
looking at them hanging outside
a car or a truck
makes you shiver inside,
I think I would rather look at
something else when I drive.'
Written by Christina Sunrise on April 7,2011
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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In our town there was a Gestapo officer who loved to play chess. After the occupation began, he found out that my father was the chess master of the region, and so he had him to his house every night.
quote by Bruno Schulz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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