If you want a midget to look like a baby, don't put a cigar in his mouth.
quote by Chuck Jones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Cigar
Some sigh for this and that,
My wishes don't go far;
The world may wag at will,
So I have my cigar.
Some fret themselves to death
With Whig and Tory jar;
I don't care which is in,
So I have my cigar.
Sir John requests my vote,
And so does Mr. Marr;
I don't care how it goes,
So I have my cigar.
Some want a German row,
Some wish a Russian war;
I care not. I'm at peace
So I have my cigar.
I never see the 'Post,'
I seldom read the 'Star;'
The 'Globe' I scarcely heed,
So I have my cigar.
Honors have come to men
My juniors at the Bar;
No matter - I can wait,
So I have my cigar.
Ambition frets me not;
A cab or glory's car
Are just the same to me,
So I have my cigar.
I worship no vain gods,
But serve the household Lar;
I'm sure to be at home,
So I have my cigar.
I do not seek for fame,
A general with a scar;
A private let me be,
So I have my cigar.
To have my choice among
The toys of life's bazaar,
The deuce may take them all
So I have my cigar.
Some minds are often tost
By tempests like a tar;
I always seem in port,
So I have my cigar.
The ardent flame of love,
My bosom cannot char,
I smoke but do not burn,
So I have my cigar.
They tell me Nancy Low
Has married Mr. R.;
The jilt! but I can live,
So I have my cigar.
poem by Thomas Hood
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Midget
I had the body of a two and a half
Year old baby
I had the brain of a man
I used to play underneath my mommas skirts
All day
I parked my car in her garage
She didnt know I was a midget
She thought it was all innocent play
She didnt know I was a midget
But when dad came home she put me away
song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I even smoke in bed. Imagine smoking a cigar in bed, reading a book. Next to your bed, there's a cigar table with a special cigar ashtray, and your wife is reading a book on how to save the environment.
quote by Raul Julia
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I like my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth once in a while.
quote by Groucho Marx
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Candy Store Rock
(page/plant)
Well... oh baby baby. dont you want a man like me?
Oh baby baby, Im just as sweet as anybody could be
Oh baby baby, I want to look to your eyes, of blue
Oh baby baby, its more than anybody else could do
Well... oh baby baby. you know when I see you walkin down the street
Oh baby baby, well you lookin good enough to eat
Oh baby baby, I dont believe Ive tasted this before
Oh baby baby, I want it now
And every mouthfull more of you.
Talk about you, yeah.
Oh baby baby, you know that I wanted it more
Oh baby baby, Im about to kiss goodbye to this store
Oh baby baby, it aint the wrapping that sells the goods
Oh baby baby, I got a sweet tooth when my mouth is full of you.
Ooh baby oh baby its alright, its alright
Ohh baby its alright...its alright
Well, oh baby, baby, oh you sting like a bee
Oh baby, baby, I like your honey and it sure likes me
Oh baby, baby, I got my spoon inside your jar
Oh baby, baby, dont give me too much, dont make me starve
Oh baby, baby, sugar sister on a silver plate
Oh baby, baby, I need a mouthful and I just cant wait
Oh baby, baby, see the shaking in my hand
Oh baby, baby, dont mean to fumble but it tastes so grand
Tastes so grand, tastes so grand, baby its alright
Oh baby its alright, oh its alright
Its alright... (repeat)
song performed by by Led Zeppelin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Don't Want To Be A Star
I don't want to be a star
Just want my Chevy and an old guitar
I don't want to be a star
I don't need the fat cigar
My friends wonder what is wrong with me
Cause I don't get off on my fame
I got so much confusion now
Sometimes I don't even know my name
I don't want to be a star
Just want my Chevy and an old guitar
I don't want to be a star
I don't need the fat cigar
Too many distractions run through my brain
So many girls they start to look the same
Too many options no time to choose
Too many clothes, too many shoes
I've had the world I've done it upside down
I played the part and I've been the clown
Now it's my time, it's a brand new day
To be myself in a different way
I don't want to be a star
Just want my Chevy and an old guitar
I don't want to be a star
I don't need the fat cigar
I got to meet all the wonderful people
I drank with Dylan boy did we act a fool
I got high with Jagger, it was really cool
I don't want to be a star
Just want my Chevy and an old guitar
I don't want to be a star
I don't need the fat cigar
Never...
song performed by by Lenny Kravitz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Maybe it's like becoming one with the cigar. You lose yourself in it; everything fades away: your worries, your problems, your thoughts. They fade into the smoke, and the cigar and you are at peace.
quote by Raul Julia
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Really Like You
i'll buy you mangoes baby
your favorite fruit
i'll shave everything baby
i'll press my suit
i'll find that song by perry como you like to sing
i'll eat your tv dinners
and wear you cigar ring
do you think that I can pursuade
dont make me fade because
CHORUS:
i really like you baby
i want to see you baby
i really like you baby
i want to be you baby
i'll gladly make you
my first tatoo
you and me forever
in red and black and blue
i'll let you drive my car
i'll even paint my eyes
forget about all my friends
and tell outrageous lies
do you think I can pursuade
dont make me fade because
CHORUS
CHORUS (fades out)
CHORUS
song performed by by Melissa Etheridge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I never can understand how anyone can not smoke it deprives a man of the best part of life. With a good cigar in his mouth a man is perfectly safe, nothing can touch him, literally.
quote by Thomas Mann
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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H.T.H.D.T.G.T.
Yeah
Yeah
Baby, baby, come on keep it up
I found myself at the drugstore,
Baby rapping with my funky friends
Shed tears of joy for a soul of sadness, ah ah
My mind was made up now baby
But my mouth kept talking
What the hell am I gonna do,
Gonna do
I said how the hell did they get there, baby
How the hell did they get there, baby
I met this thing called Carrie
She kinda smoked those long French cigarettes (know what I mean boys)
She tried to get me upset
By saying silly little things
My mind was made up now baby
But my mouth kept talking
The hell am I gonna do,
Gonna do
I said how the hell did they get there, baby
How the hell did they get there, baby
How the hell did they
I say how the hell did they
How the hell did they get there, baby
Come on, keep it up
Um, No matter hard I try, try, try, try
Yes, I was Marti, Marti, Marti, Marti, Marti, Marti, Marti
Try a little tenderness,
Come on try, A little tenderness
Same thing
Makes you do wrong
Makes you do right, yeah, yeah, baby baby,
Come on Gimme some groove thing
Groove thing
Horns, horns
Oh try tender, ah oh
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Mind was made up now baby
But my mouth kept talking
What the hell am I gonna do,
Gonna do
I said how the hell did they get there, baby
How the hell did they get there, baby
The hell did they
I said how the hell did they
How the hell did they get there, baby
Gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta
Get there baby,
Baby, baby
Gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta
Get there baby,
Baby, baby, yeah
How the hell did they
I said how the hell did they,
I said how the hell did they,
Get there baby
song performed by by Wet Wet Wet
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
quote by Sigmund Freud
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lost Change
He stood outside
the newspaper stand
on Michigan & Chicago,
the morning winter chill
made him put on his gloves.
He lit a cigar and said
good morning to three
Walgreens female workers
smoking outside in the cold.
“ It’s almost Old Style time, ”
he proclaimed and handed
a magazine with warm beauty
on its cover to a middle age
office worker who quickly
placed it in a briefcase
and continued to walk.
“ Ain’t it too early for beer, ”
said the redhead between inhales.
“ It’s never to early for Old Style…”
The ladies laughed,
died out their cigarettes
and went back to work.
He kept smoking his cigar
as he sold another newspaper
to a passerby who gave him
exact coins and told him
to keep the change.
He looked down
at the two quarters
in the palm of his glove
and took a long drag
pulled the cheap cigar
from his ample mouth
exhaled and yelled,
“and you too have a wonderful day…”
His shift was coming to an end
while most were just starting.
He knew that soon he would
be home drinking an Old Style,
thinking about the redhead
while counting lost change
he did manage to keep.
poem by Charles Lara
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Puff hard the love
Lit the cigar
Let it burn
Puff it hard
And Long
To
Set
It
On
Fire
To
Get
Pleasure
Till
The
Butt
Within
Minutes
It
Will
Finish
To
Ash.
Love and life
Fire and cigar
Do not they flock together,
As birds of same feather?
poem by Abdul Wahab
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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What Is A Cigar?
Even Sigmund Freud
said that sometimes
a cigar is only a cigar.
Not a phallic symbolic
sensual sexual object.
Obviously President
U.S. of A. Clinton
did not graduate past
the phallic symbolism.
Has Clinton not got the Freudian
message down to political pat?
Cigar language is multicultural!
Lewd cigar games are probing
business psychology deeper than
Clinton with Monica Lewinsky!
During Oval Office Intimate Party Games!
Clinton smoked sexually used Lewinsky
cigars; with powerful Japanese businessmen?
Clinton knows a cigar. Is not
just a spent phallic symbol!
Representing a sexual object.
It is an extended aid; to established dominant!
For an ailing, impotent, spent hormonal politician?
Spent definitely. Impotent? Not by a long shot!
‘I did not have sexual relations with that woman! ’
The issue was pergury! He lied under oath!
Willfully and knowingly
stated a whopper falsehood under oath!
The BJ act itself was never unlawful
under the Constitutional Bill of Rights!
Copyright © Terence George Craddock
See also ‘Presidential Impeachment’.
poem by Terence George Craddock
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Dont Worry Baby
Well its been building up inside of me
For oh I dont know how long
I dont know why
But I keep thinking
Somethings bound to go wrong
But she looks in my eyes
And makes me realize
And she says dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Everything will turn out alright
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
I guess I shouldve kept my mouth shut
When I started to brag about my car
But I cant back down now
I pushed the other guys too far
She makes me come alive
And makes me wanna drive
When she says dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Everything will turn out alright
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
She told me baby, when you race today
Just take along my love with you
And if you know how much I loved you
Baby nothing could go wrong with you
Oh what she does to me
When she makes love to me
And she says dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Everything will turn out alright
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
Dont worry baby
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Don't Worry Baby
Well it's been building up inside of me for
oh, I don't know how long.
I don't know why but I keep thinking
Something's bound to go wrong
But she looks in my eyes
And makes me realise
When she says
Don't worry baby.
Everything will turn out all right.
Don't worry baby.
I guess I should've kept my mouth shut
when I started to brag about my car.
But I can't back down now
Because I pushed the other guys too far.
She makes me come alive
And makes me want to drive
When she says
Don't worry baby.
Everything will turn out all right.
Don't worry baby.
Now she told me baby when you race today
Just take along my love with you.
And if you knew how much I loved you baby
Nothing could go wrong with you
Oh what she does to me
when she makes to love to me
And she says
Don't worry baby.
Everything will turn out all right.
Don't worry baby.
Don't worry baby.
Everything will turn out all right.
Don't worry baby.
song performed by by Zed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Blue Song
Drifting on a lilo in the ocean.
Tanning with a 40 factor lotion.
Smoking a cigar
Now heading for the bar.
Baby, I'm oh so blue since you left me.
Hitting all the jazz clubs in the town.
Sitting, chilling out with Leroy Brown.
He's a bad man I agree,
But this guy's learning to be free.
Baby, I'm oh so blue
Since you left me.
Rocking with the guys at way past 3.
Rich women want their toys
Come sit by me.
Fighting back the pain.
But here's the sun
After the rain.
Baby, I'm oh so blue
Since you left me.
Wake in bed
On the east side of the town.
Hold my aching head
Then suddenly look around.
This broad is bringing me some food.
She sweetly smiles
Completely nude.
Baby, I'm so blue
Boo hoo
Since you left me.
poem by Kevin East
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Little Less Conversation
A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation aint satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby
Baby close your eyes and listen to the music
Drifting through a summer breeze
Its a groovy night and I can show you how to use it
Come along with me and put your mind at ease
A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation aint satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby
Come on baby Im tired of talking
Grab your coat and lets start walking
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Dont procrastinate, dont articulate
Girl its getting late, gettin upset waitin around
A little less conversation, a little more action please
All this aggravation aint satisfactioning me
A little more bite and a little less bark
A little less fight and a little more spark
Close your mouth and open up your heart and baby satisfy me
Satisfy me baby
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Your First Baby
THE BABIES FIRST YEAR
YOUR baby's first heart beat.
YOUR baby's first kick.
YOUR baby's first slap.
YOUR baby's first cry.
YOUR baby's first drink from Mommy's breast.
YOUR baby's first diaper change.
YOUR baby's first visitors at home.
YOUR baby's first crib.
YOUR baby's first blanket.
YOUR baby's first sounds.
YOUR baby's first laugh.
YOUR baby's first kiss.
YOUR baby's first word.
YOUR baby's first step.
YOUR baby's first weekend with gma.
YOUR baby's first birthday party.
YOUR baby's first year
poem by Talema Lawrence
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Be My Baby
Uh,
Ow!
Yeah.
The night we met I knew I needed you so,
And if I had the chance I never let you go.
So wont you say you love me,
Ill make you so proud of me,
Well make them turn their heads evry place we go.
So wont you, please, (be my, be my baby)
Be my little baby, (my one and only, baby)
Say youll be my darling, (be my, be my baby)
Be my baby now, (my one and only, baby)
Oh, oh, oh.
Come on, baby,
Do it nice!
Slow!
Thats right!
Ow!
So knocking, its...
Its damned!
Ow!
Hey!
Oh!
Its too much!
I dont know.
Ow!
Yeah!
Ow!
Uh!
Oh, now, baby, baby, baby.
And since the day I saw you,
You know I was waiting for you,
And you know Im gonna adore you till eternity, yeh!
Oh, baby, (be my, be my baby)
Bay, baby, baby, baby, babe, (my one and only, baby)
Come on, baby, be mine, (be my, be my baby)
Oh, please, please, my only one. (my one and only, baby)
Wont you please, (be my, be my baby)
Oh yeah, (my one and only, baby)
Be my baby, (be my, be my baby)
I mean it, darling! (my one and only, baby)
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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