You need that guy like a giraffe needs strep throat.
quote by Ann Landers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
The Goat Crossing The Moat
The Capote is afloat beside the goat
Crossing the moat to read the note
And keep the quote in its throat
A tote does not vote that is what you wrote
So back to the rote eating the oat and
Smash the mote hidden on the boat
The seas bloat so you devote a bank note
For the seed coat of a wild oat
& scare quote for your strep throat
As Joseph's coat dote the eight note.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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This Here Giraffe
I saw this bird fly off his head
Without him ever lookin up
This here giraffe was never caught complainin
He wouldnt take skin off yer back.
And ya hear yerself
Thinkin
And ya hear yerself
Thinking
This here giraffe, laughed
I saw this man stick out his neck
With his binoculars intact
He couldnt tell the right side of his brain
Had just lost all interest in his left...
And ya feel yourself shrinkin
And ya feel yourself shrinkin
This here giraffe, laughed
This here giraffe, laughed
And ya hear yourself
And ya hear yourself
song performed by by Flaming Lips
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Calf and the Giraffe
Once upon a time was born a gentle brown-eyed calf
Who lived near a zoo and met a tall, wise giraffe.
The calf said to the tall, wise giraffe, “Come and run with me.”
The giraffe replied, “I can’t since I live within these walls you see.”
The confused brown-eyed calf asked, “Can’t they let you out.”
The giraffe smiled and asked, “Do you know what a zoo’s about? ”
The gentle calf said, “You did something wrong so you’re in jail.”
The wise giraffe laughed and explained that his was a happy tale.
He said, “For everyone who visits the zoo there’s so much joy I give.
As one day you’ll love your babies and teach them how to live.
So let’s enjoy every day and look forward to what’s in store.
Then both of us can give to others since that’s what life is for.”
poem by Gregory Huyette
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I have a toy giraffe on my bed. I've got photographs over my desk as well as a mask of a giraffe in my kitchen. I am totally hooked.
quote by Joanna Lumley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm a giraffe. I even walk like a giraffe with a long neck and legs. It's a pretty dumb animal, mind you.
quote by Sophia Loren
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe, and someone said I was a snake, I'd think, no, actually I'm a giraffe.
quote by Richard Gere
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If Giraffe loves Zebra?
In the Zoo
I relaxed a while
Leaving all the burdens.
'Hey! Master please write something for me.'
Giraffe begged.
'If I have a long neck like you
I could have easily peep into my next door spinster's room.'
'It's about you Sir and nothing for me.'
Then I wrote again.
'If Giraffe mates with Zebra
How nice will be the offspring? '
'Thank you very much Sir!
From tomorrow onwards
I try to catch the Zebra in the adjoining cage.
He must be happy, believe me Sir
Still I am a Virgin.'
'It's not a miracle being in the Zoo
But really it's hard to survive
If you're in the jungle.'
Like a girl she smiled shyly.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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And How Did He Put The Elephant In The Refrigerator?
simple enough
he first
finds the door
of the ref
opens it
lifts
the elephant
using his hands
and then
puts the elephant
inside the ref
and then
he finally
closes the
door
that is how
he does it
and everyone
who hears
him says
he is one
mighty right
the next
problem is
how to put
the giraffe
in the ref
and he says
it is very simple
open the ref
take the
elephant out
and then
put the giraffe
and do not
forget
to close the door of the
ref
is it not
that simple?
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Words Get Stuck In My Throat
If I had a tiny microphone
Hidden in my heart
It would amplify my love for you
But the words get stuck in my throat
The words get stuck in my throat
If I had a little viewmaster
Stuck inside my brain
It would snap the pictures all of you.
But the words get stuck in my throat
The words get stuck in my throat
If I had a telegraph
Tapping in my brain
It would tap the morse code I love you.
But the words get stuck in my throat
The words get stuck in my throat
Hey, hey, hey
Whatd I say?
Everyday!
The words get stuck in my throat (repeating)
song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Words Get Stuck In My Throat (live)
If i had a tiny microphone
Hidden in my heart
It would amplify my love for you
But the words get stuck in my throat
The words get stuck in my throat
If i had a little viewmaster
Stuck inside my brain
It would snap the pictures all of you.
But the words get stuck in my throat
The words get stuck in my throat
If i had a telegraph
Tapping in my brain
It would tap the morse code "i love you."
But the words get stuck in my throat
The words get stuck in my throat
Hey, hey, hey
What'd i say?
Everyday!
The words get stuck in my throat (repeating)
song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Silly Poem
They flew on a moonbeam
and danced on the stars
the giraffe looked at the kangaroo
and said how do you do.
Old Mother Hubbard got into the act
when she went to the cupboard and found it bare.
“Sorry guys there is no food in there.”
Tom Thumb jumped up, said I’ll play mum,
and with that pulled out a plum.
They sat round the table
the giraffe, the kangaroo,
and the giraffe asked what you eating roo?
Caterpillar stew because wise guy
I hate to see butter fly.
Pinocchio stuck is nose in
like he likes to do
when suddenly it grew and grew.
A passing elephant looked in,
“Hey Pinocchio can you play a tune on that like I can do? ” Therefore, the nonsense band was born.
They played all night causing a bit of a storm,
the candles for miles all went plop,
and I’m glad to say this is nearly your lot.
All those who read this I hope get a smile
or at least a kick in the pants.
Because watch behind you there is an angry mule.
You’ve been framed
That’s the name of the game.
Now there is just one last thing to say
I’m removing the vote counter before I go away
because I know that some jolly prankster
will read this silly thing
and only leave me a one.
Now that’s all folks
as the loony toons might say
just enjoy yourself for the rest of the day.
& September 2009
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Meka had a toy camera
Meka had a toy camera,
presented by her Mummy Manjula
for her birthday;
While she was viewing through it,
She could see a few animals in it;
She showed it to me with enthusiasm,
I saw it with hilarious amusement;
While I see inside for the first time,
I asked her like a quiz whether she can guess;
I am seeing an animal with four letters,
Can you tell me what I see here?
She said, 'Is it a squirrel?
No, squirrel has eight letters,
tell me the animal you see real;
Is it tiger? but it has five letters,
Is it giraffe? but it has seven letters,
Tell me grandpa, what do you see?
I said, 'I can see a bear'!
Now she responded shrewdly,
If you click the camera several time,
You see a different animal every-time,
Squirrel, Tiger, Giraffe and Bear.
poem by V.K. Kanniappan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Jungle Telegraph
Mama had a epidural
Hoping I would be a girl.
The night was black, the sky was blue
The darker clouds are showing noon
I heard screaming, the doctor shouts,
Didnt give in,
I came out.
And here I am.
I found my way, down the street.
Chicken hawks, filled with meat.
The man was big, the gun was loaded,
She had cash, but never showed it,
I heard screamin, bleeding throat
And baby I got on that boat.
And here I am.
Now Im up here in the trees
Shaking off the bugs and fleas
The days are long, the sun is beatin
He says (it says) I dont die with you
Send me some lovin
Send me some lovin
Send it now
Send it by giraffe, on jungle telegraph
song performed by by Eels
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Each Others Throat
We are supposed to be sisters and brothers
But all we do is constantly dog one another
We are supposed to act as each others cover
But we keep at each others throat
Each others throat
Each others throat
Yo, it aint no joke
Were at each others throat -aowl, aowl
We are supposed to spread love and not evil
But weve been acting more like heathens than people
Treating our fellow-man far worse than illegal
Cause we keep at each others throat
Each others throat
Each others throat
Yo, it aint no joke
Were at each others throat -aowl, aowl
Ut oh, 11 oclock pm and heres the news
Another fatality caused by a family feud
Charged, tried, sentenced by the jury of a brothers gun
Made sisters fiancees wedding never to be sung
He didnt like the way he treated the girl
So the boy played god, pow, he ended his world
He made a plea for temporary insanity
But left his sister insane permanently
This aint new, this stuff happens everyday
Somebody doesnt like someone so they blow them away
Too fast for reason, too quick to negotiate
Regret and sorrow happens a split second too late
Jealousy for power, greed for possession
Selfishness so you give someone a faked out impression
Speaking of which Im truly not impressed
So if seeing is believin-i dont wanna see the mess
Heartless are we on the straight with no chaser
As if for negativity we got the vapors
Know as I love me so I do love my neighbor
Cause we are too busy at each others throat
Each others throat
Each others throat
Yo, it aint no joke
Were at each others throat -aowl, aowl
(repeat)
song performed by by Stevie Wonder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gonzo leaps like a giraffe and grabs it.
quote by Jerry Coleman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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God gave the giraffe a long neck so that He would not have to bend the palm tree.
God is really only another artist. He invented the giraffe, the elephantand the cat. He has no real style, He just goes on trying other things.
quote by Pablo Picasso
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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God is really only another artist, he made the elephat, giraffe and cat. He has no real style but keeps trying new ideas.
quote by Pablo Picasso
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Resignation
I'd hate to be centipede (of legs I've only two),
For if new trousers I should need (as oftentimes I do),
The bill would come to such a lot 'twould tax an Astorbilt,
Or else I'd have to turn a Scot and caper in a kilt.
I'm jolly glad I haven't got a neck like a giraffe.
I'd want to tie it in a knot and shorten it by half.
or, as I wear my collars high, how laundry men would gloat!
And what a lot of beer I'd buy to lubricate my throat!
I'd hate to be a goldfish, snooping round a crystal globe,
A naughty little bold fish, that distains chemise of robe.
The public stare I couldn't bear, if naked as a stone,
And when my toilet I prepare, I'd rather be alone.
I'd hate to be an animal, an insect or a fish.
To be the least like bird or beast I've not the slightest wish.
It's best I find to be resigned, and stick to Nature's plan:
Content am I to live and die, just - Ordinary MAN.
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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