I was never a Certified Public Accountant. I just had a degree in accounting. It would require passing a test, which I would not have been able to do.
quote by Bob Newhart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Traffic Jam: The Trap Of Traffic Light
It's not only test your luck, but also test your patience
It's not only test your guts, but also test your instinct
It's not only test your sanity, but also test your obedience to law
It's not only test your ethics, but also test your fidelity
It's not only test your sight, but also test your reflex
It's not only test your estimation of time, but also test your street knowledge
It's not only test your ego, but also test your kindness
It's not only test your control, but also test your awareness
It's not only test your attitude, but also test your responsibility
It's not only test your priority, but also test your humanity
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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The public! the public! how many fools does it require to make the public?
quote by Thomas Chalmers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I probably wouldn't make a good accountant. I don't even understand what my accountant tells me. But the character is a sort of exaggerated version of me, he's a little more frightened than I am, everything seems so much bigger to him than it does to me.
quote by Matthew Broderick
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I have no use for bodyguards, but I have very specific use for two highly trained certified public accountants.
quote by Elvis Presley
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While I have served in public office for 30 years, my professional training is as a pharmacist, not a lawyer or an accountant.
quote by George Ryan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Put you energy into music. If it fails you, you can become an accountant or a dentist. And then if you become a dentist or an accountant, it's too late to become a musician afterwards.
quote by Peter Tork
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Never call an accountant a credit to his profession; a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
quote by Charles J.C. Lyall
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Upon Death
They are passing their tests so seriously,
The graves house the dead who talk
Due to their success, and their successes to come.
Passing the test is like graduating,
And this means facts are held by the head.
Then one learns all that one exerts,
Once the tossing and turning in the grave
Is complete.
This is the final test, how does one respond?
The physical suffering declines,
A word or two is passed and the soul ejects.
My angelic help is tremendous,
My own guardians will respond.
poem by Naveed Akram
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Public Animal #9
Me and G.B.
We ain't never gonna confess
We cheated at the math test
We carved some dirty words in our desk
Well now it's time for recess
Old man waitin by the monkey bars
Tradin all his ball cards
And they promised him a gold star
And they told him he could go far
Hey Mr. Bluelegs
Where are you takin me?
I'm like a lifer
In the state penitentiary
If I keep my nose clean
I won't get my eyes shined
But I'm proud to be
Public Animal Number Nine
License plates are runnin
Out of my ears
I'd give a month of cigarettes
For just a couple of lousy beers
Or even a bottle of
Real cheap wi-hine
But that's the price you pay to be
Public Animal Number Nine, Number Nine
Hey Mrs. Cranston
Where are you takin me?
I feel like a lifer
In the state penitentiary
She wanted an Einstein
But she got a Frankenstein
Yeah, I'm proud to be
Public Animal Number Niiiirrrrrgh
Public Animal Number Nine
Public Animal Number Nine
Public Animal Number Nine Nine
Public Animal Number Nine Number Nine
Number Nine Number Nine
Number, Number Nine Animal Number Nine
Public Animal Number Nine Nine
Public Animal Numbergh Niiiirrrrrgh
Public Animal Nurrrgh Nirrrgh
Errrrrrrrrrrrgh
Public Animal Number Ni-yine
Public Animal Number Ni-yine
Public Animal Number Number Nine Nine
Public Animal Naaaaaaaagh
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Degree
What value
a degree?
A degree is only
worth
what the market
can pay.
Paid from gross national product
a country produces.*
All education is down time... though
a necessary economic luxury.
There is also
credential inflation.**
Redundant technologies
new research techniques
undermining this value.
This is a degrees
financial value.
A degree
is a recognized
level of ignorance.
A measured graded
accounting of markers;
approved component knowledge,
research skills and diction.
Graduate, Honours, Masters, Ph.d.,
in a limited specialized area.
A degree may also
have an egotistical value
be necessary for a career
or needed self esteem.
This is a degrees
intrinsic value.***
If a degree is
necessary to you
it is worth something
essentially valuable
if not a degree
is nothing
but wasted
unfocused effort.
The value of a degree
unspecified unidentified
an approximate amount
expressing time in relation
to specific numbers
qualities opportunities
a phenomenon key
awaiting recipient action.
* In the 1990’s in any developed country at least one third of the population was involved in education annually. This percentage included all students from preschool through to universities, all apprenticeships and technological training or up skilling, research, development and associated dependent industries, and all personal teaching these skills. The cost of all this on going education had to be paid for from the gross national product a country produced.
** This equates to more degrees equals inferior jobs and salaries. An example is the United Kingdom in the 1970’s when 4% of the population obtained a degree compared to the 1990’s when 30% did.
*** Inherent; belonging to the nature of a thing; essential; real.
poem by Terence George Craddock
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From all evil against which the law bars you, you should be barred, at an infinite distance, by honour, by conscience, and nobility. Does the law require patriotism, philanthropy, self-abnegation, public service, purity of purpose, devotion to the needs of others who have been placed in the world below you? The law is a great thing, — because men are poor and weak, and bad. And it is great, because where it exists in its strength, no tyrant can be above it. But between you and me there should be no mention of law as the guide of conduct. Speak to me of honour, of duty, and of nobility; and tell me what they require of you.
quote by Anthony Trollope
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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A Passing Feeling
Everything is gone but the echo of the burst of a shell
And I'm stuck here (I'm) waiting for a passing feeling
In the city I built up and blew to hell
I'm stuck here (I'm) waiting for a passing feeling
Still I send all the time
My request for relief
Down the dead power line
Though I'm beyond belief
In the help I require
Just to exist at all
Took a long time to stand
Took an hour to fall.
I'm stuck here (I'm) waiting for a passing feeling
Stuck here waiting for a passing feeling
Still I send all the time
My request for relief
Down the dead power line
Though I'm beyond belief
In the help I require
Just to exist at all
Took a long time to stand
Took an hour to fall
song performed by by Elliott Smith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The present times require the vigor and the activity of the prime of life; but I feel the increasing infirmities of age to such a degree, that I am conscious I cannot serve you to advantage.
quote by Christopher Gadsden
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The degree of leverage now being reversed is staggering, and the underlying global imbalances - notably between the savers and the spenders - will require long and painful adjustment.
quote by Vince Cable
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Home base is the support system where we have a culinary team, my own writers because of the shows and the books and stuff, we have a culinary team of about six people. Marketing, public relations, accounting and all that sort of stuff.
quote by Emeril Lagasse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Certified, Satisfied!
Certified,
Unclean!
Leviticus Chapter 11;
By the Creator.
Certified, satisfied!
Leviticus Chapter 11;
Unclean animals,
By the Creator;
So, follow the Laws.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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To impose taxes when the public exigencies require them is an obligation of the most sacred character, especially with a free people.
quote by James Monroe
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Passing Through
I saw jesus on the cross on a hill called calvary
Do you hate mankind for what they done to you?
He said, talk of love not hate, things to do - its getting late.
Ive so little time and Im only passing through.
Passing through, passing through.
Sometimes happy, sometimes blue,
Glad that I ran into you.
Tell the people that you saw me passing through.
I saw adam leave the garden with an apple in his hand,
I said now youre out, what are you going to do?
Plant some crops and pray for rain, maybe raise a little cane.
Im an orphan now, and Im only passing through.
Passing through, passing through ...
I was with washington at valley ford, shivering in the snow.
I said, how come the men here suffer like they do?
Men will suffer, men will fight, even die for what is right
Even though they know theyre only passing through
Passing through, passing through ...
I was with franklin roosevelts side on the night before he died.
He said, one world must come out of world war two (ah, the fool)
Yankee, russian, white or tan, he said, a man is still a man.
Were all on one road, and were only passing through.
Passing through, passing through ...
(lets do it one more time)
Passing through, passing through ...
song performed by by Leonard Cohen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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But first I want to get my master's degree at Columbia's School of International Public Affairs.
quote by Christy Romano
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Second, when comparing private school and public school test scores, it's like apples and oranges. Public schools have to take everyone, but private schools can be selective. It's not accurate or fair to compare the job they do.
quote by Dennis Moore
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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