Hats divide generally into three classes: offensive hats, defensive hats, and shrapnel.
quote by Katharine Whitehorn

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hats Off to the Woman, Who…
Hats off to the woman, who bears children
With labor-pains, completing family;
Hats off to the woman, who rears the young,
Making her babies suckle at her breasts;
Hats off to the woman, who tends to both
Husband, children, others with care and love;
Hats off to the woman, who does all things
For others’ sake, selflessly all her life;
Hats off to the woman, who keeps the home,
And raises her children in forbearance;
Hats off to the woman, who labors hard
And burns the midnight-oil for family;
Hats off to the woman, who contributes
Fiscally by working in a work-place;
Hats off to the woman, who patiently
Toils, to keep the harmony of her home;
Hats of to the woman, who can also
Extend tender, loving care to old-aged;
Hats off to the woman, who has God first
In life, and sacrifices for the rest;
Hats off to the woman, who can smile
To all, despite her grief, anguish and strife in heart;
Hats off to the woman, who turns the home
A virtual Paradise on earth all life;
Hats off to the woman, who loves to slog,
And toils to raise her family with love;
Hats off to the woman, who’s an angel
To all, by being a good example.
Copyright by Dr John Celes 3-21-2008
poem by John Celes

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Oh, The Hats At Ascot
Oh, the hats at Ascot,
What a wonderful show on view,
Ladies parading,
Horses invading
The Course, for a race or two.
Oh, the hats at Ascot,
With all their bows and frills,
The fantastic styles,
And the Ladies smiles,
Will always give one such thrills.
Oh, the hats at Ascot,
An event that is Oh so true,
Just to outshine,
And look divine,
Is what the Ladies do.
Oh, the hats at Ascot,
Are way out and so very fine,
And with the Queen,
One must be seen,
As one watches the select equine.
Oh, the hats at Ascot,
Seen up and down the Course,
A glass of champers,
And gourmet hampers,
And a win on your favourite horse.
Oh, the hats at Ascot,
Which the Ladies heads do grace,
The Gents black toppers,
And the Champion Show stoppers,
Are all at this fashionable place.
poem by Ernestine Northover

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Hats
Amy grant/chris eaton
Copyright 1991 age to age music, inc. (ascap)/clouseau music ltd. (prs), adm. by reunion music group, inc.
The sun comes up
The breakfast show
Cant you see me running
Its crazy dont you know?
(dont you know? dont you know? )
The moon is high
Im working through the night
Will somebody tell me
Where do all the hours go?
(I dont know.)
Well it dont stop
No, its never gonna stop
Why do I have to wear so many things on my head?
Hats!
One day Im a mother
One day Im a lover
What am I supposed to do?
Hats!
Working for a livin
(working for a livin)
All because Im driven
(all because Im driven)
To be the very best for you.
The water is hot
(so hot)
The phone dont stop
(hello, good-bye)
So how do I manage
To hold on to my sanity
(I dont know, baby, I dont know)
The red dress on
Time for having fun
(time for having fun)
But can I really be
The girl you see in me?
The spirit is willing
But the flesh is weak
Why do I have to wear so many things on my head?
Hats!
One day Im a mother
(one day Im a mother)
One day Im a lover
(one day Im a lover)
What am I supposed to do?
Hats!
Working for a livin
(working for a livin)
All because Im driven
(all because Im driven)
To be the very best for you.
Hats!
One day Im a mother
(one day Im a mother)
One day Im a lover
(one day Im a lover)
What am I supposed to do?
Hats!
Working for a livin
All because Im driven
To be the very best for you.
This may be a dream come true
This may be poetry in motion
This may be a dream come true
But when it all come down
Its an awful lot to do.
Hats!
It dont stop
Why do I have to wear thing on my head?
Hats!
One day Im a mother
(one day Im a mother)
One day Im a lover
(one day Im a lover)
What am I supposed to do?
Hats!
Working for a livin
(working for a livin)
All because Im driven
(all because Im driven)
To be the very best for you.
Hats!
One day Im a mother
(one day Im a mother)
One day Im a lover
(one day Im a lover)
What am I supposed to do?
Hats!
Working for a livin
All because Im driven
To be the very best,
Very best (nah, nah, nah).
Hats!
What am I supposed to do?
Hats!
Working for a livin
(working for a livin)
All because Im driven
(all because Im driven)
To be the very best
It dont stop
No, its never gonna stop
Why do I have to wear
Why to I have to wear
Hats!
One day Im a mother
One day Im a lover
What am I supposed to do?
Hats!
Working for a livin
All because Im driven
To be the very best for you.
song performed by by Amy Grant

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Blue Beret
Life is sometimes shorter than you think
So take yourself a hike from the kitchen sink
Me, I like to roam
Wasnt built in a day
And night throws the stars in our way
Meanwhile on planet earth
Some people are dying for the right to say
Some people are dying cause the other people busy blowing them away
Well, were all dying so we better have a ton of fun along the way
I say hats off, get your hats off, take your hats off, get your hats off
For the blue beret
Blue beret, blue beret
The wind has blown it off his head
And sent it spinning straight to nowhere
Nowhere to get ahead in this life
Life is sometimes longer than you need
Especially if its thrown away on hate and greed
Well, me I like to think while the other fish swim
But sharks made a meal out of him
Meanwhile on bone dry land
Some people are dying for the right to say
Some people just want the right to say
Some people are dying cause the other people busy blowing them away
Some people are merely blown away
Well, were all dying so we better have a ton of fun along the way
I say hats off, take your hats off, get your hats off, take your hats off
To the blue beret
Blue beret, blue beret
The wind has blown it off his head
And sent it spinning straight to nowhere
Nowhere to get ahead in this life
So just love your dog and dont kick your wife
Put down that knife, watch out the windows,
And blow your hat away
song performed by by Xtc

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Blue Beret
Life is sometimes shorter than you think
So take yourself a hike from the kitchen sink
Me, I like to roam
Wasnt built in a day
And night throws the stars in our way
Meanwhile on planet earth
Some people are dying for the right to say
Some people are dying cause the other people busy blowing them away
Well, were all dying so we better have a ton of fun along the way
I say hats off, get your hats off, take your hats off, get your hats off
For the blue beret
Blue beret, blue beret
The wind has blown it off his head
And sent it spinning straight to nowhere
Nowhere to get ahead in this life
Life is sometimes longer than you need
Especially if its thrown away on hate and greed
Well, me I like to think while the other fish swim
But sharks made a meal out of him
Meanwhile on bone dry land
Some people are dying for the right to say
Some people just want the right to say
Some people are dying cause the other people busy blowing them away
Some people are merely blown away
Well, were all dying so we better have a ton of fun along the way
I say hats off, take your hats off, get your hats off, take your hats off
To the blue beret
Blue beret, blue beret
The wind has blown it off his head
And sent it spinning straight to nowhere
Nowhere to get ahead in this life
So just love your dog and dont kick your wife
Put down that knife, watch out the windows,
And blow your hat away
song performed by by Xtc

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hats Off
When I was born, the doc he held me by my ankles
Smacked my red behind.
They hosed me down, wrapped me like a bean burrito
Then marked the date and time.
Hats off, to the ones that string the beads together
And keep the ducks in line.
Hats off to all the ones that stood before me
And taught a fool to rhyme.
At thirteen, I made myself a motion picture
Out of lumps of clay.
At fourteen, I pulled some weeds and bought a four string
Taught myself to play.
At seventeen, Id get naked with a beauty queen
At the hot tub zone.
At nineteen, she was livin hard and snortin drugs
That decayed her bones.
Hats off to the ones that put it all together
And keep their ducks in line.
Hats off to all the ones that erred before me
And taught me how to survive.
song performed by by Primus

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Brothels Freshly Painted
Pins like needles used,
Will stick and prick.
As they sit in hats
Worn by witches
To keep them holding on...
To hair bouffanted and thick!
Used they were to keep men in line.
In those times when sex...
Was not considered done
To get another one sick,
Of it!
And when men had 'itches'
Approached women wearing hats.
They made sure they had manners.
Wishing to get their pricks exclusively...
Inside.
With or without hats.
That's how it was done...
In brothels freshly painted!
Not tainted like the trash today,
Found anytime on Hollywood and Vine!
And...
After passing up renovated garbage,
On 42nd and 8th Avenue!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Govt. Health Warning.
'I'm terrified of cheese, ' he said,
'And rather scared of hats, '
'The cheese will make me sneeze,
You see, and hats just drive me bats! '
The doctor gave a little smile,
'I've news for you! ' he said,
'Tonight you'll eat some Irish stew,
Tomorrow you'll be dead! '
'Beware of gorgonzola!
Beware of Danish Blue!
Beware of wearing hats at all!
Beware of Irish stew! '
poem by John Thorkild Ellison

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The Hats
Here the hats that hasten the act
Climb on heads for the wearing.
To be quick the attire is solved
For thinkers have hats too sound.
To be round and sensible is fitting
But when fondness is attached
The fortune of a man with more thinking
To do is that of the old hat.
poem by Naveed Akram

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Hats Off
The stage is set tonight down in Nashville
It's been a long, hard ride into town
And thanks to some cowboys and heros
My chance to sing has finally come around
The first song I ever sang was haggard
Momma sang to me I saw the Light
I'd turn my radio up louder
To hear Johnny Cash walk the line
Waylon sang a song about Texas
Willie's "Blue Eyes Crying In The Rain"
Bocephus sings a song about dixie.
Lefty taught us all how to sing.
Hats off to hard riding cowboys
Riding some where tonight
Hats off to hard riding cowboys
Wanted, dead or alive
Charlie ran the devil out of Georgia
Skynyrd sang sweet home Alabam
The Ahlman brothers taught us how to ramble
And to Tucker boys showed us how to jam.
Hats off to hard riding cowboys
Riding some where tonight
Hats off to hard riding cowboys
Wanted, dead or alive
The stage is set tonight up in Heaven
Rebas band is there with Patsy Cline
And all around are cowboys and cowgirls
And thanks to them the music's still alive
Hats off to hard riding cowboys
Flying somewhere tonight
Hats off to hard fighting cowboys
Wanted, dead or alive
Hats off to hard riding cowboys
Flying somewhere tonight
Hats off to hard fighting cowboys
Wanted, dead or alive
song performed by by Alabama

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hats Are Heights
Hats are heights,
What trouble is in the cap of danger?
Hats must be worn like helmets,
Torn to shreds by the bullets that animals roar,
Like the lions of deadly nature, who fix their stare
On the lonely travellers, their survival is to be sought.
Lions are visions of the crown and kingdom,
How does a hat called a crown be called a kingdom?
Because the kings are great and ordinary with wisdom,
Loathing them will wisely conduct a thought,
Admiring them shall see you riches, this is more polite.
Hats have heights too secretly huge,
May I provoke sympathy?
poem by Naveed Akram

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To-Morrow
When you’re suffering hard for your sins, old man,
When you wake to trouble and sleep ill—
Oh, this is the clack of the middle class,
‘Win back the respect of the people!’
You are weak, you’re a fool, or a drunken brute
When you’re deep in trouble and sorrow;
But walk down the street in a decent suit,
And their hats will be off to-morrow! Old Chap—
And their hats will be off to-morrow!
They cant and they cackle—‘Redeem the Past!’
Who never had past worth redeeming:
Your soul seems dead, but you’ll find at last
That somewhere your soul lay dreaming.
You may stagger down-hill in a beer-stained coat,
You may loaf, you may cadge and borrow—
But walk down the street with a ten-pound note
And their hats will be off to-morrow! Old Man—
Yes, their hats will be off to-morrow!
But stick to it, man! for your old self’s sake,
Though to brood on the past is human;
Hold up for the sake of the mate who was true,
And the sake of the Other Woman.
And as for the rest, you may take off your hat
And banish all signs of sorrow;
You may take their hands, but in spite of that,
Can they win your respect to-morrow? Old Man—
Can they win your respect to-morrow?
poem by Henry Lawson

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Odd Hats, Summer Dresses
Old summer hats lie on the floor,
funeral hats, hats in hat boxes,
some still on hat stands
and one left discarded on a chair.
Her summer dresses, still fragrant
from perfumes she wore,
hang limply now, on hangers
as though they are waiting for her.
I view her dressing table, its little pots,
one for her wedding rings,
one for her broaches,
and one for her powder puff.
Her chair's empty but askew
as though she'd just gotten up.
Strange to see it like that
and look into the mirror above.
A mirror that should reflect her,
her, with her lips all pursed
waiting for their lipstick,
red or pink and then a smile.
Here's her broken watch; I hold it,
put it on my wrist
hoping its band is still
warm from her skin but it's not.
Desperate, I try to mend it,
I shake it, fiddle with it.
Somehow, if I could just make it tick,
but she's gone and the watch is broken
poem by Ruth Walters

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Professional Judgement
Hating an abhorrent man will judge him,
It is yesterday since the hats of scholars
Were donned, and worn by the scholars.
Followers of a teaching or doctrine find
A simple peace, full of joy and happiness.
They donned their caps for a final time
Since the time of celebration.
The hats of a profession were ornaments
And their professors acted wisely.
poem by Naveed Akram

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Strange Phenomena
Soon it will be the phase of the moon
When people tune in.
Every girl knows about the punctual blues,
But whos to know the power behind our moves?
A day of coincidence with the radio,
And a word that wont go away.
We know what theyre all going to say.
G arrives--funny, had a feeling he was on his way!
We raise our hats to the strange phenomena.
Soul-birds of a feather flock together.
We raise our hats to the hand a-moulding us.
Sure nuff, he has the answer,
He has the answer
He has the answer, be-duh-be-duh-be-duh-be-duh...
Om mani padme,
Om mani padme,
Om mani padme hum.*
You pick up a paper. you read a name.
You go out. it turns up again and again.
You bump into a friend you havent seen for a long time,
Then into another you only thought about last night.
You hear your sister calling for you,
But you dont know where from.
You know theres something wrong,
But you dont want to believe in a premonition.
We raise our hats to the strange phenomena.
Soul-birds of a feather flock together.
We raise our hats to the hand a-moulding us.
Sure nuff, he has the answer,
He has the answer
He has the answer, be-duh-be-duh-be-duh-be-duh...
Om mani padme,
Om mani padme,
Om mani padme hum.*
Om mani padme hum.
Om mani padme hum.
Om mani padme hum.
Om mani padme hum...
song performed by by Kate Bush

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The impact of a dollar upon the heart
The impact of a dollar upon the heart
Smiles warm red light,
Sweeping from the hearth rosily upon the white table,
With the hanging cool velvet shadows
Moving softly upon the door.
The impact of a million dollars
Is a crash of flunkeys,
And yawning emblems of Persia
Cheeked against oak, France and a sabre,
The outcry of old beauty
Whored by pimping merchants
To submission before wine and chatter.
Silly rich peasants stamp the carpets of men,
Dead men who dreamed fragrance and light
Into their woof, their lives;
The rug of an honest bear
Under the feet of a cryptic slave
Who speaks always of baubles,
Forgetting state, multitude, work, and state,
Champing and mouthing of hats,
Making ratful squeak of hats,
Hats.
poem by Stephen Crane

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Rhythm Section Want Ad
In a world we call our home theres lots of room to roam
Plenty of time to turn mistakes into rhyme
Theres a place for those who love their poetry
Its just across from the sign that says, pros only
So if you like a band with a chick singer,
Say your cup of tea is a wall of trombones
If you dig menudo, or mdc we salute you the way we know
For every one with dollar signs in his eyes
There must be hundreds who look at you as if youre some kind of
Rhythm section want ad
No others need apply to the rhythm section want ad
Ill tell you why
Hats off to the new age hairstyle made of bones
Hats off to the use of hats as megaphones
Speak softly, drive a sherman tank
Laugh hard, its a long way to the bank
Do you sing like olive oyl on purpose
You guys must be into the eurythmics
For every one with dollar signs in his eyes
There must be hundreds who look at you as if youre some kind of
Rhythm section want ad
No others need apply to the rhythm section want ad
And heres the reason why
Hats off to the new age hairstyle made of bones
Hats off to the use of hats as megaphones
Speak softly, drive a sherman tank
Laugh hard, its a long way to the bank
Do you sing like olive oyl on purpose
You guys must be into the eurythmics
For every one with dollar signs in his eyes
There must be hundreds who look at you as if youre some kind of
Rhythm section want ad
No others need apply to the rhythm section want ad
And heres the reason why
Rhythm section want ad
No others need apply to the rhythm section want ad
And heres the reason why
Why
Why
song performed by by They Might Be Giants

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Servant
A dumb servant in the hall holding on
to hats and coats,
got fed up and dropped them on the floor.
Walked down to the docks threw himself
into the water and tried swim to
the island of Madeira
A dumb servant made of wood and hollow legs
could float but not swim, picked up and sent home
to dry
A dumb servant in the hall, holding on
to hats and coats and the party goes on
and on...
poem by Oskar Hansen

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Movie Biz
Clean slate every day they
Keep you moving when
You're not bored stiff waiting
...mmm...
lighting....
I wear as many hats as
wardrobe can supply
Fine felt felonious weasel cashmere glitz
to average Joe union guy
Work boot denim crew coat
rawhide stiff
More than most actors
The hats are spectacular
Fine with me-
I prefer such
I like it like this
Medical intern hours
Every third day I take a shower
What's the feature attraction?
Roll sound, roll camera
Mark it, Frame and...
ACTION! ! !
poem by Randy Resh

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Poets, And Words
FUNNY little poets in their
funny plastic hats, they take
the pain and sorrow, put it
in a box, then writes it all
down,
the sadness goes here,
the laughter goes here,
the hope goes here, and
the tears, , over there.
FUNNY little poets in their
funny plastic hats, grabs
a hold of this silence, tells
it to settle down, and wait,
for the picture is about to
start.
THE sadness goes here,
the laughter goes here,
the hope goes here, and
the tears, over there.
poem by David Gerardino

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