Related quotes: I write for a certain...

I write for a certain sphere of readers in the United States who on average watch seven and a half hours of multichannel television per day.

quote by Jerzy Kosinski
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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On average, Australians watch more than three hours of television a day, compared with 12 minutes a day spent by the average couple talking to each other.

quote by Hugh Mackay
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Ballade Of The Average Reader

I try to touch the public taste,
For thus I earn my daily bread.
I try to write what folks will paste
In scrap books after I am dead.
By Public Craving I am led.
(I' sooth, a most despotic leader)
Yet, though I write for Tom and Ned,
I've never seen an average reader.

The Editor is good and chaste,
But says: (Above the public's head;
This is _too_ good; 'twill go to waste.
Write something commonplacer-
Ed.)
Write for the average reader, fed
By pre-digested near-food's feeder,
But though my high ideals have fled,
I've never _seen_ an average reader.

How many lines have been erased!
How many fancies have been shed!
How many failures might be traced
To this-this average-reader dread!
I've seen an average single bed;
I've seen an average garden-weeder;
I've seen an average cotton thread-
I've _never_ seen an average _reader_.

L'ENVOI

Most read of readers, if you've read
The works of any old succeeder,
You know that he, too, must have said:
'I've never seen an Average Reader.'

poem by Franklin P. Adams
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Average Guy

I aint no christian or no born again saint
I aint no cowboy or marxist d.a.
I aint no criminal or reverend cripple from the right
I am just your average guy, trying to do whats right
Im just your average guy
An average guy
I am just your average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy, Im just your average guy
Im average looking and Im average inside
Im an average lover and I live in an average place
You wouldnt know me if you met me face to face
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
I worry about money and taxes and such
I worry that my livers big and it hurts to the touch
I worry about my health and bowels
And the crime waves in the street
Im really just your average guy
Trying to stand on his own two feet
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average looks, average taste
Average height, an average waist
Average in everything I do
My temperature is 98.2
Im just your average guy
An average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average

song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Telemaniaco / Tele Maniac

Un cavernícola golpea a su amada / A caveman hits his lover
y se la lleva de los pelos a la cueva / and it takes it to him from the hair to the cave
no se preocupe no ha pasado nada / don't worry it has not passed anything
el noticiero de las nueve lo comprueba / the news report of nine o'clock checks it

Es un telemaníaco / He is a tele maniac
ama la televisión ama la televisión / He loves to watch the TV, he loves to watch the TV
ama la televisión ama la televisión / He loves to watch the TV, he loves to watch the TV

Me siento bién definitivamente / I feel so good definitively
necesitaba esa dosis de novelas / I really needed that dosis of novels
ya he llorado por cuatro horas y media / I´ve been crying for four hours and a half
ahora cambio para ver una comedia / and now I´m change to see some comedy

Los dibujitos animados son lo máximo / The cartoons are the maximum thing
me gusta verlos una y otra vez / I like to see them an and another time
luego con mis amigotes los imito / later with my pals I imitate them
y hacemos gala de nuestra inmadurez / and we make Gallic of our immaturity

Las heroínas buscando chicos malos / The heroines looking for bad boys
los chicos malos buscando diversión / the bad boys looking for amusement
los superhéroes volando por los cielos / the superheros flying for the skies
las chicas pierden sus ligas en el bronx / the girls lose their suspenders in the bronx

Cómo me aburro estudiando y trabajando / How I get bored studying and working
con mis papeles y con el profesor / with my papers and with the professor
tan solo quiero volver corriendo a casa / all I want is to return running home
para sentarme frente al televisor / to sit down in front of the television

poem by Ramiro 2 Burgos
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The United Conference of Hemispheres

How about...
The United States?

'No.
That's what we're called now! '

Oh...
You're right.
I forgot.
Well..
How about,
The United Federation of Americas?

'Hmmm...
Now that does have a ring.
With Canada, Mexico...
And the current United States.
I like the sound of it! '

Or...
How about,
The United Western Hemisphere?

'YES!
That's brilliant.
We'll have a meeting this weekend,
To discuss it!
But we must go slowly with this.
The people are already going nuts over the economy!
But I do love this idea.
We'll have the United Northern Hemisphere.
The United Eastern Hemisphere.
And the United Southern Hemisphere.

Whenever we come to meet...
We'll call ourselves,
The United Conference of Hemispheres!

Pass that by President Obama.
See if he approves before the announcement is made!
We must consolidate all nations as soon as possible.'

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Further, not only the United States, but the French, British, Germans and the United Nations all thought Hussein possessed weapons of mass destruction before the United States intervened.

quote by Jim Gerlach
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One survey that I saw that was published I think in Variety or Electronic Media within the last three weeks says that now the average hour of radio in the United States has 18 minutes of commercials.

quote by Robert McChesney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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People in the United Kingdom and outside the United States share my bemusement with the United States that America doesn't share with itself.

quote by Bill Hicks
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When you listen to Christian radio stations - and there are thousands of them now in the United States - and when you listen to Christian television networks - and there are thousands of Christian television shows across the country - they are all politically right.

quote by Tony Campolo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It appalls me that the people who decide what Americans will be watching on the tube have never been to the United States. Not the real United States.

quote by John Ratzenberger
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I've had more than 12,000 emails from the United States. It's not easy in the United States to find out the email address of a British parliamentarian.

quote by George Galloway
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Fascism is a worldwide disease. Its greatest threat to the United States will come after the war, either via Latin America or within the United States itself.

quote by Henry A. Wallace
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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But unlike European countries, America has never finished a map of the United States, only the eastern United States is covered and a few spots here and there.

quote by William Labov
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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United

United States of America!
Of your States united to form a country;
But war comes and you are divided,
And those who are ready are sent to fight the enemy.

poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Contrast the United States with any country on the face of the earth today and ask yourself whether the situation of the United States is not the best to be found.

quote by Henry Cabot Lodge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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He was a very private person, but then, you know, he belonged to the whole United States. The United States thought they owned Johnny Carson.

quote by Doc Severinsen
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What I want the Congress of the United States to do, and frankly what I would like to see the President of the United States of America do, is speak a word of support to the people of Iran.

quote by Mike Pence
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The United States government can indict you on something, and now you've got to prove your innocence. And that's not the Constitution of the United States.

quote by Leonard Peltier
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I was quite ready to accept certain restrictions on the United States. After all, there was a great dollar shortage. It was quite clear that the more prosperous Europe became, the more business there would be in the United States.

quote by W. Averell Harriman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hale had answered when the President of the United States can't go to a city of the United States and be protected, we've come to a very difficult time in our nation's history, and encouraged him to come.

quote by Lindy Boggs
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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