The test of a real comedian is whether you laugh at him before he opens his mouth.
quote by George Jean Nathan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Traffic Jam: The Trap Of Traffic Light
It's not only test your luck, but also test your patience
It's not only test your guts, but also test your instinct
It's not only test your sanity, but also test your obedience to law
It's not only test your ethics, but also test your fidelity
It's not only test your sight, but also test your reflex
It's not only test your estimation of time, but also test your street knowledge
It's not only test your ego, but also test your kindness
It's not only test your control, but also test your awareness
It's not only test your attitude, but also test your responsibility
It's not only test your priority, but also test your humanity
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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Admonitions
boys
i don't promise you nothing
but this
what you pawn
i will redeem
what you steal
i will conceal
my private silence to
your public guilt
is all i got
girls
first time a white man
opens his fly
like a good thing
we'll just laugh
laugh real loud my
black women
children
when they ask you
why is your mama so funny
say
she is a poet
she don't have no sense
poem by Lucille Clifton
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God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Laugh Clown Laugh
Laugh Clown laugh,
that's what they want me to do.
I guess I'm doing something right
because this Clown made you laugh too.
Laugh Clown laugh,
make everyone laugh real hard.
Besides, Who would it hurt?
Will anyone notice
how it has scarred?
Laugh Clown laugh,
but only for a while,
at least until you see
that the humor is in your denial.
poem by Cecelia Warner
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The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of once every fifteen seconds.
quote by Lenny Bruce
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I was with a famous comedian when a young fan walked up and asked for an autograph. The comedian blew him off. I'll never forget the look on the young boy's face. He was devastated.
quote by Louie Anderson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We are living in the machine age. For the first time in history the comedian has been compelled to supply himself with jokes and comedy material to compete with the machine. Whether he knows it or not, the comedian is on a treadmill to oblivion.
quote by Fred Allen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The violence or the vaudeville style of comedy is a technique all by itself. You get up there, and you are a comedian, and you're doing one thing. That is, you're going to make the audience laugh.
quote by Leslie Nielsen
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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I think my speeches are hilarious. I think I'm a natural comedian, but I like denying people the chance to laugh. I want to deny you the relief of the punchline.
quote by Lydia Lunch
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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TV Guide
i was a television hosting a cartoon,
on early saturday mornings, to take away your blues,
i was your comedian on those rainy afternoons,
giving you a smile in a soothing room,
you were so young with your painted dreams,
an idealistic boy, you wanted to keep them,
i watched you grow and thought 'perhaps',
you'd be the sower with the perfect hem,
i was a television hosting an empty screen,
'cause you grew older and lost time for me,
i was your comedian without a jokes,
for you to hear under you counseling yoke,
you were so young with your textbooks,
stitching useless knowledge in place of your dreams,
i watched you learn and thought 'someday',
you'd have the time to finish sowing,
i was a television hosting a commercial,
while you slept to regain energy,
i was your comedian to help you,
have a laugh and become healthy,
you were so young curled up with your dreams,
in a remedy of blankets you fell asleep,
i watched you dream of a peace that was dead,
but you reconnected it with your needle and red thread,
i was a television hosting the 10 o'clock,
when you were wise and watched the newscaster,
no comedian could entice a smile,
on that evening when they televised the disaster,
you were so young, i saw it drip from your eyes,
sympathy spilled as you calmed your wife,
i watched you pack and thought 'of course',
you'd sacrifice a loom for a country at war,
i was a television hosting a cartoon,
to take away your grandchildren's blues,
i was the comedian on that rainy afternoon,
and enjoyed your smile in that old soothing room,
you looked so young dressed in wrinkles and gray hair,
everyone else grew up, but they wished....
i watched you age backwards, and thought 'you never did',
yeah, you still dream, yeah, your still that kid,
your still that kid.
poem by Jordan Crider
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Comedian In Films
' A bundle of laughs',
the comedian seems in films.
His real tale floods tears.
poem by Rajendran Muthiah
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I'm very, very lucky and I think being a comedian really helps. I think you have a much longer span as a comedian than you do as a dramatic actress because I think there's more competition for a dramatic actress.
quote by Jennifer Coolidge
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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All 4
'tis said east and west seem to know the test
still north and south an open hungry mouth
put the whole world on an open scale test
poem by Miroslava Odalovic
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Real Man
When I was a child
I thought as a child
I spoke as a child
I didnt know better
But now Im a man
I look like a man
Im old as a man
And I should know better
Got my head in the sky
And my mind knows what it wants
But my body just drags me down
And my world is something you cant see
But its still very real to me
You can find it in the hole where I keep my soul
There it is - way down inside me
Theres a real man
Forget about my body and be a real man
I see with my heart
I hear with my heart
I feel with my heart
Sometimes it works better
And some so-called friends put me down
And they pity me for trying
Bad emotions push me around
But the vision shines on and on
It will shine when we all are gone
And Id like to add a little sparkle while Im here
Light it up - way down inside me
Theres a real man
Forget about bad feelings and be a real man
Some mens world is only hate and money
Afraid of everything and they laugh at nothing
And they only live to criticize
You can laugh at me now [ha ha ha]
But the time comes to everybody
When you must decide
When that day finally comes along
You might wish youd been a little more strong
Then youll wake up in the morning cryin
Oh my god
There it is - way down inside me
Its a real man
You got to grow up sometime
Be a real man
Suffer them slings and arrows
Be a real man
Now be a real man
Dont sell yourself for nothing
Be a real man
Dont take no crap from no one
Be a real man
Get your trip together
Be a real man
song performed by by Todd Rundgren
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Put Yer Money Where Your Mouth Is
(noel gallagher)
(vocals by liam)
Put yer money where yer mouth is
Your momma said that you were real
Put yer money where yer mouth is
Your momma said the tune was real
Ready or not
And come what may
You betcha going down for judgement day
So put yer money in yer mouth
And your hands right up on the wheel
Put yer money where yer mouth is
Your papa said that you were real
Put yer money where yer mouth is
Your paa said that you were real
Ready or not
And come what may
You betcha going down for judgement day
So put yer money in yer mouth
And your hands right up on the wheel
Put yer money where yer mouth is
Your papa said that you were real
Put yer money where yer mouth is
Your papa said that you were real
Ready or not
And come what may
You betcha going down for judgement day
So put yer money in yer mouth
And your hands right up on the wheel
Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Whhhooooooo
Put yer money where yer mouth is
Your momma said that you were real
Put yer money where yer mouth is
Your momma said that you were real
Ready or not
And come what may
You betcha going down for judgement day
So put yer money in yer mouth
And your hands right up on the wheel
Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Watch out
Hey watch out
W-w-w-w-w-w-watch out
Hey watch out
Hey
Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!
Aaaahhhhhhhhhhh!!!
song performed by by Oasis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There Is Something Inside My Mouth (2)
there is something singing inside my mouth
but i keep my mouth closed
i decide when shall the opening be
when shall i hear this little thing sing again
in the open
for now i have closed whatever is it that opens
that sings
it is time to mourn
to be silent
to die
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When the birds fly
When the birds fly
the mind opens its eye
the heart looks up to the sky
the birds fly.
The birds fly south
the ear opens its mouth
the nose sees summer
the kids they are playing out...
When the birds fly
we dream our words dont die.
Reborn with a babys cry
the birds fly leaving stars
they stay in the night,
we are the birds
we escape to the light.
poem by Daniel McCann
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Your Laughter
Take bread away from me, if you wish,
take air away, but
do not take from me your laughter.
Do not take away the rose,
the lance flower that you pluck,
the water that suddenly
bursts forth in joy,
the sudden wave
of silver born in you.
My struggle is harsh and I come back
with eyes tired
at times from having seen
the unchanging earth,
but when your laughter enters
it rises to the sky seeking me
and it opens for me all
the doors of life.
My love, in the darkest
hour your laughter
opens, and if suddenly
you see my blood staining
the stones of the street,
laugh, because your laughter
will be for my hands
like a fresh sword.
Next to the sea in the autumn,
your laughter must raise
its foamy cascade,
and in the spring, love,
I want your laughter like
the flower I was waiting for,
the blue flower, the rose
of my echoing country.
Laugh at the night,
at the day, at the moon,
laugh at the twisted
streets of the island,
laugh at this clumsy
boy who loves you,
but when I open
my eyes and close them,
when my steps go,
when my steps return,
deny me bread, air,
light, spring,
but never your laughter
for I would die.
poem by Pablo Neruda
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Fundamental of Liar Chapter XXII: Laugh
there's laugh, forced laugh
laugh, gentle rejection without word
laugh, looking sympathy with laugh
laugh but actually doesn't laugh
hiding anger, hiding pain
cheerful laugh but alone inside
why you try hard to impress people?
tired and wounded more
laughing your foolish joke
and crying life in the dark room
laugh for yourself
laugh with your heart
and you'll never regret to try an honest laugh
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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85
i wish i have a mouth that knows how to speak my love
i wish i have this kind of mouth that knows to speak
about my love
one that opens so easily and dashes with words like
you know i love you, tell me, do you love me too?
a candid mouth, like a shrew who gambles with words and
will not mind losing
a mouth who kisses your mouth without
shame and if shamed because you slap it
does not bother at all,
one who says, why hide love, why not pour love like a
strong wine to a chalice and let it warm
the glass and let the glass
be nothing but a glass
one that does not mind at all, one that loves and if not loved in
return takes the other possibilities
without regrets
or pain,
the mouth that i have is closed and will not open
afraid
i have kept the words
i love you only for you
like a worm inside my tongue,
wriggling
turning into a little butterfly
that never had the chance to see what is outside
and feel the freedom of air,
yesterday
it died and i keep it for the whole night
now, i spit it out
and my mouth closed again
eating only silence
while you just watch there
asking me
and i said there is nothing to worry
nothing at all
i just don't feel anything and there is nothing
worth saying, i look at you as you go, i hold only to your shadow
and you will never never never know,
this
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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