Comedians are really writers who don't have pens and pencils about them, but they riff.
quote by Carl Reiner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're writers who perform their own material. It's more interesting. And they're sexy because they risk more. Stand-up comedians risk more than anyone.
quote by Rachel Weisz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We The Cats (Shall Hep Ya)
(words and music by Cab Calloway and Jack Palmer)
And the time is right
And tonight's the night
Alreed-alright
Come on, old man, come on
We the cats shall hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Here's the beat to hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Well, you gotta come on like GI's
You dig the repeat with me and sigh
Put it right on the lee high
Then you can really get by, oh my
We the cats shall hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Now you're hep I'll betcha
So reap this righteous riff
Well, we the cats shall hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Here's the beat to hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Well, you gotta come on like GI's
You dig the repeat with me and sigh
Put it right on the lee high
Then you can really get by, oh my
We the cats shall hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Now you're hep I'll betcha
So reap this righteous riff
(instrumnetal break)
Well, we the cats shall hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Here's the beat to hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Well, you gotta come on like GI's
You dig the repeat with me and sigh
Put it right on the lee high
Then you can really get by, oh my
We the cats shall hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Now you're hep I'll betcha
Skibble-de-dooba
Skibble-de-boy-boy
Skibble-de-reeba
This righteous, this righteous riff
song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Writer's Drought
You've heard of a thing called writer's block and you've heard of writer's drought
But writers are never short of things on which they can write about
It's just at times their inspiration well does seem to run dry
And they cannot seem to pen a line though hard enough they try.
The writers drought it causes writers moments of self doubt
Till the words that seem locked in them eventually flow out
Through their pens to their notebooks their dry spells do not last
And on time lost out on penning words they seem to catch up fast.
Some writers in their writing drought cannot seem to feel inspired
To write even a single line they feel mentally tired
But when fresh inspiration comes to them much better stuff they do write
And feeling re-invigorated they sit and pen all night.
Most writers you will talk to of writers drought can tell
When there is no inspiration in their inspiration well
But when inspiration returns to them and their creative juices flow
They become much better writers and in self confidence grow.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Riff Raff
See it on television every day
Hear it on the radio
It ain't humid but it sure is hot
Down in Mexico
Boss man tryin' to tell me
Beginnin' of the end
Sayin' it'll bend me
Too late my friend
Riff raff
It's good for a laugh
Riff raff
Laugh yourself in half
Now I'm the kind of guy that keeps his big mouth shut
It don't bother me
Somebody kickin' me when I'm up
Leaves me in misery
I never shot nobody
Don't even carry a gun
I ain't doin' nothin' wrong
I'm just havin' fun
Riff raff
It's good for a laugh
Riff raff
Laugh yourself in half
song performed by by AC/DC from Powerage
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We The Cats
And the time is right
And tonight's the night
Alreed-alright
Come on, old man, come on
We the cats shall hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Here's the beat to hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Well, you gotta come on like gi's
You dig the repeat with me and sigh
Put it right on the lee high
Then you can really get by, oh my
We the cats shall hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Now you're hep i'll betcha
So reap this righteous riff
Well, we the cats shall hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Here's the beat to hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Well, you gotta come on like gi's
You dig the repeat with me and sigh
Put it right on the lee high
Then you can really get by, oh my
We the cats shall hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Now you're hep i'll betcha
So reap this righteous riff
Well, we the cats shall hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Here's the beat to hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Well, you gotta come on like gi's
You dig the repeat with me and sigh
Put it right on the lee high
Then you can really get by, oh my
We the cats shall hep ya
So reap this righteous riff
Now you're hep i'll betcha
Skibble-de-dooba
Skibble-de-boy-boy
Skibble-de-reeba
This righteous, this righteous riff
song performed by by Joe Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When I write a song, it's all about the riff - the riff first, then the words come later.
quote by Evan Dando
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mrs.Robinson
And here's to
CHORUS 1:
|| G | Em | G | Em |
you, Mrs Robinson Jesus loves you more than you will
| C C/B | C/A C/G | D D/C | D/B D/A |
know Wo wo wo God bless you
| G | Em | G | Em |
please, Mrs Robinson Heaven holds a place for those who
| C C/B | C/A C/G | D D/C | D/B D/A |
pray Hey hey hey Hey hey
Riff #1................ Riff #1................
| E7 | | | ||
hey
VERSE 2: (use Riff #4b instead of Riff #4a)
We'd like to know
A little bit about you
For our files.
We'd like to help you learn
To help yourself.
Look around you, all you see are
Sympathetic eyes.
Stroll around the grounds
Until you feel at home.
CHORUS 2: (as before)
And here's to you,
Mrs Robinson
Jesus loves you more than you will know
Wo wo wo
God bless you please,
Mrs Robinson,
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
Hey hey hey,
Hey hey hey.
VERSE 3: (use Riff #4b)
Hide it in a hiding place
Where no one ever goes.
Put it in you pantry with your cupcakes.
It's a little secret,
Just the Robinsons' affair.
Most of all, you've got to
Hide it from the kids.
CHORUS 3: (as before)
Coo coo ca-choo,
Mrs Robinson,
Jesus loves you more than you will know
Wo wo wo.
God bless you please,
Mrs Robinson,
Heaven holds a place for those who pray
Hey hey hey,
Hey hey hey.
VERSE 4: (use Riff #4b)
Sitting on a sofa
On a Sunday afternoon.
Going to the candidates' debate.
Laugh about it,
Shout about it,
When you've got to choose,
Every way you look at it you lose.
CHORUS 4: (as before)
Where have you gone,
Joe DiMaggio?
A nation turns its lonely eyes to you
Ooo ooo ooo.
What's that you say,
Mrs Robinson?
Joltin' Joe has left and gone away
Hey hey hey,
Hey hey hey.
song performed by by Paul Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.
quote by Denis Norden
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Halsted Street Car
Come you, cartoonists,
Hang on a strap with me here
At seven o’clock in the morning
On a Halsted street car.
Take your pencils
And draw these faces.
Try with your pencils for these crooked faces,
That pig-sticker in one corner—his mouth—
That overall factory girl—her loose cheeks.
Find for your pencils
A way to mark your memory
Of tired empty faces.
After their night’s sleep,
In the moist dawn
And cool daybreak,
Faces
Tired of wishes,
Empty of dreams.
poem by Carl Sandburg
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Caricatures
There are writers great and writers small
And writers on the spree;
And writers short and writers tall,
And bards of low degree.
There are artists small and artist great,
With lines both bold and free –
It takes a Low to illustrate
Us bards of low degree.
poem by Henry Lawson
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Most Writers
Most writers 'twould seem have moments of self doubt
But they never go short of things to write about
And to become a top writer of one a big ask
And to succeed as a writer for many seems too daunting a task.
Most writers do not write for wealth or for fame
And despite lack of success they pen on just the same
For every one hundred thousand writers perhaps one writing millionaire
Amongst the ranks of the wealthy the writers are rare.
Few writers can hope for to scale success height
For the love of writing they only do write
Few writers get published and fewer know of success
But in their writings on paper their thoughts they express.
Most writers will never know wealth and renown
And they are not even well known in their own Hometown
They never will be known beyond their home shore
They write for the love of it and little more.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Waiting For The Sun
At first flash of eden, we race down to the sea.
Standing there on freedoms shore.
Waiting for the sun (3x)
Can you feel it now that spring has come.
And its time to live in the scattered sun.
Waiting for the sun (3x, pause, again slower)
Waiting.... waiting.... waiting.... waiting.... (2x)
Waiting for you to - come along
Waiting for you to - hear my song
Waiting for you to - come along
Waiting for you to - tell me what went wrong
This is the strangest life Ive ever known.
Yeah! (riff 8x)
(repeat second verse, chorus 3x, then riff 2x, end).
song performed by by Doors
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think the special thing about Python is that it's a writers' commune. The writers are in charge. The writers decide what the material is.
They're fancy talkers about themselves, writers. If I had to give young writers advice, I would say don't listen to writers talking about writing or themselves.
quote by Lillian Hellman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Good writers borrow from other writers. Great writers steal from them outright.
quote by Aaron Sorkin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Four Main Types of Writers (personal opinion)
The Lonely Writer
Some writings tell me
This person is lonely
And is reaching out
For the touch of a friendly comment
These writers are sad, solitary,
Isolated, but good persons
And quite often very good writers
The needy juvenile writer
Some writings contain words
Or language meant to shock
And to offend.
These writers are lonely also
But in a different way.
These writers are simply saying
Like a little child
“hey! I exist! Someone better
Acknowledge me! ”
These writers can often write well
But usually don’t, can’t, or choose not to
The Spite Writer
This writer can be of either gender
But seems to be in a female majority
They’ve been spurned or rejected
Two-timed or lied to.
And they are going to vent their ire
In the most public way they can.
These writers can also be very good writers
But too often let their anger get in the way.
The Religious Writer
These writers show people passionate
And zealously devoted to singing the praises
Of the Lord and goodness and charity.
They’re probably austere, honest people
Who almost always write very well.
For the most part these writers seem
To want to spread the word and
At the same time tend to be rather singular
In the subject matter of their writings,
Rarely attempting other genres.
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Big Riff And Mando
Marty loved the sound of the stolen mandolin.
Somebody took it on a dare in the night-time.
Run up to the radio, calling out to the wind.
Now, bring it, bring it back at least an hour before flight time.
It was a souvenir, but it was a right arm missing.
Swap a woodwork rhythm for a humbucking top line.
Big Riff, rough boy, wants to be a singer in a band.
A little slow in the brain box, but he had a quick right hand.
Run left, run right -- everywhere he look --
nobody watching, no, but that was all he took last night.
Running on the power of a stolen mandolin.
Steal a little inspiration. Steal a little muscle.
Will he wake in the morning, wondering -- was it really worth it?
So make a little deal, Yeah, make a little hustle.
Ringing on the radio -- got a proposition for those English boys.
I'll make the sing-song -- you can make the background noise.
One, two, three, four -- one bar and in.
Give you back the mando, if you'll let this singer sing tonight.
Marty loved the sound of the stolen mandolin.
Big Riff took it on a dare in the night-time.
Now it's four o'clock, and we're waiting at the sound-check.
Looking for a face staring in from the sunshine.
We got two strong lawmen from the sheriff's office.
They're going to lift Big Riff before he plays the first line.
Big Riff, rough boy, wants to be a singer in a band.
Yeah, help him on the stage now, put the microphone in his hand.
Think hard. Think right -- nothing in his mind --
So Riff did a runner, but he left the mandolin behind
song performed by by Jethro Tull
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Big Riff & Mando
Marty loved the sound of the stolen mandolin.
Somebody took it on a dare in the night-time.
Run up to the radio, calling out to the wind.
Now, bring it, bring it back at least an hour before flight time.
It was a souvenir, but it was a right arm missing.
Swap a woodwork rhythm for a humbucking top line.
Big riff, rough boy, wants to be a singer in a band.
A little slow in the brain box, but he had a quick right hand.
Run left, run right --- everywhere he look ---
Nobody watching, no, but that was
All he took last night.
Running on the power of a stolen mandolin.
Steal a little inspiration. steal a little muscle.
Will he wake in the morning, wondering --- was it really worth it?
So make a little deal, yeah, make a little hustle.
Ringing on the radio --- got a proposition for those english boys.
Ill make the sing-song --- you can make the background noise.
One, two, three, four --- one bar and in.
Give you back the mando, if youll let this singer sing tonight.
Marty loved the sound of the stolen mandolin.
Big riff took it on a dare in the night-time.
Now its four oclock, and were waiting at the sound-check.
Looking for a face staring in from the sunshine.
We got two strong lawmen from the sheriffs office.
Theyre going to lift big riff before he plays the first line.
Big riff, rough boy, wants to be a singer in a band.
Yeah, help him on the stage now, put that microphone in his hand.
Think hard, think right --- nothing in his mind ---
So riff did a runner, but he left the mandolin behind.
song performed by by Jethro Tull
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Riff Raff
See it on the television every day
Hear it on the radio
It aint humid but it sure is hot
Down in mexico
The boy is trying to tell me
Near enough to the edge (beginning of the end)
Say theyve all been there
Too late my friend
Chorus:
Riff raff
Always good for a laugh (ha ha ha)
Riff raff
Go on, laugh yourself in half
(smile awhile)
Now Im the kind of guy who keeps his big mouth shut
Dont bother me
Somebody give me one arm up
Leave me in misery
Ive never shot nobody
Dont even carry a gun
I aint done nothing wrong
Im just having fun
Chorus
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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This Song
This song has nothing tricky about it
This song aint black or white and as far as I know
Dont infringe on anyones copyright, so . . .
This song well let be
This song is in e
This song is for you and . . .
This tune has nothing bright about it
This tune aint bad or good and come ever what may
My expert tells me its okay
As this song came to me
Quite unknowingly
This song could be you could be . . .
This riff aint trying to win gold medals
This riff aint hip or square
Well done or rare
May end up one more weight to bear
But this song could well be
A reason to see - that
Without you theres no point to . . . this song
song performed by by George Harrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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