He's so ugly. When you walked by him, your pants wrinkle. He made fly balls curve foul.
quote by Mickey Rivers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Got You By The Balls
Hey mister businessman
Head of the company
Are you looking for a lady
One who likes to please?
Hey mister businessman
This one likes to tease
With a special service
In french quantities
But she wont sacrifice
What you want tonight
She wont come across
Unless theres money in her hand
And shes calling all the shots
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
Hey mister businessman
High society
She can play the school girl
And spank you all you please
But she wont sacrifice
What you want tonight
She wont come across
Unless theres money in her hand
She dont go overtime
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
(kiss your balls goodbye)
Hang it left, hang it right,
Got you by the balls
Got your shorts, got your curlies
Got you - by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
Yeah, yeah
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
She got you by the balls
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golden Balls
Red Chevy truck comes passing by,
with gold balls hanging bouncing
in the sky.
Truck zooms around all cars
without a care.
Golden balls wagging
in the air.
Now I heard of a comedian
talking of these “golden balls”
on stage,
She said “Why is “gold balls” all the rage? ”
Guys real balls are ugly enough,
looking at them hanging outside
a car or a truck
makes you shiver inside,
I think I would rather look at
something else when I drive.'
Written by Christina Sunrise on April 7,2011
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Let's Sew Our Pants Together
Raise the window
Its getting hot in here
All these breathers
And all of these suckers
Shake my hand now
Pleased to meet you but
Skin is pretty
But underneath you're a monster
Are we friends now?
Am I your brother?
Can we bleed together
Are we lovers?
Let's sew our pants together
1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Let's climb right in forever
6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Then won't we all be so clever?
If we sew our pants together
Wake the next morning
One below the waist
But you want poached eggs
And I want to go to the bathroom
What do we do now?
What do we make of this?
Can my blood flow
Apart from your stitch?
Let's sew our pants together
1, 2, 3, 4, 5
Let's climb right in forever
6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Then won't we all be so clever?
If we sew our pants together
Lets set our hair on fire
Lets throw our hearts in the mire
Lets sell our eggs to any buyer
We've made a liar of desire
Lets sew our pants together
Lets sew our pants together
We've made a liar of desire
We've made a liar of desire
We've made a liar of desire
We've made a liar of desire
song performed by by Weezer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Big Balls
Im ever upper class high society
Gods gift to ballroom notoriety
I always fill my ballroom
The event is never small
The social pages say Ive got
The biggest balls of all
Chorus:
Ive got big balls
Ive got big balls
And theyre such big balls
Dirty big balls
And hes got big balls
And shes got big balls
But weve got the biggest balls of them all
And my balls are always bouncing
My ballroom always full
And everybody cums and cums again
If your name is on the guest list
No one can take you higher
Everybody says Ive got
Great balls of fire
Chorus
Some balls are held for charity
And some for fancy dress
But when theyre held for pleasure
Theyre the balls that I like best
My balls are always bouncing
To the left and to the right
Its my belief that my big balls
Should be held every night
Chorus
And Im just itching to tell you about them
Oh we had such wonderful fun
Seafood cocktail, crabs, crayfish...
Ball sucker
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When you walked in my life...
When you walked in my life
You wiped my tears
When you walked in my life
You built my heart strong
When you walked in my life
You made my life precious
When you walked in my life
You taught me meaning of love
When you walked in my life
You showed me many things
When you walked in my life
You made my love grow for you
When you walked in my life
You told me how much I mean to you
When you walked in my life
You made your caring soul inside me
When you walked in my life
You gave me memories to cherish forever
And I will there for you till my eyes close dear
poem by Ravi Sathasivam
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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AH......Wrinkle Wrinkle Little STAR
Wrinkle wrinkle little star
How far from smooth
You really are,
I've wished upon you
Many times
Your only answer
Is groovy lines,
To WRINKLE rid I've tried
Every way it seems
Avocados lemons cucumbers
An' fancy cream
No way will I ever be
A wry sly slinky fox
And masquerade
With a face of Botox,
On second thoughts
I'll obtain a creamy tan,
An' thank the lord
I still have my old man,
Who by my side will always stay
For he, s too sweet to run away,
An' here's another he has one leg
Shorter than the other!
poem by Ken e Hall
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Own Them
Are my two balls
Too big for you?
When they are exposed and admired...
Do you become ashamed
You have none to show too?
You want your friends to believe,
You wear the pants in here!
I played along with you for years...
But it is what it is,
And if I would leave...
You would be in tears.
They are loved,
And you like them there!
Hanging in front of your nose.
Just as they appear!
So why are you letting small town talk
And gossip you hear...
Make you feel these balls and not for you,
And near!
Are my two balls
Too big for you?
When they are exposed and admired...
Do you become ashamed
You have none to show too?
If you let me be the man I am
And not one just to screw...
Like your friends and neighbors
Tell you they do
Behind the backs of their spouses,
And that's a fact that's true!
It will be much better...
If you decided I own them!
They are mine,
Hanging in front of my behind!
And they are there to share with you.
Anytime you've got an hour or two!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Adolescent hormones…
I have a devil in my pants
With a three pronged lance
Look here? Look there?
Look everywhere?
The whores of Babylon
And the wenches of France
Are serving up a dance
In my pants, in my pants
In my pants,
Yet; my heart wants romance.
poem by Mark Heathcote
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Big Ball's In Cowtown (feat. Asleep At The Wheel)
George Straight & Ricky Skaggs & Asleep At The Wheel
(Big balls in cowtown, yeah.)
(Come on fiddle.. yeah... sure)
Working on the railroad, sleeping on the ground,
Eating saltine crackers, ten cents a pound.(ha)
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - well dance around.
(Ehhhh, come here ma, the hogs done got me).
--- Instrumental ---
(yea...) (mind if I sing one George)
Ill go to cowtown, Ill dance around.
Board up your windows - big balls in town.
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - well dance around.
--- Instrumental ---
Put on your new shoes, put on you gown.
Shake off them sad blues - big balls in town.
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - well dance around.
(Come on Ricky, fiddle now.)
--- Instrumental ---
Everybodys smiling, you cant find a frown. (ha)
Girls are all happy cause big balls in town. (that's right)
Chorus:
Big balls in cowtown - well all go down.
Big balls in cowtown - (yeah...a)
Big balls in town... (Haa...)
song performed by by George Strait
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Deadmans Curve
The street was desserted late friday night
We were buggin each other while we sat out the light
We both popped our clutch when the light turned green
You should have heard the wine from my screamin machine
I flew past la brea, down to crescent heights
And all the jag could see were my six tail lights
He passed me at doheny and I started to swerve
But I pulled her out and there we were at deadmans curve
Deadmans curve is no place to play
Deadmans curve
Well, the last thing I remember doc.
I started to swerve, and then I saw the jag slide into the curb
I know Ill never forget that horrible sight
I found out for myself, that everyone was right
Wont come back from deadmans curve
Deadmans curve is no place to play
Deadmans curve you best keep away
Deadmans curve I can hear them say
Wont come back from deadmans curve
song performed by by Carpenters
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Man with the Wooden Leg
There was a man lived quite near us;
He had a wooden leg and a goldfinch in a green cage.
His name was Farkey Anderson,
And he'd been in a war to get his leg.
We were very sad about him,
Because he had such a beautiful smile
And was such a big man to live in a very small house.
When he walked on the road his leg did not matter
so much;
But when he walked in his little house
It made an ugly noise.
Little Brother said his goldfinch sang the loudest of
all birds,
So that he should not hear his poor leg
And feel too sorry about it.
poem by Katherine Mansfield
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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All existing things are really one. We regard those that are beautiful and rare as valuable, and those that are ugly as foul and rotten The foul and rotten may come to be transformed into what is rare and valuable, and the rare and valuable into what is foul and rotten.
quote by Chuang Tzu
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ugly Moods
Correction!
I did not say you were ugly.
Not in a physical way.
I meant you had ugly moments.
And you seem to bring them,
With you everyday.
No one denies,
You have looks for the eyes.
And if you kept your mouth shut sometimes...
You will find me more in your presence.
But it is your attitude,
That keeps me distanced.
And right now you are not being pleasant.
This is not the 'essence' I expected.
I am honest like that.
Do you want me to lie?
I did not say you were ugly.
You do have ugly moods.
And I can get very ugly myself...
That is how I recognize
That 'thing' I despise,
In you!
I do.
And two like us sharing that ugliness,
Do not need to be in the same room to feud.
I do not have to prove,
I can get uglier than you!
Even though that would be a challenge.
When you get through being so ugly...
Without your lips hanging down,
That's when I will come back around!
Have a good day!
Right now...
That is all I wish to you to say!
And yes...
You can be,
Very disagreeable and quite ugly!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Imagine that life is a game! It involves juggling five balls: health, your soul, friends, work, love. The "work" ball is made from rubber; if you drop it, it will bounce back towards you, but all the other balls are made of glass; if you drop them, they'll break and never be the same.
unknown author
Submitted by Micheleflowerbomb
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I'm No Heroine
you think I wouldn't have him
unless I could have him by the balls
you think I just dish it out
you don't think I take it at all
you think I am stronger
you think I walk taller than the rest
you think I'm usually wearing the pants
just 'cause I rarely wear a dress
well...
when you look at me
you see my purpose
song performed by by Ani DiFranco from Imperfectly
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pants
Gonna take off my pants gonna take off my pants gonna take off my pants gonna take off my pants and your mama cant stop me and your papa cant stop me and the police cant stop me no one can st
Gonna do it right now gonna do it right now Im gonna take off my pants gonna take off my pants and your teachers cant stop me and your priests cant stop me and your firemen cant stop me and
President cant stop me will you take off my pants? will you take off my pants?
song performed by by Randy Newman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Forever Tomorrow
beautiful yet ugly
the jellyfish stings until you die
ugly animals turn adorable
beautiful peace,
turns to dreadful hell
clean is made dirty
growing up is faster then ever here
sugar drops float and swim
molecules rush through the water
ugly old gray man monsters come to pray
life is just a hope
because the ribbons are here
ugly strings filled with beautiful nets
and the puffy disgusting mushroom looking things lurk too near us
beautiful and gorgeous when combined,
but ugly, deadly and disgusting when alone
poem by Lola Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Pretty On The Inside
Slut-kiss girls wont you promise her smack
Is she pretty on the inside
Is she pretty from the back
Slut-kiss girl wont you water her back
Is she pretty on the inside
Baby pretty from the back
Slut-kiss girl well have some rot black strap
Is she ugly on the inside
Baby ugly ugly from the back
My pretty power my pretty power
My pretty power my ugly
Slut-kiss girls wont you promise her smack
Is she pretty on the inside
Is she ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly ugly
Bad boy
Rows and rows of angel hair
And ice cream pencils baby do they care
And fibre yah glass where is she powered that way
Blues and shoes but this isnt ugly
Yah where is it a marriage in a wheel
Will to calls that way
But now they only block the sun
They rain and snow on everyone so so many things
Wow hey I made it down
I I i I made it mosh in everyone acid hair
Acid stars youre getting there
Is she high that way
But now its just another show
Your living life as ready go
Its all its all a doll no a doll
Give me a shelf of a whore
Yah now my friends are ugly strange
They shake their heads man
They gave us a trap well
Well send this love as
Rearrange of who of
Baby I lie with pictures now
From riddle love and streets of gold
He says he reach of a candy heart of
I really love it I really dont know
I really dont know I really dont know
I really dont know like I used to live
Yah berry parts and I wow what was it
song performed by by Hole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Grooming makes one pleasing.
An ass is ugly, not for his nose.
He is lazy unlike the horse.
A crow is ugly, not for his black
But for his voice, unlike the koel’s.
An eagle is ugly, not for his beak,
But for his menace, unlike the parrot.
No matter how you are made,
You can make yourself lovable.
19.03.2001, Pmdi
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Walk By
ock and roll!
she walked down to the store at 8
the devil walks with her and he thinks shes great
when he looked at me i dont know wat i saw
i think hes trying to make me his son in law
when she walked by
walked by
walked by
she walked on by
walked by
walked by
walked by
she walked on by
egos fly and she walks by
she caught my eye on october ninth
thats 22 days before halloween
how did i know shed be my evil queen
when she walked by
walked by
walked by
she walked on by
walked by
walked by
walked by
she walked on by
my mother warned me against girls like you
she said stay away from them son you know they arent true
all there gonna do is put you under their spell
and when your going down your going straight to hell
walk by
walk by
walk by
im gonna walk on by
walk by
walk by
walk by
im gonna walk on by
walk on by
walk on by
walk on by
walk on by
song performed by by Good Charlotte from Good Charlotte
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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