A critic is a man who knows the way but can't drive the car.
quote by Kenneth Tynan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Wicket Cricket Critic
If the cricket critics' nagging
Merits stern official gagging
Which I doubt
How would critical ascetics,
With their prosy homiletics,
Shut it out?
And the question then arises:
If more cricketing surprises,
Such as bodyline, begin to threaten cricket,
And another stunt, when sprung,
Call for clicking of the tongue,
Should a cricket critic critically click it?
When the barrackers grow lyric
In a manner most satiric
And profane,
How, one ventures still to wonder,
May the clamor be kept under?
How restrain?
For one barbaric larrik-
In can do a lot of barrack-
In', and cause a lot of worry at the wicket.
But would sportsmen be abusing
Cricket canons in refusing
To supply that cricket critic with a ticket?
As a critic analytic
Of the cricket critics' critic
I would say,
When we criticise their cricket,
Then the players have to stick it,
Come what may.
No specific soporific
May be used; for it is diffic-
Ult to strike a critic partly paralytic.
So there's nothing gained in seeking,
As I know; and I am speaking
As a critic of the cricket critic's critic.
poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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Drive-in
Ooo wah
Ooo wah
Everytime I have a date theres only one place to go
Thats to the drive in
Its such a groovy place to talk and maybe watch a show
Down at the drive in
Forget about the plot, itll do very well
But make sure you see enough so youre prepared to tell
About the drive in
(ooo wah)
I love the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
If the windows get fogged youll have to take a breath
(oooooooo waah oooo)
Down at the drive in
(wah wah ooooooo)
Or the cat dressed in white will scare you both to death
Down at the drive in
A big buttered popcorn and an extra large coke
A few chili dogs and man Im goin broke
Down at the drive in
(ooo wah)
Yeah at the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
Dont sneak your buddies in the trunk cause they might get caught
By the drive in
(wah wah wah ooooooo)
And theyd look kinda stupid gettin chased through the lot
(wah ooooooo)
Around the drive in
If you say you watch the movie youre a couple o liars
And remember only you can prevent forest fires
Down at the drive in
(ooo wah)
I love the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
Down at the drive in
(ooo wah)
I love the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
Down at the drive in
(ooo wah)
I love the drive in
(we love the drive in, we love the drive in)
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All that a critic, as critic, can give poets is the deadly encouragement that never ceases to remind them of how heavy their inheritance is.
quote by Harold Bloom
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Strict It Gets
To challenge oneself,
Isn't fun that's done.
Because,
The critic visits.
And strict it gets.
To challenge oneself,
Isn't fun that's done.
Because,
The critic visits.
And strict it gets.
Stalking as a menace,
Looking for perfection in it.
And...
The critic vists.
And strict it gets.
Stalking as a menace,
Looking for perfection in it.
And...
The critic vists.
And strict it gets.
Picking seeking detail...
To prevail,
And...
The critic visits.
And strict it gets.
Detailed...
The critic visits.
And strict it gets.
Stalking as a menace,
Looking for perfection in it.
And...
The critic vists.
And strict it gets.
To challenge oneself,
Isn't fun that's done.
Because,
The critic visits.
And strict it gets.
Detailed!
The critic visits,
And strict it gets.
Detailed!
The critic visits,
And strict it gets.
Stalking as a menace,
Looking for perfection in it.
And...
The critic vists.
And strict it gets.
Detailed!
The critic visits,
And strict it gets.
Picking seeking detail...
To prevail,
And...
The critic visits.
And strict it gets.
Detailed,
The critic visits.
And strict it gets...
Detailed!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Drive Me Wild
Ooh, look at me, I'm a Cadillac
I'm a brand new convertible child
I've never been driven baby, U're the first
Come on baby, drive me wild ... ooh
Ooh, look at me, I'm a telephone
Whatever U want, just dial
Come on honey, please, it's so easy
Do it baby, drive me wild
CHORUS:
Come on baby, do it, drive me wild
Do it baby, drive me wild
Come on baby, do it, drive me wild
Do it baby, drive me wild
Ooh, look at me, I'm a radio
Call me up, make a request
I'll do anything, just name it
When I'm bad, baby, I'm the best
CHORUS
Ooh
Ooh, look at me, I'm a baby doll
Just pick me up and I'll smile
I may be young but I'm a whole lotta fun
Come on, baby, drive me wild
CHORUS
Ooh, do it, drive me wild
Come on baby, drive me wild
Ooh, do it, drive me wild
Come on baby, drive me wild
Drive me wild, drive me wild
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ignorance is exuberance
A child, a man, a singer or a critic,
Any can listen and enjoy the music.
Child’s is the highest.
The critic’s is the lowest.
Ignorance drops defects.
25.11.2001, pakd
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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Poets and critics
The poet is a child, emotion ridden.
The critic is a teacher, a check dam.
The poet bursts to cry or weep.
The critic stands there with a whip.
23.09.2000, Palasa
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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I still think like a critic, and I still analyze films like a critic. However, it's not possible to write criticism if you're making films.
quote by Paul Schrader
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sweet
Tell it like it is
He gets up real early on his mornin' drive
Down to the office for his 9 to 5
He drives a 94' two tone economy car
Loves to tell the local bands down at the bar
That he's the critic, yeah I can hook you up
I know everybody in the business
He flunked junior high band he couldn't march in time
He tried to write a song once, but he couldn't make it rhyme
He learned 2 or 3 chords on a pawn shop guitar
He just never quite had what it took to be a star
So he's a critic I work for the gazette man
I got a real job
He did a 5 star column on a band you never heard
He did a bluegrass review without an unkind word
He thought it was time to ask his boss for a raise
His boss said I can't even tell if anybody's even readin' your page
yeah
So he thought and he thought a little more
He caught a young hot star headed into town
Then he hid behind his typewriter and gunned the boy down
Here come the letters, the emails, the he faxes
They raised him to 20 thousand dollars after taxes
He's a happy critic yeah
He's rollin' in the dough
Man I could do this forever
This is easy
They're all readin' my column
Please don't tell my mama
That I write the music column for the gazette
She still thinks, that I play piano down at the cathouse
Let's get funky with this now boys
Play it on
Come on Shannon
There's ol' Bill jumpin' in
Glenn's layin' it down
Come on Shannon
Aah My man Steve
Man my fingers are gettin' tired Ya'll gonna have to hurry
This snappin' thing wearin' me out
Theres ol Shannon guess he was on a coffee break
They're gonna love you cause they already love me
Yeah It's the critic
song performed by by Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The critic has to educate the public; the artist has to educate the critic.
quote by Oscar Wilde
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Taxi Suite (excerpt: 1. After Anacreon)
When I drive cab
I am moved by strange whistles and wear a hat
When I drive cab
I am the hunter. My prey leaps out from where it
hid, beguiling me with gestures
When I drive cab
all may command me, yet I am in command of all who do
When I drive cab
I am guided by voices descending from the naked air
When I drive cab
A revelation of movement comes to me. They wake now.
Now they want to work or look around. Now they want
drunkenness and heavy food. Now they contrive to love.
When I drive cab
I bring the sailor home from the sea. In the back of
my car he fingers the pelt of his maiden
When I drive cab
I watch for stragglers in the urban order of things.
When I drive cab
I end the only lit and waitful things in miles of
darkened houses
Take The Critic
Take the critic and change yourself!
Take the critic and,
Change from negative to positive;
For, you always need a positive character in life.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Dont Drive Drunk
He and his wife have had problems
That hes played off like nothings wrong
til he comes home from work early
Just to find the girl is gone
Oh but he gets into the cupboard
Picks out that bottle of gin
Drinks like theres no tomorrow
And decides to take a spin
No dont drive drunk
Dont drive drunk, no
Dont drive drunk
Mothers against drunk drivers are mad
Teenager at a live party
Says, give me one for the road
But hes already so inebriated
If you lit a smoke hed explode
But bartender says, I dont think so
Young one says, I can deal
Staggering out he says, check you all later
But I really dont think he will
No dont drive drunk
Dont drive drunk, no
Dont drive drunk
Mothers against drunk drivers are mad
(repeat)
(background)
Dont drive drunk
D-d-d dont drive drunk
Dont drive drunk
Hicup
(repeat)
Boy out with girl on their first date
Gets pulled over by the law
Officer says, hey cant you drive straight
Or have you been drinking alcohol?
Boy says, man are you crazy?
Cop says, hey then walk this line
But results from the breathalizer
Proves hes charged with d.u.i.
No dont drive drunk
Dont drive drunk, no
Dont drive drunk
Mothers against drunk drivers are mad
(repeat)
(background)
Dont drive drunk
D-d-d dont drive drunk
Dont drive drunk
Hicup
(repeat)
song performed by by Stevie Wonder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Coincidence
Every critic in the town
Runs the minor poet down;
Every critic--don't you know it?
Is himself a minor poet.
poem by Robert Fuller Murray
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Drive In, Drive Out
Say, all you sisters and brothers
All matters if I divide us so
Our own political words they ponder us so...
This side, that side
Right, wrong... driving me back
Drive in drive out, Im leaving
I come back again
Im leaving...
Hell has its own place, we carry on....
Well, everyone sit inside, watch whats going on
Well, as you will drive in, and drive us apart.
Dont trust words that delight us or
Get into my heart... yeah....
Ohh ah ah leah ho... I run away, run away
Run away guy, run away guy,
Run out, run out...
You and me sister, sometimes I feel you figure it all out.
You and me sister, oh, weve got it right.
Our differences, differences, mother and in cold life,
Why must I steadfast, stand by what I think is right?
Oh drive in drive out, Im leaving
Drive in drive out, Ill come back again
Drive in drive out, Im leaving
Hell has a place for everyone, its here: alone.
Oh, the devil hes not hiding underground, hes waiting by your front door
Well, tv men take you away, rock up your world
Too many wont leave you alone, drive you alone
Man, when Im going back again, light in some peace....yeah...
song performed by by Dave Matthews Band
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A good drama critic is one who perceives what is happening in the theatre of his time. A great drama critic also perceives what is not happening.
quote by Kenneth Tynan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Drive You Mild
And if I ever drive you mild, and suffering this open kiss
And Im barely juvenile
When everyone is outrageous
And I alone will be sleeping through the afternoon
And if I ever drive your style, and suffering your day predicted
With no ability to rile
And every yawn is contagious
And I alone will be sleeping through the afternoon
I should drive you wild
Ever drive you mild
Ever drive you mild
Ever drive you mild
song performed by by Verve Pipe
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Performing Arts
Anyone believing,
A sustained career in the performing arts is easy...
Hasn't done it.
Or could if they tried.
There is quite a difference between being entertained,
And entertaining.
It's very similar to the art of writing.
And there is an 'art' to it.
There has to be a love connection.
An emotional committment.
A joy that is heartfelt.
And a devotion that is inseparable.
If those factors aren't there...
Becoming a critic is less involving.
Less challenging.
And requires far less talent!
Being able to use one's body and mind,
Is a gift.
Especially if one has to tolerate...
The creativity expressed coming from critic's lips.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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A critic, an imposer
A critic is a non-performer,
Who makes or mars a performer.
A critic is a non-producer,
Who makes or mars one’s products.
20.11.2002
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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The Drive Of The Life Force
Each blade of the leaves has a drive
To expose itself to the sunlight.
Each flower of the bunch has a drive
To display itself to the bees' sights.
Each twig of the branch has a drive
To project its shoot up the rest.
This drive of the life energy
Gives life existence and extension.
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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