I ask myself: Would I have been any worse off if I had stayed home or lived on a farm instead of shock treatments and medication?

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When the Kings Went to War

When the kings went to war
Went to war
Went to war
When the kings went to war
I stayed home.

Now the kings have returned
Some have died
Most alive
Now the kings have returned
And I'm alone.

Who to tell
How to say
All that happened in the days
When the kings went to war
While I stayed home.

Oh the battles
Oh the hell
Not of war but worse
The well-kept secrets crying
To be known.

Knocks the door
Comes before
Nathan knows and he will tell
How the king failed to war
When he stayed home.

When the kings went to war
Went to war
Went to war
When the kings went to war
I stayed home.

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Medication

They think medication can make everything all right again
Isn't that a big joke

They think medication will make me happy and straight
Oh isn't that funny

They think medication will solve everything
Oh they're so wrong

Medication isn't the answer to all of life's problems
Believe me

Everyday you take your medication
Hoping your little problems will fade away
Everyday you swallow that japped little pill
Hoping you pain will go away,
but will it

They think medication can 'fix' me
Oh they're so wrong

(2-21-05)

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Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment

I was feeling sick
I was loosing my mind
I heard about these treatments
From a good friend of mine
He was always happy
Smile on his face
He said he had a great time at the place.
Gimme gimme shock treatment.
Peace and love is here to stay
And now I can wake up and face the day
Happy happy happy all the time
Shock treatment

song performed by by Ramones from Leave HomeReport problemRelated quotes
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The Farm

There┬┤s a cockroach in my coffee
There┬┤s a needle in my arm
And I feel like New York City
Get me to the farm

Get me to the farm
Get me to the farm
Somebody get me to the farm

I got terminal uniqueness
I'm an egocentric man
I get caught up in my freakness
But I ain┬┤t no Peter Pan
Get me to the farm

Get me to the farm
Get me to the farm
Get me...

Buckle up straight Jack
Sanity is such a drag
Jellybeam thorazene
Trancendental jet lag

Sanity I ain┬┤t gotta
Feeling like a pinala
Sucker punch-blowin┬┤lung
Motherload-pigeonholed
I'm feeling like I'm gonna explode

I wanna be a Hare Krishna
Tattoo a dot right on my head
And the prozac is my fixer
I am the living dead

Take me to the farm
Take me to the farm
Somebody take me to the farm
Somebody take me to the farm

Take me to the farm
Take me to the farm
Somebody take me to the farm
Somebody take me to the farm

Take me to the farm
Take me to the farm
Take me to the farm...

Take me to the farm
Take me to the farm
Somebody take me to the farm

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The other thing is that if you rely solely on medication to manage depression or anxiety, for example, you have done nothing to train the mind, so that when you come off the medication, you are just as vulnerable to a relapse as though you had never taken the medication.

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A letter to a Captain

Captain Owen
Did you find your glory?
The glory you left home for
You should have stayed
Stayed safe at home

Captain Owen
I have seen your photographs
The photographs of words
The photographs of death, of war
The same war you died in

You shouldn't have gone
You should have stayed
Stayed safe at home

Captain Owen
You deserved to live
You would've lived if you never went
And yet if you never went
We would have never known

Captain Owen
Did you get a medal?
I will give you a medal
A medal of humanity
A medal of capturing what no one saw

Deaths that everyone turned away from
But you ran to save

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Animal Farm

This world is big and wild and half insane
Take me where real animals are playing
Just a dirty old shack
Where the hound dogs bark
That we called our home
I want to be back there
Among the cats and dogs
And the pigs and the goats
On animal farm
My animal home
On animal farm
My animal home
While I lay my head upon my pillow
Little girl, come play beneath my window
Though shes far from home
She is free from harm
And she need not fear
She is by my side
And the sky is wide
So let the sun shine bright
On animal farm
My animal home
On animal farm
My animal home
Girl, its a hard, hard world, if it gets you down
Dreams often fade and die in a bad, bad world
Ill take you where real animals are playing
And people are real people not just playing
Its a quiet, quiet life
By a dirty old shack
That we called our home
I want to be back there
Among the cats and dogs
And the pigs and the goats
On animal farm
My animal home
On animal farm
My animal home
On animal farm
Animal farm

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Maybe Not Today But When That Medication Fades

I use to feel so bad about it.
I use to get so mad and doubt it.
When conversations turned to age.
And who had looks they thought would stay.

I use to feel so bad about it.
I use to feel so mad and doubt it!
When conversations turned to age.
And who had looks they thought would stay!

Right now,
I'm a little proactive than the rest.

Right now,
When I walk outside I'm there to exercise...
With a steadied pacing of determined steps.

And right now chronologically,
Nobody's getting younger.
And even those stunning....
Will see a Sunset,
On their youthfulness.

And an aging seems to creep up on the 'stunning ones'.
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.
They wish to run through life as if it's nothing BUT fun.
Maybe another day they will wish they didn't...
When that medication fades.
Putting off tomorrow what today should be done!
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.

And they will someday gratefully pray.
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.

I use to feel so bad about it.
I use to get so mad and doubt it.
When conversations turned to age.
And who had looks they thought would stay.

And an aging seems to creep up on the 'stunning ones'.
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.
They wish to run through life as if it's nothing BUT fun.
To leave everything around them undone!

And they will someday gratefully pray.
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.
And they will someday rest and not have hourly played!
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.
And they will learn to disobey doesn't really pay.

To wake up in resentment with time gone and spent! !

Maybe not today but when that medication fades.
And they will learn one day to disobey doesn't pay.
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.

To wake up in resentment with time gone and spent! !
And this is a waste nobody has to witness!
But...
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.
But...
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.
But...
Maybe not today but when that medication fades.

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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Home Now

I'm hanging out with me
And you're a vacant chair
A chosen compromise
This space we rarely share

And if you lived here you'd be home now

So what you givin' up for me?
And what shall I give up for you?
Aimless expectations passing by

If you lived here you'd be home now
If you lived here you'd be home now

And to make it real
I need to have you here
I need to have you
I need to hold you

Barren wasted heart
Neglect of normalcy

And if you lived here you'd be home now
Oh if you lived here you'd be home now

And to make it real
I need to have you here
I need to have you
It can't be sincere
Unless you spend time here
I need to see you...

Supervision is what I need
Some consistence

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No, I can't write treatments, I think there's a danger with treatments. That you... you write out your first excitement and enthusiasm in a prose treatment.

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I support exemptions from the estate tax to ensure that when Maine farm owners die, their families will be able to continue to farm the land that they have protected and lived on, often for generations.

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I was making films about American society, and it is true that I never felt at home there, except perhaps when my wife and I lived on a farm in the San Fernando Valley.

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Bernadette Peters

I lost a very dear friend who lived with AIDS for about 17 years. Rejecting early treatments that were iffy, he thought he saved himself. I really miss him a lot.

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There was a farm near a river

There was a farm
near a river
where on patrol
we sometimes had to get provisions.

A commandant stayed there
and he was a real patriarch
that read out of the Bible in the evenings,
gave biltong away from a barn
and his wife
could cook the best Boer food,

but we had to cross the river
which teamed with crocodiles
and hippopotamuses
which could snap a boat in two

and when we walked to that farm
we couldn’t wait
to get there.

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Leftys Gone

A jukebox introduced us when the 60s was still young, if you got the money
Honey got my nickels one by one, I tried to imatate that song, its not right
But leftys gone, and always late breaks my heart and every song he sang i
Played the part, I heard he was sad and lived alone, its not right but leftys
Gone, he played the fair in dallas one year in the cold october rain, some
Folks stayed home in one but he sang just the same, I caught a chill before i
Got home, its not right but leftys gone, I heard he was sad and lived alone,
Its not right but leftys gone, it dont seem like he was around that long,
Its not right but leftys gone.

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Its Ours, All Ours

Notes written in blood.
The intention of a malcontented suicide.
Medication for the kids.
Regretting the one life we live.
Its ours, all ours.
We got nobody to blame but ourselves.
A little self discipline for every one of the sins.
Pray and just hope your forgiven.
Take it to the grave.
This the one life we must save.

Notes written in blood.
The intentions of a malcontented suicide.
Medication for the kids.
Regretting the one life we live.
Its ours, all ours, Point the finger,
call out a name. Its the blame game.
It never changes. action and reaction.
A contradiction with every word we speak.
Take it all in.
Accepting everything the way it is.
Stop the self mutilation and the persona that goes with it.
Pain all in measure.
It amounts to a count that has no meaning.
Every time it gets worse.
Notes written blood.
The intention of a malcontented suicide.
Medication for the kids.
Regretting the one life we live.
Its ours, all ours, all ours.
Giving up the most precious gift.
Caught in the rift. Overacting to get it right.

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Turn For The Worse

There's a fork in the road
On my way home
Temptation waits: wine, women, and song
Lord my will breaks
Where that road bends
And tonight I took a turn for the worse again
Left was home
Right was wrong
And you can bet by now she knows which road I'm on
It's a road I know like the back of my hand
But tonight I took a turn for the worse again
My old truck
Pulls a little to the right
Seems to get a lot worse on Friday night
Things are bad at home
Lord I'm sick of work
So tonight I took a turn for the worse
Left was home
Right was wrong
And you can bet by now she knows which road I'm on
It's a road I know like the back of my hand
But tonight I took a turn for the worse again
Lord tonight I took a turn for the worse again

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Why I Stayed

The way you look, how you sound, the way you move your lips.
That's why I stayed
You try and try to work it out, 'He can change'
you tell your self.
The love, the passion, How he holds me in his arms.
That's why I stayed.
I stayed for our marriage,
I stayed for our Love,
I stayed; cause I wanted too.
Hard times came and go,
But what we have is eternal.
I stayed, I stayed, I stayed cause I wanted to.
It worked, you've changed, your happier.
I love you always.
For the love, for the passion, for our marriage.
I stayed cause i wanted to.

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Had I Not Stayed With You

now i live not a moment of each tear
my eyes so dry to see me clear
for this year
it were all pain of no care
a year
of struggles but no pay
that never did come my way
a year
of plain and square
a season of gain but so unfair

for had i not stayed with you so near
the blame; all within the air
thou lived not in fear
and lived of no fear
with you not so near
the one little voice unclear
crying for me in tear
but help not i offered my dear
distanced by thoughts not with you
and you see not what fits you
but rather dwell in astray to defeat you

had i not shared with you
all that i had with you
had i not admired you
all that i treasured were you
had i not smiled with you
had i not tried with you
memories faded away with you
the roar in your voice;
left me so bare and lame
the soul to mine were not the same
and need(ed) me not with you

but, had i not stayed with you
the history of mine without you
demands a journey to my own
and you not so near
the blame; all within the air
thou lived not in fear
and lived of no fear
with you not so near
the one little voice unclear
as you faded away without care


opn11112011/0356

'had i not stayed with you'
from **patterns of life**
november 2011

onalethuso petruss ntema

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I lived a normal life for a number of years. I had kids. I lived up on a farm in Gloucestershire in rural England, and just kind of got back to reality again.

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