One day my wife went and saw the accountant and said she's pulling the plug. She said you guys are done. I said, how bad can it be? 10 grand? She said you're not even close. It came out to almost $50,000 in alcohol for two months.
quote by Zakk Wylde
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Benefit Of The Doubt
What became of us
In the night light
Turn to touch your hand
Hands dont understand
Whats a right from wrong
When I think of all the things weve done
Never made the rules
But counting one to ten was easy
Its always happening - slowly, surely happening
Could have been another way
It looked bad from the start
Wont you give me, give me benefit of the doubt
Could have been another day for pulling the plug
On my heart wont you give me, give me benefit of the doubt
Oh well here we go again acting like old friends
Its hard to compromise
When loves locked in your eyes
Always out to stay then twice as hard to go
But what you reap I sew
And counting one to ten was easy
Its always happening - slowly, surely happening
Could have been another way
It looked bad from the start
Wont you give me, give me benefit of the doubt
Could have been another day
For pulling the plug on my heart
Wont you give me, give me benefit of the doubt
Wont you give me, give me benefit of the doubt
Wont you give me, give me benefit of the doubt
Could have been another day
For pulling the plug on my heart - ouch!
Wont you give me, give me benefit of the doubt
Could have been another way
It looked bad from the start - ouch!
Wont you give me, give me benefit of the doubt
Could have been another day
For pulling the plug on my heart
Oh, wont you give. me give me benefit of the doubt
Could have been another way
It looked bad from the start
Wont you give me, give me benefit of the
Could have been another day
For pulling the plug on my heart
Wont you give me, give me benefit of the doubt
song performed by by Haircut 100
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I probably wouldn't make a good accountant. I don't even understand what my accountant tells me. But the character is a sort of exaggerated version of me, he's a little more frightened than I am, everything seems so much bigger to him than it does to me.
quote by Matthew Broderick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Answer to all questions
Alcohol is not the answer
To all questions
Stated by Mahatma Gandhi.
Alcohol is not the answer
To all the questions
But if you do not get the answer
It helps you to forget the question
Stated by Vijaya Mallya.
Gandhi and Mallya
Two poles of alcohol
Life style of both are
Like alcohol but with
Difference to those
Who know alcohol and those
Who do not know alcohol
Both the persons are
Irrelevant and meaningless.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant a necessity.
Lies About Tall Guys
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys seem to get executive jobs
Shorter guys work mostly as clerks
Taller guys never seem to be slobs
Shorter guys always seem to be jerks
Taller guys seem to get all of the action
Shorter guys seem to be quite invisible
Taller guys always seem to deserve satisfaction
Shorter guys are lonely and miserable
Just seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys just seem born to play sports
Shorter guys kinda seem to like tennis
Taller guys certainly look better in shorts
Shorter guys look like Dennis the Menace
Taller guys are usually at the top of their class
Shorter guys seem to fail quite a lot
Taller guys always seem to kick ass
Shorter guys want to, but simply cannot
sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys get better grades and such
Shorter guys seem to barely scrape by
Taller guys seem to do better, pretty much
Shorter guys always wonder why
Taller guys seem to have eyes like a hawk
Shorter guys seem to wear glasses a lot
Taller guys cover more ground when they walk
Shorter guys, to keep up, have to trot
Sure seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys and their friends look like N.B.A players
Shorter guys look more like cheerleaders
Taller guys seem to look like dragon slayers
Shorter guys look a lot more like bleeders
Taller guys seem to have more gear to protect
Shorter guys wear more protective gear
Taller guys, more confidence seem to project
Shorter guys have less confidence, more fear
Really seems like it’s that way to me
Taller guys appeal to the female gender
Shorter guys always seem to choke
Taller guys carry a lot more legal tender
Shorter guys always seem to be broke
Taller guys seem to drive high dollar cars
Shorter guys drive toyotas
Taller guys seem to reach for the stars
Shorter guys reach for diet sodas
Taller guys are obnoxious, let’s neuter them all
Shorter guys are great people, always a delight
Taller guys are an abomination against mother nature’s law
If you think I’m a short guy….well, you’re right!
Really seems like the way it should be
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Put you energy into music. If it fails you, you can become an accountant or a dentist. And then if you become a dentist or an accountant, it's too late to become a musician afterwards.
quote by Peter Tork
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Neither Heaven Nor Space
So Quiet
It's neither heaven nor space
It's just high
And the ring around the moon
Looks like light and life
Neither of which I
Get enough of down there
Where a lot of people lie in a deep sleep
And months on end go by
In a single week
Down there
But Much too slow
Can't you see im trying so hard
To plug up this hole
The areas running outwards
Sinking much too low
And if you sit long enough
You can hear ghost trains
As if the citys speed
Is just in our brains
And coax as close as we get to sugar cane
Down there
But much too slow
Can't you see I'm trying so hard
To plug up this hole
The areas running outwards
Sinking much too low
So Quiet
It's neither heaven nor space
It's just high
And the ring around the moon
Looks like light and life
Neither of which I
Get enough of
Neither of which I
Get enough of
song performed by by Nada Surf
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Never call an accountant a credit to his profession; a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
quote by Charles J.C. Lyall
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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One's Addictive Behaviour
To alcohol he lost his young daughter and wife
He says they were not wrong to walk out of his life
For addictive behaviour the price one must pay
And he is one person who sees it this way.
To keep on drinking alcohol the choice he did make
Though he knew in his heart that this was a mistake
He made the wrong choice with his marriage at stake
One's addictive behaviour can cause others heartbreak.
One's addictive behaviour can come at a huge cost
With abuse of health and broken marriages so much to be lost
An addiction of any sort is not a good thing
And the praises of addictive behaviour you won't hear many sing.
For the break up of his marriage his wife he does not blame
Though that he chose alcohol above her and their daughter does cause him some shame
But at conquering an addiction few seem to succeed
'Tis a human frailty the weakness of need.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nothing's sacred anymore. Those girls and I got so close. They were painting me naked every day for months. It was kind of like going to a really bizarre sleepover. It's what you guys imagine we do: One naked girl and seven pairs of hands all over her.
quote by Jennifer Lawrence
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Philthy Phil Philantropist
Theres something wrong with mass consumption
Why do we want what we dont need
Alcohol burnt clean asphalt methampphetamin
Will make it seem alright its gonna make it seem alright
Living in the hunger underground
Some people say I got a problem with authority so
What if I do man it beats relinquished control
Philthy phil philantropist
You were take when you should be given away
More than we cannot repay
Theres something grand about being nothing
Theres something lame about being grand
Alcohol squirtin gun dont want no holidays in these
Thats me not bein you, thats just me not bein you
Either part of the solution or the problem
Can there not be a middle ground for just the anybody
Replace superman with joe the ordinary
Philthy phil philanderer
Youve takedn when you shoulda give away
Filthy phil you gave to us
More than we cannot repay
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Demon Alcohol
Im sick and tired of your excuses
Cant deal with living anymore
Ill give you reasons to continue
While you lie writing on the floor
Ill wash away your lies
And have you hypnotized
Therell be no compromise today
Ill share your life of shame
I think you know my name
Ill introduce myself today
Im the demon alcohol
Demon alcohol
Ill get you
If you could deal with your reflection
Im sure youd see into my eyes
Therell be no need for resurrection
Lets drink to people of the lies
Although that ones too much
You know tens not enough
Therell be no compromise today
Ill watch you lose control
Consume your very soul
Ill introduce myself today
Im the demon alcohol
Demon alcohol
Ha ha
Demon alcohol
Demon alcohol, lets party
(demon alcohol)
(Im the demon alcohol)
Im sick and tired of resolutions
Youve quit me time and time again
Dont speak of suicide solutions
You took my hand, Im here to stay
This time its you or me
Ill never set you free
Therell be no compromise today
So satisfy your lust
Too much cant be enough
Ill introduce myself today
Im the demon alcohol
The demon alcohol
Aha
Demon alcohol
Demon alcohol
Lets party
song performed by by Ozzy Osbourne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Philthy Phil Philanthropist
Theres something wrong with mass consumption why do
We want what we dont need alcohol burn it clean asphalt
Methamphetamine will make it seem alright, its gonna make
It seem alright living in the hunger underground some people
Say I got a problem with authority so what if I do man, it beats
Relinquishing control philthy phil philanthropist rule taken when
You should of give away philthy phil you gave to us more than
We cannot repay theres something grand about being nothing
Theres something lame about being grand alcohol squirting gun
Dont want no holiday in the sun thats me not bein you, thats just
Me not bein either part of the solution or the problem replace
Superman with joe ordinary youve taken when you shoulda
Give away filthy phil you gave to us more that we cannot repay
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nice Guys Don't Deserve To Be Put To The Test
do i really judge a guy,
before i give him a chance,
is that why it so hard,
for a guy to stick around,
i push him away,
before he has the chance to,
change my opinion about him,
yeah i admit,
i don't love easy,
i was hurt before,
i even started to date,
most guys can't understand,
they can't understand my pain,
my struggles of even letting them,
get close to me,
in my mind,
all guys want is sex,
there are very few guys,
who will hold back enough,
to let me know that,
that is not all they are after,
i put guys through tests,
and when they are done,
some see that i am not worth it,
it's my way of keeping my distance,
at times it gets lonely,
but i would rather be lonely,
than broken into a million pieces,
i can't handle anymore pain,
what i'm dealing with,
will make anybody go crazy,
but i'm starting to see,
it not right too,
what i put guys through,
just to prove they worth it,
i'm doing the samething,
as the guys who want me for sex,
what makes me any different?
ppl deserve to be treated right.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Tennyson Fragment
So in the village inn the poet dwelt.
His honey-dew was gone; only the pouch,
His cousin's work, her empty labour, left.
But still he sniffed it, still a fragrance clung
And lingered all about the broidered flowers.
Then came his landlord, saying in broad Scotch,
`Smoke plug, mon,' whom he looked at doubtfully.
Then came the grocer saying, `Hae some twist
At tippence,' whom he answered with a qualm.
But when they left him to himself again,
Twist, like a fiend's breath from a distant room
Diffusing through the passage, crept; the smell
Deepening had power upon him, and he mixt
His fancies with the billow-lifted bay
Of Biscay, and the rollings of a ship.
And on that night he made a little song,
And called his song `The Song of Twist and Plug,'
And sang it; scarcely could he make or sing.
`Rank is black plug, though smoked in wind and rain;
And rank is twist, which gives no end of pain;
I know not which is ranker, no, not I.
`Plug, art thou rank? then milder twist must be;
Plug, thou art milder: rank is twist to me.
O twist, if plug be milder, let me buy.
`Rank twist, that seems to make me fade away,
Rank plug, that navvies smoke in loveless clay,
I know not which is ranker, no, not I.
`I fain would purchase flake, if that could be;
I needs must purchase plug, ah, woe is me!
Plug and a cutty, a cutty, let me buy.
poem by Robert Fuller Murray
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The reason I didn't fly over from Maui at their beck and call is my wife was about to have a baby at any time. Those guys knew that. These guys would not compromise and meet me halfway.
quote by Sammy Hagar
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's Grand
It's grand to be a squatter
And sit upon a post,
And watch your little ewes and lambs
A-giving up the ghost.
It's grand to be a "cockie"
With wife and kids to keep,
And find an all-wise Providence
Has mustered all your sheep.
It's grand to be a Western man,
With shovel in your hand,
To dig your little homestead out
From underneath the sand.
It's grand to be a shearer
Along the Darling-side,
And pluck the wool from stinking sheep
That some days since have died.
It's grand to be a rabbit
And breed till all is blue,
And then to die in heaps because
There's nothing left to chew.
It's grand to be a Minister
And travel like a swell,
And tell the Central District folk
To go to -- Inverell.
It's grand to be a socialist
And lead the bold array
That marches to prosperity
At seven bob a day.
It's grand to be unemployed
And lie in the Domain,
And wake up every second day --
And go to sleep again.
It's grand to borrow English tin
To pay for wharves and docks
And then to find it isn't in
The little money-box.
It's grand to be a democrat
And toady to the mob,
For fear that if you told the truth
They'd hunt you from your job.
It's grand to be a lot of things
In this fair Southern land,
But if the Lord would send us rain,
That would, indeed, be grand!
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dead Guy Stickers
In the USA,
They want to put dead guy pictures on cigarette packs.
With that brilliant logic in mind, I say put dead guy stickers on:
car windshields(dead guys in wrecks)
pistol and rifle handles (dead guys shot)
marriage licenses (dead spouses)
hamburger and hot dog wrappers (dead fat guys)
pies, cakes (more dead fat guys)
bathroom doors (thousands of dead guys in bathrooms every year)
bicycles (road kill dead guys)
fire places (burnt dead guys)
swimming pools (drown dead guys)
every electrical outlet (fried dead guys)
air plane tickets (dead passenger guys)
the beach (shark bit dead guys)
cities (shot dead guys)
air (blue dead guys)
fish (poisoned dead guys)
motorcycles (more road kill dead guys)
scarfs (strangled dead guys)
football helmets (brain dead guys)
hot tubs (more drowned dead guys)
and so on.
Just about everything can kill you, such as:
Mothers (dead baby guys plus dead fathers)
Fathers (dead baby guys plus dead mothers)
Police(multiple dead guys and chicks)
Drugs (multiple dead guys and chicks)
and so on.
Once everything has a dead guy sticker on it,
You've been warned and the world will be safer, right?
It shows we care, right?
poem by Richard Jarboe
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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According to Teenage Research Unlimited, 51 percent of 13-15 year olds say they will be faced with making a decision regarding alcohol in the next three months.
quote by Xavier Becerra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pulling the plug on the BlackBerry could cost corporate America millions of dollars. The BlackBerry is more than e-mail but a handheld office, and if you shut down the BlackBerry, you shut off the data that powers American business.