I mean, all alternative comedy is are comedians that have being doing it for so long, for so long, that they were relaxed enough to start becoming personal on stage.
quote by Patton Oswalt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
It seems like when I first started, people got into comedy because they wanted to be good comedians.
quote by Wanda Sykes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Life Of Artic Sounds
as long as your gone,
i can't apologize
for all the things that i haven't said and done
And100miles is a long drive inside a car
200 ""
300 ""
400 ""
500miles is a REAL LONG DRIVE INSIDE A CAR
600miles is a long drive inside a car
700 ""
800 ""
900 miles is a long long long long ways in a car
1000 miles is a LONG DRIVE INSIDE A CAR!!!!!!!
1100 miles is too far inside a car
I wrote my name on the sun(?)
hey alright i might be goddamned
a life of arctic sounds
hey alright i might be goddamned
all the sad comedians
hey alright i might be goddamned
(repeat)i might...be...goddamned.
song performed by by Modest Mouse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Life Of Arctic Sounds
As long as your gone,
I cant apologize
For all the things that I havent said and done
And 100 miles is a long drive inside a car
200
300
400
500 miles is a real long drive inside a car
600 miles is a long drive inside a car
700
800
900 miles is a long long long long ways in a car
1000 miles is a long drive inside a car!!!!!!!
1100 miles is too far inside a car
I wrote my name on the sun(? )
Hey alright I might be goddamned
A life of arctic sounds
Hey alright I might be goddamned
All the sad comedians
Hey alright I might be goddamned
(repeat) I might...be...goddamned.
song performed by by Modest Mouse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All Night Long
We get up early and we work all day
We put our time in cause we like to stay up
All night long
We keep on grinnin till the weekend comes
Just a pinch between your cheek and gum
All night long, all night long
Start in the morning and get the job done
Take care of busness and we have some fun
All night long, all night long
We like a long neck and a good old song
Turn it up and then we sing along
Sing along
Were all stayin up all night long
All night long
All night long
All night long
All night long
song performed by by Eagles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Get Off The Stage
Oh, you silly old man
You silly old man
Youre making a fool of yourself
So get off the stage
You silly old man
In your misguided trousers
With your mascara and your fender guitar
And you think you can arouse us ?
But the song that you just sang
It sounds exactly like the last one
And the next one
I bet you it will sound
Like this one
Downstage, and offstage
Dont you feel all run in ?
And do you wonder when they will take it away ?
This is your final fling
But then applause ran high
But for the patience of the ones behind you
As a verse drags on like a month drags on
Its very short, but it seems very long
And the song that you just sang
It sounds exactly like the last one
And the next one
I bet you it will sound
Like this one
So, get off the stage
Oh, get off the stage
And when we get down off of the stage
Please stay off the stage - all day !
Get off the stage
Oh, get off the stage
And when weve had our money back
Then Id like your back in plaster
Oh, I know that you say
How age has no meaning
Oh, but here is your audience now
And theyre screaming :
Get off the stage
Oh, get off the stage
Because Ive given you enough of my time
And the money that wasnt even mine
Have you seen yourself recently ?
Oh, get off the stage
Oh, get off the stage
For whom, oh ...
For whom, oh ...
For whom, oh ...
For whom, oh ...
Get off the stage
Get off the stage
Get off the stage
For whom the bell tolls
song performed by by Morrissey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Meeting Jim
Meeting Jim for the very first time,
he had a smile a mile wide.
He knew I would do comedy on the stage,
he knew I was half his age.
For Jim was 40 years older than me,
it didn’t matter he had integrity.
He said he would show me the ropes,
he felt some comedians where just dopes.
Jim protected me from all the wolves,
don’t mess around, it was understood.
Jim was hilarious that first night,
he was trying to impress me and get it just right.
afterwards at Blue Martini where he drew the line,
The line with a guy who wanted to dance with me,
he said “hey, did you buy her a drink, let’s see? ”
It was very funny, for we where only drinking water,
not even ice tea.
Funny times more to come,
Jim was hilarious and really fun.
Written By Suzae Chevalier on January 24,2012
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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How Long Baby
How long, how long baby,
Can this love of ours go on?
How long, how long baby,
cause I know, I know youve been doin me wrong
Youve been seen all over town
Playin the field puttin me down
How long can this go on?
How long, how long baby
Must you treat me like a fool?
How long, how long baby,
Dont you know, youre breakin the rules?
Do you think its only a game?
The way that youre actin,
Youll drive me insane,
How long can this go on?
(instrumental)
I wanna know, how long, how long baby,
Must you tear my soul apart?
How long, how long baby,
When you break, when you break my heart
Oh wont you, change your ways,
Come on back, let me hear you say
That we will start anew
I need you so, I need you so
I need you so, whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Graduate, The
He has done the study
Sat all the exams
Handed in all his assignments
Now he is recognized
The walk across the stage
Long, but not long enough
We cheer and shed a tear
For our graduate
Now his future what will it be?
How will this knowledge help him?
Does he walk this stage again?
Its all up to him.
poem by Alison Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Stevie D Jimmy And Melodie
Melodie adores Stevie D,
she compliments his style of dress to a T.
She has the memory of going to City Place
Stevie goes on the Improv comedy stage
Stevie does comedy and entertains.
Melodie laughs with Jimmy Dean,
it is one funniest acts they have ever seen!
Then Jimmy is next to go on stage,
his act is funny it's all the rage.
Melodie is then to be seen,
she is with Razel puppet and me.
Lighters light up in the air,
wild whistling everywhere,
Razel yells without a care,
'You know why I have no pupils? '
right before Melodie can jump in-
Razel has finished her line and committed the sin.
People are shocked and begin to talk.
Lights go out and Razel starts to shout,
I bow with the girls before I walk out.
What a time in 2005, where the Improv Stage comes alive.
Sharing the stage with Stevie D, Jimmy, Razel and Melodie.
poem by Suzae Chevalier
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Its Been A Long Long Time
Its been a long time...
Since I held you tight.
Its been a long time...
Everyday in this fight.
Its been a long...long...time.
Its been a long time...
Since I've had a kiss.
Its been a long time...
You're pretty blue eyes I miss.
Its been a long...long...time.
Its been a long time...
This Iraqi tour.
Its been a long time...
I miss you so and more.
Its been a long...long...time.
Its been a long time...
Hot days with freezing nights.
Its been a long time...
Sunburned face, mosquito bites.
Its been a long...long...time.
Its been a long time...
Had a real bad day.
Its been a long time...
Lost some soldiers today.
Its been a long...long...time.
Its been a long time...
I suffer everyday.
Its been a long time...
For me to be away.
Its been a long...long...time.
Its been a long time...
For me to be alone.
Its been a long time...
No talking on the telephone.
Its been a long...long...time.
Its been a long time...
Since you heard me say...
Baby, my sweet darling...
I'm leaving Iraq today!
poem by Philip Lore
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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0316 Faith - For You Who Asked
Yes, there is a stage
and yes, there are actors;
a script to engage;
an experienced director..
Yes, indeed, I’ll pray for you
to the One they say best deems
those matters which may bless our soul
however strange they seem;
Oh yes, I will pray for you,
as much as human can;
but, add this wish from me for you,
which is more personal:
In course of time – who knows how long? –
may you look back and say,
‘Although it seemed ungodly cruel,
it turned out well for me..’
Yes, there is a stage
and yes, there are actors;
a script to engage;
an experienced director.
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I started doing comedy because that was the only stage that I could find. It was the pure idea of being on stage. That was the only thing that interested me, along with learning the craft and working, and just being in productions with people.
quote by Robin Williams
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Just A Little Love
When I think that you got everything that you need,
you only ask for more.
You got dresses from Paris and a Jaguar car,
Nasty habits that no sheik could afford.
Easy money and what it buys.
is the loneliest kind of high.
If you ever just give it a try,
Just a little love (just a little love)
Goes a long way.
A little love goes a long, long way.
Just a little love (just a little love)
Just a little love
A little love goes a long, long, long, long way.
You bought a high-dollar house in the Hollywood hills,
the zip code of the stars.
Into nouvelle cuisine, candy keeps you lean.
The doctor takes your credit card.
In the emptiness of the night, when you never feel satisfied.
And you're missin' what could make it right.
Just a little love (just a little love)
Goes a long way.
A little love goes a long, long way.
Just a little love (just a little love)
Just a little love
A little love goes a long, long, long, long way.
Oh yeah.
Aren't you carryin' cash just a little too far?
What happens when it's gone?
Every pleasure gets old, like a river runs dry.
The things that last come down to one.
Just a little love, goes a long way.
A little love goes a long, long way.
Just a little love, just a little love,
A little love goes a long, long, long, long way.
Just a little love, goes a long way.
A little love goes a long, long way.
Just a little love, a little love,
A little love goes a long, long, long, long way.
song performed by by 38 Special
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Who I am on stage is very, very different to who I am in real life. But I don't see that having a sexy image when you are on stage means that you don't love God. No one knows what I'm really like from that. I like to walk around with bare feet and I don't like to comb my hair. I'm always so glammed up and so diva on stage and that's what they see. People don't understand that... No one knows my personal relationship with God and it's not up to me to prove that to anyone.
quote by Beyoncé Knowles
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Straight From The Heart
(bryan adams/ eric kagna)
Producer for bonnie: jim steinman
I could start dreaming but it never ends
As long as youre gone we may as well pretend
Ive been dreaming
And thats straight from the heart
You said its easy but whos to say
That wed be able to keep it this way
But its easier
Coming straight from the heart
Give it to me straight from the heart
Tell me we could make another start
You know Ill never go
As long as I know
Its coming straight from the heart
Ill see you on the street some other time
But all our words will just fall out of line
While were dreaming
Straight from the heart
Give it to me straight from the heart
Tell me we could make another start
You know Ill never go
As long as I know
Its coming straight from the heart
Instrumental
Give it to me straight from the heart
Tell me we could make another start
You know Ill never go
As long as lknow
Its coming straight from the heart
Give it to me straight from the heart
Tell me we could make another start
You know Ill never go
As long as I know
Its coming straight from the heart
You know Ill never go
As long as I know
Its coming straight from the heart
You know Ill never go
As long as I know
Its coming straight from the heart
song performed by by Bonnie Tyler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The comedians all finished their acts with a song. They would get a certain amount of money from the song publishers and would use that money to pay the writers. None of them paid very much for their comedy material, but it all added up.
quote by Denis Norden
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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How Long
How long, how long baby
How long has it been
How long you gonna keep me wondering
How long before you see
Stallin me was wrong
How long
How long, how long you gonna keep
Slappin my hand away
How long you gonna keep my love at bay
How long before youre sure
My love is strong
How long
How long, how long you gonna keep
Tellin me you like me fine
How long until Im gonna make you mine
How long before wake up
And find your good man gone
How long
song performed by by Dire Straits
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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How Long Blues
(by leroy carr)
How long, baby how long,
Has that evening train been gone?
How long, how how long, baby how long?
Went to the station, didnt see no train.
Down in my heart, I have an aching pain.
How long, how how long, baby how long?
I feel disgusted, I feel so bad
Thinking bout the good time that I once had had.
How long, how how long, baby how long?
I could see the green grass growing on the hill;
I aint seen no greenback on a dollar bill.
How long, how how long, baby how long?
Youre gonna be sorry you feel so blue.
When you want me, baby, I declare I want, want you.
How long, how how long, baby how long?
Dont have no money for to ride the train.
I would ride the rugs, baby, to be with you again.
How long, how how long, baby how long?
How long, baby how long
Must I keep my, my watching point?
How long, how how long, baby how long?
song performed by by Eric Clapton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There will never be peace
As long as
someone can pull out a gun
to shoot someone dead
as long as
someone can dropp a bomb
on some strangers head
there will never be peace
no there will never be peace
in this world
as long as
someone can start a war
based on a pack of lies
as long as
someone ignores the truth
when they look deep in your eyes
there will never be peace
no there will never be peace
in this world
if this is progress
we haven't come too far
if this is progress
we don't know who we are
if this is progress
we are worlds apart
if this is progress
we'd better go back to the start
as long as
someone stabs you in the back
and sticks the knife in good
as long as
someone walks without shame
in streets paved with blood
there will never be peace
no there will never be peace
in this world
It's also that comedians don't have the kind of narcissism that actors have. They're writers who perform their own material. It's more interesting. And they're sexy because they risk more. Stand-up comedians risk more than anyone.
quote by Rachel Weisz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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