Related quotes: Obviously, you've never seen a...

Obviously, you've never seen a woman skydiving in a hoop skirt.

quote by Chris A. Bridges
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Smart Woman

Smart woman (in a real short skirt)
By: jimmy buffett, marshall chapman
1988
This song is about being in my 40's in the 80's. it seems i'm learing more than i'm forgetting.
-- spoken:
"so i told her, ooh you got money of your own? well, that gives me the urge to merge."
Bimbo limbo is where i've been
I know you know that it's wearing me thin
The times are changing, and it's about time
I'm rearrangin' all the guilt in my mind
Chorus:
I'm looking for a smart woman in a real short skirt
Smart woman who knows how to flirt
Smart woman got a mind of her own
Smart woman that'll take me home
Take me home
I'm not your macho kind of guy
But i can be so when i'm feeling shy
Hey, baby, where'd you get your good looks
Ooh, babe, i want to carry your books
Chorus:
I'm looking for a smart woman in a real short skirt
Smart woman who knows how to flirt
Smart woman got a mind of her own
Smart woman that'll take me home
Take me home
Beauty and brains (beauty and brains)
Best of both worlds (best of both worlds)
Think i can change (think i can change)
If you'll be my, be my, be my girl
Chorus:
I'm looking for a smart woman in a real short skirt
Smart woman who knows how to flirt
Smart woman got a mind of her own
Smart woman that'll take me home
Take me home
Chorus:
I'm looking for a smart woman in a real short skirt
Smart woman who knows how to flirt
Smart woman got a mind of her own
Smart woman better take me home
Take me home

song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Circus

Hey, there! Hoop-la! the circus is in town!
Have you seen the elephant? Have you seen the clown?
Have you seen the dappled horse gallop round the ring?
Have you seen the acrobats on the dizzy swing?
Have you seen the tumbling men tumble up and down?
Hoop-la! Hoop-la! the circus is in town!

Hey, there! Hoop-la! Here's the circus troupe!
Here's the educated, dog jumping through the hoop.
See the lady Blondin with the parasol and fan,
The lad upon the ladder and the india-rubber man.
See the joyful juggler and the boy who loops the loop.
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Here's the circus troupe!

poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You have to get through the Hamlet hoop as a young actor. Your classical qualifications are based on the quality of your Hamlet. And then, as an older actor, you have to get through the Lear hoop. And I'm approaching the Lear hoop.

quote by Derek Jacobi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Epilogue

O chansons foregoing
You were a seven days' wonder.
When you came out in the magazines
You created considerable stir in Chicago,
And now you are stale and worn out,
You're a very depleted fashion,
A hoop-skirt, a calash,
An homely, transient antiquity.
Only emotion remains.
Your emotions?
Are those of a maitre-de-cafe.

poem by Ezra Pound
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Headlong

Words and music by queen
And youre rushing headlong youve got a new goal
And youre rushing headlong out of control
And you think youre so strong
But there aint no stopping
And theres nothin you can do about it
Nothin you can do no theres nothin you can do about it
No theres nothin you can nothin you can nothin you can
Do about it
And youre rushing headlong youve got a new goal
And youre rushing headlong out of control
And you think youre so strong
But there aint no stopping no theres nothin you can do
About it
Yeah
Hey he used to be a man with a stick in his hand
Hoop diddy diddy - hoop diddy do
She used to be a woman with a hot dog stand
Hoop diddy diddy - hoop diddy do
Now youve got soup in the laundry bag
Now youve got strings youre gonna lose your rag
Youre gettin in a fight
Then it aint so groovy when youre screaming in the night
Let me out of this cheap b movie
Headlong down the highway and youre rushing
Headlong out of control
And you think youre so strong
But there aint no stopping and you cant stop rockin
And theres nothin you can nothin you can nothin you can
Do about it
When a red hot man meets a white hot lady
Hoop diddy diddy - hoop diddy do
Soon the fire starts raging gets you more than half crazy
Hoop diddy diddy - hoop diddy do
Now they start freaking everywhere you turn
You cant start walking cause your feet got burned
It aint no time to figure wrong from right
Cause reasons out of the window better hold on tight
Youre rushing headlong
Headlong out of control - yeah
And you think youre so strong
But there aint no stopping
And theres nothin you nothin you nothin you can do about
It at all
Yeah yeah
Alright - go
And youre rushing headlong down the highway
And youre rushing headlong out of control
And you think youre so strong
But there aint no stopping
Theres nothin nothin nothin you can do about it
Ah ha
Headlong
Yeah yeah yeah
Headlong
Headlong
Headlong
Gnoldeah gnoldeah gnoldeah gnoldeah

song performed by by Queen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Smart Woman (In A Real Short Skirt)

Smart Woman (in a real short skirt)
-----------------------------------
by Jimmy Buffett and Marshall Chapman
Bimbo limbo is where I been.
I know you know it's been wearin' me thin.
Times are changing, and I think it's time.
I'm rearranging all the guilt in my mind.
Chorus:
I'm looking for a smart woman in a real short skirt,
A smart woman who knows how to flirt,
A smart woman, got a mind of her own,
A smart woman who'll take me home,
Take me home.
I'm not your macho kind of guy,
But I can be so when I'm feeling shy.
Hey, baby, where'd you get your good looks?
Ooh, babe, I want to carry your books.
(CHORUS)
Beauty and brains (beauty and brains),
The best of both worlds (best of both worlds)
I think I could change (think I could change)
If you'd be my, be my, be my girl.
(CHORUS twice

song performed by by Jimmy Buffett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

quote by Henny Youngman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

quote by Wendy Northcutt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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On The Hoop

The hoop, the darling justly of the fair,
Of every generous swain deserves the care.
It is unmanly to desert the weak,
'Twould urge a stone, if possible, to speak;
To hear stanch hypocrites bawl out and cry,
'This hoop's a whorish garb, fie! ladies, fie!'
O cruel and audacious men, to blast
The fame of ladies more than vestals chaste;
Should you go search the globe throughout,
None will you find so pious and devout;
So modest, chaste, so handsome, and so fair,
As our dear Caledonian ladies are.
When awful beauty puts on all her charms,
Nought gives our sex such terrible alarms,
As when the hoop and tartan both combine
To make a virgin like a goddess shine.
Let quakers cut their clothes unto the quick,
And with severities themselves afflict;
But may the hoop adorn Edina's streets,
Till the south pole shall with the northern meet.

poem by James Thomson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Chauvinist

I’d never really comprehended such a mighty range of
Shapes and sizes down behind, it’s really rather strange:
The buttock muscle in a woman, overlaid with fat
Is actually such a focal point for men to want to pat

Or squeeze, and then to tease her if it’s eminently stout,
Or even risk a stay in clink to sting it with a clout!
After all, we men are tuned to be that way inclined –
And tho’ our needs are varied, girls, they’re all perverse of mind!

Best of all, our sacred dream: to see her shed her gown
When gliding to the shower for the ritual sponging down.
But then alas! With body lathered, oops! she drops the soap;
‘Please! ’ we beg her, ‘bend and bare! ’ But we can only hope!

I’m sure by now you get the picture – like a rule of thumb –
That men like me obsess all day about the fairer bum.

My dreams are of a
woman woman woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman woman woman
woman woman woman woman woman woman woman

poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Rooty Toot Toot

Got my hands on a little bit of dough
So I went to the crocery store
And got some steaks to go
Went by, and picked up my gal, teddi jo
We had ourselves a picnic
Beside a dirty road
Chorus:
Rooty toot toot
Rooty toot toot
We had it made in the shade
Like a bell through the hoop
Spinnin and tumblin inside this
Hoola hoop
Livin and learnin
rooty toot toot
We laid out a blanket
And started a fire.
Had the radio playin
from inside the car
I took off my shirt
And kicked off my shoes
She read the paper
And told me the news
She said, theres a lot of
People out there
Who are at the end of their rope
Sometimes, baby
Youve got to lay low
Chorus:
Rooty toot toot
Rooty toot toot
We had it made in the shade
Like a bell through the hoop
Spinnin and tumblin inside this
Hoola hoop
Livin and learnin
rooty toot toot
We stayed there all day
We both get us some real
Good suntans
I thought, that was ok
Sometimes life can be so grand
We were gettin ready
To shake out that place
When the illinois state trooper
Got in my face
He said, youre on pirvate property
But once he cooled down, he was ok
Sometimes youre golden, man
Thats all I got to say
Chorus:
Rooty toot toot
Rooty toot toot
We had it made in the shade
Like a bell through the hoop
Spinnin and tumblin inside this
Hoola hoop
Livin and learnin
rooty toot toot

song performed by by John Mellencamp
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Red-headed Woman

Well, brunettes are fine, man.
Blondes are fun.
But, when it comes to getting the dirty job done,
Ill take a red-headed woman, a red-headed woman.
Yeah, a red-headed woman sure can get that job done.
Well, listen up, sir,
Your lifes been wasted
Until youve been down on your knees,
Oh, man, tasted a red-headed woman, a red-headed woman.
Yeah, a red-headed woman sure gets a dirty job done.
Eh ha ha woo hoo woo.
Ee ee ah ee ah ha ea ha ha woo woo (etc.)
Yeah, little tight skirt, strawberry hair.
Tell me what youve got, baby, waiting under there.
Big green eyes that look like sun
They can see every cheap thing that you ever done
Well, I dont care how many girls you dated.
Man, you aint lived
Till youve had your tires rotated
By a red-headed woman, a red-headed woman.
A red-headed woman sure can get the job done.
Well, all you girls out there tonight
Sure look fine,
But my heart and soul and this body of mine
Is a red-headed womans, a red-headed womans.
Yeah, a red-headed woman sure gets a dirty job done.
Eh ha ha woo hoo woo.
Ee ee ah ee ah ha ea ha ha woo woo (etc.)

song performed by by Bruce Springsteen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skirt with a Flowery Design

I slipped into a long nightmare
Of wild, disturbing thoughts
And a river of fears.
I waited for the only woman
Who ever saw me weep,
I waited with the same lonely eyes
That used to watch her sleep.
Hearing the ocean roar of my unhappy soul,
I desired to wake but sunk further into restless unconsciousness.

In immeasurable darkness,
I trailed the voice of a bird
Until I casted myself into a moonless ditch.
Yesterday, I touched a skirt with a flowery design,
A skirt that once swayed with dances
But now hangs lifelessly in a closet.

I’ve been told
Everything can be forgotten,
The ability to open your eyes,
The fragrant scent of a woman’s hair,
How to fall in love or kiss,

Oh, my God!
I’ve fallen into this abyss!

poem by Uriah Hamilton
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dirty Song

If a womans hips are ample
Then I want her in the hay
Skirt and stocking all a rample
Cheerfully
For thats my way
If the woman bites in pleasure
Then I wipe it clean with hay
My mouth, her lap together
Not really
For thats my way
If a woman goes on loving
When I feel to tired to play
Id smile and go off waving, Im leaving
For thats my way

song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I had to jump out of a plane! The shoot was for an editorial for a magazine; and it called for skydiving.

quote by Bridget Hall
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Winds and Skirts

...it was the hem of her skirt I saw;
the wind, though blowing lightly,
revealed the contours of her frame.
Wished I could say I was not moved.

The host whisked her into a room
but the aroma of her perfume lingered.
Were I to see her face again,
I would not recognized it
but the hem of her skirt, well.

I stood there for an hour
with my face stuck to the pane;
my facial image is still there,
yet I did not see her.
I have smelled many perfumes since
and have seen many skirt hems...
What would I give to see her body
sway in the winds?

poem by Buxton Shippy
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I am not afraid of much. I kill all the spiders in my house, and I'm planning to go skydiving. I am into girl power, and I'm very self-sufficient.

quote by Elizabeth Banks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stay Away Joe

(words & music by weisman - wayne)
Ho jump down, spin around, lets have a party
Look whos back, stay away joe
Chock taw, chick a shaw, gonna drink me hearty
Welcome back, stay away joe
Stay away joe they call me
Stay away joe oh yeah!
But if you need me call me
Hoop and a holler and Ill be there
Ho!
Who keeps turnin up like a bad penny
Take one guess, stay away joe
Always findin trouble a-plenty
Oh my yes, I reckon you know
Stay away joe they call me
Stay away joe oh yeah!
But if you need me call me
Hoop and a holler and Ill be there
Ho!
Ho!
When two lips are right for the pickin
Who crops up
I love them and leave them screamin n kickin
Giddy up look at him look at him go
Stay away joe they call me
Stay away joe oh yeah!
But if you need me call me
Hoop and a holler and Ill be there
Ho!
Hey!

song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Her Hidden Treasure

Her flame was only for the women –
Not for us unlucky men;
A weakness lay for feminine way:
To feel an even fairer skin
In silky slide.

Her lips were for the satin love that
Only flows from rising breast;
The creamy tan was not for man
To pull towards a chiselled chest
In weathered hide.

Her hidden treasure down below
Would shy away from macho length
And only rouse upon the blouse
Undone by other sapphic strength –
In time, inside!

woman woman woman woman woman woman
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woman woman woman woman woman woman