Related quotes: There are only three things...

There are only three things that can kill a farmer: lightning, rolling over in a tractor, and old age.

quote by Bill Bryson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes

She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy

Plowin' these fields in the hot summer sun
Over by the gate lordy here she comes
With a basket full of chicken and a big cold jug of sweet tea
I make a little room and she climbs on up
Open up a throttle and stir a little dust
Just look at her face she ain't a foolin' me

She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always starin' at me
While I'm chuggin' along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy

We ride back and forth 'til we run out of light
Take it to the barn put it up for the night
Climb up in the loft sit and talk with the radio on
She said she's got a dream and I asked what it is
She wants a little farm and a yard full of kids
One more teeny weeny ride before take her home

Well she ain't into cars or pickup trucks
But if it runs like a Deere man her eyes light up

She thinks my tractor's
She thinks my tractor's sexy
It really turns her on
She's always starin' at me
While I'm chuggin' along
She likes the way it's pullin' while we're tillin' up the land
She's even kind of crazy 'bout my farmer's tan
She's the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor's sexy
She thinks my tractor's sexy
She thinks my tractor's sexy

song performed by by Kenny Chesney from Everywhere We Go
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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And The Money Kept Rolling In (And Out)

Che: And the money kept rolling in from every side

Eva's pretty hands reached out and they reached wide
Now you may feel it should have been a voluntary cause
But that's not the point my friends
When the money keeps rolling in you don't ask how
Think of all the people guaranteed a good time now
Eva's called the hungry to her open up the doors
Never been a fund like the Foundation Eva Peron

Rolling rolling rolling
Rolling rolling rolling
Rolling rolling rolling
Rolling rolling rolling
Rolling rolling rolling
Rolling rolling rolling
Rolling rolling rolling
Rolling rolling rolling
Rolling on in rolling on in rolling on in rolling on in on in

Would you like to try a college education
Own your landlord's house take the family on vacation
Eva and her blessed fund can make your dreams come true
Here's all you have to do my friends
Write your name and your dream on a card or a pad or a ticket
Throw it high into the air and should our lady pick it
She will change your way of life for a week or even two
Name me anyone who cares as much as Eva Peron

And the money kept rolling out in all directions
To the poor to the weak to the destitute of all complexions
Now cynics claim a little of the cash has gone astray
But that's not the point my friends
When the money keeps rolling out you don't keep books
You can tell you've done well by the happy grateful looks
Accountants only slow things down figures get in the way
Never been a lady loved as much as Eva Peron

Eva

When the money keeps rolling out you don't keep books
You can tell you've done well by the happy grateful looks
Accountants only slow things down figures get in the way
Never been a lady loved as much as Eva Peron

song performed by by Madonna from Evita Soundtrack (Part 2)
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I've always said I want a farmer, not a hunter. Hunters go for the kill and they move on. A farmer nurtures; he watches things grow.

quote by Eva Longoria
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Thanks To The Rolling Sea

(words & music by batchelor - roberts)
Thanks to the rolling, rolling, rolling, thanks to the rolling sea
Thanks to the rolling, rolling, rolling, thanks to the rolling sea
Fish on the table and fish on the fire, fried fish hanging on the tree
Everything here that your heart desires, thanks to the rolling sea
Thanks to the rolling sea
Living is good and living is fine, were happy as can be
We owe all this to the salty brine, thanks to the rolling sea
Thanks to the rolling sea
We work all day but our hearts are gay, and while we work we sing
The mighty sea is good to us and weve got everything
Abalone steaks and tuna fish cakes, taste so heavenly
We know who we owe it to, thanks to the rolling sea
Thanks to the rolling, rolling, rolling, thanks to the rolling sea
Thanks to the rolling, rolling, rolling, thanks to the rolling sea
Thanks to the rolling, rolling, rolling, thanks to the rolling sea
Thanks to the rolling, rolling, rolling, thanks to the rolling sea

song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Under A Merciless Sun

Under a sun that burns merciless hot,
the wild wind and unrestrained weather
the farmer kneels humble before God
ploughs his fields, takes seed in both his hands
see the twirling wind from a distance,
then prays again sincerely to the Lord,
before he plants the seeds, ask for blessings
when his tractor pulls red dust from the field.

Big drops pour down for days without an end,
time and again the farmer thanks his God,
with a fresh smell coming from the wet earth
overnight all of the wild grass is green,
it’s dripping wet as far as he can see;
the farmer lives connected to God.

poem by Gert Strydom
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Taxes On The Farmer Feeds Us All

(traditional, adapted by ry cooder)
(d) - (a) - (e)
(a) we worked through spring and winter, through (d) summer and through (a) fall
But the mortgage worked the hardest and the (e) steadiest of us all
It (a) worked on nights and sundays, it (d) worked each holiday
(e) settled down among us and it never went (a) away
The farmer comes to town with his wagon broken down
The farmer is the man who feeds us all
If you only look and see I know you will agree
That the farmer is the man who feeds us all
(a) the farmer is the man, the farmer is the man
He buys on his credit until (e) fall
Then they (a) take him by the hand
And they (d) lead him from his land
And the (e) merchant is the man who gets it (a) all
The farmer is the man, the farmer is the man
He lives on his credit until fall
With the interest rates so high
Its a wonder he dont die
But the taxes on the farmer feeds us all
Well, the banker says hes broke and the merchant stops and smoke
But they forget that its the farmer that feeds them all
It would put them to the test if the farmer took a rest
And theyd know that its the farmer that feeds them all
The farmer is the man, the farmer is the man
Lives on his credit until fall
Well, his pants are wearing thin
His condition, its a sin
cause the taxes on the farmer feeds us all

song performed by by Ry Cooder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Speak to him in his tongue.

A scientist told a farmer
About a pesticide’s use, saying
“Efficacy of it is indisputable
but its residue is incompatible”
The farmer took it to mean
that it is good to use and used it.

Alarmed, the scientist went to him
And warned him not to use it
And if he does, the consumers would suffer.
“Don’t use it. It saves the crop
but will kill the stomach of eaters”,
the scientist told him in plain words.
The farmer understood and threw it.
You be in his language to a layman.
23.12.2000, Pmdi

poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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I am poem

I am rolling in he deep
I wonder when i will stop rolling with everyone else
I hear people saying bad things about me it makes me feel that i should kepp rolling intil i am depp in sorrow
I see everyone still while i am rolling all around
I want to stop rolling in deep sorrow
I am rolling in the deep
I pretend to be like everyone else not rolling in deep regret but still, still as life can be
I feel in deep sorrow rolling in the worst thoughts
I worry about someone finding out about my deepest darkest secrets
I cry when i can not stop rolling in deep sorrow
I am roliing in the deep
I undersyand that one day i will stop rolling in the deep regret
I i say that no one should be rolling in deeo sorrow but still
I dream that i am still that none of those deep thoughts have ever accured
I try to stop the rolling but the rolling is going to the deepest regret the rolling has taken over
I hope one day one minute one moment oone second one hor i willl stop rolling
I an rolling in the deep

poem by Haadia Ansari
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Sonnet: The Farmer

The farmer gazes at the sky for signs,
If rain could come within the next few days!
The summer sun continuously still strains;
‘To sow the seed, the rain must come, ’ he prays.

His field is ploughed and ready for sowing;
The seed was sowed and seedlings too are born;
The rain must come in time for their growing;
The cloudless sky fills up his heart with scorn.

But suddenly, from sky the lightning strikes!
And thunder comes followed by heavy rain;
The farmer shouts with joy like o’er a mike;
Aft’r all, God saved his crops this year again.

Let Heaven tell us when to do some things;
Let joy profound, then reign ’midst all earthlings!

poem by John Celes
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Happily Married Life

I am having my own way
I snorted,
and then the rolling pin struck.
No, you are having your own way,
she was, and she did.
Such is things
in happily married life.

You are doing the dishes
she shouted,
oh no I am not,
and then the rolling pin struck
and I was and I did.
Such is things
in happily married life.

I went to a fortune-teller
to have the bumps on my head read.
She had plenty to choose from
as the rolling pin struck nightly.
Such is things
in happily married life.

We are having sex tonight
she declared.
Not tonight Josephine
I replied.
Then the Viagra came out,
along with the rolling pin,
and we were and we have.
Such is things
in happily married life.

One day I am burning the rolling pin
and we will be miserable once more,
even if I do get a bit bored.
The one thing you have to do
to get a peaceful and happily married life
is have no rolling pin insight.

poem by David Harris
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Me & The Farmer

Me and the farmer get on fine
Through stormy weather and bottles of wine
If I pull my weight hell treat me well
But if Im late hell give me hell
And thought its all hard work no play
Farmer is a happy crook
Jesus hates him everyday
cause jesus gave and farmer took
{wont he let you go? } probably no
{wont he let you go? } probably no
{why does he treat you so? } I just dont know
{why does he treat you so? } I just dont know
Me and the farmer like brother, like sister
Getting on like hand and blister
Me and the farmer
Hes chpped down shppe, planted trees
And helped the countryside to breathe
Ripped up fields, bullied flocks
And workded his workers right around the clock
It may seem strange but hed admit
Intentions arent exactlly true
And through God loves his wife a bit
He hates the farmer through and through
{wont he let you go? } probably no
{wont he let you go? } probably no
{why does he treat you so? } I just dont know
{why does he treat you so? } I just dont know
Me and the farmer like brother, like sister
Getting on like hand and blister
Me and the farmer
All things bright and beautiful
All creatures gr3eat and small
All weve got is london zoo
cause farmer owns them all

song performed by by Housemartins
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Happiness is not a circus clown rolling around in a big tractor tire so that his arms and legs form 'spokes.' Happiness is when he stops.

Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Blitz Of Lightning

When its nice and easy
He can handle the fear
He thought he was burning
With all the pain he had
Then his smile was gone
He didnt know where he was
Cant you hear him cry
This time he is alive
Hes out to seek and find
To find his own style in time
No more retreat but fight
So be aware and watch the night, watch the night
Hello world, here I am
Dont you fool me again
Im like a blitz of lightning
So get outta my way
Every night and day
The lightning strikes again
Then he came to the point
He could believe in his life
A different soul was born
He must no more deny
But he wants to forget
His old rotten desires
No more pain - no more cries
All those things are behind
Hes out to seek and find
To find his own style in time
No more retreat but fight
So be aware and watch the night, watch the night
Hello world, here I am
Dont you fool me again
Im like a blitz of lightning
So get outta my way
Every night and day
The lightning strikes again
Hello world, here I go
Dont fool me, oh no
Im like a rolling thunder
The storys been told
And my blood runs cold
It wont be all the same
It will never be the same again
Hello world, here I am
Dont you fool me again
Im like a blitz of lightning
So get outta my way
Every night and day
The lightning strikes again
Hello world, here I go
Dont fool me, oh no
Im like a rolling thunder
Now the die is cast
Chances are vast
It wont be all the same
Hello world, here I am
Dont you fool me again
Im like a blitz of lightning
The storys been told
And my blood runs cold
It wont be all the same
Hello world...

song performed by by U. D. O.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lightning Strikes Twice

(murray, harris)
I feel the breeze on my face in expectance
Not very long before the storm reaches here
Off in the distance the lightning is flashing again
Feel something strong as the power draws near
Is it the rolling of thunder that scares you
Is it the crashing of clouds that hold fear
But all I know as I sit in a corner alone
It takes me back to my childhood again
And as I wait and I look for an answer
To all the things going round in my head
I ask myself could it be a disaster and when
Its maybe threatening to happen again
As the ominous light draws near
Theres a lone dog howls in the park
All the people hurry inside
As a lightning flash lights dark
The storm is nearly here
Only God will know
Youre sitting alone you watch
As the wind is blowing treetops
And the swaying rustling leaves
Plenty of time to perceive
As you wait for rain to fall
Only God knows
The whole sky glows
Maybe lightning strikes twice
Maybe lightning strikes twice

song performed by by Iron Maiden
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rollin On

Orbison/dees
Wagons loaded full up aint got time to pull up
On my way to frisco back to san fransisco
Rolling on rolling on to san fransisco
Rolling on to frisco bay
Rolling on and lady luck is getting bolder
The high sheriff man looking over my shoulder yeah
Rolling on, rolling on, rolling on
Kicking up the hot dust san fransisco or bust
Dont want to delay now hey Im on my way now
Rolling on rolling on to san fransisco
Rolling on to frisco bay
Rolling on and lady luck is getting bolder
The high sheriff man looking over my shoulder yeah
Rolling on,rolling on, rolling on
Born a loser not me aint no troubles got me
Cant afford to be late san fransisco wont wait
Rolling on, rolling on

song performed by by Roy Orbison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Let it Kill

let it kill me and if it doesnt let it try again and again and again till i die, then let it try again and again and finally let it kill me if not then let it try again till i die of pain cause this pain i cannot take, so let it kill until i feel death creep up the corner, let me die with honor or without it just let me die, so let it kill me again and again and if not let it try until i die, for this life i cannot take i have lost all faith so just let me die, let it try to kill me dont set me free come on kill me i refuse mercy or sympathy all i want is death so please let it kill let it send me to death as fast as things go past, let it kill, let it destroy my soul and leave it not whole for i want death, i want death again i say i want death let it kill and if not let it kill again and again till death is all that remain, let it kill

poem by Adens Kamwi
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Farmer's Daughter

I do come from miles away,
Ain't got no place to stay.
Glad to help you plow your fields,
Farmer's daughter.
Might be just a couple of days,
Clean up, rest, and be on my way.
Thank you, madam, much obliged,
Farmer's daughter.
So long, got to leave your land.
Many thanks, it was might grand.
I do hope to see you again,
Farmer's Daughter.
Farmer's Daughter.

song performed by by Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Home invasion in Springs

Masked like the black criminals
that robs you of your car
and just there and there promises you death,
they arrived

with a mini bus taxi on the farm,
drove right through the farm gate
and at the front door
jumped out of the kombi

with five steps intruded into the house
to bring death to the farmer,
to rape the wife
and daughter.

The farmer heard the crash
at the gate,
he realized that it was big trouble
heard them in their own language command

to kill, while shot upon shot
was ringing from the front porch
and he though about the obliteration
of his whole family.

His wife was too far away
in the lounge busy with sewing
and he heard his daughter rushing screaming
to her mother

turned about hurried to the gun safe
and got hold of a pump action shotgun
with LG cartridges
and rushed down the hallway.

In the lounge four black criminals
aimed pistols at his daughter and wife
told them to strip themselves bare
and when they did not want to

one said to the others in his language
to kill them
while the farmer was sneaking
closer at the back of the lounge suite.

Just one glance from the farmer
made his wife and daughter fall to the ground
two shots came from the shotgun
lifting two of the gangsters right from their feet

and the other two started shooting
into the ceiling
and the wall of the lounge
and when the farmer fired again

they fled in fear to the outside
turning around to fire at the farmer
and another one dropped in his tracks,
the other ran wounded into the cornfield.

At the start the police, wanted to arrest
the farmer for the murder of the robbers,
but there was more than enough evidence
that it was self-defence,

even the farm workers
were witnesses
about the shooting, threat
of the robbers

and by his actions
the farmer saved himself, his wife and daughter
and the labourers praised him
as a kind and a just man

but at the church
some members regarded the farmer
as a mass killer
who had determined the fate of others with a shotgun.

poem by Gert Strydom
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A Winter Morning In Gippsland

The wattle wears her cloak of flowers so lovely bright and yellow
But in the paddocks there's no grass and for hay the cattle bellow
It has been frosty over night and the ground with frost is hoary
And the only beauty I can see is the wattle in her glory.

The farmer says too cold and dry as dry as he remember
The Spring will come in late this year and no grass in September
The hereford cow hunched with the cold and she as tough as leather
For two months it's been cold and dry we need a change of weather.

The trainer on the trotting track watch his trotters exercising
And near ten o clock the sun comes out and the temperature starts rising
And across the paddock's uneven ground the old farm tractor rattle
As the farmer brings big bale of hay to feed his hungry cattle.

A Winter morning in Gippsland and for hay the cattle bellow
And the wattle wears her cloak of flowers so lovely, bright and yellow
And the farmer says too cold and dry as dry as he remember
And we need a week or two of rain for grass growth in September.

poem by Francis Duggan
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Rollin' with the Flow

Once was a thought inside my head
Before I'd reach thirty I'd be dead
Now somehow on and on I go
I keep on rolling with the flow
Folks said that I would change my mind
I'd straighten up and do just fine
Ahh, but I still love rock and roll
I keep on rolling with the flow
While guys my age are raising kids
I'm raising hell just like I did
I've got a lot of crazy friends
And they forgive me of my sins
Some might be calling me a bum
But I'm still out there having fun
And Jesus loves me, yes, I know
So, I keep on rolling with the flow
(Keep on rolling with the flow)
While guys my age are raising kids
But I'm raising hell just like I did
I've got a lot of crazy friends
And they forgive me of my sins
Can't take it with you when you're gone
But I want enough to get there on
And I ain't ever growing old
So, I keep on rolling with the flow
(Keep on rolling with the flow)
I ain't ever growing old
If I keep on rolling with the flow
(Keep on rolling, keep on rolling)
Keep on rolling with the flow
(Keep on rolling, keep on rolling)
Keep on rolling with the flow
(Keep on rolling, keep on rolling)

song performed by by Charlie Rich, lyrics by Jerry Hayes from Rollin' with the Flow (May 1977)
Submitted by Jeffrey Kosloske
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