Marriage is about the most expensive way for the average man to get laundry done.
quote by Burt Reynolds
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Average Guy
I aint no christian or no born again saint
I aint no cowboy or marxist d.a.
I aint no criminal or reverend cripple from the right
I am just your average guy, trying to do whats right
Im just your average guy
An average guy
I am just your average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy, Im just your average guy
Im average looking and Im average inside
Im an average lover and I live in an average place
You wouldnt know me if you met me face to face
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
I worry about money and taxes and such
I worry that my livers big and it hurts to the touch
I worry about my health and bowels
And the crime waves in the street
Im really just your average guy
Trying to stand on his own two feet
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average looks, average taste
Average height, an average waist
Average in everything I do
My temperature is 98.2
Im just your average guy
An average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A marriage of two
A marriage of two
is for love that is true
A marriage of two
is always something new
A marriage of two
happens sometimes out of the blue
A marriage of two
is worth it when its due
A marriage of two
is a marriage of trust
Many can find themselves lost
It can be an expensive cost
They are only very few
who have a clue
of when love accrues
A marriage of two
is about love making
It is not about
money raking
A marriage of two
can be bad
A marriage of two
can be sad
You should only be glad if
A marriage of two
is for love that is true
Copyright 2005 - Sylvia Chidi
www.sylviachidi.co.uk
poem by Sylvia Chidi
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I've always said when I broke in I was an average player. I had an average arm, average speed and definitely an average bat. I am still average in all of those.
quote by Brooks Robinson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sappy
And if you say your prayers
You will make God happy
And if you do whats true
You will make me happy
Ill keep you in a jar
And you will seem happy
Ill give you breathing holes
You will think youre happy, now
Youre in a laundry room
Youre in a laundry room
Youre in a laundry room
And if you save yourself
You will make him happy
Hell bring you fine rewards
Then you will feel happy
Ill keep you in my room
Im sure youll be happy
And if you save your soul
You will think youre happy now
Youre in a laundry room
Youre in a laundry room
Youre in a laundry room
Youre in a laundry room
Early version of sappy.
song performed by by Nirvana
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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On Marriage
Pessimistic views: :
Marriage is a gamble!
Marriage is a punishment;
Marriage is an evil that
Most can’t but accept.
Optimistic views:
Marriage is a gift of God;
Marriage is a blessing;
Marriage is an enjoyment,
We make the best of it.
Truths:
Marriage is so wonderful;
Marriage is so fulfilling;
Marriage is so wholesome;
Marriage is an endless love,
More priceless than all wealth!
Marriage is a way of life;
Marriage is so natural;
Marriage is the better way,
For two, to reach Heaven.
Copyright by Dr John Celes 3-7-2006
poem by John Celes
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Tomorrow is the laundry day
Tomorrow is the laundry day
Though tomorrow’s bright and sunshine strikes
Seduce you to play outside
But duty must be priority
Washing the dirty to be clean again
And your day will feel light
After you do that
Tomorrow is the laundry day
Though tomorrow’s cloudy and can’t stop rainy
Bother you with damp laundry
But duty is duty
Washing the dirty so it won’t be stinky
And your day will be bright
After you do that
Tomorrow is the laundry day
Though your laundry is already loaded
And you don’t want to see or touch
But duty must be completed
Washing the dirty so it ready to be used
And your day will feel more comfortable
After you do that
Tomorrow is the laundry day
Though your heart grumbles “Later”
No, do not listen that lazy one
Duty is to be worked not be grouch
Washing is a fun job if your heart happy
And your day will be victory
After you do that
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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At the Altar
Now to take away your life –
Devour your soul afresh upon
The birth of every dawning day
– The spawn of sun and earth –
As of the way Prometheus lost hepatic flesh –
He stole fire! You stole gropes
And f*cks of me; so suffer thee!
Oh yes, perspire! Drizzle down the beads
Upon that crimson, blotchy skin –
I see the once cocksure pose, my man,
Is wearing terribly thin.
Indeed, an absence of repose
Discloses thumping in your chest –
Irregularly rhythmic – like the humping
(When you thought I was a body to molest) .
No more! my little man, for I shall wrest
The living essence from your
Paling, quivering form! –
You’ve had your gentle calm
Before the rumblings of the storm!
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
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poem by Mark R Slaughter
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Wife to Be (Petrarchan Sonnet)
I stroll along a fragrant country lane
With honeysuckle perfume on the air -
And feathered crooner's warble to revere -
Then cross a golden sea of flowing grain
In empathy - it seems to sense my pain
Of knowing all was done with my affair -
Her empty meaning now the solitaire
She cast away - betrothment all in vain.
But oceans team with many fish to catch
So I must up and hoist another sail
And seek the one that really waits for me,
For soon auspicious breezes will prevail
In guiding forth to find a truer match:
The one to take my hand as wife to be.
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
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sonnet
poem by Mark R Slaughter
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The Ballade Of The Average Reader
I try to touch the public taste,
For thus I earn my daily bread.
I try to write what folks will paste
In scrap books after I am dead.
By Public Craving I am led.
(I' sooth, a most despotic leader)
Yet, though I write for Tom and Ned,
I've never seen an average reader.
The Editor is good and chaste,
But says: (Above the public's head;
This is _too_ good; 'twill go to waste.
Write something commonplacer-
Ed.)
Write for the average reader, fed
By pre-digested near-food's feeder,
But though my high ideals have fled,
I've never _seen_ an average reader.
How many lines have been erased!
How many fancies have been shed!
How many failures might be traced
To this-this average-reader dread!
I've seen an average single bed;
I've seen an average garden-weeder;
I've seen an average cotton thread-
I've _never_ seen an average _reader_.
L'ENVOI
Most read of readers, if you've read
The works of any old succeeder,
You know that he, too, must have said:
'I've never seen an Average Reader.'
poem by Franklin P. Adams
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Dirty Laundry
I make my living off the Evening News
Just give me something-something I can use
People love it when you lose,
They love dirty laundry
Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundry
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em all around
We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who
comes on at five
She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam
in her eye
It's interesting when people die-
Give us dirty laundry
Can we film the operation?
Is the heir dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set!
We need dirty laundry
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're stiff
Kick 'em all around
Dirty little secrets
Dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry
We can do "The Innuendo"
We can dance and sing
When it's said and done we haven't told you a thing
We all know that Crap is King
Give us dirty laundry!
song performed by by Lisa Marie Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Extraordinary
You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write
To you, to make you love me
Yeah, I'd drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To you, to make you love me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
You may not believe in me
But I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you?
So dig a little deeper, cause
You still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you love me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do?
Have you ever thought it's you that's boring?
Who the hell are you?
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
song performed by by Liz Phair
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dirty Laundry
I make my living off the evening news
Just give me something-something I can use
People love it when you lose,
They love dirty laundry
Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here
I just have to look good, I dont have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundry
Kick em when theyre up
Kick em when theyre down
Kick em when theyre up
Kick em when theyre down
Kick em when theyre up
Kick em when theyre down
Kick em when theyre up
Kick em all around
We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who
Comes on at five
She can tell you bout the plane crash with a gleam
In her eye
Its interesting when people die-
Give us dirty laundry
Can we film the operation?
Is the head dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a
Running bet
Get the widow on the set!
We need dirty laundry
You dont really need to find out whats going on
You dont really want to know just how far its gone
Just leave well enough alone
Eat your dirty laundry
Kick em when theyre up
Kick em when theyre down
Kick em when theyre up
Kick em when theyre down
Kick em when theyre up
Kick em when theyre down
Kick em when theyre stiff
Kick em all around
Dirty little secrets
Dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybodys pie
We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry
We can do the innuendo
We can dance and sing
When its said and done we havent told you a thing
We all know that crap is king
Give us dirty laundry!
song performed by by Don Henley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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How marriage ruins a man! It is as demoralizing as cigarettes, and far more expensive.
quote by Oscar Wilde
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Video
Sometimes I shave my legs and sometimes I dont
Sometimes I comb my hair and sometimes I wont
Depend on how the wind blows I might even paint my toes
It really just depends on whatever feels good in my soul
Im not the average girl from your video
And I aint built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
Im not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what Im wearing I will always be india aria
When I look in the mirror the only one there is me
Every freckle on my face is where its supposed to be
And I know our creator didnt make no mistakes on me
My feet, my thighs, my lips, my eyes; Im lovin what I see
Im not the average girl from your video
And I aint built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
Im not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what Im wearing I will always be india aria
Am I less of a lady if I dont wear pantyhose?
My mama said a lady aint what she wears but, what she knows
But, Ive drawn a conclusion, its all an illusion, confusions the name of the
Game
A misconception, a vast deception
Somethings gotta change
Dont be offended this is all my opinion
Aint nothing that Im sayin law
This is a true confession of a life learned lesson I was sent here to share wit
Yall
So get in where you fit in go on and shine
Free your mind, nows the time
Put your salt on the shelf
Go on and love yourself
cuz everythings gonna be all right
Im not the average girl from your video
And I aint built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
Im not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what Im wearing I will always be india aria
Keep your fancy drinks and your expensive minks
I dont need that to have a good time
Keep your expensive car and your caviar
All I need is my guitar
Keep your crisp style and your pistol
Id rather have a pretty piece of crystal
Dont need your silicon I prefer my own
What God gave me is just fine
Im not the average girl from your video
And I aint built like a supermodel
But, I learned to love myself unconditionally
Because I am a queen
Im not the average girl from your video
My worth is not determined by the price of my clothes
No matter what Im wearing I will always be india aria
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
If you find some error in the lyrics,
Would you please submit the right lyrics to me? thank you.
The lyrics is provided by carrie [email protected]
song performed by by India Arie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Marriage Of Two Is For Love That Is True
A marriage of two is for love that is true
A marriage of two is always something new
A marriage of two happens sometimes out of the blue
A marriage of two is worth it when it’s due
A marriage of two is a marriage of trust
They are only very few who have a clue of when love accrues
A marriage of two is about love making
It is not about money raking
You should only be glad if
A marriage of two is for love that is true
poem by Bikramjyoti Kashyop
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A marriage of two is for love that is true...
A marriage of two is for love that is true
A marriage of two is always something new
A marriage of two happens sometimes out of the blue
A marriage of two is worth it when it’s due
A marriage of two is a marriage of trust
They are only very few who have a clue of when love accrues
A marriage of two is about love making
It is not about money raking
You should only be glad if
A marriage of two is for love that is true
poem by Shashidhar Kumar
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What is marriage, is marriage protection or religion, is marriage renunciation or abundance, is marriage a stepping-stone or an end. What is marriage.
quote by Gertrude Stein
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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First Year University Expereinces
I learned why it is not wise to skip class often
I learned that skipping homework in university is not the same as skipping homework in high school
I learned what it feels like to be awake for over 2 days
I learned how to smoke pot from a bong
I learned how to compose an essay the day before it's due
I learned that the Freshman 15 is no joke
I learned how to do laundry
I learned to pretend to be happy
I learned to multitask
I learned to be more sociable
I learned why my parents and teachers warned me about the difficulty of university
I learned that failing is expensive
I learned small things, like freshly washed bed sheets, make me happy
I learned to lie
I learned how expensive alcohol is
I learned what it feels like to be a failure
I type this rant while skipping my business ethics class as I further delay the composition of my psychology term paper
poem by Michelle Cow
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Song: An Average Cyber Hero
I'm your average cyber hero;
I don't exist in space.
My algorithm's zero.
I lack all human grace.
I'm your average cyber hero;
And I know my cyber place.
But my wheels are real and turning,
And burning up apace.
I'm your average cyber hero,
Writ in glyph of lower case.
An avatar of Nero,
With a second life and face.
I'm your average cyber hero,
With a cryptic clue to trace;
And I'll out-google Google,
With an engine cued to chase.
I'm your average cyber hero;
But you may think me more.
In the binaries of Zeno,
I'm both paradox and law.
I am the master gatekeeper,
I open many doors
Of perception, in this nano
World, of educated spores.
I'm your average cyber hero.
And I have no warming breath.
I endure a kind of limbo,
That's near to living death.
I'm your average cyber hero,
And I'll dive your hidden depths,
To the clearest seas I've seen below,
Your permafrost and steppes.
I'm your average cyber hero,
Who explores the world within.
A giant, not a minnow,
But a true leviathan.
I'm your average cyber hero,
And I'll plumb your secret well,
To plunge like Captain Nemo,
From a fate not unlike hell.
I'm your average cyber hero.
I'm the ghost in your machine.
Both as sleuth and dogged shadow,
You'll not escape unseen.
I'm your average cyber hero,
You dismiss by barb and scoff;
But I know your craven credo,
Won't let you turn me off!
poem by David SmithWhite
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For the first time ever, overweight people outnumber average people in America. Doesn't that make overweight the average then? Last month you were fat, now you're average - hey, let's get a pizza!