Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
quote by George Orwell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
quote by George Orwell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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How To Make You Funny?
How to make you funny?
And you are always funny,
You hide it and
It is still funny,
And that makes me laugh.
How to make you serious?
And you can not be serious,
Funny is funny,
And being seriously funny is not that funny,
And you laugh.
How to tell you a joke?
And you are the funniest joke
That makes you more funny and serious
While you are drinking and thinking
At the risk
Of spilling the juice of your lips
At my laugh.
poem by Atef Ayadi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Sense Of Humor
listen to a joke
just listen and then don't mind the face of the teller
just listen and then something clicks
and you catch something funny
and you laugh
keep the joke and dissect it
let is stay
retell it to yourself or even to your friend
retell it how many times to him
and let him write it
you see there is no click anymore
something funny was lost
because you want to keep it
because you want to let it stay in you
one thing with a joke is that it must
always be something new
one that you have not heard before
i tell you, it is just like a poem
thereis this switch, a clicking
and then something happens
how can you tell it? you can't
tell it and then it is gone
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It Is A Joke
it is a joke
and it will always be
a joke
that how it is,
it is a joke, my own joke, and i laugh
when i remember it,
i send it to you and you send it back
like a ping-pong ball
it bounces and i see it coming
back to me
it hits me right in my eyes
got double vision, cross-eyed
i am hurt. It is not a joke anymore.
it is here beside
a tear, a bruise, stained and scarred.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lies
Baby
What do I do
Playing my tune for you
Just to get you in the mood
Everybodys going to hollywood
Youre driving me mad
But Im smiling to the crowd instead
A lot of money is at stake, this is a hit and thats a fake
This is what you mean to me
This is what they all should see
Make a make up in a foolish style
Telling the truth by making a big lie
When I come, I come but nothings at ease
Breaking up the whole is a modern disease
Maybe you think tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
My love
Everythings an interview
And nothings really new
And everybodys looking for clues and you know what to do with a clue
My love
Get ready for the show
Theyre waiting and they will never go
This night is just a go
And its only for show
Dig that deal and be a millionaire
Drinking cocktails in the stratosphere
Getting jetlagged with my business friends in these supersonic wonderlands
Theres a flicker on the graphic display, first hes smiling then hes fading away
Maybe he thinks tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
Gold/1984
song performed by by Alphaville
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stand-Up Comedians
Stand-up comedians so funny
Joke around to earn their money
They’re never funny sitting down
But when standing vertically upright
Their comedic humor is out of sight
Funny-ing as they act like stand-up clowns
They just can’t be funny or sassy
Sitting on their sorry assy’s
Perpendicular they invite loud guffaws
And with their joke-around renditions
In their stand-around positions
They welcome all appreciative applause
When they’re on stage it is behooved
To have all the sit-down chairs removed
So they can fill the halls with tons of laughter
So these stand-up fools so funny
Can earn rafts of funny money
The house is filled with laughs up to the rafter
poem by Stanley Cooper
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It is — or seems to be — a wise sort of thing, to realise that all that happens to a man in this life is only by way of joke, especially his misfortunes, if he have them. And it is also worth bearing in mind, that the joke is passed round pretty liberally & impartially, so that not very many are entitled to fancy that they in particular are getting the worst of it.
quote by Herman Melville
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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That Joke to Some
That joke told and thought funny by some...
No longer brings with it smirks.
Or the half smiles on faces.
A seriousness upon them lurks.
And they wonder...
From where the echoed laughter comes,
Surrounding their startled hearts.
The sound of it frightens.
And unfamiliar to anyone!
Has something once done to undermine...
Discovered it was them all this time?
Finding it a thrill to haunt their minds,
This time.
Someone amongst them has elected to stun!
Someone victimized by their tactics...
And missed with them to have their fun.
And that joke told and thought once funny by some?
Seems to now only satisify just one...
Who masquerades in a vengeance of delight.
Knowing their misdeeds done then...
Keeps them in cold sweats in taunted sleepless nights.
Fearing 'what' or 'who' has found whatever they did offensive.
They have forgotten which joke had been told.
And which 'fool' they picked...
They believed then had been defenseless!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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911 Is A Joke
Now I dialed nine one one a long time ago
Dont you see how late theyre reactin
They only come, and they come when they wanna
So get the morgue truck em back the goner
They dont care cause they stay paid anyway
They treat you like an ace that cant be betrayed
I know you stumble with no use people
If your life is on the line, then youre dead today
Late comings with the late comin stretcher -
Thats a body bag in disguise - yall Ill betcha
I call em body snatchers
Quick they come to fetch you -
With an autopsy ambulance just to dissect ya
They are the kings cos they swing amputation
Lose your arms your legs the famous compilation
I can prove it to you watch the rotation
It all adds up to a funky situation
Get up, get get down
911 is a joke in yo town
Get up, get get down
Late 911 wears the late crown
(chorus)
(ow)
911 is a joke , 911 is a joke
Everyday they dont never come correct
You can ask my man right here with the broken neck
Hes a witness to the job never bein done
He wouldve been in full effect , 911
Is a joke because their always jokin
They the token to your life when its croakin
They need to be in a pawn shop on a 911 -
Is a joke we dont want em
I call a cab cause a cab will come quicker
The doctors huddle up and call a flea flicker
The reason that I say that cause they
Flick you off like fleas
They be laughin at ya while youre crawlin on our knees
And to the strength, so go the length
Thinkin you are first when you really are tenth
You better wake up and smell the real flavor
Cause 911 is a fake life saver
(chorus) (chorus)
Ow, ow 911 is a joke
911 is a joke,
911 is a joke,
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke.
(get up, get get down)
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke
(get up, get get down)
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke
(get up, get get down)
Ooooh, yeahh
song performed by by Duran Duran
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nobody Spoke (for Karen)
Nobody spoke to Lucy,
nobody spoke at all,
ain't no joke
nobody spoke.
nobody spoke
for five long years
ain't no joke
nobody spoke.
Lucy withdrew
without a clue
why nobody spoke,
nobody spoke
for five long years,
nobody spoke
Ain't no joke
nobody spoke!
Lucy went mad
she went crazy!
She screamed
she cried, she sobbed,
but nobody spoke,
for five long years
Ain't no joke
nobody spoke.
Many years later
she saw them,
those people she wanted
to be her friends.
but ain't no joke
nobody spoke,
nobody spoke
for five long years.
Ain't no joke
nobody spoke.
Lucy left a note
in daddy's drawer,
put on her very best dress.
Did her hair in a very fine way
and walked into the hall as a guest.
She walked up to the folk
that never spoke,
said hello in an ordinary way,
then she pulled out a gun
and opened fire.
Yes she shot all those folk
on that day.
Now they were silent
now they were still,
cos ain't no joke
that nobody spoke
and now
they never will.
poem by Ruth Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Winter Of '95
do you remember when we
used to talk on the phone for hours,
or just kill time by
counting stars before we went to sleep?
do you still think I'm funny?
do you... still think I am?
well, at least to one of us.(x2)
sometimes I get a little out of hand.
I've made so many friends, so many plans,
a million people and too much time
that I don't have.
the joke's on you... I don't understand myself.
the joke's on you... I meant it the whole time.
song performed by by New Found Glory
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sentence of All
Hunt a sentence this day to the next,
One can not find a finer one
Than the very joke I have reasoned with.
What is this joke? What is that joke?
I can not see anyone with flowers,
But I see everyone with words
And they differ: ever so much.
A sentence such as this is enough
And what is this humorous one?
It is the very subject and predicate of our souls -
“Sentences are written not said.”
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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(I Remember) When Suicide Was Just a Joke
Do you know what I’d give
What I got, what I’d give to go back?
Do you know that I’d give
Up my life just as easy as anything?
And we pass and your voice
Like a death grip on my heart attack
It’s so superficial
Such a f**king w***e don’t care about anything
[Chorus]
Hate is a word that describes what this
In a hall emptied up I’m a name on a list
Of a laundry bag filled with glass I punch with my fist
I remember
When suicide was just a joke
I believed what you said
You believed that I’d always be clean
A fresh slate of my arms
Couldn’t take the days that I hurt for you
Maybe if you weren’t so cruel
I wouldn’t ‘ve had to feel the pain
And if you weren’t so good lookin’
Maybe I wouldn’t want to die
[Chorus]
When suicide was just a joke [X2]
Well everybody knows you’re the one to call
When the girls get ugly on the back of the wall
You’re a polysaccharidal leaching germ to my brain
The camera sees the one thing leaving
Do you know what it is
To make stop dropp offs of misery?
And when I tell you I feel
Do you know that I’d really rather go?
A mixed media chart
Tracing cold hard lies of my history
Yes I scream in the night
Because of you, I’ve never felt so low
[Chorus]
When suicide was just a joke
(I remember)
When suicide was just a joke
(I remember)
When suicide was just a joke
[Spoken: This life was so funny]
When suicide was just a joke
[Take back your f**king things]
When suicide was just a joke
[I remember all your lies]
When suicide was just a joke
(fade out)
poem by Christopher's Dead
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It was a JOB; the video show was a JOB; you don't tell the Aristocrats joke at 8 o'clock at night on network tv, it would be funny though. But those guys know I like dirty stuff, I like clean stuff too.
Funny Dude
Funny dude
I love seeing you smile but I hate the way you treat me as if I were your personal clown. I treat you like a queen in which my heart she ruled but you treat like your royal fool. Tell a joke get a laugh ask a question no reply. I wish laughter was currency because your heart I would buy. I still try to keep you happy even if its my worst day but other days I feel like your attention isn't pay as if you were stealing my time to entertain your mind. Ha he is so funny and kinda cute but from looking at his personality he's not the one for you. Its all fun until someone falls in love. I tell a joke everybody laugh and once that's over I go back to being sad. Its easy for me to fall in love with you but its hard for anybody to love that Funny dude...
poem by LaDarius Washington
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Kinda Like No Snow On Christmas
HAD a great day today,
found myself a funny
joke, , , , laughed untill i
cried, then i had to spit
it out,
the tast was a restless
sleep, kinda like no snow
on christmas,
HAD a strange night, saw
my friends burn some toast,
ended up in a pickle, or was
that a funny joke,
the tast was a restless sleep,
kinda like no snow on christmas, ,
poem by David Gerardino
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Edit The Sad Parts
Sometimes all I really want to feel is love
Sometimes Im angry that I feel so angry
Sometimes my feelings get in the way
Of what I really feel I needed to say
If you stand in a circle
Then youll all have a back to bite
Back logged voices on the 7 wonders
Were all so funny but hes lost his joke now
A communication from the one lined joke
A stand up comic and a rock musician
Making so much noise you dont know when to listen
Why are you judging people so damn hard
Youre taking your point of views a bit too far
I made my shoes shine with my coal
But my polish didnt shine the hole
If you stand in a circle
Then youll all have a back to bite
(back? ) long books on the 7 wonders
Were all so funny but hes lost his joke now
Our communications come from one lined joke
From stand up comics and a rock musicians
Making so much noise you dont know when to listen
Think it over
Theres the air of the height of the highrollers
Think it over
You aint got nothing till ya know her
song performed by by Modest Mouse
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's funny
It's funny
how you're the one who is scared
its funny
how I am the only one who cared.
It's funny
how you are running around, evading me, trying and hoping that all this would be the best for me.
It's funny
how none of this is funny.
We've been friends for mad long, since when could you never tell when something is wrong.
'Bros before hoes' isn't that what they say.
No chick should get in the way.
since when does my words me nothing to you.
Don't you remember the shit we've been through.
It's my gender, that's what makes it different.
Because I am a girl, and you are a guy.
Cause I feel for you, I still don't know why.
This bull is all because of this.
I want you to look at me in the eye,
talk true to me to my face
look at me when I cry.
this is your punishment
you have to look at me at a lower place.
what you did was weak. Lying to me, not even to my face.
don't get mad because I am mad.
cause you are you and I am me, yet who is this that I see.
The guy I am looking at is a joke.
Because it isn't cute when you look at me and you make me believe
that I could trust you and you could trust me,
yet it is obvious now that that can not be.
It's funny
how you're the one who is scared
its funny
how I am the only one who cared.
It's funny
how you are running around, evading me, trying and hoping that all this would be the best for me.
It's funny
how none of this is funny.
poem by Jennifer Gordon
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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All I Want To Do
(chorus)
I don't like the work but true I need the money
My life is like a joke but to me is isn't funny
Peolpe all around, telling me what to do
And all I want to do is stay at home with you
Time after time I say to myself
Working all my life isn't good for my health
Get old, get tired, get put on the shelf
I do all the work, someone else gets all the wealth
Wish I was on an island in the sun
Where I woouldn't have to worry how to get things done
(chorus)
I don't like the work but true I need the money
My life is like a joke but to me is isn't funny
Peolpe all around, telling me what to do
And all I want to do is stay at home with you
Day after day becomes more of a grind
Bills pile up, moneys harder to find
Trying to get ahead money's harder to find
If I don't give it up i'm gonna lose my mind
Wish I was on an island in the sun
Where I wouldn't have to worry how to get things done
(chorus)
I don't like the work but true I need the money
My life is like a joke but to me is isn't funny
Peolpe all around, telling me what to do
And all I want to do is stay at home with you
song performed by by Ub40
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Party In A One Horse Town
It’s just me tonight that props the bar
Just arrived, didn’t come far
Decided on a party; had to be done
Gonna have my way, have my fun
Otherwise I’ll be feeling down
Party in a one horse town
Just me and Mr. Jukebox; party for fun
If I was the bullet she was the gun
She was the judge and I was the crime
She shot me down in my prime
The joke’s on me, I’m the clown
Party in a one horse town
I think I’ll have another just to help me sleep
Can’t leave now I’m in too deep
Funny how the wound gets bigger
Long after she pulled that trigger
The joke’s on me, I’m the clown
Here’s to the party in the one horse town
Here’s to the parting, one more for the road
I’ve finally figured out the secret code
One more dance to a different song
The wound’s as deep as the day is long
The joke’s on me, I’m the clown
Well here’s to the party in a one horse town
poem by Kris Whelan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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