My nutritionist always said to eat whatever you want.
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Train like an athlete, eat like a nutritionist, sleep like a baby, win like a champion!
unknown author
Submitted by Micheleflowerbomb
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Floundering
(carly simon)
First she sees her hypnotist
When she rushes to her psychiatrist
She sees her acupuncturist
Shes got to got to get fixed
Then she sees her scientologist
Gets fed by her nutritionist
She can not seem to resist
Seeking cosmic consciousness
Chorus:
Looks like shes floundering again
Seems to be floundering again
Looks like shes floundering again
Seems to be floundering again
She swears by jack la lanne
Then she throws the I ching again
She searches in the himalayas
For someone to ease the pain
Chorus
Shes looking for a cure
She does not know exactly what for
Chorus
Shes into political activism
Reading up on tibetan buddism
Anna freuds analysed her dreams
And shes hoarse from primal screams
Chorus
song performed by by Carly Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Complete Fool
'For clarification purposes...
Let me say this,
I am not an idiot.
Nor have I ever been an idiot!
I love brown rice.
I have always loved brown rice.
And those accusations to the contrary
Are hurtful allegations
To erode my many years of public service!
That I kept this to myself...
And away from those who trusted my decisions,
For more than fourty years...
I did so in the hopes that the gas I passed
Would go away!
It did so in past encounters!
When at the time,
I chose to wear my open toed sandals!
For that...
I regret.
I know now I should have worn my wingtips!
I repeat...
I am not an idiot.
I have never been an idiot.
I love brown rice.
I have always loved brown rice.
That I pleaded guilty...
I deeply regret!
And have since sought counseling
From a noted nutritionist,
To help me with my diet!
And decide how to best deal with this situation.
And again...
With the hopes that I am totally convincing...
I am not an idiot.
Nor have I ever been an idiot.
I love brown rice.
I have always loved brown rice.
I may be a complete fool...
But an idiot,
I am not! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hate is Such a Strong Word
I hate my life.
I hate that we have to eat whatever my parents want
Everyday
Even though I usually don't like it
They don't care
I hate that I don't live up to the standards set by my brother
And parents
I hate that I'm the stupidest one in my family
And they tell me
I hate that I'm not pretty.
I hate that I am fat.
I hate that people try to tell me that I am pretty
And that I'm thin
I'm not
They won't get over it
I hate that I can't get over little things.
I hate that boys never like me.
None have
I think they're really sweet sometimes
But they all just like my friends.
I hate that all of my friends are pretty,
And nice,
And smart.
And it makes me feel really subpar.
Even though they have no idea how much it hurts.
I hate that my friends get all the attention.
I hate that I'm insecure.
I hate that I have had an eating disorder.
I hate that I'm depressed.
I hate that I am too embarrassed
So I don't go see a nutritionist
Doctor said so.
I hate that I can't cry.
I hate that I blow things out of proportion.
I hate that I am such a drama queen.
I hate that everyone is better at things than I am-
Singing.
School.
I hate that I still have glasses.
I hate that I am so uncomfortable in my own skin
And am scared to let people see the real me.
I hate that I hate so many things.
I hate that people think no one cares-
When for me they really don't.
I hate that I have absolutely zero confidence in myself.
I hate that I've thought about committing suicide.
And that I'm such a teenage cliché.
I hate that my grandfather is dead
It's not his fault he died so near a national holiday
And no one seems to notice how much it is affecting me.
I hate that my family is always stressed out.
I hate that if my parents read this
They probably would pretend to care
Then would go and complain about how horrible I am
And how I take everything for granted.
I hate that everyone else in my family can seem happy.
I hate that I am a selfish spoiled bitch
Because I don't try to be
I hate that I don't know what to do anymore.
I hate that I'm so confused.
I hate that I hate my life.
poem by Jennie Scheihing
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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