Being appointed Elder Professor meant very much taking over the shop, in that the professor in those days controlled all the moneys.
quote by John Henry Carver
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Man in hysterics
Poor Mom bought for him,
he has sold all to a second hand book-shop.
Algebra, Physics, Chemistry, Biology, Zoology,
McMilan's World Atlas and et cetera.,
He hurried to a Pub for a tranquilizer.
On his way he memorized the gypsy palm reader
who was at the book-maker's stall.
One day read his palm and told
'definitely you will be a professor in a college'.
After a few gulps, while he was returning home
passing the university,
all of a sudden shouted in the public
'where is the professor?
Oh! my poor mom's professor'.
to my friend Max Reif.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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We think of the noble object for which the professor appears tonight, we may be assured that the Lord will forgive any one who will laugh at the professor.
quote by Stephen Leacock
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Professor Nutbutters House Of Treats
Cmon kiddies gather round. whos your foremost friend in town?
From main to maple the name resounds, professor nutbutter.
Hes the one, the humble one, the barkley county prodigal son.
Here to serve only you, professor nutbutter.
At old nutbutters house of treats from jellied jams to sacks of
Sweets,
Theres creamy and nutatious spreads for all.
Chemist, master of entomology the professor for a modest fee
Will cure what ails you, guaranteed professor nutbutter.
Its alright, dont fear the worm.
Cmon kiddies dont be shy be youthful til the day you die.
The man the myth, the magic of professor nutbutter.
Hes the one the only one the meeklybville prodigal son.
Here to help us with ourselves, professor nutbutter
Its alright to fear the worm.
[its all right to fear the worm. the worm, the worm is our friend.
Um, but not all of the properties of the worm can be, uh, fully,
Fully, well, appreciated by the, uh, the human body itself, but, um
Its, its, its, its ok to, to fear the worm. um, i, myself, have
Had no, uh, problems with the worm but in a certain situation, uh, i
Would feel like, what, what, uh, ramifications, um, could occur? uh,
Theres, theres really no need to, uh, to fear much of anything, you
Know. fear of the, fear of the temptation is a, more, probably, more,
More, appropriate word in this particular scenario. um, the, uh,
Well, it, depends on what you want, I suppose. it really depends on,
On what you want.]
song performed by by Primus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Another Skin Colour
The professor has got another skin colour on his face,
But we need to help him to soklve this problem in the name of peace and love,
And like lovely actors playing it safe in the land of peace and joy!
The professor has got another skin of his face!
So, the Doctor need to take care of it to satisfy his muse of love around;
However, Father yahweh will surely lead the way always,
For, His Mercy and Sincere Love endures forever! !
And, He is all that i do hope in to treat this professor.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Librarian
A licentious university English professor
Who goes to a library not to read exactly?
This nutty professor instead of reading
Who stays in a fantasy with the beautiful lass?
He spent his entire lonely life as a bachelor.
She got married to one of his students.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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Professor XYZ!
The night was so long!
And the Professor was at work;
With the red soil,
With the vine,
And, with the muse of the wine.
Professor XYZ!
University fees,
To disclose it;
Past, present, future! !
Bush, brush, push;
And with the muse of the wine.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Sestina Otiosa
Our great work, the Otia Merseiana,
Edited by learned Mister Sampson,
And supported by Professor Woodward,
Is financed by numerous Bogus Meetings
Hastily convened by Kuno Meyer
To impose upon the Man of Business.
All in vain! The accomplished Man of Business
Disapproves of Otia Merseiana,
Turns his back on Doctor Kuno Meyer;
Cannot be enticed by Mister Sampson,
To be present at the Bogus Meetings,
Though attended by Professor Woodward.
Little cares the staid Professor Woodward:
He, being something of a man of business,
Knows that not a hundred Bogus Meetings
To discuss the Otia Merseiana
Can involve himself and Mister Sampson
In the debts of Doctor Kuno Meyer.
So the poor deluded Kuno Meyer,
Unenlightened by Professor Woodward --
Whom, upon the word of Mister Sampson,
He believes to be a man of business
Fit to run the Otia Merseiana --
Keeps on calling endless Bogus Meetings.
Every week has now its Bogus Meetings,
Punctually convened by Kuno Meyer
In the name of Otia Merseiana:
Every other week Professor Woodward
Takes his place, and, as a man of business,
Audits the accounts with Mister Sampson.
He and impecunious Mister Sampson
Are the mainstay of the Bogus Meetings;
But the alienated Man of Business
Cannot be allured by Kuno Meyer
To attend and meet Professor Woodward,
Glory of the Otia Merseiana.
Kuno Meyer! Great Professor Woodward!
Bogus Meetings damn, for men of business,
Mister Sampson's Otia Merseiana.
poem by Sir Walter Raleigh
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Professor ABC!
Free hands!
Free style!
Little, big!
The night was very short;
But, the meat must be well salted.
Professor ABC!
Without the sun there is no wine;
Sweet candy!
Manifesto,
The soil is needed for a better wine.
Tendency,
Tertiary,
Professor ABC!
To touch it,
To feel it,
To top it;
But, the sun needs the water.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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I have also been attacked by my opponents as someone seeking to purge university faculties of leftist professors. This is false. The first provision of the Academic Bill of Rights is that no professor should be hired or fired because of his or her political views. I have never myself called for the firing of any professor for his or her political views, nor would I.
quote by David Horowitz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Purist
I give you now Professor Twist,
A conscientious scientist,
Trustees exclaimed, "He never bungles!"
And sent him off to distant jungles.
Camped on a tropic riverside,
One day he missed his loving bride.
She had, the guide informed him later,
Been eaten by an alligator.
Professor Twist could not but smile.
"You mean," he said, "a crocodile."
poem by Ogden Nash
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The Mind Of A Woman And Three Other Things
The old professor said,
'There are four things which you can`t understand ever,
They are: - the fortune of a man,
The mind of a woman,
The speed of a horse and direction of wind'.
We debated, but realised little.
We were practical and pro-feministic.
The old professor died
Leaving his words ever alive.
Four truths of a life time.
You call a man fortunate- you will see his end,
You bet on a strong horse- a frail one will win,
And you tell a woman, ' I can`t undersand you',
She will just smile at you and
The wind will go astray.
poem by M.d Dinesh Nair
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Insomnia
The old retired psychiatrist
Professor 'Euphoria' who awakes in the middle of the night.
Nowadays he was copying Idioms.
He complains of an acute pain in his body.
But he is not aware of the exact place.
He visits a young dentist Dr.So-Called
and forced him to extract his cavity tooth?
He did a thorough check and found it was a denture.
Then he said 'Nothing wrong with your teeth
anyhow I'll refer you to the prominent psychiatrist Professor Euphoria?
I have heard about him and his talents
from my patients'.
To poet Martin.Turner
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga
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Little Hans
Lead vocal: graham dye
Little hans, little hans, what do you see?
The worlds is full of big surprises
Little hans, little hans, what can they be?
They come in many shapes and sizes
Little boys always love to play
But something is not quite right
Little hans wont come out today
Hes scared of a horse that might bite
Little hans, little hans, what can it be?
Your thoughts are filled with such confusion
Little hans, little hans when will you see?
Youre barking up the wrong conclusion
Professor man asks him oh so nicely
Why will you not come out?
Little hans tells him most politely
What he is thinking about
A ride in a tram, a lily white lamb, raspberry jam
Little hans, little hans, where will you go?
The world is full of compromises
Little hans, little hans, how will you know?
The come in many strange disguises
Professor man shakes his head and wonders
How will he work it out?
Little hans tells him quite precisely
What hes been dreaming about
I jump in the bath, I make myself laugh, I ride a giraffe
Little hans, little hans, I found a clue
I think Ive made the right connection
Little hans, little hans, all I can do
Is give a common sense injection
Little boys grow up just like daddy
Professor man has no doubt
Little hans goes to sleep and wonders
What he was talking about
song performed by by Alan Parsons Project
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Alf’s Sixth Bit
Let some new lying ass,
Who knows not what is or was,
Talk economics,
Pay for his witless noise,
Get the kid nice new toys,
Call him 'professor'.
Lies from the specialist
Give t'old ones a newer twist
Harder to untie.
Here comes the hired gang
Blood on each tired fang
Covered with lip-stick.
'Oh, what a charming man,'
That's how the press blurb ran,
'Professor K s is.'
Now they can't fire him.
NO! they won't hire him.
Still Dr. S 's
Not tied to the ring around,
Not quite snowed under.
Being a physicist
They can't quite bribe him:
Oh, what a noise they made
Those parliamentarians.
Oh what a fuss they made
Stirring the marmalade
These parliamentarians
Never an honest word
In their dim halls was heard
For more than a decade.
poem by Ezra Pound
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My Friend The Professor
Because he was my friend
I will not mention his name
But this brief story lends
So much mystery, just the same.
We all rented that apartment
In separate units of nine-
Near the school where we sent
Our children, to save time.
But life had its testings,
And my friend, the Professor
Found his health had been failing
Soon he needed a doctor.
But the biopsy was grim
Unfortunate and not hopeful,
His chances were quite slim
And the prospects were so awful.
The cancer had advanced-
Surgery was probable,
So he took a last chance
But his end was predictable.
He would walk the early mornings
In our wide tree-lined street
A daily scene repeating
To all the people he that he meets.
He regretted dying early
For his children were still young
He would beg God sincerely
Prayed he'd live more years on.
In three months, he was gone
And we soon missed the sight
Of the Professor's walking, done
In the early morning light.
But soon stories went around
Told by many who had seen
The late 'Professor' was found-
To walk the lane where he had been.
--
Co pyright Cynthia Buhain -Baello
February 17,2010
Philippines
poem by Cynthia Buhain-Baello
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Keep Humour
Face the distress of modernity with humour,
And describe it to your professor.
He will help and his willing support
Has let you face the world that exists
With magnificence and beauty.
A beauty is inside the world
When it has been exercised by leaders
Who remake it, fashion it and never molest it.
Humour is the ability to stay where you are
And not involve yourself in politics.
Face the distress of modernity with humour,
And describe it to your professor.
poem by Naveed Akram
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Whether You Pay Attention To Me Or Not
Being proud and showing this,
With self respect...
Seems not to be encouraged.
When insolence is all one gets.
With an exhibited effrontery,
Audaciously flagrant and reckless...
The temperity of it,
Embitters one into a concealed silence.
'Professor?
Professor, sir...
IF you are implying we are rude,
Many of us would appreciate it if you say so.
Since we have no idea how upset we should be.
You give us no clue if we should be angry...
And/or to what degree.
Or continue to believe you are insulting us.
I mean...
REALLY insulting our intelligence with your comments.
Either way...
You did get our attention.'
This is 'your' education.
Not mine.
Remember that!
Whether you pay attention to me or not...
I am still going to cash a check!
You all understand what that means,
I'm sure.
Now...
Are you ready to pay attention?
Or waste 'your' time?
All of my educational loans,
Have long been paid.
And 'daddy and mommy' didn't do it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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(The System Of) Doctor Tarr And Professor Fether
Just what you need to make you feel better
Just what you need to make you feel
Just what you need to make you feel better
Just what you need to make you feel
At the far end of your tether
And your thoughts won't fit together
So you sleep light or whatever
And the night goes on forever
Then your mind change like the weather
You're in need of Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether
Just what you need to make you feel better
Just what you need to make you feel
Just what you need to make you feel better
Just what you need to make you feel
Even clouds seem bright and breezy
'Cause the livin' is free and easy
See the rat race of a new way
Like you're wakin' up to a new day
It's a wise thing if you're clever
Take a lead from Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether
Find the end of a rainbow
Fly wherever the winds blow
Laugh at life like a sideshow
Just what you need to make you feel better
Satisfaction altogether
Guaranteed by Doctor Tarr and Professor Fether
Find the end of a rainbow
Fly wherever the winds blow
Laugh at life like a sideshow
Just what you need to make you feel better
Don't stop bringin' the girls 'round
Don't start havin' a showdown
Keep on handin' the jug 'round
All that you need is wine and good company
song performed by by Alan Parsons Project
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Speeches of Happiness
Such happiness happens when we are cruel,
Then people congregate to sin and sigh,
Signals are in science, scientific people sign us
With formulae too sincere, theirs is the cure.
One doctor ships a solution to be received
By another professor, whose books read as
Speeches of some happiness, innocence lives.
Begin to touch the paint of a wall,
This needs to be cleaned from the hands,
And so the professor must read his speeches
For they need cleaning.
Happy work needs revision to be included
In the next sector of the spiritual heaven.
A plane of material existence shelters me,
And the space of this cloud and universe shakes.
poem by Naveed Akram
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Doctor Tarr & Professor Fether
Lead vocal: john miles
Just what you need to make you feel better
Just what you need to make you feel
Just what you need to make you feel better
Just what you need to make you feel
At the far end of your tether
And your thoughts wont fit together
So you sleep light or whatever
And the night goes on forever
The your mind change like the weather
Your in need of doctor tarr and professor fether
Even clouds seem bright and breezy
cause the livin is free and easy
See the rat race in a new way
Like youre walkin up to a new day
Its a wise thing if youre clever
Take a lead from doctor tarr and professor fether
Find the end of the rainbow
Fly wherever the winds blow
Laugh at life like a sideshow
Just what you need to make you feel better
Satisfaction altogether
Guaranteed by doctor tarr and professor fether
Find the end of the rainbow
Fly wherever the winds blow
Laugh at life like a sideshow
Just what you need to make you feel better
Dont stop bringin the girls round
Dont start havin a showdown
Keep on handin the jug round
All that you need is wine and good company
song performed by by Alan Parsons Project
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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