Do you have any idea what it's like when you try and make home porn? My husband and I tried it. We looked like charging hippos. Best to leave it to the pros.
quote by Aisha Tyler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life - think of it, dream of it, live on idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success.
quote by Swami Vivekananda
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.
quote by Martin Luther
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Husband...
A husband should be
Loyal and honest
A husband should be
Strong and protective
A husband should be
Loving and romantic
A husband should be
Patient and understanding
A husband should know
When enough is enough
A husband should know
When to fight and when to cry
A husband should know
all your goals and dreams
A husband should know
your strengths and well as your weaknesses
A husband needs to be a true man
A husband needs to love you unconditionally
A husband needs to know your heart is forever his
poem by Sarah Holmes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Embracing impotence[A]
Sexual partners are hard to get;
Porn in the net is free for all.
Premarital sex is a crime;
Seeing porn all the time is within.
Addicted to seeing pictures,
Men develop an inability
To be turned on by girls in person.
Failure in bed after marriage
Is the matter of concern for both.
Guilt cripples him; hunger drives her out.
Childless, marriage heads to wreck.
Then mind is set to seeing only porn
And refuses to see the real partner.
It is the self inflicted impotence.
24.10.2011
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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Blue Movie was based on an idea that Stanley Kubrick had. Somebody came by one day with some porn footage.
quote by Terry Southern
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pretty woman
Pretty woman.
But wife is beautiful.
Pretty woman is hot.
But wife is the sexiest.
Pretty woman is just for sex.
But a wife is to make love.
Wife is a forbidden fruit.
To you and all.
and wife is more caring.
Be at home and by her husband.
and wife is the husband diamond.
And the husband love making love to her.
That no other women can.
Make him feel so good.
and her husband always in love.
With her.
And wife is the husband success.
Loving and warm full happiness.
She bears our children. And
She is the most gifted darling.
poem by See Fee Lee
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Sex is Sexy (Song)
Sex is sexy, Sex is tasty
Sex is fun, Sex is healthy
Sex is nice, Sex is happy
Sex is bright when you do it right.
God created two to enjoy
One with one, do it forever
Anything else is against his wish
Sex is bright when you do it right.
Porn looks fun, Porn looks great
Look at once, it makes you slave
Porn is toxicant, which kills your instinct
Sex is bright when you do it right.
Don’t do it, which feels you shy
Don’t do it, which makes you ill
Don’t do it, if you lose your self
Sex is bright when you do it right.
Keep your virgin just like wine
Wait for the time and wait for the partner
Keep this best present just for your first night
Sex is bright when you do it right.
Don’t share the bed just for fun
Use the bed with whom you marry once
Shut the doors and have more fun
Sex is bright when you do it right.
-o-
poem by Bhavani Polimetla
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How a Poem is Like Porn
they are you know
some people pronounce poem....'pom'...with a long 'o'
(which made me think right off that the poem had an orgasm
and the 'O' was code)
Of course the 'O' is sexy all by itself (for obvious reasons...right?)
anyway I imagine the 'P' in 'porn' getting close to the 'O' and I have
imagined them on a sofa (sort of like a line of poetry if you will)
then they 'R' close to the 'N' so close that the 'R' morphs onto the 'N'
and you have 'POM' the aberrant spelling/pronunciation I mentioned before
some how the 'N' always spells 'nasty' in porn poems so...sobeit
when all the letters of porn got together to do IT
I saw pictures of their poetic offspring
and they look like their parents
especially around the orafaces....or is it orafaci
poem by Boink Boink
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The Mad Gardener's Song
He thought he saw an Elephant,
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
'At length I realise,' he said,
The bitterness of Life!'
He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
'Unless you leave this house,' he said,
'I'll send for the Police!'
He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
'The one thing I regret,' he said,
'Is that it cannot speak!'
He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
'If this should stay to dine,' he said,
'There won't be much for us!'
He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
'Were I to swallow this,' he said,
'I should be very ill!'
He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
'Poor thing,' he said, 'poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!'
He thought he saw an Albatross
That fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found it was
A Penny-Postage Stamp.
'You'd best be getting home,' he said:
'The nights are very damp!'
He thought he saw a Garden-Door
That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was
A Double Rule of Three:
'And all its mystery,' he said,
'Is clear as day to me!'
He thought he saw a Argument
That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
'A fact so dread,' he faintly said,
'Extinguishes all hope!'
poem by Lewis Carroll
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Don't Leave Home
Like a ghost dont need a key
Your best friend I've come to be
Please don't think of getting up for me
You don't even need to speak
When I've been here for just one day
You'll already miss me if I go away
So close the blinds and shut the door
You won't need other friends anymore
Oh don't leave home, oh don't leave home
If you're cold I'll keep you warm
And If you're lost just hold on
Cause I will be your safety
Oh don't leave home
I arrived when you were weak
I'll make you weaker, like a child
Now all your love you give to me
When your heart is all I need
Oh don't leave home, oh don't leave home
If you're cold I'll keep you warm
And If you're lost just hold on
Cause I will be your safety
Oh don't leave home
Oh how quiet, quiet the world can be
When it's just you and little me
Everything is clear and everything is new
So you won't be leaving will you
If you're cold I'll keep you warm
And If you're lost just hold on
Cause I will be your safety
Oh don't leave home
Cause I will be your safety
I will be your safety
I will be your safety
Oh don't leave home
song performed by by Dido
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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i Asked God Why
I asked God. Why me I asked god. One day God took my loving husband from me with out let me know what it’s going to happen to me with out him. I started asking why? What I did wrong to deserve this, many questions were in my head all the time. Now I know the answer. God took my husband it is not because I did something wrong, it was my husband time to leave this world. Now two years passed by and I understood that God don’t give you thinks that you’re not able to handle. Now I have an Angel that it’s looking after me all the time to make sure that I do the best every single day. I missed my loving husband but I know he is in a very good place.
poem by Rocio Batir
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Fool To Think
Look at me dreaming of you
All I could hope is to have you
To have you walking with me
Laughing so in love, we two
Almost drunkenly
I did imbibe of this
Fantasy of you and me
Was I a fool to think?
The way you looked at me
I swear you did
But you looked away too quick
Was I a fool, was I a fool to think
That you would take me home
As if I was yours
Was I a fool to think at all?
Ive grown tired of love
You are the trouble with me
I watch you walk right by
I smile, you do not notice me
Treat me recklessly
All you do is toss me pennies out
But the silence in me is screaming
Wont you come and get me?
Was I a fool to think?
The way you looked at me
I swear you did
But you looked away too quick
Was I a fool, was I a fool to think
That you would take me home
As if I was yours
Was I a fool to think at all?
Was I a fool to think?
The way you looked at me
I swear you did
But you looked away too quick
Was I a fool, was I a fool to think
That you would take me home
As if I was yours
Was I a fool to think at all?
You make a mess of me here
I dance a thousand steps for you
If you say yes to me
Ill be whatever gets you through
You make a mess of me here (was I a fool? )
I dance a thousand steps for you (was I a fool? )
Was I a fool, was I a fool to think?
Am I a fool, am I a fool for you?
song performed by by Dave Matthews Band
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Husband
It is true:
My husband
has never
taken out
the garbage
from our little house
in the suburbs.
My husband
has never
taken our children
out for the night
to trick-or-treating
as I sit
on the porch in a witch hat.
My husband
has never
come home from
a long day
to a special meal
I have prepared
just for him.
My husband
has never
told me he loves me
beside a warm fire
on our honeymoon.
But he will.
poem by Erica Francis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Take Me Home
Now Im here all alone
Takin care of my own
Down in no mans land
Got no friend, got no dime
Only plenty of time
Wheres the saving hand?
I got that feeling to need
More and more attention
That is the fever, dont leave me alone
I got that feeling to make
More than conversation
That is the fever,
Wheres my home?
Take me home
Take me home
Take me home
Its not true what you see
Behind that mask thats not me
Try to reach my world
Cant you see Im so blind
Stay with me to change my mind
No more nightmares, girl
I got that feeling to need more
And more attention
That is the fever, dont leave me alone
I got that feeling to make more
Than conversation
That is the fever, wheres my home?
Take me home
Take me home
Take me home
I got that feeling to need more
And more attention
That is the fever, dont leave me alone
I got that feeling to make more
Than conversation
That is the fever,
Wheres my home?
Take me home
Take me home
Take me home
song performed by by Helloween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Family life
At home
Husband
And wife...
Some time fighting...
Word's to words...
With bad words...
Sometime hit
The husband wife
Mistakes...
Wife was crying...
Husband was woory...
Wife also
Lovingely hit...
Husband also take easy...
At night husband
Wanted wife
For sex...
Wife will say
Backpain acting
Going for
Hear with life
Every day
At familylife...!
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My first husband would never make up his mind in less than five years, so I used to get him to think that whatever course of action needed to be taken was his idea. Then he'd go right ahead.
quote by Mary Wesley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The other day a friend called and told me they made a porn film using the title of my first movie. I guess you know you've made it when there's a porn parody of a movie you've done.
quote by Kate Bosworth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Togetherness Is Gone
My wife,
Stop cleaning the house
Please come here
To accompany me
My husband,
The house is dirty
We aren't able to pay the maid
You've already retired
My wife,
Don't cook
It's a holiday
Let us eat outside the home
My husband,
Don't eat outdoors
We need efficient
You've already retired
My wife,
Let's keep me company
Why the rush to sleep
It's still early
My husband,
I have to get up early
To clean the house
And prepare breakfast
My wife,
I have to go this morning
My friends were waiting
Long we don't meet
My husband,
Be careful on the road
Greetings for your friends
But, why not breakfast?
My wife,
You have fallen asleep last night
I see you sleeping soundly all
I don't have the heart to wake you
My husband,
I'm sorry
I don't welcome you home
But, why should sleep on the sofa?
My wife,
I have to go again
I have social activities
With my old friends
My husband,
Don't forget dinner at home
You look very dapper
Although not wear perfume
My wife,
sorry, we were very busy
I had dinner with friends
Happy dinner, dear
My husband,
I woke up too early
But you're not at home
Where are you?
My wife,
I came home at midnight
I have to go early in the morning
I don't have the heart to wake you
My husband,
I just finished washing clothes
I've found the clothes that you wear today
But, why the smell of perfume?
poem by Hasanudin Sofyan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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An Idea
An Idea can change the world, how many
things can be done from an idea, every piece
of object was an idea, sense the beginning of
time idea was the first thought created in the
mind, an idea is what surround’s every being.
But an idea is still only an idea and it can't be
felt, you cannot touch an idea or kiss it, or hold it,
ideas do not bleed or feel pain or love, an idea
cannot be seen or heard, its created in our thoughts,
but then again an idea can become real. An idea
can be what ever you which it to be, an idea can
be destructive, an idea can be brilliant, I've seen
people get killed in the name of ideas, ideas,
we walk around with a little
light bulb blinking in our thoughts, ideas.
poem by Elenushka Toledo
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Ooh Baby
Oohbaby
Oohbaby
Oohoohooh
Since the day I saw you, baby, I knew you were for me
Always all by myself, I sought your company
All the fellas told me that you played me for a fool
Said I wouldnt hang out, id go home right after school
What did I do to you
To make you feel this way
You said youd be my baby
Never go away, go away
How could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohbaby) how could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohbaby) how could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohoohooh) how could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
Spent all my time, baby, just working on my form
Trying to improve myself so I could give you more
You told me I was turning out the way that I should be
How could I know that you would turn your back on me
What did I do to you
To make you feel this way
You said youd be my baby
Never go away, go away
How could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohbaby) how could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohbaby) how could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohoohooh) how could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohbaby) how could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohbaby) how could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohoohooh) how could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
Ooh, baby, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
How could you leave
Ooh, baby, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
How could you leave
How could you leave
How could you leave
How could you leave
Ooh, baby, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, baby, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
How could you leave
How could you leave
Ooh, baby, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, baby, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
How could you leave
How could you leave
Ooh, baby, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, baby, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
How could you leave
How could you leave
How could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohbaby) how could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohbaby) how could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohoohooh) how could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohbaby) how could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohbaby) how could you leave when I need you, baby
(oohoohooh) how could you leave when I need you, baby
How could you leave when I need you, baby
song performed by by New Edition
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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