I'm gonna fix that last joke by taking out all the words and adding new ones.
quote by Mitch Hedberg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Sentence of All
Hunt a sentence this day to the next,
One can not find a finer one
Than the very joke I have reasoned with.
What is this joke? What is that joke?
I can not see anyone with flowers,
But I see everyone with words
And they differ: ever so much.
A sentence such as this is enough
And what is this humorous one?
It is the very subject and predicate of our souls -
“Sentences are written not said.”
poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Gonna Creep Up On You
Im gonna creep up on you
Im gonna creep up on you
Im gonna creep up on you
Im gonna gonna
The writing on the wall showed the scandal
Pointed out the victim of the vandal
The lady was upset by the angle
Scratch your back and hot to handle
Im gonna creep up on you
Im gonna creep up on you
Im gonna creep up on you
Im gonna gonna
Youre sly, youre slick, youre sleek, youre outstanding
My legs are week, my heart, it beats, its pounding
Soon youre gonna weep in your sleepless surrounding
'cause Im the one taking you down for grounding
Im gonna creep up on you
Im gonna creep up on you
Im gonna creep up on you
Im gonna gonna
Little lady let me take a little bit of your love
song performed by by Thin Lizzy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Space Is Gonna Do Me Good
The islands of phoenix
In 2016
Are making it up with hardihood
Im done with adult matters
Im doing the catapult
Ive been meaning to get out of hollywood
Space is gonna do me good
Space is gonna do me good
Its not you I dont like
No, the boy is the same
Im taking the turnpike
Theres no point in to blame
Oh yeah
Space is gonna do me good
Space is gonna do me good
Its not you I dont like
No, the boy is the same
Im taking the turnpike
Theres no point in to blame
Oh yeah
Words of the man ray
If you want to stay tan
Better to do it with a toy or a game
Oh yeah
song performed by by Frank Black
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Adding To The Noise
What's it gonna take
to slow us down
to let the silence spin us around?
What's it gonna take
to drop this town?
We've been spinning at the speed of sound.
Stepping out of those convenience stores
what could we want but more more more?
From the third world
to the corporate core
we are a symphony of modern humanity
If we're adding to the noise
turn off this song
If we're adding to the noise
turn off your stereo, stereo, stereo
I dont know
what they're gonna think of next
genetic engineers of the most high tech
A couple new ways
to fall into debt
I'm a nervous wreck but I'll bet
that that T.V. set
tells us what we've wanted to hear
But none of these sound bites
are coming in clear
From the third world to the corporate ear
we are the symphony of modern humanity.
song performed by by Switchfoot
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Feelin So Good[Bad Boy Remix]
Rap
When I opened up my eyes today
Felt the sun shining on my face
It became so clear to me that everything is goin my way
I feel like theres no limit to what I can see
Got rid of fears that were holding me
My endless possibilities
Has the whole world opened up for me
Thats why Im feeling...
Chorus
Im feeling so good
I knew that I would
Been taking care of myself
Like I should
Cause not one thing
Can bring me down
Nothing in this world gonna turn me around...
Now that day is turning into night
And everything is still going right
Theres no way you can stop me this time
Or break this spirit of mine
Like the stars above Im gonna shine
Anything I want will be mine
Tonight Im gonna have a good time
Call a few friends of mine
Cause Im loving life
And tonights for feeling...
Chorus
Im feeling so good
I knew that I would
Been taking care of myself
Like I should
Cause not one thing
Can bring me down
Nothing in this world gonna turn me around...
Im feeling so good
I knew I would
Been taking care of myself
Like I should
Cause not one thing
Can bring me down
Nothing in this world gonna turn me around...
Rap
Chorus
Im feeling so good
I knew that I would
Been taking care of myself
Like I should
Cause not one thing
Can bring me down
Nothing in this world gonna turn me around...
Im feeling so good
I knew that I would
Been taking care of myself
Like I should
Cause not one thing
Can bring me down
Nothing in this world gonna turn me around...
Im feeling so
Party on tonight night
Everything is feeling right dj
Party on tonight
Everything is feeling right
Chorus
Im feeling so good
I knew that I would
Been taking care of myself
Like I should
Cause not one thing
Can bring me down
Nothing in this world gonna turn me around...
Im feeling so good
I knew I would
Been taking care of myself
Like I should
Cause not one thing
Can bring me down
Nothing in this world gonna turn me around...
Im feeling so good
I knew that I would
Been taking care of myself
Like I should
Cause not one thing
Can bring me down
Nothing in this world gonna turn me around...
Im feeling so good
I knew I would
Been taking care of myself
Like I should
Cause not one thing
Can bring me down
Nothing in this world gonna turn me around...
song performed by by Jennifer Lopez
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Long Way Home
The other night I took the long way home
Out past the old schoolyard
Its funny how you keep it all inside
Dreams they do die hard
I closed my eyes and I could see your face
Somewhere back in time
One summer night a million miles ago
Back when you were mine
Say yes, say no, say that Im grabbing at shadows
But dont carve the words in stone
I know its late
But cant you see I was only
Taking the long way home
Sometimes its easy to get all wrapped up
In trying to be free
And all those dreams I sailed away to find
Were right in front of me
Say yes, say no, say that Im grabbing at shadows
But dont carve the words in stone
One of these days
Youre gonna see I was only
Taking the long way home
Although the letters stopped many years ago
Ill show you even time could not keep this heart
From letting go
The other night I took the long way home
Out past the old schoolyard
Its funny how you keep it all inside
Dreams they do die hard
Say yes, say no, say that Im grabbing at shadows
But dont leave me here all alone
One of these days
Youre gonna see I was only
Taking the long way home
Say yes, say no
But dont leave me here all alone
One of these days
Youre gonna see I was only
Taking the long way home
[repeat]
song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It Is A Joke
it is a joke
and it will always be
a joke
that how it is,
it is a joke, my own joke, and i laugh
when i remember it,
i send it to you and you send it back
like a ping-pong ball
it bounces and i see it coming
back to me
it hits me right in my eyes
got double vision, cross-eyed
i am hurt. It is not a joke anymore.
it is here beside
a tear, a bruise, stained and scarred.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Contentment consist not in adding more fuel, but in taking away some fire.
quote by Thomas Fuller
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lies
Baby
What do I do
Playing my tune for you
Just to get you in the mood
Everybodys going to hollywood
Youre driving me mad
But Im smiling to the crowd instead
A lot of money is at stake, this is a hit and thats a fake
This is what you mean to me
This is what they all should see
Make a make up in a foolish style
Telling the truth by making a big lie
When I come, I come but nothings at ease
Breaking up the whole is a modern disease
Maybe you think tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
My love
Everythings an interview
And nothings really new
And everybodys looking for clues and you know what to do with a clue
My love
Get ready for the show
Theyre waiting and they will never go
This night is just a go
And its only for show
Dig that deal and be a millionaire
Drinking cocktails in the stratosphere
Getting jetlagged with my business friends in these supersonic wonderlands
Theres a flicker on the graphic display, first hes smiling then hes fading away
Maybe he thinks tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
Gold/1984
song performed by by Alphaville
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skools Burning
Skools burning, it's burning down
Burning down, burning down
Stand up, sit down
Don't turn around
Don't talk and don't smoke
Don't laugh, no joke
Too many rules, too many fools
Gonna raise it to the ground
We're gonna get high
Light up the sky
Gonna burn it down
Yes sir, no sir, 3 bags full
Speak up or shut up
Backs to the wall
Stand in line, take it outside
See the soldiers march in time
Rollin' out of bed, fallin' on my head
I think I'll pull the pin
Shape up, or ship out
Your hair's too long
Yes sir, no sir, the same old song
Stay after time and
Learn all your lines
Or write 'em out a thousand times
I heard what you said
Bells in my head
I think I'll pull the pin
There's gonna be a party tonight
People gonna come from miles
There's gonna be a fire here tonight
Gonna dance with the devil
Till the dawn
Dance with the devil till the dawn
Stand up, sit down
Don't turn around
Don't talk, don't smoke
Don't laugh, no joke
Too many rules, too many fools
Gonna raise it to the ground
Gonna get high, light up the sky
Gonna pull the pin
song performed by by Uriah Heep
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stick Up
Let's go
I've been loving you for years
I know that I was never clear
But I have no fear today
Cause I'm gonna say
What I gotta say
I don't wanna play no more
I'm busting through the door
I'm gonna take your heart for sure
Put your hands up in the air
It's a stick up
I'm go'n take your heart from here
Now let's fix up
Put your hands in the air, in the air, in the air
I'm gonna play my cards from here
and take this gamble
sure, my words are gonna fumble
but this being hard and humble
Ain't got me nowhere
Sure I'm scared but my life's a dare
And baby you just got so much flare
We'd be the perfect pair
I'm gonna share my mind with you
You've been blind and my life's blue
I'm taking you, I'm taking you
Put your hands up in the air
It's a stick up
I'm go'n take your heart from here
Now let's fix up
Put your hands in the air, in the air, in the air
Put your hands up in the air
It's a stick up
I'm gone take your heart from here
Now let's fix up
Put your hands in the air, in the air, in the air
In the air, in the air, in the air
When I first met you, I wanted to wet you
Not a gun, but a different content sexual
You try to run I still get you
Steel metal, not needed
A whole nother meaning
Don't want your gold, want your soul
Control ya heartbeating
Cause when I start squeezing that muscle
That's the trigger then I got you nigga
In your drop with spinners
Got your bodyguards with you
Diamond dog tag chain swinging
I have them thangs ringing
This is a robbery, and no one's getting free
Til that man, he comes with me
This is a robbery, and no one's getting free
Til that man he comes with me
Put your hands up in the air
It's a stick up
I'm go'n take your heart from here
Now let's fix up
Put your hands in the air, in the air, in the air
In the air, in the air, in the air
Put your hands up in the air
It's a stick up
I'm a take your heart from here
Now let's fix up
Put your hands in the air
Put your hands in the air
Put your hands....
song performed by by Kelis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The World Is My Oyster
The world is my oyster
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Do you wanna,
Do you wanna,
Do you wanna yeah.
I feel I'm a comin' your the go ahead kind.
You are warmly invited to come inside.
You have five minutes Christians yeah.
It was a joke yeah.
Because I'm a comin yeah, to cut your throat.
yeah give me more.
You are warmly invited to come inside.
You are warmly invited to come inside.
Come inside, come inside, come inside.
Your on your way up.
Gonna jack you up,
Gonna jack you off,
Gonna jack you up yeah.
Gonna jack you up,
Gonna jack you off,
Jack right down to Rio.
Lets go boys.
You can build it up like muscle.
You can build it up like hustle yeah.
Build it up.
I can take you higher.
Build it up.
I can take you high.
Build it up.
I can take you higher yeah.
Right on to the sky.
It was a joke.
Do you wanna,
Do you wanna,
Do you wanna,
Build it up.
I can take you higher yeah.
Right on to the sky.
I gonna take you higher yeah.
Right up there on high.
Swing low
Your on your way up.
Gonna jack you up,
Gonna jack you off,
Gonna jack you up yeah.
Gonna jack you up,
Gonna jack you off,
Jack right down to Rio.
song performed by by Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Violence Of Summer
Hey!, pick it up
This'll get you out.. of your head
China's heading up, by the ratings on a motion
She goes with a real head biker, he's a metalhead
She looks me up and down talkin' dirty eyes
Sweet sayin' boy, baby i can lick you any time.
(keep it up)
(ha ha, that's right)
Here we go again...
Bit later...
I'm gonna run into 'em round the back
While all them guys break heads in the sugar shack
Don't give me drink, i don't wanna get too stoned
Then we're gonna see who's gonna take who home
The violence of summer, and love's taking over
It starts with desire, ends up under cover
Those lips will make me right..
You may look down but don't think twice (ooh-oh)
So death is on the way,
So what man? i still want to play....
(oh-oh yeah..)
One, two!
This'll get you out, of your money
This'll pick you up, let's go!
We'll take a ride, going south where her mother writes
For bad news catches up, we still got a little time
We made it all so far away,
One thing is sure, we shouldn't stay
I'll take it all - china gonna get the run around,
A run, a run around..
(chorus)
China,na china,na,na,na
China,na china,na,na,na
China,na china,na,na,na
China,na china,na,na
(chorus)
Mmmmmm
Loves taking over..
Yes loves taking over..
Loves taking over..
song performed by by Duran Duran
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Monday Comes Around
Friday, Monday, comes around
She's a girl with the weight of the world on her big brown eyes
She's a girl who's been talking to herself to apologize
She'll never do it again she promised
But then she hasn't been all that honest
Can she trust herself to be herself
Or is she talking to herself again
Hey Friday what you gonna do now
When Monday comes around
Hey Friday what you gonna do now
When Monday comes around
When Monday comes around
Come around, when Monday comes around
Monday comes wondering where do you run to find a second start
Where do you go when you're broke and alone and Friday falls apart
Yeah, yeah
All these questions are leaving her shaking
Can you be two girls in one
Can your heart bend this much without breaking
You know that you know and you can never have it both ways
Hey Friday what you gonna do now
When Monday comes around
Hey Friday what you gonna do now
When Monday comes around
When Monday comes around
Come around, when Monday comes around
Come around, when Monday comes around
Come around, when Monday comes around
Don't take it easy
Don't take it easy
Who says somebody's giving and taking, giving and taking
Everybody's taking away
(Monday comes around...)
Friday, Monday, comes around...
song performed by by Switchfoot
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Last Stop: This Town
Youre dead but the world keeps spinning
Take a spin through the world you left
Its getting dark a little too early
Are you missing the dearly bereft?
Taking flight and you could be
Here tomorrow
Taking flight, well, you could get
Here tonight
Im gonna fly on down for the last stop
To this town
What?
Im gonna fly on down then fly away
Well, alright
Get down
Takin a spin throught the neighbourhood
The neighbours scream
Whatchya talkin bout?
cause they dont know how to
Let you in
And I cant let you out
What if I was not your only friend
In this world
Can you take me where youre going
If youre never coming back
Im gonna fly on down for the last stop
To this town
Im gonna fly on down then
Fly away on my way
Get down
Why dont we take a ride away up high
Through the neighbourhood
Up over the billboards and the factories
And smoke
Im gonna fly on down for the last stop
To this town
Yeah
Im gonna fly on down then
Fly away on my way
Fly away
Get down
song performed by by Eels
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fuel To The Fire
or could it be you cause you do your voodoo baby
I never thought that one could really get the job done
keep me warmer than the normal hot like sun
see cause everybody wanna get down for a minute
get a girl in your world and you take it to the limit
this sweet young thing and me kicked it for a while
but she gave me more drama than the OJ trial
see my chest went boom when you walked in the room
and I knew I wasn't needed here anytime soon
I had to get your name number information
because certain body parts had inflimation
in fact from the front and the back you was hittin
and I said damn from the place I was sittin
to say I'm not sprung well Young would be a liar
you're taking me higher adding fuel to my fire
Chorus:
ya don't stop
that's because you're adding fuel to my fire
ya don't stop
that's because you're adding fuel to my fire
ya don't stop
that's because you're adding fuel to my fire
ya don't stop
that's because you're adding fuel
now body temperature's ninety eight six
but I caught the fever when they put you in the mix
no doubt hon straight up you got me open
and I don't need aspirin or i v propen
ooh look at you hella tight and on hit
and you've got no idea girl what you gon' get
just because I gotta fever that don't mean I'm hurt
I have a hundred five temperature and still you work
oh yes indeed lover give you what you need
lover coming like Keanu with the speed lover cut me and I'll bleed
lover but I never lose my spot the grooves I got is hot
giving it my best shot
so move around baby boogie to the sound
and we won't stop rolling to the car breaks down
and if it's a flat then yo I got a spair tire
you're taking me higher adding fuel to my fire
Chorus
fine and genuine you had me high from jump
and I have to worry bout paying at the pump
cause the fuel is free don't need cash or credit
you're the steamy one with the premium unleaded
bonafied as you walk with pride
see my tank is full so come and take a ride
I got a clean front seat that's got your name on it
we can roll to the crib for the night if you want it
so boom-sha-lock baby listen to me rock
cause you got more style than all the girlies on the block
and I bet yo kiss can make a prince from a frog
have the brothers sayin yo is it good to you dawg
I say yes but not just to impress
cause you look so right in that skin-tight dress
and the flesh will fade because it's only skin deep
you're not here to get paid because you're not that cheap
so creep with me as we roll through the night
and don't sleep with me until you know that it's right
that was thirsty girl until you quench my desire
you're taking me higher adding fuel to my fire
Chorus
song performed by by Young MC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Skools Burnin
Skools burning, its burning down
Burning down, burning down
Stand up, sit down
Dont turn around
Dont talk and dont smoke
Dont laugh, no joke
Too many rules, too many fools
Gonna raise it to the ground
Were gonna get high
Light up the sky
Gonna burn it down
Yes sir, no sir, 3 bags full
Speak up or shut up
Backs to the wall
Stand in line, take it outside
See the soldiers march in time
Rollin out of bed, fallin on my head
I think Ill pull the pin
Shape up, or ship out
Your hairs too long
Yes sir, no sir, the same old song
Stay after time and
Learn all your lines
Or write em out a thousand times
I heard what you said
Bells in my head
I think Ill pull the pin
Theres gonna be a party tonight
People gonna come from miles
Theres gonna be a fire here tonight
Gonna dance with the devil
Till the dawn
Dance with the devil till the dawn
Stand up, sit down
Dont turn around
Dont talk, dont smoke
Dont laugh, no joke
Too many rules, too many fools
Gonna raise it to the ground
Gonna get high, light up the sky
Gonna pull the pin
song performed by by Uriah Heep
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Try & Love Again
When youre out there on your own
Where your memories can find you.
Like a circle goes around you were lost until you found out
What it all comes down to.
One by one the lonely feelings come.
Day by day they slowly fade away.
Ooh, the look was in her eyes,
You never know what might be found there.
She was dancing right in time and the moves she made so fine
Like the music that surrounds her.
Should I stay or go? I really wanna know.
Would I lose or win if I try and love again?
Oh o-o-o-oh, gonna try and love again.
O-oh o-o-o-oh, Im gonna try and love again.
O-oh o-o-o-oh gonna try and love.
Right or wrong, whats done is done.
Its only moments that you borrow.
But the thoughts will linger on of the lady and her song
When the sun comes up tomorrow.
Well, it might take years to see through all these tears.
Dont let go, when you find it you will know.
Oh o-o-o-oh, gonna try and love again.
O-oh o-o-o-oh, gonna try and love again.
O-oh o-o-o-oh, gonna try and love again. o-oh o-o-o-oh
O-oh o-o-o-oh sometimes lose, sometimes win,
Sometimes you need a friend
O-oh o-o-o-oh, o-oh o-o-o-oh
Gonna try
Gonna try
Gonna try gonna try gonna try gonna try
Gonna try gonna try gonna try gonna try
Gonna try gonna try gonna try gonna try
Gonna try
Gonna try gonna try gonna try gonna try
Gonna try gonna try gonna try gonna try
Gonna try gonna try gonna try gonna try
Gonna try
(fade out)
song performed by by Eagles
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gonna Raise Hell
Words and music by rick nielsen
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Ambition? ha!
If all Ive heard is true,
Theres nothin much I can do
To change the world, its irreversible.
But in what it lacks,
Its got a taste that smacks of somethin irresistable.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Submission? yes!
Now I wont name names, and a secrets a secret,
But a hints a hint or a clue.
You really wanna know, you really wanna go,
Theres only two things you got to do.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Mother, mother.
Mother, mother.
Mother, mother.
My mission? ah, yes!
Everybody hear? everybody here,
Its a fate I all agree.
Sometimes you win, I never lose,
To me its no mystery.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
Gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell, gonna raise hell.
(repeat to coda)
song performed by by Cheap Trick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Seven Nation Army
I'm gonna fight 'em off
A seven nation army couldn't hold me back
They're gonna rip it off
Taking their time right behind my back
And I'm talking to myself at night
Because I can't forget
Back and forth through my mind
Behind a cigarette
And the message coming from my eyes
Says leave it alone
Don't want to hear about it
Every single one's got a story to tell
Everyone knows about it
From the Queen of England to the hounds of hell
And if I catch it coming back my way
I'm gonna serve it to you
And that ain't what you want to hear,
But that's what I'll do
And the feeling coming from my bones
Says find a home
I'm going to Wichita
Far from this opera for evermore
I'm gonna work the straw
Make the sweat drip out of every pore
And I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding, and I'm bleeding
Right before the lord
All the words are gonna bleed from me
And I will think no more
And the stains coming from my blood
Tell me go back home
song performed by by Flaming Lips
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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