A joke is not a thing but a process, a trick you play on the listener's mind. You start him off toward a plausible goal, and then by a sudden twist you land him nowhere at all or just where he didn't expect to go.
quote by Max Eastman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
My teacher wasn't half as nice as yours seems to be
'My teacher wasn't half as nice as yours seems to be.
His name was Mister Unsworth and he taught us history.
And when you didn't know a date he'd get you by the ear
And start to twist while you sat there quite paralysed with fear.
He'd twist and twist and twist your ear and twist it more and more.
Until at last the ear came off and landed on the floor.
Our class was full of one-eared boys. I'm certain there were eight.
Who'd had them twisted off because they didn't know a date.
So let us now praise teachers who today are all so fine
And yours in particular is totally divine.'
poem by Roald Dahl
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Quoted Out of Context
I've been quoted out of context,
By those who believed it easy to do.
I've been perceived as someone I didn't know...
By those who never spoke to me.
Or came within conversation close.
In other words,
I wouldn't know them 'if' we spoke.
I'm not generally talkative.
And with those I feel comfortable,
I may joke!
But being quoted out of context,
Is something done to others...
Who may provoke an unconscious mind,
To defend a thought process not being delivered.
And the best thing folks who twist the truth can do,
Is to find some way to undermine it!
Or campaign against the one who is unafraid,
By declaring the person crazed!
And suffers from some undisclosed issue and 'problem'.
They try to mask to hide and not themselves expose,
From overdosing in delusions or other escapades they've chosen.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mighty River
From deep underground I start unseen
Cool spring water fresh and clean
My only life not visible to the eye
I start to flow, as if the earth did cry
Small and feint I start to trickle
As I flow the land I tickle
As in life we may start as little springs
But soon we grow and do big things
Down the mountains I start to flow
As my intensity starts to grow
My banks are now so far apart
So much wider that at the start
I twist and turn, will I ever stop
I`ve been winding forever right from the top
From a tint trickle to a steady stream
To reach the ocean is my only dream
My veins alive with creatures big and small
Within my belly I carry them all
Life within me does explode
No matter how much I can take the load
Over rocks and boulders I do roar
While above me the fish eagle`s soar
Swollen now I my banks do burst
Hungry lands I feed, they so do thirst
I fill the valley and form a lake
To try and stop me would be a mistake
I push on forward one goal in mind
To reach the ocean, sealed and signed
I`ve cut a groove across this land
But now a lap the ocean sand
Right at the end I reached my goal
Now the ocean waves a feed my soul
poem by Vaughn Bekker
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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There's A Reason For It
Don't know how it got away from me
Don't know how I let things go, you see
Don't know why it took a sudden turn
Didn't seem to be a big concern
And everything is all too much
Hot and bothered, you're cool to the touch
And everyone is worlds apart
It must have been this way from the start
When there's nothing here to save the day
Then we have to say
There's a reason for it
When there's nothing left for us to do
You're left without a clue
There's a reason for it
Don't know how it got away from me
Don't know how I let things go, you see
Don't know why it took a sudden turn
Didn't seem to be a big concern
And everyone is all too well
All well-adjusted people
Can't you tell?
And everything is all too fast
Just add water Nothing's built to last
When your colleagues can't recall your name
Time and time again
There's a reason for it
When your name's the butt of every joke
Just about to croak T
here's a reason for it
And everyone is worlds apart
It must have been this way from the start
When there's nothing here to save the day
Then we have to say
There's a reason for it
When there's nothing left for us to do
You're left without a clue
There's a reason for it
There's a reason for it
There's a reason for it
There's a reason for it
song performed by by A-Ha
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Gates Of Steel (demo Alternate Version)
Twist awy the Gates of Steel
Unlock the secret voice
Give in to ancient noise
take a chance a brand new dance
Twist away the Gates of Steel
Twist away, now twist and shout
The Earth it moves too slow.
But the Earth is all we know
We pay to play the human way..
Twist away the Gates of Steel (a man is real, not made of steel!)
But the Earth is all we know,
we pay to play the human way
twist away the Gates of Steel
The beginning was the end
(of every thing now)
The ape regards his tail
(he's stuck on it)
Repeats until he fails,
half a goon and half a god,
a man's not made of steel
song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Nightmares Won't Stop
The nightmares won't stop
The thought process won't drop
You lie on the floor shaking
What is this you see?
Is it a dream or a reality
A question to explain away evil
If it is plausible not to exist
Then maybe its fake
Your not drowning in a black lake
Your not being bitten poisonous snake
Your not really awake
It is all in your head
An over active imagination
A mental complication
What a realization
Then comes another sensation
The nightmares won't stop
The thought process won't drop
You lie on the floor shaking
What is this you see?
Is it a dream or a reality
A question to explain away evil
If it is plausible not to exist
It also could be
You pinch your skin to see if this is
Your trying to open your eyes
if only to see
Their must be something you missed
Explaining away the possibility of your demise
The nightmares won't stop
The thought process won't drop
You lie on the floor shaking
What is this you see?
Is it a dream or a reality
A question to explain away evil
If it is plausible not to exist
Then when that coffin you lie in with spikes comes closed
You'll wake up alive with all your cloths
But look at all holes
Their mere shreds
How is that possible?
A mental transference of the material
Then the question comes did you wake into another dream
This is a sickness and a disease
If only solving it could be a breeze
The nightmares won't stop
The thought process won't drop
You lie on the floor shaking
What is this you see?
Is it a dream or a reality
A question to explain away evil
If it is plausible not to exist
poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Twist
Well youve got me working so hard lately
Working my hands until they bleed
If I was twice the man I could be
Id still be half of what you need
Still you lead me and I follow
The small of your back up to your chin
Over to the tip of your switchblade
As you pull it out as you stick it in
(twist twist twist) it can go a little deeper
(twist twist twist) Im wear
T) it can go a little deeper
(twist twist twist) Im wearing these chains
(twist twist twist) you make it hurt real good
(twist twist twist) (but? ) I love the pain
(twist twist twist) it can go a little deeper
(twist twist twist) Im wearing these chains
(twist twist twist) you make it hurt real good
(twist twist twist) I love the pain
(twist twist twist)
(twist twist twist)
(twist twist twist)
(twist twist twist)
Turn it on
Quietly says:
Is this on? oh [questionable]
* Im so tired I cant get to sleep
* and the squeaking of the bed
* is right in time with the song thats
* repeating in my head
Its uncomforting to rember how you used to like a good f**k
Every once in awhile
* I just want(ed) you to know (that)
* when I do it, I only think of you
* = quoted from end of ringfinger (the extra lyrics printed at the end
Of the song in pretty hate machine)
song performed by by Nine Inch Nails
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bend The Mind And Twist
Bend the mind and twist.
No thought will be automatically,
Ushered to comprehension.
There has to be a reflective process,
Assisting it.
This has to be recognized and insisted.
Bend the mind and twist.
Elements conflict with tension exist.
And where does common sense come to sit,
When a digesting returns to our lips.
Is that done before or after the benefit...
Of an experience received declared deserving of it!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Joke
a joke makes me laugh
because of the twist that i have not anticipated
sometimes it is not that way
we may not want it but we even laugh without the twist
without the joke
we laugh because it has become too bitter
and there is no other possible option
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Gates Of Steel
Twist away the gates of steel
Unlock the secret voice
Give in to ancient noise
Take a chance a brand new dance
Twist away the gates of steel
Twist away
Now twist and shout
The earth it moves too slow
But the earth is all we know
We pay to play the human way
Twist away the gates of steel
A man is real
Not made of steel
But the earth is all we know
We pay to play the human way
Twist away the gates of steel
The beginning was the end
Of everything now
The ape regards his tail
Hes stuck on it
Repeats until he fails
Half a goon and half a god
A mans not made of steel
Twist away
Now twist and shout
The earth it moves too slow
But the earth is all we know
We pay to play the human way
Twist away the gates of steel
A man is real thats how he feels
song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sinking
I am slowing down
As the years go by
I am sinking
So i trick myself
Like everybody else
The secrets i hide
Twist me inside
They make me weaker
So i trick myself
Like everybody else
I crouch in fear and wait
I'll never feel again
If only i could remember
Anything at all
song performed by by Cure
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You Thought Wrong
I see how your trying to weasel
your way in
boy I know how you maneuveur
with your confusion
you tell me that I'm your only
and how bad that you want me
well then why are you so shady
if I'm supposed to be your lady
why should I believe anything you say
and how could you shame me that way
tell me where where did you get the nerve
to even think that you you could
play me wrong
you thought we didn't know
you thought we were in the dark
but boy your covers blown
cause we both know now
you thought you had us fooled
at your beck & call
but now who's the joke
and look who's laughing now
now your trying to use us against one another
but it won't work
I see right though your game boy
and I know exactly where to play boy
you tried to deny all your actions
for once in your life be a real man
at least give me the proper respect
of the truth I already know you did it
why should I believe anyting you say
and how could you shame me that way
tell me where did you get the nerve
to even think that you could
play me wrong
you thought we didn't know
you thought we were in the dark
but boy your covers blown
cause we both know now
you thought you had us fooled
at your beck & call
but now who's the joke
and look who's laughing now
I see right through you baby
try not to be like you don't want me
why don't you get it through your thick head
cause I've seen this game before
and I'm not trying to see it no more
SHUT YOUR MOUTH
I'm not trying to hear your lies
no not again
sorry you couldn't be a better man
you thought we didn't know
you thought we were in the dark
but boy your covers blown
cause we both know now
you thought you had us fooled
at your beck & call
but now who's the joke
and look who's laughing now
Guess you thought wrong
look who's laughing now
You stupid
song performed by by Kelly Clarkson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It was great as an actor to be given the story line I was given but I didn't expect Craig to stay so it was a lovely twist when I found out they'd decided to keep him.
quote by Richard Fleeshman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wish I Didn't Know Now
I've never ask you where you're goin'
I've never ask you where you've been
I've never called and checked your story
You stayed out with all your freinds
I've never tried to catch you lyin'
I didn't want to know the truth
I'd rather go on lovin' blind girl
Than go on lovin' without you
I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then
I wish I could start this whole thing over again
I'm not sayin' it's you could never be true
I just don't wanna know how it ends
You'd still have my heart in the palm of your hands
I'd still look like a fool in front of your friends
Yeah I wish somehow I didn't know now what I didn't know then
I've always said what I don't know
Couldn't hurt as bad as leavin' you
Turns out I knew what I was thinkin'
It ain't an easy thing to do
Well I guess I should be goin'
I sure found out too much to stay
Please don't say your sorry
I might wait another day
I wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then
I wish I could start this whole thing over again
I'm not sayin' it's you could never be true
I just don't wanna know how it ends
You'd still have my heart in the palm of your hands
I'd still look like a fool in front of your friends
Yeah I wish somehow I didn't know now what I didn't know then
You'd still have my heart in the palm of your hand
I'd still look like a fool in front of your freinds
Yeah I wish somehow I didn't know now what I didn't know then
Yeah I wish somehow I didn't know now what I didn't know then
song performed by by Toby Keith from Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Most important to any fake story is a plausible, realistic edge with a satirical twist that is topical.
quote by Joey Skaggs
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Who's Trick Is This?
Who's trick is this?
Is it your latest?
It is too obvious.
The over rating done,
Is much too inflated.
This rehashed stuff,
I've had enough of.
Can't you create,
Something more update?
Something I can anticipate,
To stimulate a thought process...
That has from you...
Never approached a level of suspect.
Or I can say...
You had but it left
Who's trick is this?
It has to be borrowed.
It has a thoughfulness.
And with you,
That does not exist!
None you can insist...
Came to even visit.
Or one you can claim,
To leave me a bit suspicious...
That you alone are behind it!
Who's trick is this?
You have never been this innovative.
Or smiled so broadly.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Expect Your ………….You!
Expect your friend to be not better than you;
Expect your neighbor to not forgive you;
Expect your country not to goad you;
Expect your siblings to but discourage you;
Expect your children to not care for you;
Expect your spouse to rather hinder you;
Expect your love to always forget you;
Expect your home sometimes to ignore you;
Expect your native place to not honor you;
Expect the world to disregard you;
Expect your enemy to well hate you;
Expect your Maker to much love you;
Expect your God to never forsake you;
Expect your Lord and God to never abandon you.
poem by John Celes
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The play-writes curse
The play-writes curse
~
Give me a stage
and the world to write
give me characters
to fit my plot line
give me time and money
to assemble my script
that I may play with ideas
and work what fits
give me the option
for a sudden plot twist
give me set designers
who understand my mind
and actors to follow
whatever my command
give me wine and ink
that I may drink them both
in all my madness
give me your hope
give me this and a stage
that I may write you a play
but please I beg of you
before you give me anything
give me the opening line
poem by Matthew Holloway
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Believe
I don't know how
To be your heart,
On every beat
All long... Like now,
Forever start
In love... For it.
I'm only loose
The flow of mind,
Without control...
Hwo flies confused
Spending the time
Not have my goal.
Comeback your soul
-By fragil winds-
On mine around,
To may implor;
You have the wins
To giv'me discount.
I'll be your blood
To fil you up
In freshness move,
All long a hab
Uninterupt...
To twist world tube.
poem by Daniel Aurelian Rădulescu (13 July 2011)
Submitted by Daniel Aurelian Rădulescu
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My goal was just to work regularly. I didn't ever expect to be rich or famous. I wanted to be a working character actor.
quote by Harrison Ford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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