A woman would pitch a joke. Nothing. Then a guy would pitch it and everybody would laugh.
quote by Wanda Sykes
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Related quotes
I don't have perfect pitch, but I have relative pitch. I'm glad I don't have perfect pitch because perfect pitch can drive you crazy.
quote by Billy Eckstine
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The number of strokes to the inch controls the pitch of the note: the more, the higher the pitch; the fewer, the lower the pitch, the size of the stroke controls the loudness... the tone quality is the most difficult element to control, it is made by the shape of the strokes.
quote by Norman McLaren
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Why shouldn't we pitch to Babe Ruth? We pitch to better hitters in the National League.
quote by John McGraw
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A sore arm is like a headache or a toothache. It can make you feel bad, but if you just forget about it and do what you have to do, it will go away. If you really like to pitch and you want to pitch, that's what you'll do.
quote by Warren Spahn
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You can actually have a pitch button, you know, to get people on pitch.
quote by Helena Bonham Carter
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Learn what pitch you can hit good; then wait for that pitch.
quote by Willie Keeler
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You had to pitch in and out. The zone didn't belong to the hitters; it belonged to the pitchers. Today, if you pitch too far inside, the umpire would stop you right there. I don't think it's fair.
quote by Juan Marichal
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Music Thy Innerself Reveals
music is the language of the soul,
a rhythm that beats, a meaning that
pitch
it becomes the window of the soul,
a destiny beyond the horizon of
every man's heart
every lyric fulfills every one's soul,
that there is a moment of our life
beneath every breath is a choice
of music to sing
that every life has its own tune,
produces different pitch that when all
is played it gives harmony of meaning
that only you can give the meaning
in every note you sing, that harmonizes
the decrescendo and crescendo in
each line
as it faces the final high pitch, that only
you can reach the melody
the song that you want to listen
as it pleases in your heart
sing every note that you can do,
take always the beautiful pitch that you can
reach, never give up, for only
in singing that music
lives in you
music in you, now its you
poem by Antonio Liao
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Bloody Football Pitch
There I lie
Dead on the pitch
What did I do wrong
As I lay on my knees
Gun pointed to my head
On that football pitch
In Afghanistan
These big men
Turbans and beards
Rifles and Korans
Grabbed me from my home
Because I was talking to a man
Not my husband or relation
They struck me many times
Beat me
Covered me in the blue cloth
That covers me from head to toe
What a hot day it was
When the gun was pointed to my head
Why did so many people attend
This event
A public execution
Wild animals
It always attracts
I was no gladiator
I should not have been the centre of attention
I had no opportunity to fight for my freedom
They grabbed me
Beat me
Accused me
Convicted me
I committed no crime
I was a faithful wife
I died so that these fuckers
Could make a show
Of their power
Their law
Their Sharia
Their dominance
Their hatred
For me and my kind
I was just a woman
A mother and wife
Now I am gone
Because of the rifle
The coward riding in the jeep
Blew my head to bits
So there I lie
On the bloody football pitch
A fucking mess
poem by James Dylan
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Too Darn Hot
(c. porter)
Its too darn hot.
Its too darn hot.
I like to sup with my baby tonight,
Refill the cup with my baby tonight.
I like to sup with my baby tonight,
Refill the cup with my baby tonight.
But I aint up to my baby tonight,
cause its too darn hot.
Its too darn hot.
Its just too darn hot.
I like to coo with my baby tonight,
And pitch the woo with my baby tonight.
I like to coo with my baby tonight,
And pitch the woo with my baby tonight.
But brother you fight my baby tonight,
cause its too darn hot.
According to the kinsey report,
Every average man you know
Much prefers his lovey dovey to court,
When the temperature is low.
But when the thermometer goes way up,
And the weather is sizzling hot.
Mr. pants for romance is not!
Because its too darn hot. (too hot!)
Its too darn hot,
Its too darn hot.
Oh, its too darn hot,
Its too darn hot.
I like to coo with my baby tonight,
And pitch the woo with my baby tonight.
I like to coo with my baby tonight,
And pitch the woo with my baby tonight.
But brother you fight my baby tonight,
cause its too darn hot.
Mr. gob for his squab,
A marine for his queen,
A g.i. for his cutie-pie is not.
Oh its too darn hot,
Its too darn hot,
Its too darn hot!
I gotta get the heat down,
Gotta get the heat down.
song performed by by Erasure
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Best Among The Best
I laid down upon the shore of my bed,
and dreamed of a world i set ablazed.
I heard the great shouting and roaring of my name,
as i kept playing the beautiful round leather game.
The electrifying emotion on the pitch,
and the extraordinary feeling off the pitch,
Made me the best.
Even when faced with a hard test,
i had no option than victory,
cos wen am on the pitch, i cause my opponent misery.
The smooth texture of the grasses,
brought me happiness from the masses.
The joy of winning every match,
brought even more tougher opponent attach.
Every game had something to play for,
and when i don't get a chance to play, makes me bore.
Hearing the screeming of my name from the fans,
only makes my opponent feel banes.
I just want to tell the whole world,
that i am the best in everything i does in the world.
poem by Stanley Oguh
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Wang Dang Doodle
Tell Automatic Slim
Tell Razor Totin' Jim
Tell Butcher Knife Totin' Annie
Tell Fast Talkin' Fanny
Tonite we're gonna pitch a ball
Down to that union hall
Gonna romp and tromp 'till midnite
We're gonna fuss and fight 'till daylight
We're gonna pitch a wang dang doodle all nite long
Tell Poodle I'll tell him here
Tell Albert I'll see him near
Tell old Pistol Pete
Everybody gonna meet
Tonite we need no rest
We're really gonna throw a mess
We're gonna break out all the windows
Gonna kick down all the doors
We're gonna pitch a wang dang doodle all nite long
Tell Fats and Washboard Sam
That everybody's gonna jam
Just shake it Boxcar Joe
We got sawdust on the floor
Tell Chicken Head Till I Die
We're gonna have a time
When the fish head fills the air
Be snuff juice everywhere
We're gonna pitch a wang dang doodle all nite long
song performed by by Grateful Dead
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Yeah Mahn
Guided by the light.
Guided by the light.
Not too many people know,
They're guided by the light.
And when you pitch in a little bit,
That light turns on.
When you give just a little bit,
That light turns on.
And when you pitch in a little bit,
Those things wrong...
Get up to leave,
And you'll see them gone.
Guided by the light.
Guided by the light.
Everyday in everyway,
We're guided by the light.
When you pitch in a little bit,
That light turns on.
And when you give just a little bit,
That light turns on.
And when you pitch in a little bit,
Those things wrong...
Get up to leave,
And you'll see them gone.
Yeah mahn.
Yeah mahn.
Guided by the light.
Guided by the light.
Not too many people see,
We're guided by the light.
Just pitch in a little bit,
That light turns on.
Just a little bit of you in it.
And the light is on.
And when you pitch in a little bit,
Those things wrong...
Get up to leave,
And you'll see them gone.
Giving up a little bit,
Yeah mahn.
Try a little bit of it,
Yeah mahn.
And when you pitch in a little bit,
Those things wrong...
Get up to leave,
And you'll see them gone.
Giving up a little bit,
Yeah mahn.
Try a little bit of it,
Yeah mahn.
And when you pitch in a little bit,
With a bit of you in it...
Those things wrong,
Get up to leave...
And you'll see them gone.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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There was a man
There was a man with a golden crop.
Started to see, the growth he had did stop;
Over a few months he noticed as he did look,
A cricket pitch, was now he saw it over took.
There was a lady of almost 60, and in a mood,
She looked in the mirror, found her chin growing a brood;
She tried to pull each new hair till it came out,
But a few weeks later, two no three, new ones came about.
These two met for a cuppa, and a sweet,
And spoke of their problems on their seat;
She said to him why is it to me, such a bother,
I'll soon need to shave, I'm not a guy I'm a mother.
He agreed, and started to laugh, at the situation,
That he also had a problem, a hair complication;
Then she said why do you laugh, it's no joke you know,
But; soon saw why he thought it was fun, said o blow.
He said dear girl, as we get older, I'm losing my locks,
But you sweet ladies start growing a beard so why the knocks?
From the younger generation, that we see everywhere,
After all one day it'll happen to them as well, and see if we care.
poem by Margaret Haig
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Crysis!
I perceive the sound
it filters into my ear
the voice is too familiar
the unmistakable pitch
its the woman's voice
i swear i have lived this moment
too many a times.
each time it makes me sad
every i wish i could help
every i shed i tear,
the woman's voice so tender
thus the shrill cuts in
the silence of the dark
many hear her
beg for mercy-for help
help-which i was not of
if only a four year old could help
the woman from her beast husband
always pawing her
night to the other
if only i could help-the woman
out of her crysis
poem by Pen anthony
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Apprehensive lovers…
One wore the trousers
And went about singing,
Fearful of leaving…
Without; first drinking…
One wore black hose
Miniskirts, barefooted:
Without; thinking or caring…
When out dancing and twirling…
Together they’d kiss or pitch battle
Pitch battle or again fall in love
They were like wings on either shoulder
There were times when I couldn’t fly…
Without one, and surely, without the other…
But; together we were like sisters
And brothers…
Together—we were happy village muckers.
Though they had all the difficulties
Of being; apprehensive lovers…
poem by Mark Heathcote
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Love
My love for you is like the blackest pitch
that runs in a narrow furrow down a wall,
pools on the floor in a heart-shaped scrawl
or then again, like albumen-
white, pearlescent, watery-thick,
aglow in the fried-and-eaten dark
half-part scratch and half-part itch
my love for you is like the blackest pitch.
poem by Morgan Michaels
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My Love For You
My love for you is like the blackest pitch
that runs in a narrow furrow down a wall,
pools on the floor in a heart-shaped scrawl
or then again, like albumen,
white, pearlescent, watery-thick
glowing in the fried-and-eaten dark
half-part scratch and half-part itch-
my love for you is like the blackest pitch.
poem by Morgan Michaels
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The devil wears high heels
The devil wears high heels
and nobody will be able,
to convince me differently.
As a joke I heard a girl say:
she’s evil,
but there was truth to it.
I saw the colour change in her eyes
and heard her voice rise a pitch or two:
Excuses, excuses get the job done yesterday
were the instructions for today.
Some frickings slipped out
as the day ran on
and I heard an O Christ or two
and I want to misuse you,
was part of the normal speech
as if the basic conditions of employment act
is totally null and void.
To receive two days work an hour
before closing time
that she wants at the end of the day
must be a joke,
but the devil wears high heels
and I saw it
in a pinstripe woman’s suit
trying to do a man’s job
and decency and integrity
was long gone
and every thing turned around
the self, the ego and here and now
and with those that kissed her feet
she was nice and sweet
and with the rest
the devil wears high heels.
poem by Gert Strydom
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Lucky Girl
Im a lucky girl
I found my friend
Ive been all around the world
Mission impossible
Chasing the rainbows end
Wise guys
Shy guys
And sly lover boys
With big bad bedroom eyes ...
I never loved a man I trusted
As far as I could pitch my shoe
til I loved you
Youre my lucky star
Youre my magician
You make the night prowling disappear
Vanished from the star-war-bars
Empty repetition
I get my heart full here
Playboys
Stray boys
And say, hey, hey boysll treat you like a toy
I never loved a man I trusted
As far as I could pitch my shoe
til I loved you
Cheaters
Woman beaters
And huck finn shucksters hopping parking meters
I never loved a man
I trusted
As far as I could pitch my shoe
til I loved you
Im a lucky girl
I found my friend
I been all around the world
Mission impossible
Chasing the rainbows end
Wise guys
Booby-prize guys
And sly lover boys
With big bad bedroom eyes ...
I never loved a man I trusted
As far as I could throw my shoe
til I loved you
song performed by by Joni Mitchell
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