As we were driving, we saw a sign that said 'Watch For Rocks.' Marta said it should read 'Watch For PRETTY Rocks.' I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke---just to get out of writing a simple letter And I thought I was lazy
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Get Your Rocks Off
by Bob Dylan
You know, there's two ol' maids layin' in the bed,
One picked herself up an' the other one, she said:
"Get your rocks off!
Get your rocks off! (Get 'em off!)
Get your rocks off! (Get 'em off!)
Get your rocks off-a me! (Get 'em off!)"
Well, you know, there late one night up on Blueberry Hill,
One man turned to the other man and said, with a blood-curdlin' chill, he said:
"Get your rocks off! (Get 'em off!)
Get your rocks off! (Get 'em off!)
Get your rocks off! (Get 'em off!)
Get your rocks off-a me! (Get 'em off!)"
Well, you know, we was layin' down around Mink Muscle Creek,
One man said to the other man, he began to speak, he said:
"Get your rocks off! (Get 'em off!)
Get your rocks off! (Get 'em off!)
Get your rocks off! (Get 'em off!)
Get your rocks off-a me! (Get 'em off!)"
Well, you know, we was cruisin' down the highway in a Greyhound bus.
All kinds-a children in the side road, they was hollerin' at us, sayin':
"Get your rocks off! (Get 'em off!)
Get your rocks off! (Get 'em off!)
Get your rocks off! (Get 'em off!)
Get your rocks off-a me!
song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It Is Me
He sat in his own world
writing down the stories
that came to his mind.
He never watched time,
for him there
was no time.
He wrote stories of love,
of mystery and suspense.
He wrote of everything
that popped into his head.
He was not a lonely person
as his characters kept him company.
He wrote things
for every writing sphere,
but there was one thing
he could not write
which may come as a surprise
to everyone.
He could not write a letter
no matter how hard he tried.
His mind went completely blank
whenever he tried.
Yet he could write
just about everything else.
He could write songs,
he could write stories at will.
He could write poems
on everything,
but writing a letter
was something he could not do.
Now all who read this
might take it as a joke,
but it is very true
every word I have spoke,
and how would I know that.
The answer is simple it is me.
19 April 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Cleveland Rocks
(ian hunter)
Three! four!
Three! four!
Three! four!
(bunch of ah-ah-ahs here)
All this energy calling me
Back where it comes from
Its such a crude attitude
Its back where it belongs
All the little kids growing up on the skids are goin
Cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks
Jumpin (jean) gene genies, moody james deanies goin
Cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks
Cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks
Mama knows but she dont care
Shes got her worries too
Seven kids and a phony affair
And the rent is due
All the little chicks with the crimson lips go
Cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks
Shes livinin sin with a safety pin
Shes goin cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks
Cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks
I got some records from world war two
Ill play em just like me grand dad do
He was a rocker and I am too
Oh cleveland rocks, yeah cleveland rocks
So find a place
Grab a space
And yell and scream for more
Cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks
Cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks
Cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks
Cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks
Cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks
Cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks, cleveland rocks
(bunch of ah-ah-ahs here)
Three! four!
Three! four!
Three! four!
Ohio
song performed by by Ian Hunter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Where Are The Lionheart
Destiny took me in her arms and told me:
"You're a little lost on the fall.
You fall for all the men
You shouldn't fall for all at all."
Ooh, I know she knows, but still I go on,
Well, I'm a fool.
Climbing up the ladders
To slide down the adders
On the rocks,
On the rocks,
On the rocks,
On the rocks...
Joan of Arc walks into my mirror,
A burning sword.
I'd like to cry.
I look into her eyes.
I see she's seen the long days and night.
"Ooh," she says,
"The games are still the same, I see,
But they've changed the names now.
Are all Lionhearts put in parks, apart?"
Lionhearts in the asylums,
Lionhearts tossed at sea,
Lionhearts who've lived their lives, like Arthur.
Lionhearts in cathedrals,
Lionhearts at mournings,
Lionhearts in every seed
But they're sown
On the rocks,
On the rocks,
On the rocks,
On the rocks...
Somebody I couldn't see
Tied me up and put me away,
Here on the rocks,
Here on the rocks,
Here on the rocks...
song performed by by Kate Bush
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Rocks
I was a timid little antelope;
My home was in the rocks, the lonely rocks.
I saw the hunters scouring on the plain;
I lived among the rocks, the lonely rocks.
I was a-thirsty in the summer-heat;
I ventured to the tents beneath the rocks.
Zuleikah brought me water from the well;
Since then I have been faithless to the rocks.
I saw her face reflected in the well;
Her camels since have marched into the rocks.
I look to see her image in the well;
I only see my eyes, my own sad eyes.
My mother is alone among the rocks.
poem by William Makepeace Thackeray
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Held Up Without A Gun
I was out driving, just taking it slow
Looked at my tank it was reading low
Pulled in an exxon station out on highway one
Look out!
Help up without a gun
Help up without a gun
Help up without a gun
(some man) drew eight hundred dollars (doing off a
Squeeze)
Aint got nowhere to go and nothing to eat
(driving up so blow us) better sign here son
Watch out!
Help up without a gun
Help up without a gun
Now its a sin and it oughta be a crime
You know it happens buddy all the time
If I dont break the limit tryin to have a little fun
Help up without a gun
Help up without a gun
Help up without a gun
Help up without a gun
song performed by by Bruce Springsteen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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No Simple Life
Life is simple but not for me
It's just not easy doing ABC
People think that I'm lazy
I just thought I was going crazy
It's hard to do my work I find
Because It's always on my mind
Reading, writing and arithmetic
Do I really have to do it
Not being able to read, write or spell
Living in this bubble of hell
I try to escape from thoughts and strife
No one knows my secret life
Or the struggle that I face each day
Dyslexia is real and it's here to stay.
Life is simple, it's just not easy.
poem by Hazel Connelly
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Watch Out
You move like a flame of fire
Your eyes like a flash of lightning
The answer to all desire
And Im gonna tame you, wild thing
Youd better watch out
I said youd better watch out
Watch out
Anywhere you go Ill find you
Watch out
Ill be staying close behind you
And Ive tired of waiting (oooh-a-la-la)
Yes its driving me crazy (oooh-a-la-la-la)
And my patience is fading (oooh-a-la-la)
Oh, youd better watch out
I said youd better watch out
Its been kind of funny lately
You act like I was a stranger
I think youre beginning to hate me
But then youre a girl in danger
Youd better watch out
Ooh, I said youd better watch out
Watch out
Anywhere you go Ill find you
Watch out
Ill be staying close behind you
And Ive tired of waiting (oooh-a-la-la)
Yes its driving me crazy (oooh-a-la-la-la)
And my patience is fading (oooh-a-la-la)
So youd better watch out
Yes I said youd better watch out
Watch out
Watch out
And Ive tired of waiting (oooh-a-la-la)
Yes its driving me crazy (oooh-a-la-la-la)
And my patience is fading (oooh-a-la-la)
I said youd better watch out
Oh girl youd better watch out
Ah, youd better watch out
Ooh, ah, youd better watch out
song performed by by ABBA
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Your Dear John Letter
When you wrote me a letter
To tell me I'm better off without you
A tear ran down my face
I wiped it away
Before I thought anyone would see
I ripped the letter in little pieces
So no one would read it
But now I wished I didn't
I have nothing but your memory now
But that's slowly slipping away
And if you died
I probably wouldn't cry about it
Because I cried enough for you
In the last couple of years
I guess when you told me
I was better off in the letter
I didn't believe you then
But now I know
That best thing you ever did
Was to write the letter
That broke my heart that fateful day
Dear Eloise
(clarke / hicks / nash)
Dear eloise, I am writing to say
A number of funny thing I heard today.
I heard that hes left you and run off to sea.
Could be the best thing thats happened to me.
Writing a letter to make you feel better.
Sorry to hear that he left you that way.
I could have told you, he was much older,
So much older than you.
You rushed blindly, he treated you kindly
Until he found out what he could get from you.
You should have departed before he got started.
Now youve been burned just like I said you would.
Please read my letter closely.
Its beneficial, too.
You must read in-between the lines,
A message you will see.
If you use your mind, youll find
I want you back with me.
Verse 2
So much older than you, so much older than you.
Chorus
song performed by by Hollies
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rocks In My Bed
My heart is heavy as lead
Because the blues has done spread
Rocks in my bed
Of all the people I see
Why do they pick on poor me
And put rocks in my bed
All night long I weep
So how can I sleep
With rocks in my bed
Theres only two kinds of people
I cant understand
Theres only two kinds of people
I cant understand
Thats a deceitful woman
And a hard faced man
She took my man away
And aint goin bring him back
She took my man away
And aint goin bring him back
Shes lower than a snake down in a wagon track
(bridge)
I got rocks in my bed
I got rocks in my bed
Rocks in my bed
I got rocks in my bed
Under-loved, over-fed
My mans gone, so instead
I got rocks in my bed
Under-loved, over-fed
My mans gone, so instead
I got rocks in my bed
song performed by by Ella Fitzgerald
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Back To The Machine Gun
I awaken about noon and go out to get the mail
in my old torn bathrobe.
I'm hung over
hair down in my eyes
barefoot
gingerly walking on the small sharp rocks
in my path
still afraid of pain behind my four-day beard.
the young housewife next door shakes a rug
out of her window and sees me:
"hello, Hank!"
god damn! it's almost like being shot in the ass
with a .22
"hello," I say
gathering up my Visa card bill, my Pennysaver coupons,
a Dept. of Water and Power past-due notice,
a letter from the mortgage people
plus a demand from the Weed Abatement Department
giving me 30 days to clean up my act.
I mince back again over the small sharp rocks
thinking, maybe I'd better write something tonight,
they all seem
to be closing in.
there's only one way to handle those motherfuckers.
the night harness races will have to wait.
poem by Charles Bukowski
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Ten To Fifteen Years Would Be Ideal
Your Honor...
I take full responsibility for my actions.
When I stopped my car,
In the middle of the highway...
And told the kids,
That I was driving home from school...
If they found me so boring,
To go play on the highway!
I didn't think they would take me literally.
Who knew?
The police report stating,
I had a gun...
And making the kids run one by one,
Across the highway is exaggerated.
I did not have a gun.
It was a bat!
And I had 'HAD' it.
Sorry, Your Honor.
Of late...
I have become very emotional.
So...
If there is any rehabilitation programs,
You believe I may be qualified to enter...
I would be so grateful.
Ten to fifteen years would be ideal.
As a suggestion.
However...
If you feel I am needing more time,
Behind bars...
I will leave that entirely up to you.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lazy Man's Song
I have got patronage, but am too lazy to use it;
I have got land, but am too lazy to farm it.
My house leaks; I am too lazy to mend it.
My clothes are torn; I am too lazy to darn them.
I have got wine, but am too lazy to drink;
So it's just the same as if my cellar were empty.
I have got a harp, but am too lazy to play;
So it's just the same as if it had no strings.
My wife tells me there is no more bread in the house;
I want to bake, but am too lazy to grind.
My friends and relatives write me long letters;
I should like to read them, but they're such a bother
to open.
I have always been told that Chi Shu-yeh1
Passed his whole life in absolute idleness.
But he played the harp and sometimes transmuted metals,
So even he was not so lazy as I
Kings Cross
The man at the back of the queue was sent
To feel the smack of firm government
Linger by the flyposter, for a fight
Its the same story every night
Ive been hurt and weve been had
You leave home, and you dont go back
Someone told me monday, someone told me saturday
Wait until tomorrow and theres still no way
Read it in a book or write it in a letter
Wake up in the morning and theres still no guarantee
Only last night I found myself lost
By the station called kings cross
Dead and wounded on either side
You know its only a matter of time
Ive been good and Ive been bad
Ive been guilty of hanging around
Someone told me monday, someone told me saturday
Wait until tomorrow and theres still no way
Read it in a book or write it in a letter
Wake up in the morning and theres still no guarantee
So I went looking out today
For the one who got away
Murder walking round the block
Ending up in kings cross
Good luck, bad luck waiting in a line
It takes more than the matter of time
Someone told me monday, someone told me saturday
Wait until tomorrow and theres still no way
Read it in a book or write it in a letter
Wake up in the morning and theres still no guarantee
Someone told me monday, someone told me saturday
Wait until tomorrow and theres still no way
Read it in a book or write it in a letter
Wake up in the morning and theres still no guarantee
And theres still no guarantee
There is still no guarantee
song performed by by Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Rocks And The Cliff In Front Of Me
the rocks in front of me
are layered like sheets of paper works
a load i must suppose for
centuries unread
the grasses of the desert
have come to cover
a part of the history of their
shale
i am the shadow at noonday
asking
what these rocks can do for me?
or shall i say
rocks, rocks, boulders of rocks
tell me the heaviness of your
burden
tell the secrets of your
strengths
the echoes keep on rebounding
sounding like the
laughter of a madman
asking the questions and
figuring out the answers
from the same sound
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Disneyland
I Woke up got my lazy ass out of bed
I Watered all the rocks growing in my head
I Had a thoughtand fell asleep on you
There I was somewhere West of Tomorrow Land
Flying through the stars just like Peter Pan
I saidDamn this looks too good to be true
There she goes my heart again (would you mind rolling over)
I can feel it in the air (something's coming down)
I don't know and I don't care that it's a small world
It's a nice day if you wake up in Disneyland
It's a nice day when you wake up in Disneyland
In my dream everybody's got a little house
A dog, a bank account managed by Mickey Mouse
And the only thing we fight about is the Lakers
In my dream all the pirates down in Neverland
Never get the Hook they just get a hand
While the crocs sing Superman till we just can't take it
There she goes my heart again (do you mind rolling over)
I can feel it in the air (something's coming down)
I don't know and I don't care if it's a small world
It's a nice day when you wake up in Disneyland
It's a nice day if you wake up in Disneyland
We can fly away:
I Woke up got my lazy ass out of bed
I Watered all the rocks growing in my head
I Had a thought and I looked up to see
The sign read the park she's closed today
E-tickets don't work here no more anyway
Where every day's a magic day to be free You see
It's a nice day when you wake up in Disneyland
It's a nice day should you wake up in Disneyland
It's your L.U.C.K.Y. day should you wake up in Disneyland
It's a nice day should you wake up in Disneyland
song performed by by Five For Fighting
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ordinary Dream
I couldnt really understand at all
The writing on the wall
From you to me
A jigsaw puzzle of a twisted tale
That set its lonely sail
From you to me
cause I tried to get the message
But its not understood
Wide apart and so far away
It mattered at the start until I realized instead ....
Im floating in a troubled sky
Watching you as you go by
In an ordinary dream
Im sailing on a troubled sea
Watching you as you watch me
In an ordinary dream
I couldnt understand a word it said
The letter that I read
From you to me
I couldnt fathom out the stuff you wrote
So I guess its just a joke
From you to me
Though reality keeps calling me away from my dream
And the wreakage isnt all it might have been
Didnt matter at the start until I realized it did
Im floating in a troubled sky
Watching you as you go by
In an ordinary dream
Im sailing on a troubled sea
Watching you as you watch me
In an ordinary dream
Im floating in a troubled sky
Watching you as you go by
In an ordinary dream
Im sailing on a troubled sea
Watching you as you watch me
In an ordinary dream
Ordinary dream
Ordinary dream
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Wicked Postman
Why do you sit there on the floor so quiet and silent, tell me,
mother dear?
The rain is coming in through the open window, making you all
wet, and you don't mind it.
Do you hear the gong striking four? It is time for my brother
to come home from school.
What has happened to you that you look so strange?
Haven't you got a letter from father today?
I saw the postman bringing letters in his bag for almost
everybody in the town.
Only father's letters he keeps to read himself. I am sure the
postman is a wicked man.
But don't be unhappy about that, mother dear.
Tomorrow is market day in the next village. You ask your maid
to buy some pens and papers.
I myself will write all father's letters; you will not find
a single mistake.
I shall write from A right up to K.
But, mother, why do you smile?
You don't believe that I can write as nicely as father does!
But I shall rule my paper carefully, and write all the letters
beautifully big.
When I finish my writing do you think I shall be so foolish
as father and drop it into the horrid postman's bag?
I shall bring it to you myself without waiting, and letter by
letter help you to read my writing.
I know the postman does not like to give you the really nice
letters.
poem by Rabindranath Tagore
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SO. Central Rain
Did you never call? I waited for your call
These rivers of suggestion are driving me away
The trees will bend, the cities wash away
The city on the river has a girl without a dream
I'm sorry
Eastern to Mountain, third party call, the lines are down
The wise man wrote his words upon the rocks
But I'm not bound to follow suit
The trees will bend, the conversation's dimmed
Go build yourself another home, this choice isn't mine
Did you never call? I waited for your call
These rivers of suggestion are driving me away
The ocean sang, the cities wash away
Go build yourself another dream, this choice isn't mine
song performed by by REM
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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