Laurie got offended that I used the word 'puke.' But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Sweet Mary - Sweet Laurie
Mary, born a little pre
had some trouble breathing,
also, nightly she would pee
and she screamed while teething.
In the private school she met
Laurie from Chicago
Laurie wore a silver net
loved old Doc Tshivago.
Laurie was a trifle sweet
had no use for men,
got just formula to eat
though she rated ten.
Missed the milk that Nature makes,
which was one good reason
to demand those frequent breaks
during hunting season.
Meaning, puberty and all
girls are searching daily
Laurie who was rather tall
laughed and smiled so gaily,
when they had the prom that year
Laurie tasted Mary,
and she dumped, (for good I fear)
Polish boy named Harry.
Harry had, (he was quite mad)
followed Mary over,
Harry's uncle told the lad
(was an Aussie drover) ,
get your hands on any bird
never pay no mind,
what she says, and take my word
grab her from behind.
Harry tried and was rebuffed
Laurie was to smitten!
Harry pouted, Harry huffed
from the lovebug bitten.
In the flat on 69
girls were reminiscin'
after some cheap Gallo wine
they were gently kissin'.
Later on, when Laurie woke
Mary said I reckon,
you are better than a bloke
all they want is neckin'.
If we practice, Laury said
try manipulation,
here in our Kingsize bed
we may get lactation.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Poet Laurie Ate
Laurie was my dog
And he loved to bite
He wasn't very clever
And not at all bright.
He didn't like my friend
A mad poet called Fred
One day Laurie bit him
On the back of his head.
Fred wasn't at all pleased
And bit my dog back
So Laurie retaliated
And went on the attack.
They wrestled on the floor
And Fred got bit a lot
So to get my dog off him
I hit the mutt with a flowerpot.
But Laurie was very tough
And the pot bounced off his head
Then poor old Fred stopped moving
In fact he was now Dead.
I didn't know what to do
The poet didn't deserve to die
Looking down at Laurie
I asked this crazy dog Why?
But he just didn't care
And kept chewing at Fred
This loony dog was eating him
The he swallowed dead Fred's head.
Poor Fred was now all gone
But this must have been his fate
To lose his life to a psycho dog
The poet Laurie ate.
poem by Kevin Halls
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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People only stutter at the beginning of the word. They're not afraid when they get to the end of the word. There's just regret.
quote by Laurie Anderson
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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If I hear the word 'perky' again, I'll puke.
quote by Katie Couric
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Duet
Milestone:
All my troubles disappear,
When the dinner-bell I hear,
Over woodland, dale, and fell,
Swinging slow with solemn swell,---
The dinner-bell! the dinner-bell!
Hippy:
What can bid my heart-ache fly?
What can bid my heart-ache die?
What can all the ills dispel,
In my morbid frame that dwell?
The dinner-bell! the dinner-bell!
Both:
Hark!---along the tangled ground,
Loudly floats the pleasing sound!
Sportive Fauns to Dryads tell,
'Tis the cheerful dinner-bell!
The dinner-bell! the dinner-bell!
poem by Thomas Love Peacock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A lot of words in English confuse the idea of life and electricity, like the word livewire.
quote by Laurie Anderson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dinner Bell
Ive been leaving on my things
So in the morning when the morning bird sings
Theres still dinner on my dinner jacket
til the dinner bell rings
Experimental dog*
Salivating dog
Good dog
Waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing (waiting for the dinner bell)
Dinner bell dinner bell ring
Ive been leaving on my things
So in the morning when the morning bird sings
Theres still dinner on my dinner jacket
til the dinner bell rings
I dont want a pizza, I dont want a piece of (experimental dog)
Peanut brittle, I dont want a pear.
I dont want a bagel I dont want a bean I wouldnt like (salivating dog)
A bag of beef or a beer or a
Cup of chowder, corn, cake, or creamed cauliflower cause Im (good dog)
Waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing (waiting for the dinner bell)
Dinner bell dinner bell ring
Shoulder, bicep, elbow, arm
Forearm, thumb, wrist, knuckle, palm
Middle, pinky, index, ring
Dinner bell dinner bell ding
I dont know whether Id rather be having a bottle of vinegar (experimental dog)
I dont know whether Id rather be having an egg.
I dont know whether Id rather be having an order of bacon (salivating dog)
Or whether Id rather be having a basket of garlic bread.
I dont know whether Id rather be having some pie or (good dog)
Saving my appetite cause im
Waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing (waiting for the dinner bell)
Dinner bell dinner bell ring
Ive been leaving on my things (Ive been leaving on)
So in the morning when the morning bird sings (the morning)
Theres still dinner on my dinner jacket (on my)
til the dinner bell does the bell thing
Dinner bell dinner bell do the bell thing
Im waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing (waiting for the ding)
Dinner bell dinner bell ding ding ding
Waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing (waiting for the ding)
Dinner bell dinner bell ding ding ding
Waiting for the dinner bell to do the bell thing (waiting for the ding)
Dinner bell dinner bell ding
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Point Of View
Thanksgiving dinner's sad and thankless
Christmas dinner's dark and blue
When you stop and try to see it
From the turkey's point of view.
Sunday dinner isn't sunny
Easter feasts are just bad luck
When you see it from the viewpoint
Of a chicken or a duck.
Oh how I once loved tuna salad
Pork and lobsters, lamb chops too
'Til I stopped and looked at dinner
From the dinner's point of view.
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Today... 'The Word
Word of love and the Word made flesh
Word incarnate forever blessed
Word of life and the Word of light
Word of power and Word of might.
Word that was spoken, Word of the Lord
Word of the Law and the Word of God
Word of peace and Word eternal
Word of truth and last Word of all.
Word of wisdom and the Word of healing
Word from heaven, a Word so appealing
Word fulfilling the Word of prophecy
Word of the Spirit and Word of destiny.
Word of exhortation and Word of grace
Word of encouragement and Word of faith
Word of promise and a Word of insight
Word from the beginning and Word of delight.
Word of knowledge and a Word of boldness
Word of peace and the Word of righteousness
Word of the covenant and Word of love
Word of the Father from heaven above.
(see also the additional information in the Poet's notes box)
Century
Everybody's here
Puke stinks like beer
This could be a city
This could be a graveyard
You stole my idea
You stole my idea
Everybody's anxious
For the coming of the crisis
The collapse of the justice
I can smell your armpits
You stole my idea
You stole my idea
You stole my idea
This puke stinks like beer and everybody's here
Come on
song performed by by Live from Secret Samadhi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Word
Find the word, understand the word,
Depend on the word;
The word is heaven and space, the word the earth,
The word the universe.
The word is in our ears, the word is on our tongues,
The word the idol.
The word is the holy book, the word is harmony,
The word is music.
The word is magic, the word the Guru.
The word is the body, the word is the spirit, the word is being,
The word Not-being.
The word is man, the word is woman,
The Worshipped Great.
The word is the seen and unseen, the word is the existent
And the non-existent.
Know the word, says Kabir,
The word is All-powerful.
Parting Words
When I go from hence
let this be my parting word,
that what I have seen is unsurpassable.
I have tasted of the hidden honey of this lotus
that expands on the ocean of light,
and thus am I blessed
---let this be my parting word.
In this playhouse of infinite forms
I have had my play
and here have I caught sight of him that is formless.
My whole body and my limbs
have thrilled with his touch who is beyond touch;
and if the end comes here, let it come
---let this be my parting word.
poem by Rabindranath Tagore
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Accompanied With Empathy
Why would someone do a thing on purpose,
To then declare the act as a mistake?
And then expect to be forgiven,
Accompanied with empathy, comprehension...
And a dinner invitation extended,
By the one who has been offended...
But has elected to offer,
An all expense paid trip to the Caribbean...
For two weeks just to show,
there are no feelings of retribution.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Dialogue Between Two Predators
it starts like this: hello
is hello that important? yes
is dinner important to you? no, i just had one
dinner must be important to you
since you have had no dinner yet, yes
can i have you for dinner? me> for food?
i am not delicious.
but you may swallow me alive...big shark!
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Unaccustomed to Having An Identity
Have you ever been in a situation,
In which you insulted others...
When you had a preference,
To begin to use your own given name?
And others became offended by that?
Others became offended...
Because you announced a clarity of your identity.
AND...
This offended?
AND...
You then became so proud of who you were,
Your entire presence began to threaten?
Especially those unaccustomed to having an identity!
The ones from birth until death,
Are only known by their nicknames.
And they are related to people who will never know,
Their real names.
Ever!
Have you ever been in a situation,
In which you insulted others...
When you had a preference,
To begin to use your own given name?
And the next thing they want you to do,
Is to get 'right' with God.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Cups Of Knowledge!
I HAVE TASTED OF THE CUP OF LOBSANG RAMPA'S KNOWLEDGE!
AND I WAS SATISFIED!
I HAVE TASTED OF THE CUP OF CHINUA ACHEBE'S KNOWLEDGE!
AND I WAS SATISFIED!
I HAVE TASTED OF THE CUPS OF WOLE SOYINKA'S KNOWLEDGE!
AND THE SOY-INKER'S KNOWLEDGE GAVE ME SATISFACTION!
OF THE CUPS OF AGATHA CHRISTIE'S KNOWLEDGE, I HAVE ALSO DRANK!
AND I AM REFRESHED AND SATISFIED!
OF THE CUPS OF CYPRIAN EKWENSI'S KNOWLEDGE I HAVE ALSO TASTED!
INDEED, I WAS SATISFIED!
I HAVE TASTED OF THE TALE TELLING KNOWLEDGES OF JAMES HARDLEY CHASE!
AND, I AM PLEASED!
DRINK OF THIS CUPS AND KNOW WISDOM! KNOWLEDGE! AND UNDERSTANDING!
AS I HAVE KNOWN ALSO!
THE KNOWLEDGE RUSH OF THE CUPS OF OVERLORD DON MANUEL IHCAKEYNO IS A MIGHTY OCEAN!
DRINK UNTO INFINITY!
poem by Overlord Don Manuel Ihcakeyno
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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One thing is certain. The old Piper Laurie is no more.
quote by Piper Laurie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Unravel
The bat unravels
His life
By flying high inside the dark caves
But also people went into the dark caves where the bats were
And they never made a sound
Also I congratulated them because they are brave
Eventhough inside of the cave was water and they went for a splash Also
But they caught some eel for them to have for dinner
But the german men that went in the cave found so many water snakes and He caught some water snakes for his dinner and he grilled The water snakes Outside the caves but the other people had to eat The eel raw
But the German men said that the snakes tasted so good that Reminded him of grilled chicken
poem by Aldo Kraas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Puke On Cops
look at me now. full on the run. i can't stop myself from crashing. breaking grass, bumming a yard. fixing stuff that was never broken. pulling out all the stops. i'm gonna puck on the cops. i'm telling the kids, punk rocks. i'm gonna puke on cops. gimme a side of airplane noise or a half a glass of our resistance. add a dash of disobedient public nusant, richtor riot. pulling out all the stops. i'm gonna puck on the cops. i'm telling the kids, punk rocks. i'm gonna puke on cops.
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Fur Mites - 1917 - Parody Ogden Nash - The Termite, Harry Graham - Ruthless Rhymes
Some fur mites hop from hair to hair,
we seek them here, there, everywhere,
that's why we might flee from this day
flea-ridden wraps men trap as prey.
The Termite
Some primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good!
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.
Ogden Nash
The Hittite
Some primal Hittite mined some ore,
he found it strong and mined some more.
and that is why we have today
no Coca-Cola cans of clay.
Shy Lady Laurie 2001
(9 September 2009)
poem by Jonathan Robin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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