If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Ferryer
Three years after my father's death
he goes back to work. Unemployed
for twenty-five years, he's very glad
to be taken on again, shows up
on time, tireless worker. He sits
in the prow of the boat, sweet cox, turned
with his back to the carried. He is dead, but able
to kneel upright, facing forward
toward the other shore. Someone has closed
his mouth, so he looks more comfortable, not
thirsty or calling out, and his eyes
are open, there under the iris the black
line that appeared there in death. He is calm,
he is happy to be hired, he's in business again,
his new job is a joke between us and he
loves to have a joke with me, he keeps
a straight face. He waits, naked,
ivory bow figurehead,
ribs, nipples, lips, a gaunt
tall man, and when I bring people
and set them in the boat and push them off
my father poles them across the river
to the far bank. We don't speak,
he knows that this is simply someone
I want to get rid of, who makes me feel
ugly and afraid. I do not say
the way you did. He knows the labor
and loves it. When I dump someone in
he does not look back, he takes them straight
to hell. He wants to work for me
until I die. Then, he knows, I will
come to him, get in his boat
and be taken across, then hold out my broad
hand to his, help him ashore, we will
embrace like two who were never born,
naked, not breathing then up to our chins we will
pull the dark blanket of earth and
rest together at the end of the working day.
poem by Sharon Olds
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lobster trap
my mind cool in seawater
and the fateful lobster
haiku by John Tiong Chunghoo
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Slow Boat To China
Lets take a slow boat to china. leave from south carolina
Lets take our time and go the long way
On a junk boat to thailand with your hand in mine hand
I sure hope we got something to say
Well, this old boats go no sail so wont you please hold our mail-
For awhile
Thanks anyway pal but the suez canal -
Aint our style
Lets take a slow boat to china and maybe well find a
New way to play those same old games
The stars just might show us and the captain will know us
Shake our hands and call us by our first names
Well send a postcard to grandpa of a vase or rickshaw-
He dont care
Well buy mom a kimono or maybe well just phone her -
When were there
Well drink sake at night beneath the soft harbor lights-
On the bay
Well build house on the hill next to shangri-li bill -
And well stay
Lets take that slow boat to china (lets go)
Slow boat to china (real slow)
Slow boat to china (lets go)
Slow boat to china (real slow)
Lets go real slow
song performed by by John Prine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's a Cartoon
He revealed a cartoon of his birth.
Meant at a conference to be a joke.
Since there had been such a controversy,
If, indeed, he was qualified to lead!
And where he was born,
Had been the focus of 'certain' folks.
However,
Just to be sure those observing knew,
The cartoon was not real...
He thought it was in the best of interest,
To announce to those watching...
What they viewed,
Was in fact...
A cartoon.
And 'not' a real depiction!
'Comeon!
Seriously.
It isn't real.
It 'is' a cartoon.'
Yet...
There they sat.
Some questioning and unconvinced.
Since a few wanted to use it,
As a news broadcast exclusive...
To prove finally there was evidence.
'Honest.
It is a joke.
It isn't real.
The producers of it are in our presence.
And they will confirm what I say is true.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Keep This In Your Mind And Soul All The Time
You can not sit on your wishes and dreams,
Expecting to be given a change of scene.
Get up and make it real what it is you wish.
Get up and make it real what it is you dream.
No boat is going to float over your threshold.
Keep this in your mind and soul all the time,
No boat is going to float over your threshold.
To allow you to wine and dine.
If you've got the melody and the rhythm with rhyme,
You've got to move this from your mind to your feet.
No one but you can make real whatever it is,
You want to chew with your teeth.
If you have a need to eat...
You are the one that has to cook.
You alone have to supply and stir up the heat!
Keep this in your mind and soul all the time,
No boat is going to float over your threshold.
To allow you to wine and dine.
You can not sit on your wishes and dreams,
Expecting to be given a change of scene.
Get up and make it real what it is you wish.
Get up and make it real what it is you dream.
No boat is going to float over your threshold,
Anytime soon.
If you're not prepared to row or energize that boat...
You might as well float off and go back to sleep.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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A Paper-boat just on the Sea!
A paper-boat, I tend to be!
The sea of life is too stormy;
Afraid I am, it could sink me,
Before I can reach land’s safety!
But if He wants, the Almighty,
Could work miracles still for me;
And guide the boat to shore safely,
And keep me dry eternally!
A paper-boat just on the sea!
How can it float for long freely?
And when the sea becomes angry,
Can it escape its cruelty?
But all the same, I move slowly;
Nothing on earth can deter me;
Unless something so cowardly,
Drenches the boat mercilessly.
A paper-boat just on the sea!
I know I must make it surely;
And when I reach the shore, may be,
I will feel immensely happy!
A paper-boat just on life’s sea!
Who else would want to be like me?
God is my guide and my safety;
In Him, I have strong faith truly!
A paper-boat just on the sea!
A paper-boat, I tend to be;
A paper-boat, I want to be-
A paper-boat just on life’s sea!
Copyright by Dr John Celes 4-26-2000
poem by John Celes
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911 Is A Joke
Now I dialed nine one one a long time ago
Dont you see how late theyre reactin
They only come, and they come when they wanna
So get the morgue truck em back the goner
They dont care cause they stay paid anyway
They treat you like an ace that cant be betrayed
I know you stumble with no use people
If your life is on the line, then youre dead today
Late comings with the late comin stretcher -
Thats a body bag in disguise - yall Ill betcha
I call em body snatchers
Quick they come to fetch you -
With an autopsy ambulance just to dissect ya
They are the kings cos they swing amputation
Lose your arms your legs the famous compilation
I can prove it to you watch the rotation
It all adds up to a funky situation
Get up, get get down
911 is a joke in yo town
Get up, get get down
Late 911 wears the late crown
(chorus)
(ow)
911 is a joke , 911 is a joke
Everyday they dont never come correct
You can ask my man right here with the broken neck
Hes a witness to the job never bein done
He wouldve been in full effect , 911
Is a joke because their always jokin
They the token to your life when its croakin
They need to be in a pawn shop on a 911 -
Is a joke we dont want em
I call a cab cause a cab will come quicker
The doctors huddle up and call a flea flicker
The reason that I say that cause they
Flick you off like fleas
They be laughin at ya while youre crawlin on our knees
And to the strength, so go the length
Thinkin you are first when you really are tenth
You better wake up and smell the real flavor
Cause 911 is a fake life saver
(chorus) (chorus)
Ow, ow 911 is a joke
911 is a joke,
911 is a joke,
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke.
(get up, get get down)
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke
(get up, get get down)
911 is a joke, 911 is a joke, 911 is a joke
(get up, get get down)
Ooooh, yeahh
song performed by by Duran Duran
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Work That Needs Doing… Later.
Work.
There is always work to be done.
Real work, busy work, work I make for myself.
But it doesn’t need doing right away.
And so I procrastinate.
It will bring stress later on
When it is multiplied.
But I’m okay with that.
Now, the real problem is
That I may take time now to relax and enjoy life,
But the thought of work still lingers
To trouble my mind
And prohibit relaxation.
And still I procrastinate.
The Glendy Burk
De
Glendy Burk
is mighty fast boat,
Wid a mighty fast captain too;
He sits up dah on de hurricane roof
And he keeps his eye on de crew.
I can't stay here, for dey work too hard;
I'm bound to leave dis town;
I'll take my duds and tote 'em on my back
When de
Glendy Burk
comes down.
Chorus:
Ho! for Lou'siana!
I'm bound to leave dis town;
I'll take my duds and tote 'em on my back
When de Glendy Burk comes down.
De
Glendy Burk
has a funny old crew
And dey sing de boatman's song,
Dey burn de pitch and de pine knot too,
For to shove de boat along.
De smoke goes up and de ingine roars
And de wheel goes round and round,
So fair you well! for I'll take a little ride
When de
Glendy Burk
comes down.
Chorus
I'll work all night in de wind and storm,
I'll work all day in de rain,
'Till I find myself on de levydock
In New Orleans again.
Dey make me mow in de hay field here
And knock my head wid de flail,
I'll go wha dey work wid de sugar and de cane
And roll on de cotten bale.
Chorus
My lady love is as pretty as a pink,
I'll meet her on de way
I'll take her back to de sunny old south
And day I'll make her stay
So don't you fret my honey dear,
Oh! don't you fret, Miss Brown
I'll take you back 'fore de middle of de week
When de
Glendy Burk
comes down.
Chorus
poem by Stephen C. Foster
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The Boatman Recalls and Repents
Riverside market to markets,
The boat man had propelled with a long pole.
Mat roofed boat,
Full of goods and intrigues,
Gets visible with
High tide of recollections…
Boiling rice on kerosene stove
And a blinking night lamp
Boil and blink again.
Had plucked tender coconuts
From the grove nearby,
When its owner fast asleep.
Had shattered the widow’s solitude
On the bank of Kanoli canal.
Had peeped into the secrecy
Of bathing village damsels…
Moist events after events
The boat man recalls and repents.
Roads became kings,
Boat decay tied,
And the boat man a wrinkled storyteller,
Often, looking up the sky
For the rain washing out all.
poem by Fabiyas M V
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It Is A Joke
it is a joke
and it will always be
a joke
that how it is,
it is a joke, my own joke, and i laugh
when i remember it,
i send it to you and you send it back
like a ping-pong ball
it bounces and i see it coming
back to me
it hits me right in my eyes
got double vision, cross-eyed
i am hurt. It is not a joke anymore.
it is here beside
a tear, a bruise, stained and scarred.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Lovehunter
(coverdale/moody/marsden)
I need a woman to treat me good
And give me everything a good woman should
Everyday and every night
Shed be waiting on her brown-eyed boy
To come and treat her right
Im a love hunter baby
Sneaking up on you,
Im a love hunter baby
Sneaking up on you
Im gonna give you all my loving
And use my tail on you
In my time Ive been a back door man,
Ive taken everything I could
But, Ive given all I can
I dont want no woman
To weep or moan,
Im looking for a sweet heartbreaker
And Im never gonna leave her alone
Im a love hunter baby
Sneaking up on you,
Im a love hunter baby
What you gonna do?
Im gonna give you all my loving
And use my tail on you
Im a love hunter baby
Sneaking up on you,
Im a love hunter baby
What you gonna do?
Im gonna give you all my loving
And use my tail on you
cos Im a love hunter baby,
Im a love hunter baby...
Im a love hunter baby
Sneaking up on you
Im sneaking up on you!
song performed by by Whitesnake
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fast Car
Like the car he drives,
He will pass you in the fast lane of life,
Like the blaring music from his car,
He loves life and a good joke,
Like the roaring engine of his car,
His temper will take off like a racer to the finish line,
With his fast car he ran straight through everyones heart,
When his engine went he went along with his fast car to heaven,
Going fast as he could down the road of eternal sleep,
While he lies in his eternal sleep never to wake his fast
car lies with him!
R.I.P Javier Solis Medina
poem by Jamie Drake
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Lies
Baby
What do I do
Playing my tune for you
Just to get you in the mood
Everybodys going to hollywood
Youre driving me mad
But Im smiling to the crowd instead
A lot of money is at stake, this is a hit and thats a fake
This is what you mean to me
This is what they all should see
Make a make up in a foolish style
Telling the truth by making a big lie
When I come, I come but nothings at ease
Breaking up the whole is a modern disease
Maybe you think tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
My love
Everythings an interview
And nothings really new
And everybodys looking for clues and you know what to do with a clue
My love
Get ready for the show
Theyre waiting and they will never go
This night is just a go
And its only for show
Dig that deal and be a millionaire
Drinking cocktails in the stratosphere
Getting jetlagged with my business friends in these supersonic wonderlands
Theres a flicker on the graphic display, first hes smiling then hes fading away
Maybe he thinks tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
Gold/1984
song performed by by Alphaville
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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On The High Price Of Fish
Cocoa-nut naught,
Fish too dear,
None must be bought,
For us that are here:
No lobster on earth,
That ever I saw,
To me would be worth
Sixpence a claw.
So dear madam, wait
Till fish can be got
At a reas'nable rate
Whether lobster or not;
Till the French and the Dutch
Have quitted the seas,
And then send as much
And as oft as you please.
poem by William Cowper
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Work Without Pay [mizz.copper]
Hammer closed the sale that day.
Your sweat man-profit of ways.
Work in the field, sun is hot.
Water boy, fast or maybe not.
Master wants more work today.
You have no real say.
What is the time of morn.
Sun down-fullmoon- work long.
Cant ever stop this pace.
Thought I was part of the human race.
More ships are comming ashore.
Work without pay-open door.
Man has found many ways.
Pet dogs and bones of may.
[GOOGLE: search, POEWHIT]
poem by Joe Poewhit
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Friend-Ship
My friendship is sinking,
I'm bailing out water as fast as I can,
Move too quickly the boat will tip over,
Move too slowly the faster it will sink,
Seconds away from abandoning ship,
But there's land in sight,
So close to shore,
Tying a rope to the boat,
Jumping into the water,
The water is so cold,
Pulling the boat to shore,
Moving too slowly,
Waves threatening to take the boat away,
Waves threatening to take me away,
Suddenly the shore seems so far away,
Waves fill the boat with water,
The burden of the weight of the water,
Becomes unbearable,
The rope is pulled out of my hands,
And the boat sinks,
Pulling me under,
I swim to the surface,
Swim to shore,
Once on shore I look back,
There is nothing left of the Friend-ship
poem by Mandy Author2
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Friend-Ship
My friendship is sinking,
I'm bailing out water as fast as I can,
Move too quickly the boat will tip over,
Move too slowly the faster it will sink,
Seconds away from abandoning ship,
But there's land in sight,
So close to shore,
Tying a rope to the boat,
Jumping into the water,
The water is so cold,
Pulling the boat to shore,
Moving too slowly,
Waves threatening to take the boat away,
Waves threatening to take me away,
Suddenly the shore seems so far away,
Waves fill the boat with water,
The burden of the weight of the water,
Becomes unbearable,
The rope is pulled out of my hands,
And the boat sinks,
Pulling me under,
I swim to the surface,
Swim to shore,
Once on shore I look back,
There is nothing left of the Friend-ship
poem by Mandy Author
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I refuse to go into a fast-food outlet - to use the toilet even - in case anyone got the wrong idea and thought I was sneaking in a quick burger.
quote by Jonny Wilkinson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Boat To Sail
Youre up state, up late, and city fed
Im a california label
From the top of my head,
Forever, ah
See a lot of open sky
When the sun goes down
Theres a hot, lot of loving when you come
Around, to free me, ah
In a boat to sail, boat to sail, away, ah
All those letters mailed from a
Boat to sail, away ah
We are riding in a boat to sail
Bare foot, coconut and supermild
Jamaica take a look
At your own child
Forget not
Brian wilson songs are never left behind
Dont you worry baby, youre a friend of mine
For so long
From a boat to sail, boat to sail, away ah
All those letters mailed, from a
Boat to sail, away ah
We are riding in a boat to sail
We are riding in a boat to sail
song performed by by Carpenters
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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