For mad scientists who keep brains in jars, here's a tip Why not add a slice of lemon to each jar, for freshness.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Honey and lemon
Honey and lemon, I know how
The taste blends, and honey and
Pancakes, I know the taste
And lemon in ripe papaya
so sour so sweet
And Honey, how about you and me,
Do I blend like lemon to your honey?
or do i blend more as a yellow slice of
lemon
to your margarita?
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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No Limerick?
A poem presenting with rhyme
and which follows a rhythm in time
need not be what we call
a true Limerick at all
like a lemon, the cousin of lime.
Yet a limerick a lemon can be,
you could use a small slice for your tea.
Do not use it in fudge
and respect that the judge
is the man with no writing degree.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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A Lemon
Out of lemon flowers
loosed
on the moonlight, love's
lashed and insatiable
essences,
sodden with fragrance,
the lemon tree's yellow
emerges,
the lemons
move down
from the tree's planetarium
Delicate merchandise!
The harbors are big with it-
bazaars
for the light and the
barbarous gold.
We open
the halves
of a miracle,
and a clotting of acids
brims
into the starry
divisions:
creation's
original juices,
irreducible, changeless,
alive:
so the freshness lives on
in a lemon,
in the sweet-smelling house of the rind,
the proportions, arcane and acerb.
Cutting the lemon
the knife
leaves a little cathedral:
alcoves unguessed by the eye
that open acidulous glass
to the light; topazes
riding the droplets,
altars,
aromatic facades.
So, while the hand
holds the cut of the lemon,
half a world
on a trencher,
the gold of the universe
wells
to your touch:
a cup yellow
with miracles,
a breast and a nipple
perfuming the earth;
a flashing made fruitage,
the diminutive fire of a planet.
poem by Pablo Neruda
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Lemon Parade
I wish I'd seen you as a little girl
Without your armor to fend off the world
I would have kept you underneath my wing
I would protect you from everything
Make way for the lemon parade
Make way for my girl
Make way for the lemon parade
Make way for my girl
Did the boys all tease you when they had
the chance
Always left standing when it came time
to dance
Did you hide behind your books girl
Did you find your secret friends
Always I'll want you
Always 'till the end
Make way for the lemon parade
Make way for my girl
Make way for the lemon parade
Make way for my girl
song performed by by Tonic from Lemon Parade
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fifty Marbels
Fifty years of marbeles
Pulled from our jars
One by one
Shared with the love of each other
We've watched as the years melted away
Oh how it seemed like only yesterday
When things were all brand new
Now after these fifty years
Whats left in our jars
Are meant for us to renew
All the good times togather
With all those we met on the way
For when the jars go empty
On to the Lord
We'll spend our days
poem by David Kush
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Just A Taste Of Life
what i have in my hand
is a slice of pineapple
it is sweet
its sweetness lingers
in my tongue
and sticks to my brain
it is simply a slice
just a taste of this bigger life
ahead of us
i have another slice
to hand to you
take it
why waste some time
on bitter herbs
and sour grapes?
what i have is just a slice
of sweet pineapple
take it now
it is sweet
what do we have next?
we shall wait and see
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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A pair of Sparrows on my lovely Lemon Tree
Those were the days
So joyous and carefree
When I could watch the preening of
A pair of sparrows on my lovely lemon tree
Summer days were so short, winters were so long
And for endless hours one could go on a kite flying spree
When I could watch, hopping here and there
A pair of sparrows on my lovely lemon tree
Enjoying tender sunshine in winter is a past
And chapattis from an earthen hearth a history
When I could watch, assembling of a nest by
A pair of sparrows on my lovely lemon tree
What seemed to be mundane at that time
Life in my backyard so ordinary
Bliss it is in hindsight, chirping of
A pair of sparrows on my lovely lemon tree
I still sometimes motivate myself
To get off the treadmill and shake the shackles free
But can’t anymore find in my back yard
That pair of sparrows and that lovely lemon tree
A pair of sparrows on my lovely lemon tree..
A pair of sparrows on my lovely lemon tree.......
30 July 09
poem by Ravi Singh
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Jars
The second she was born, they put bits of her in jars,
placenta was the first, that went in the jar,
oh yah, it went straight in the jar.
Then when she was 4, her tonsils, what's more,
her adenoids too were all put in jars,
oh yah, they went straight in the jar.
Hospitals, such strange places, all antiseptic and large
and medics are prone to examine, you know,
all those bodily parts left in jars.
So getting back to the story, appendicitis was next,
and sure as the first two small stanza's
you can guess where appendix went next.
For a while they left her alone, in tact and therefore unharmed
but as soon as she turned 47
they put more of her bits in those jars.
Her uterus and her cervix along with her ovaries too
and next on the list was a very small cyst
that they put in a jar labeled blue.
By the time this poor lady was 60
there wasn't much left I'm afraid, but at least when she died
she was tiny and the coffin was perfect sized.
poem by Ruth Walters
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Scream
Oooh yeah...
You can fill my cup
You can fill my bowl
This train is ready to roll
Your eyes of fire has stole my soul
Still coming back for more
You are the lock I am the key
Climb on my lemon tree
You are the one youre on your knees
You are my little queen
You know just what I mean
Climb on my lemon tree
Make me scream
All night, all night long
Gonna get extreme
All night, all night long
Make me scream
All night, all night long
Gonna get obscene
All night, all night long
All night, all night long
Pretty baby in the back of my car
Look now youve gone too far
Have a slice of my lemon pie
One more will get you high
You wanna know, you wanna see
How much you can squeeze
You are the one,
You are a tease
You love my demon seed
You know just what I mean
Climb on my lemon tree
Make me scream
All night, all night long
Gonna get extreme
All night, all night long
Make me scream
All night, all night long
Gonna get obscene
All night, all night long
All night, all night long
Suck it!
Yeah!
You took me in the wild
No one around for miles
You aint too proud to beg
Juice running down my leg
I want a chick who makes me feel
Mmm... closer babe
I want you to be free
I want you lovin me
I want to hear you scream
I want to you to touch my leg
Make me scream
All night, all night long
Gonna get extreme
All night, all night long
Make me scream
All night, all night long
Gonna get obscene
All night, all night long
All night, all night long
Make me scream
All night, all night long
Gonna get extreme
All night, all night long
Make me scream
All night, all night long
Gonna get obscene
All night, all night long
All night, all night long
song performed by by Billy Idol
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Any Way You Slice It
I caught the tail of a hurricane and Ive never ever been the same
I went out on a limb, gotcha under my skin, well alright
You got dirt under your fingernails
What Im thinkin can land me in jail
Well, youre caught in this trap and you can never go back
Well, oh no no
I know you wanna cross the border and you know the doctors orders
Well its better late than never, cant stay innocent forever
Its alright, its alright, yeah
Any way you slice it, any way you slice it
You know you cant deny it, any way you slice it
Youre hot under the collar
Aint your mothers little daughter anymore
Ooh, aint no wolf on the corner, cant keep it in any longer
Well if youre lookin for bliss
What I got you cant miss, well alright
When it works like a charm itll do you no harm
Youll be in heaven tonight
I know youll feel alright
Any way you slice it, any way you slice it
You know you cant deny it, any way you slice it
I know whats in your heart, I know whats in your mind
Any way you slice it, any way you slice it
You know you cant deny it, any way you slice it
Youre hot under the collar
Aint your mothers little daughter anymore
I know you wanna cross the border and you know the doctors orders
Well its better late than never, cant stay innocent forever
No, no, no, no
Yeah, alright
Well, if I told you once, I told you twice
Just listen, babe, and take my advice
Why settle for seconds when you can have the best
So let me be your king bee, I want your hornets nest
Any way you slice it, any way you slice it
You know you cant deny it, any way you slice it
I know whats in your heart, I know whats in your mind, yeah
Any way you slice it, any way you slice it
I know you cant deny it, any way you slice it
Youre hot under the collar
Aint your mothers little daughter anymore
You know you aint your mothers little daughter anymore
Any way, ooh hoo
song performed by by Kiss
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Scientists announced that they have located the gene for alcoholism. Scientists say they found it at a party, talking way too loudly.
quote by Conan O'Brien
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Good Poem
a good poem is as good as it makes you feel
good,
about yourself and your world, your pains
and joys, your sorrows and pains, all mixed up
into one salad
a bowl of greens and reds
a slice of lemon, black olives,
a little pinch of salt, a garnishing
of olive oil, and some
cheese.
and of course, the purple onions
that you peel one by one
tears and the lasting smile
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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San Pedro de Alcantara
[An orange on the table
Your dress on the rug
And you in my bed
Sweet gift of the present
Freshness of the night
Warmth of my life
- 'Alicante', Jacques Prevert]
Clothes strewn on the table
Juice stains the floor board
He rises above you
You journey beneath him
I watch from the window
Cold in the night
Lemon tea on the dresser
Seed of pomegranite
Adorning your belly
As he falls above you
You draw down his kisses
Warm essence of life
Stranded at the station
In the cold of the morning
My bed for your sleeping
The rug for your dress
In the warmth of awakening
Dawn your caress
Lemons on the table
You make up by the window
I lie in my bed
Unable to watch you
The night steals the freshness
The gift that you left
Now I lie beside you
Emptiness on the table
Your hem in my fingers
The gift a deliverance
Your presence a memory
Warmth of the past.
poem by Frank Bana
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A large fraction of the most interesting scientists have read a lot of SF at one time or another, either early enough that it may have played a part in their becoming scientists or at some later date just because they liked the ideas.
quote by Frederik Pohl
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Leman Lemon Relativity
LEMAN LEMON RELATIVITY
May 'rose' today, tomorrow symbolize
All once pomegranate represented?
Unthorned, unexpected rose' demise,
Destiny preferring lemon scented?
Eternity bears witness as time flies
Many former meanings are repented
As generation challenges, defies,
'Universal truths' plinths uncemented.
Defining lemon love we recognize
Evolution, ever discontented,
Modifies, old favorites downsized,
As newer fight for light misrepresented,
Unsatisfactory in any guise,
DEfinitions, reputations dented.
26 July 2008
robi03_1791_robi03_0000 ASX_LZX
Leman Lemon Relativity poem © Jonathan Robin
poem by Jonathan Robin
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Opportunities
I've got the brains, you've got the looks
Let's make lots of money
You've got the brawn, i've got the brains
Let's make lots of -
I've had enough of scheming and messing around with jerks
My car is parked outside, i'm afraid it doesn't work
I'm looking for a partner, someone who gets things fixed
Ask yourself this question: do you want to be rich?
I've got the brains, you've got the looks
Let's make lots of money
You've got the brawn, i've got the brains
Let's make lots of money
You can tell i'm educated, i studied at the sorbonne
Doctored in mathematics, i could have been a don
I can program a computer, choose the perfect time
If you've got the inclination, i have got the crime
Oh, there's a lot of opportunities
If you know when to take them, you know?
There's a lot of opportunities
If there aren't, you can make them
Make or break them
I've got the brains, you've got the looks
Let's make lots of money
Let's make lots of -
(aahhhhh) money
(aahhhhh)
(aahhhhh - di du da di da bu di ba)
You can see i'm single-minded, i know what i could be
How'd you feel about it, come and take a walk with me?
I'm looking for a partner, regardless of expense
Think about it seriously, you know, it makes sense
Let's (got the brains)
Make (got the looks)
Let's make lots of money (oohh money)
(let's) you've got the brawn
(make) i've got the brains
Let's make lots of money (oohh money)
I've got the brains (got the brains)
You've got the looks (got the looks)
Let's make lots of money (oohh money)
Money
song performed by by Pet Shop Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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There's this big pie in show business, and you physically can't eat the whole pie. If you give everybody a slice of pie, you will still have more than enough. The real trick is not to try to get the whole pie, but to keep the biggest slice.
The marmalade cat
it was a sticky situation
'Orange or Lemon? '
the marmalade cat at hotel-reception
paused and flexed his claws
'It depends on my mood'
'It's what you are now'
'Lemon'
the young lady smiled
'Is that with or without peel? '
poem by STEPHEN BRIAN Brady
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It is, I think, particularly in periods of acknowledged crisis that scientists have turned to philosophical analysis as a device for unlocking the riddles of their field. Scientists have not generally needed or wanted to be philosophers.
quote by Thomas Kuhn
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Lemon's Quest
The whole of the fruit world were assembled
to hear what the lemon had to say.
In anticipation the fruit sat and trembled,
would it be the lemon’s day?
“Why can’t there be a sweet tasting lemon? ”
Said lemon in a tone of revolt.
To the fruit world this was open rebellion
and had to be brought to a halt.
The atmosphere turned sour towards lemon,
as he said, “This is not a lot to ask,
it’s a reasonable enough question,
and I’m sure not a major task.
I cannot understand your objections
about a fruit that wants to progress.
I’m open to all and any suggestions,
but until then I’ll sit and digress.”
The avocado replied to the question,
“The lemon is bitter and that is that! ”
“That’s an unfounded objection, ” said lemon.
“It maybe, ” said the Chairman, “but it is a matter of fact.”
The language was now strong and offensive,
as Chairman Plum called out for restraint,
“Order, fruit please, we must not be derisive.”
The tangerine looked likely to faint.
Chairman Plum summed up with a speech,
“This raises many questions for all nations, ”
he was then rudely interrupted by the peach,
“Just think about the complications? ”
A voice shouted from the back of the room,
it was grape with an answer to the problem,
“A sweet lemon must have its own bloom,
without it there will be no conclusion.
The answer is simply, graft and propagation,
a vine, with a lemon tree shoot.
It’s straight forward and without complication,
and should produce a sweet lemon fruit.”
The assembly calmed and became much quieter;
grape was thanked for his solution.
The outlook was now decidedly brighter,
bringing an end to the lemon’s resolution.
The lemon looked across at the chairman
and asked if there were any one with doubt.
The avocado said, “Yes, you give me indigestion, ”
“Out of order, ” said plum, “cut it out! ”
“All those in favour say aye, ” said plum.
“Then the ayes win the vote gentlemen.
We now await a fruitful outcome,
and this assembly is adjourned until then.”
One year later
On the grafted lemon tree a fruit appeared,
but the colour didn’t quite look right.
The lemon was fighting back his tears,
as the grape suggested more light.
Two weeks later
“What beauty of yellow and blue, ” said plum,
“It must be time to judge the taste, ” said grape.
“Why, it’s delicious and sweet; a job well done,
we must have a drink to celebrate.”
Three weeks later
At the next assembly, Lemon beamed with happiness
and announced the success of the new taste.
The avocado said, “I don’t wish to spoil your party,
but aren’t you celebrating in haste?
A lemon is a lemon and will be forever just a lemon,
a beautiful smelling fruit with a taste that's bitter!
I sincerely hope that you have learned your lesson,
a lemon no, but a new fruit that tastes much better.
So with this sweet new fruit I congratulate your success,
but lemon, please don’t try to be what you are not,
you’re famous for your aroma and countless other uses,
so be happy with what you’ve got.”
poem by Orlando Belo
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