To me, clowns aren't funny. In fact, they're kinda scary. I've wondered where this started, and I think it goes back to the time I went to the circus and a clown killed my dad.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Another clown
the clown with red nose
the clown with green ears
the clown with yellow cheeks
the clown with webbed feet
the children don’t like the clowns
all clowns
all the children are scared by all clowns
the child with orange hairs
the child with blue eyes
the child with pink smiles
the child with wide eyes
the clown don’t like the children
all children
all the clowns want to kill all children
the clown get back at home
He shouts: I hate the children
then he eats the soup of day
quietly smiling
the child get back at home
He shouts: I hate the clowns
then he eats the soup of day
quietly smiling
But the worst is forthcoming:
one child among one million
will become a clown
Me I am not a child
I am not a clown and
I do not like the soup
luckily
all sad stories have an end
and here I write a full stop
poem by Jean Francois Le Goff
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Revivification
I could have been a funny circus clown
With multi- colored makeup on my face.
I could have been the greatest fool around
My face on posters all over the place.
But I chose instead to be a poet
An unknown writer who now writes verses.
A self indulging choice I must admit
But its satisfaction reimburses
The time and effort I devote to it.
I will never be a Poe or Whitman
Nor poet laureate I must admit
And that famous funny-circus-clown man?
I resurrect him occasionally
Like in this present piece of poetry.
poem by Albert Ahearn
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Removing The Grease Paint
Removing the grease paint,
From the face of any clown...
And a circus is not what first comes to mind.
Although,
Clowns determined to start their own circus...
Will find a way to do it,
With a more acceptable appearance.
And one dressed in a tailored suit,
Can achieve remarkable success.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Side Show
I ain't got no fun today
It's just like yesterday, oh yeah
Only different shades of grey
I'm bored right out of my skull
I'd have to get high just to be dull
I'm institutional
My TV screen spins around and around
And around and around
I need a sideshow
Some kinda creepshow
They ran the circus out of town
But the ring master said "Boy, you can stick around"
I pay to see all the freaks
Some finger lickin' chicken-eating geek
Hey, that sounds cool to me
I just want to step inside
I want a scary ride, oh yeah
See Jeckyll turn to Hyde
I fell my head spinnin' round and around
And around and around
I need a sideshow, oh yeah
Some kinda creepshow, oh yeah
I just want someplace to go, oh yeah
I tried to be the circus clown
But even my monkey wouldn't hang around
And the hunchback midget and his
twisted friends
Offer me a world of thrills that never end
I need a sideshow
Some kind of freaky show, oh yeah
Down where the neon glows
Just like a psychedelic video
Or a 24 hour party, go go go
Not a gozio, no
I need a sideshow
My private sideshow
song performed by by Alice Cooper
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cloony The Clown
I'll tell you the story of Cloony the Clown
Who worked in a circus that came through town.
His shoes were too big and his hat was too small,
But he just wasn't, just wasn't funny at all.
He had a trombone to play loud silly tunes,
He had a green dog and a thousand balloons.
He was floppy and sloppy and skinny and tall,
But he just wasn't, just wasn't funny at all.
And every time he did a trick,
Everyone felt a little sick.
And every time he told a joke,
Folks sighed as if their hearts were broke.
And every time he lost a shoe,
Everyone looked awfully blue.
And every time he stood on his head,
Everyone screamed, 'Go back to bed!'
And every time he made a leap,
Everybody fell asleep.
And every time he ate his tie,
Everyone began to cry.
And Cloony could not make any money
Simply because he was not funny.
One day he said, 'I'll tell this town
How it feels to be an unfunny clown.'
And he told them all why he looked so sad,
And he told them all why he felt so bad.
He told of Pain and Rain and Cold,
He told of Darkness in his soul,
And after he finished his tale of woe,
Did everyone cry? Oh no, no, no,
They laughed until they shook the trees
With 'Hah-Hah-Hahs' and 'Hee-Hee-Hees.'
They laughed with howls and yowls and shrieks,
They laughed all day, they laughed all week,
They laughed until they had a fit,
They laughed until their jackets split.
The laughter spread for miles around
To every city, every town,
Over mountains, 'cross the sea,
From Saint Tropez to Mun San Nee.
And soon the whole world rang with laughter,
Lasting till forever after,
While Cloony stood in the circus tent,
With his head drooped low and his shoulders bent.
And he said,'THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT -
I'M FUNNY JUST BY ACCIDENT.'
And while the world laughed outside.
Cloony the Clown sat down and cried.
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
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If Life Was A Circus
If lide was a circus
I'd be your clown,
I'd get on your pony
ride your merry-go-
round.
if life was a circus
under your big tent,
make love with you
forever
we'd be heaven spent.
if life was a circus
in your arena we would
play,
with each other forever
forever, and a day.
but life is not a circus
I am not a clown,
all I can ever do
is watch your merry-go-
round.
poem by Heather Burns
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Clown In Waiting
Everyone has a funny story
that has happen to them.
I have quite a few
which makes me a clown in waiting.
At the time they were not funny,
however looking back now
the embarrassment has gone
and years have passed.
You think why did I do that?
It was probably immaturity
or being over zealous
that those silly mistakes were made.
Now as you sit down with friends
and talk about years gone by.
You recall these funny stories,
giving everyone a damn good laugh.
You smile to yourself,
hoping you don’t make mistakes like that again.
You know you will
as you are a clown in waiting.
23 January 2009
poem by David Harris
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As A Matter Of Fact
Written by s. garrett & d. boyette
Blow daddy, aww, yeah
Here we are, standing at the hard line
We made it last this long
The two of us, together since the first time
And I believe our love is still strong
Seems love has a funny way
Well, it can come or go or it can choose to stay
But love says what it has to say
(chorus)
Matter of fact (ooh, as a matter of fact)
I love you (oh, as a matter of fact)
And I love that you love me back
As a matter of fact (ooh, as a matter, a matter)
Some said we wouldnt make it this far
But they dont talk no more (no more)
The love we share is precious as a big star
And what we haves what others hope for
Seems love has a funny way
Well, it can come or go or it can choose to stay
But love says what it has to say
(chorus)
Matter of fact (ooh, as a matter of fact)
I need you (oh, as a matter of fact)
And Im glad that you need me back
As a matter of fact (ooh, as a matter, a matter)
Mm, matter of fact, yeah (ooh as a matter of fact)
I want you (yeah, as a matter of fact)
And I cant tell you more than that
As a matter of fact, (ooh, as a matter) yeah (matter)
Aww, blow, daddy
Musical interlude
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Seems love has a funny way
Well, it can come and go or it can choose to stay
But love says what it has to say
(repeat chorus)
Matter of fact (ooh, as a matter of fact)
I love you (oh, as a matter of fact)
Yeah and I love that you love me back
As a matter of fact (ooh, as a matter of fact)
Ooh, ooh, baby
Matter of fact (ooh, as a matter of fact)
I need you (yeah, as a matter of fact)
And Im glad that you need me right back
As a matter of fact
(ooh, as a matter) yeah (a matter)
song performed by by Natalie Cole
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All the Jokes
All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old
But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told
Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air
poem by Derek Ouyang
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Funny Dude
Funny dude
I love seeing you smile but I hate the way you treat me as if I were your personal clown. I treat you like a queen in which my heart she ruled but you treat like your royal fool. Tell a joke get a laugh ask a question no reply. I wish laughter was currency because your heart I would buy. I still try to keep you happy even if its my worst day but other days I feel like your attention isn't pay as if you were stealing my time to entertain your mind. Ha he is so funny and kinda cute but from looking at his personality he's not the one for you. Its all fun until someone falls in love. I tell a joke everybody laugh and once that's over I go back to being sad. Its easy for me to fall in love with you but its hard for anybody to love that Funny dude...
poem by LaDarius Washington
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Pretty Vision
I saw a vision
Little boy
You covered up your own insights
But I may have held your hand
Or seen the ghost you tried to fight
Oh a vision
Little boy
You strayed down to find the clowns
Oh and when I wrote these lines for you
Not, not one of them was found
Blame the circus and the clowns
Before you blame yourself
Cause when your greatest needs go unforgiven
And your gifts go unreceived
Little boy
Man of need
Who could know that the road would fall
Not me not one of us
That surrounds your golden walls
So now blame the circus and the clowns
Before you blame yourself
Cause all your greatest needs go unforgiven
All your gifts go unreceived
Who could know of the fall
Who could slow the speed
Who could hold your hand
We all laughed and thought you were so free
Vision boy
Man of need
Oh do the monkeys get you down
Oh they promise you the dance of life
Complete with laughters crown
Little boy
Man of need
Did you find the freak show and a crowd
I said cut the canvas on the tent
Oh we were all innocent
Blame the circus and the clowns
Before you blame yourself
When your greatest needs go unforgiven
And your gifts go unreceived
Oh your greatest needs go unforgiven
And your gifts they go unreceived
Little boy
Man of need
song performed by by Indigo Girls
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Poster
By david jones and steve pitts
The circus is coming to town. it said on the poster.
Get your tickets now, before its too late.
A dancing bear and a circus clown its so funny.
I cant wait to see everything there.
I feel like Im already there.
I must see her fly through the air.
Horse running round and round in a circle.
I cant wait to see everything there.
I wonder if its just like they say on the poster.
If it is I know I will be there.
I feel like Im already there.
I must see her fly through the air.
I feel like Im already there.
I must see her fly through the air.
[repeat and fade]
song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Send In the Clowns
That's what they do
In a three-ring circus
When something goes wrong
They send in the clowns
It's to distract the audience
From the ring with a problem
Sometimes a net breaks
Sometimes an animal balks
A political example
Of sending in the clowns
Is Ms. Clinton being sent
To the Mideast to broker peace
The resulting cease fire
In a fagile tent
That may catch fire
Then it's back to weasons for hire
poem by Tom J. Mariani
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Beneath The Face of A Clown
My mother’s uncle was a circus clown
forever tripping up and falling down.
A circus performer through and through
who would try anything they asked him to.
With a tiny umbrella attached to his hat
and a blonde haired wig under that.
A huge red nose that he honked so loud
always brought a smile from the crowd.
Apart from that he never made a sound,
but the humour button he always found.
He made the most timid of children smile
by sharing his talent for just a little while.
But beneath the face of this funny clown
was one of anguish, sadness, and frown.
A tragic event struck the funny man’s life
whilst performing with a throwing knife.
A hooded assistant attached to a turning wheel;
her shout of okay released the knife of steel.
A gasping audience watched it cut through the air…
yells and cries witnessed the death of her.
A lapse of concentration, a hesitant troubled mind,
an unfortunate twist of fate that was so unkind.
It was then he discovered that his throwing knife
had found the heart of his newly wed wife.
poem by Orlando Belo
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I’m a clown.
Call me a clown
As I do everything
For an applause.
Aren’t you amused?
Let me be a clown.
Call me a clown
As I do everything
For my belly.
Aren’t you amused?
Let me be a clawn
14.12.2010
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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Scary But Fun
The first time you rode your bicycle down the streets, you fell on your hands,
(? ) and bruises, the first time you dropped then you ran,
Scary but fun, take a chance in life you have one/won,
A little bit scary, but fun, did you forget what its like to be young?
I remembered I learned how to water-ski, and the road ran over my head,
Broke several bones in my body, I got right up and did it again
Scary but fun take a chance in life you have one/won,
A little bit scary, but fun, did you forget what its like to be young,
See you standing on the corner, watching lights as the action goes by,
Hearing music coming from the neighbour, as they sit in the silence, hear them cry,
Take to your wings, butterfly,
Scary, but fun, crazy, but so much fun,
Scary, but fun, crazy, but so much fun,
Scary but fun, take a chance in life you have one/won,
Scary, little bit scary, but fun, did you forget what its like to be young?
Fun! (x3)
Fun! (x3)
Fun! young! fun!
Im a little bit scary, but Im fun,
Just a little scary, but so much fun,
Fun.
song performed by by Grace Jones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My class
My class is a funny class
When the teacher is not in
Our class is a circus
That will conquer the school
We have acrobats
We have clowns
and we even have elephants
My class is a noisy class
When the teacher is not in
Our class is a market
That will conquer the school
We have hawkers
We have fruiterers
and we even have butchers
No matter what
A circus or a market
We enjoy our class
When the teacher is not in
poem by Sarah Ally
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Circus Song
Cotton candy, two for a quarter
See if the fat man can guess your weight
A big stuffed tiger is what I bought her
And I'm going home 'cause it's late
Roller coasters make me dizzy
And cotton candy makes me sick
I wish I had some Bromo fizzy
Now that would do the trick
Everyone knows that the clowns aren't happy
And everyone knows that the people don't care
I wish I could laugh at the way that they're acting
But I'm so sick, I just don't dare to
High wire dancers kick and balance
White silk horses step in time
The tattooed man displays his talents
I'm not the talented kind
I always go to the circus on Sunday
And there I can laugh at the people I see
But when I leave home in the morning on Monday
Everybody laughs at me
I make other people nervous
I guess that's why they laugh at me
But to me my life is a three-ring circus
And I can see it for free
Have you seen my wife Elvira?
She can tame a lion, you know
Well, I once had a bushy mane
But that was so damn long ago
Tight-collared clowns in plastic buildings
Have happy families as their fate
Happy jobs and happy clubs
And happy people they hate
Everyone's juggling and everyone's acting
With smiles of grease paint three feet wide
Everyone's caught on a carousel pony
And one time around is a lifetime ride
song performed by by Don McLean
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, 'Forgive me, but that's just too much.'
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Circus Of Death
This is a song called the circus of death.
It tells the true story of a circus we met.
The first two verses concern the actual arrival at heathrow airport of commissioner steve mcgarrett.
The third emotionally describes a map showing the range of the circus.
The fourth and fifth were extracted from an article in the guardian of march the 19th, 1962.
The last is a short wave radio message from the last man on earth.
Nine o'clock flight from hawaii
The trident is just touching down
We're waiting here on the tarmac
Mcgarrett is wearing a frown
He's here to help with a problem
A blood-spattered curse on our land
Please cast your eye over this map, sir
This business is quite out of hand
The circus of death is approaching
Its pathway is painted in red
Before it the frightened and helpless
Behind it a trail of the dead
The narcotic that forges their union
Is a substance known only to one
To the clown it is known as dominion
It's a secret that he'll give to none
The drug which gives the clown power
Means the circus can never be stopped
And his dream can go on unhindered
'til the last human being has dropped
Spare me and my family
I've done you no wrong
Go away, please let us be
I've known you for too long
song performed by by Human League
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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